I Lived to Tell About It!

A.K.A. Bountiful Triathlon - Take 2
(For those of you who are sick of hearing about this, the title and the sub-title is the "Reader's Digest version" and you can stop reading now!)

A couple of weeks ago, my husband called me from work for a "planning session."
"Do we have anything going on August 14th?"
"WHAT? Are you serious?"
"I take it we DO?"
"Uhhh...it's my Triathlon!!"
"Ohhh....yeah...."
It's only the culminating event of the whole entire summer, but I guess when YOU'RE NOT the one doing all the training, it's easy to forget. (?) (?) (?)

Last year, when I posted about the Bountiful Tri(bi)athlon that I did, I got several comments from others saying that they would maybe do it with me next year. (Which is now this year.) Do you remember who you are? Are you curious WHO said they would? Go ahead, go check. ;) I was actually surprised to get so many such responses, since most peoples' response to my triathlon goal include the words "crazy" or "WHY?" or "mentally unstable" or something similar. Well, I DID end up personally inviting (emailing) ONE of those comment-ers from last year to do it with me this year -- and to my delight, she accepted! I'll call her "Jill." Because that really IS her name - REALLY! :) My whole motivation behind doing the WHOLE Tri (including the swimming part this time around) was because of the "BIG Birthday" that's coming up for me this year and I need to prove to myself that I'm not old. Jill, being 11 years my junior, has yet to know the definition of "old" so, was motivated by just pure friendship! OK, everyone together, tenderly say, "Aaahhh!"

Last year, I did it as a relay and only did two of the three events: running and biking. This year, I made a goal to do the whole thing - including swimming. GULP! (My own personal demon.) Last year, I also had an unfortunate "incident" with the bike which kind of soured the experience for me. This year, I wanted the whole thing to go smoothly. So, equipped with a new bike that Santa surprised me with, a new bike helmet my son, Ryan, got me for Mother's Day, REAL Triathlon wear, a 25 lb. weight loss since then, and a whole year to "WANT IT" I had high hopes for a successful Tri.

So, this years' experience started the Tuesday before the Saturday Triathlon. That was the day I did my last 3-event workout, run-bike-swim, but I did it in "miniature" (not the full length/time of the actual event) before the Triathlon. And so I was blessed (?) with dreaming about doing those three events all night long - on Tuesday. And on Wednesday. And again on Thursday.

But, on Friday night, I decided to do something about it! I decided to medicate myself the night before the race, to get a good night's sleep. Well......

TWO ADVIL PM HAD NO POWER OVER ME!

Sleep I did not! And when I did, I had dreams that all ended in disaster! As I mentioned in my "100th Post" (#11) that common can't-get-something-accomplished-dream popped up again!

This time, I was trying to get to the Triathlon, but for some reason, I was downtown in the middle of a big city festival/parade of sorts. I'm not even sure if it was in my state/area. It seemed like a much bigger city. And, of course, every route I tried to take, I was getting blocked by all the crowds. There just wasn't a way around all the people in the Festival - and time was ticking away, and the Triathlon start time was quickly approaching.

Another dream I remember was that I was sitting at home about 4:00 on Sunday afternoon. All of a sudden, I look at the clock, and panic as I'm overcome with realization. "Did I miss the Triathlon?" I desperately ask Matt in the dream. I could tell by the look on his face that he KNEW, but he didn't want to break it to me. He gave me an all-knowing nod of his head to confirm the ugly truth. In the dream, I was so mad! All that training for nothing!

But, that pre-event night of torture finally ended and I made it to the actual venue - early!

...And got the "Marks of a Triathlete."

One leg shows my age and the other my race number. (You BETTER get which number is which, RIGHT!) Some people might not want to "advertise" their age, but I gotta hang on to this number as long as possible! :) It is kind of fun and interesting to look at all the other racers' ages - the youngest I saw: 11 (boy & girl). The oldest: 76 (man).

One other thing that was nerve racking was that Jill & I had thought that it was a 3 mile run, a 10 or 11 mile bike, and a 350m swim. When we picked up our race packet, we found out it was officially a 3.35 mile run and a 11.35 mile bike, and (thankfully) we were correct about the swim! You may not think that .35 is a big deal at all - BUT IT IS! (Psychologically more than physically perhaps, and this is a BIG psychological game!)

...We racked our bikes and set up our "transition station."

