Not to be Confused as White Elephant Gifts

The missionary care package I did for April was WHITE.

{the contents}

Ya....I over-estimated what would fit in a box - I just kept putting all the white things 

I saw at the store into my shopping cart.

And then, when it didn't all fit, some of my kids called, "dibs" on some of the overflow,

but I did have to return some of the stuff to the store.

Did you know that Target just throws away any food item that is returned?

(Because they think I might have poisoned it, EVEN IF IT IS UNOPENED/UNUSED, so they don't want to sell it to someone else.)

At the Returns counter, the "Customer Service" employee 

(I'm using that title very loosely because I think she *forgot* she works in Customer SERVICE when she was "helping" me) 

made sure to SIGH audibly (many times) as she processed my returns, 

and gave me a discourse about the "fate" of the returned food items, 

sneaking in a comment that some people just donate it without asking for their money back.

(I don't think the Customer Service department is a "good fit" for her, what about you?!)

*End of sidetrack*

On with the care package....

{the packed and ready-to-ship box}

The four white flaps say:

"For behold the [WVCH mission] field is WHITE already to harvest..."  D&C 4:4

"You are the 'great WHITE hope' of the WVCH mission!"  :)

"...though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as WHITE as snow..."  Isaiah 1:18  (a great scripture to share with your peeps!)

"Make sure to give "WHITE glove service" to each person you meet!"

*******************

To see past missionary care packages, click HERE

There is Not a Single Pair of Socks in our Entire Household

...ONLY SINGLETONS

Aaaaugh!

Two hours of helping the girls clean their disaster area bedroom, and this is what we end up with!

The "Buddy System" is not working around here!

(Although, more often than not, I don't think the dryer is the culprit.....my kids have this crazy idea that they're suppose to take their socks off in the back yard, in the car, in the garage, while going up the stairs, at the dinner table, while reading on the couch, instead of right by the dirty clothes hamper where they could deposit them promptly into it...but they only take one sock off in the first location, then take the other one off at a later time/different location to make the whole sock situation EVEN MORE "adventurous!")

The Land of Short Street Signs

Thanks to our [infamous] East Winds here in Farmington, our street signs frequently get blown over.  For a few days after a windstorm, all order on the streets is gone as the signs, that usually tell drivers what to do, lay on the ground.  In some lucky cases, the sign is still somewhat close to the location where it belongs and the city workers can use the same sign to put back up and restore order.
But, when they've blown over and the poles have either broken off or are just severely bent at the base, to make it stand up again, they have to bury the *new* bottom of the pole into the ground which results in the sign being about a foot shorter than it used to be before the wind.  (I've read various reports that typical stop signs are anywhere between 7-10 feet tall.)

And then when the next windstorm comes along and knocks over the sign again, they have to go through the same process, which decreases the height of the sign again...

And then the wind blows hard again.....and the knocked down/broken pole/re-bury/put back up series happens all over again!

Until it gets to the point that, if you are driving a van/truck/SUV, you actually have to look down to notice the street signs.  I just can't get used to the short signs around here - no matter how many times I pass it, I totally notice it and think, That looks so weird!   I know! The Wizard of Oz should film in our city!

My son wants to go pose by all the signs (because I think he is taller than them in their shortened, post-disaster shape) and send those photos to his missionary brother to "prove" how tall he is!  Of course, he plans to "omit" the little fact that they are NOT standard height anymore!  ;)

This is Not Going to Sit Well with Someone

Today is Kyle's "half-birthday," and as such, we performed the traditional (and ceremonious) measurement of his height, and marked it on the growth chart.

As you can see, his line is now JUST A SMIDGE higher than his older brother's line!!!
{due to growing 1 1/2 inches in the last 6 months, and 4 inches in the last year}

Now, of course, it's been a whole year since Ryan has been measured since he's been away on his mission for 8 months, and the 4 months before that was one huge whirlwind with High School graduation activities/mission prep/last family vacation/last ever family photo with our family as we know it/bidding farewell to dozens of his friends when they left on their missions.....

So, who knows?  Ryan MAY HAVE grown some more in our absence.
But, if NOT.......Kyle is SO PLEASED with his current standing!  ;)

And he's convinced that he is going to pass up his [6'3"] dad.  Lately, so many people have made comments to him that he is totally starting to resemble Matt, so naturally, he assumes he'll end up as tall or taller than his dad.  Ha!  I seriously doubt that!  Because first of all, he has ME as his mom (a mere 5'3") but also, way back when, I took note of the height predictor test.  (The one where you take a boy's height at age 2 and double it to get their future full height).  And, according to that, he's only going to be 5'8" (which is right where he's at).  According to the "test," his older brother's potential isn't much better at 5'9" but it would be one inch taller than Kyle, so that's mostly what matters in their minds!