...And pinned on our race numbers and SMILED while we still could! ;)

(Jill's dad, Dan, ended up making practically a "race-day decision" and came down from Idaho to do it with her - awesome! - even though he doesn't swim (everyones' [including mine] favorite excuse) - double awesome!)

...They did the countdown, and the race started.

...we were off running.

It was a beautiful day for a run - just about 2 hours LATE! It started at 8:30a.m. which makes it too hot for comfort, IMO. Sunny skies past 7 or 8 in the morning is like kryptonite for this runner! My favorite sight (besides seeing my family at their "secret spot" right here on Main St. AND seeing the finish line) was seeing a parked car on the side of the route. It's back window was painted with the quote for us,

"If you CAN BELIEVE, you CAN ACHIEVE!"

Transition 1: Pour water over the top of your head (and down your back as a side effect) since I'm not coordinated enough to drink & run at the same time. Next thing: Grab your bike helmet and put it on.

The "professionals" also have to take off their running shoes and put on their biking shoes at this point. But, I'm NOT a professional, so for me,

Running shoes = Biking shoes. SIMPLE MATH! :)

Then you have to walk/run your bike to the designated "mounting spot" and your T1 time ends and your bike time begins.

Many people have asked me what kind of a new bike I got. To which I always answered, "Pink." Isn't she cute? ;)

Even though I was more confident because I felt my new bike would take care of the problems I had last year, I had not anticipated the feelings that getting on the bike in the Tri would bring back to me! As I rode away on my bike, the unwelcomed, haunting experience of last year came into my mind.

Then when I came upon that actual fateful corner in the route that the "incident" occurred last year, I had a flashback of the whole thing. But, I rode on through without anything happening. Phew!

A little further down the road, I did see a woman from the tri, crouched down on the side changing out her tire tube. I seriously wanted to cry for her! It was HER having the "incident" this year - and I could relate. (Come to think of it, she was probably one of those who passed me on the bike later on in the race, so I didn't need to be feeling sorry for her, after all. :)) But, witnessing that left me feeling uneasy about the stability of my own biking luck.

Later, the route takes us passed a bike store named, "Saturday Cycles" (since they're only open on Saturdays) - they are the ones who actually assembled my new bike. Two of it's workers were out front watching our race. As I biked by, I had the thought, "If anything bad is going to happen [with me and my bike], this would be a good place for it to happen!" But, nothing did, and as I got further away from the security of Saturday Cycles, I prayed I wouldn't need their help anyway!

At one point in the bike portion, I was just thinking about how WELL it was going (i.e. no disasters, not referring to my speed, I was getting passed by quite a few bikers) and I felt so grateful. I also thought about how I WAS DOING THE WHOLE TRI, and I got choked up, and I think if I hadn't already sweated out all my moisture, tears WOULD'VE dropped. Who says Triathlons are all a test of physical skill? So, I just kept pedaling for the unannounced 11.35 miles and finished that part of it - WITHOUT "incident."

BUT, as I turned onto 200 West, the last stretch of road before returning to the transition station for the final event (swimming), I felt like I was going to THROW UP! Seriously. It was like the reality of what was next hit me. And THAT scared me to death!

...and that's not an understatement...as you can see by the look on my face as I was "in transition" (T2) from racking my bike, declothing (well, just my shoes, socks, & shirt), putting on my swim cap & goggles, and running into the pool (just beyond this photo frame.)

Could I just veer off to my right about now, exit the race, and run over to Matt instead of to the pool?

No, instead of quitting, let's just get this over with!

And so I just jumped right in the pool...and went down, down, down - expecting to push off the bottom at any time! I never hit the bottom. I, somehow, did not know that this pool was going to be DEEP! And I hate being in deep water! I kicked like mad to get back to the top. Frazzled by that unknown. I started to "swim" and thought, This water sure is murky! And then I realized I had jumped in before pulling my goggles down on my eyes - they were still on my head! So, I swam to the side of the pool, held onto the edge (because I was NOT going to tread deep water!), put on my goggles, and then started to swim again.

I had been warned ahead of time by my sister about the swimming conditions in a Triathlon. Which is this: there are so many swimmers in the same limited lane space that you are kicked and hit by everyone else's legs and arms. She told me that others may swim over the top of me and that I could be "dunked" as their moving arms pushed me down under the water. THAT was my biggest fear, being the frightened, afraid-of-drowning, non-swimmer that I am! Even though I was prepared for this, unfortunately, it happened just like she said it would!

But, what I was not prepared for was this:

I was NOT prepared for how "HARD" actually felt.

I knew it would be hard. After all, my mantra is "I Can Do Hard Things." But, after running and biking the full distance (and faster than usual) I was not prepared for how hard, physically, it would be to swim. My legs had no strength! And that slightly interferes with the kicking part of swimming! It was A LOT easier/smoother during training in my semi-private lane at my hometown pool. And that throws off your psyche!

...but, I knew swimming each lane brought me one lane closer to the finish, so that's what I did.
Look! That's me in the closest lane, black cap & suit, with my face IN THE WATER!
YOU, my friends, are witnessing a miracle!
(Because up until this Summer, I did not do that.)

In fact, I believe I may be the ONLY person with my face IN THE WATER in this picture frame. So, swim...swim....swim...225m in the first pool.

Can I just say how hard it was to pull myself out of that first pool? Just look for yourselves! I struggled to get out, (Legs still not working) then walked over to the neighboring pool to swim the last 125m.

THE SWIM IS OVER!
And I survived.
This is what "SPENT" looks like.
(Physically, psychologically, & emotionally)

But, while in this "dying position," I heard Jill yelling, "You're not done yet. Hurry! Get up! Get up and go cross the Finish Line!" (It was another 10 yards away down the pool deck.)
And so I obeyed her and did. Finish time: 1:41.
And then I leaned against the wall - for a long time - and breathed in-and-out, in-and-out. I HAD DONE IT! And then a volunteer made a special delivery of a garbage can over to me - apparently, he thought it looked like I was going to puke!

...A Happy Time - we're done!

(I had a better photo to post, but Jill banned it from the blog world - we were still in our swimming attire! :))

Mine & Jill's kids (seen in the background) ate our share of the post-race refreshments - it was OK since I was kind of repulsed by the thought of food!

Here's a shot afterwards of me and my trusty bike.

MY MAGIC BIKE!

*kiss, kiss*

Thank you for seeing me through!

THE END.

*****

But, it's not really the end. There's something else on my mind, and quite honestly, I don't really feel like sharing it for fear it will be judged in a way I don't intend. I had set a goal to complete a whole Triathlon. I faced my 30+ year old fear of swimming. I trained all summer and was fortunate enough to have Jill train with me about 3X/week. I even cut 6 minutes off my run time year over year. I cut 5:15 off my bike time year over year, and I (not a relay team member) I swam it myself. And I didn't drown. Jill, Dan & I all shared a group hug on the pool deck when we'd all finished. Short of holding hands in a circle with all the participants and singing Cumbayah, it was a great, successful first Triathlon for me.

And then I came home.

Feeling good.

Me talking about it and reliving it.

The family all sharing details they could remember.

Matt telling me "it was so inspiring." Confessing he choked up a couple of times watching me swim.

The High.

Fading.

ZZzzzz....

So why is there something nagging, some portion of dissatisfaction that hangs around in my head? I can't shake the feeling that it wasn't really good enough, which is confusing since I accomplished my goal. What is my problem? Am I just high-maintenance? Ungrateful? Spoiled? Impracticle? Pessimistic? Perfectionist?

It's like after the fact, I changed my goal. And now I'm measuring myself against the new "standard." For Example, when I looked at my bike time closer, I realized that last year's bike time included all the time it took to fix my bike problem, so when you take that into consideration, maybe I didn't really bike faster this year - maybe even slower. Why can't I recognize that I did it non-stop this time - and the distance was further - which should count for something? Also, now, I'm wishing I could've completed the Tri without it feeling hard. I'm disappointed that even though I followed the training program (the hard part), I wasn't prepared for how HARD the event (which is suppose to be the "pay off" fun part) would feel. Even the other participants I talked to afterwards (including the 1st Place Overall Female, my cousin's wife) ALSO said that swimmming at the end of a Tri is difficult and they struggled and had to adjust, too. But, somehow, I won't let myself have that "excuse." It's like I want the swim to feel like it felt when I was training. Logically, I can say that, of course, a swim workout done alone (without other events) is going to be MUCH easier than when done on the tail end of a Triathlon, but I just must be illogical. How does a girl who accomplished what she set out to do still find a way to be anything but ecstatic?

I told you. I should've just ended the post with a shot of my pink bike.