I intend to write about this fun little "happening" in my next weekly letter to Ryan......and I already know what the reaction will be!  :)
Horror
Disbelief
Displeasure
Disturbing
Annoyance
Pain
Mental Torment
Justification
Denial


I just hope this news doesn't knock him off his "game" to the point that he becomes disabled in his missionary work!  ;)

***************************
POST-EDIT NOTE:  Ryan promptly replied to my letter stating, "I want to see pics (proof) Kyle has passed me up!"

Did I call it, or what?!?  haha  ;)

In Case I Want to Hang Out on My Porch All the Time....

I'm all equipped with a microwave out there....

...ya know, for popping my popcorn, making hot pockets, melting cheese, and heating water for my cocoa.

Heck!  I'd never have to leave the porch!

But, wait!  WHY is there a microwave on my porch?!?
The truth is....it just randomly appeared there this afternoon.

At first I thought, Oh no!  Is Kyle getting asked to a dance?  He's not 16 yet - he won't be able to go!  (We don't date until age 16).  No, that's not right - the next High School dance is PROM, and that's boy's choice....

But then I saw the tag was addressed to, "Kevin" and I was like, Oh...they got the wrong house!

But then Kyle informed me that he goes by that name sometimes.  WHAT?!?  Well, that's news to me!

So, I'm standing there looking out onto our porch in utter dumbfoundedness, and Kyle is completely amused by it.

He said this microwave was definitely for him.  (Apparently, it's a inside joke.)

It looked all clean and new, though - doesn't somebody need this?  Is some teenager's parent wondering at this very second, as they're trying to make some cup-o-noodles, Hey, what happened to our microwave?

So, Kyle attempted to explain.....it has something to do with him wearing yellow jeans and a whale tie to school, a fictitious business he owns selling microwaves (with a partner), discussions about the proper name to call your boss, and another family renovating their kitchen due to a short in their [faulty] microwave.

{Huh???}
CLEAR AS MUD, right?!?

Anyway, I guess it doesn't need to be returned (he figured out the 3 girls who did it, and they said they don't need it) - so we're now officially the proud owners of a porch microwave to make our house look REAL NICE (said in Cousin Eddie's [from Christmas Vacation] accent/voice!) and white trashy.  ;)

Now I Have 'Em, Now I Don't.....and Then I Do Again

THIS WAS ME LAST WEEK!

And this depicts our neighborhood...

Then we went away to a [colder, snowy] ski town in Colorado for "Spring Break" which apparently was against the norm.
We were informed of this when my daughter returned to school following the week-long Spring Break, and all the kids were asking each other what they did/where they went for Spring Break, the "winners" were:

• St. George

• Las Vegas

• California

When she shared that she went to Colorado (and to Wyoming, also, for 1 day), everyone replied, "WHAT?!?" and  "WHY?!?" with dumbfounded looks on their faces.  ;)
(We were ultimately there for my nephew's Baptism, but hung out with extended family a few days before, too).

But, anyway, during the 5 days away from home, this is what happened.....

I could walk and not be sneezy, I could run and not have snot constantly run out of my nose! 

THIS WAS ME!

And, then we returned home to Utah a couple of days ago.....

AND THIS IS ME, AGAIN!

My conclusion?  
I must be allergic to Utah!!
Where should I start looking to move to instead?  The thing is; I don't really LIKE the snow, so I don't want to go live in the Rocky Mountain area of Colorado, that we were in for Spring Break, permanently.  So, how about Arizona?  Hawaii?  Kentucky?  New York?  Texas?  West Virginia? ;)

I'm sure the difference in how I felt/reacted had nothing to do with the fact that Spring had not yet Sprung up in the colder, snowier location we were staying in.  ;)
And, thus, the absence of pollen.  Nah.

With my new knowledge, I must take drastic measures and start looking elsewhere to live.

But, then, is scorching heat, mold & rainy seasons, fried foods being readily available, honking taxis, big BBQ, & breaking mission rules any better than allergies?

It's for my health & well being.

My husband says we're never packing up another house and moving again.

Whatever.  If he finds a wife with puffy, red, bulging eyes (or swollen shut) with no make up because it's dripped off, and a chapped, red nose to match, with sneeze spray projecting clear across the room attractive.......more power to him!!!

I'm glad we could have this little talk.