Friday, July 31, 2009
Kids Say the Darndest Things - July Edition
My kids were going over to a friend's house to watch the "original" Freaky Friday movie.
Kyle: "What's it like?"
Me: "Oh, it's the same mother-daughter story of the Disney movie you know, just with different actors."
Kyle: "Why do they call it, 'original?'"
Me: "Because it was made first. It's the one I watched when I was growing up."
Kyle: "Is it in black and white?" 7/09
Haylee was showing me the puzzles she had put together at my parents house...
Me: "You did it! Those are the same puzzles I used to play with when I was a little girl!"
Haylee: "WHOA! They MUST be so old!" 7/09
Thursday, July 30, 2009
This is What Happens When...
=
Woops!
And it's amazing the "Queen of Murphy's Law" wasn't even involved this time! (see #71 from previous post)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
100th Post
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I've Lost my Mind -- Have you Found It?
A problem that I thought wasn't suppose to happen for at least a few more DECADES down the road!
I'm serious.
And the fact that I have always strived to be [and I believe have been able to do a pretty good job of being] a "with it," dependable, reliable, "good on her word" type of gal, this REALLY, REALLY causes inner turmoil and aggravation for me!
I AM FORGETTING EVERYTHING! (or, at least, TOO MANY things!)
It's anything from:
- forgetting to tell people stuff - EVEN WHEN I had made a "note-to-self" PRIOR to seeing them that I needed to talk to them about a certain thing.
- leaving laundry in the washer, in a wet wad overnight - ppheeeeew! (which results in having to run the load through again! Aauugh!) Or just simply, starting a load, leaving the laundry room for... I can't remember why, and never finishing it until I happen upon the scene HOURS later.
- forgetting to take my camera very important places - like tea parties, Up close & personal w/ monkies experiences, water fountain playtime, meeting up w/ a friend from 20+ years ago, etc. etc.
- forgetting to eat - until my stomach starts screaming and I look at the clock and realize, "Oh, it's 3:00pm, No wonder!"
- confusing red traffic lights for a stop sign...STOP, wait 1-2-3, GO...horns blaring, brakes screeching, tires skidding, hand gestures flying [at me].
- seeing the soccer registration sign posted around town for weeks, making another "note-to-self" to register my daughter when I get home, and then, you guessed it, not remembering again until the next time I'm driving around town and see the sign...repeat, repeat, repeat...until the deadline comes & goes.
- having a conversation on SATURDAY NIGHT about the fact that the next day was Fast Sunday. And then by the next morning, without a thought, I get a drink and partake of something out of the fridge. (this one I attribute, in part, to being "out of the habit" since it's been 2 years [pre-nursing & pre-pregnancy time period] since I last fasted.)
- forgetting to take any meat out of the freezer for dinner - and then at 5:30pm, everything is rock hard.
- scheduling a trip the last week of August - failing to remember that there's this thing called SCHOOL that will have already started by that time.
- when in the shower, I began with conditioner. So, when I realized the mistake, I followed with the shampoo, so the whole treatment went Conditioner-Shampoo-Conditioner. WHICH I might add, DID have a better effect on my hair than the "normal" Shampoo-Conditioner routine.
- going to bed with my Lily Padz on.
- This one's rather embarrassing, but Kyle had stayed down at his cousin's for several days and we were to meet up again at a family Baptism and he would return home with me then. I understood this when we made the trade-off earlier in the week, I even thought about it that morning before leaving to the Baptism, BUT, at the moment I walked into the Chapel, I had forgotten. So, when Kyle walks up to me (and gives me a big, long hug in our reunion), my first reaction was surprise - surprised to see him there! Who can't remember something like that? People with short term memory loss, I tell ya!
Then there's a few that make me just SO MAD AT MYSELF...
I was driving to my sister's in Orem for her son's baby blessing (so there's a time restraint here), but instead, I drove right on passed and ended up in Provo. I exited in Provo, got back on the freeway and headed back north, only to take the wrong Orem exit, as well. Drove around for a bit, wasn't getting in the right place, had to call my sister - which is the last thing a new mother needs while they're frantically trying to get their baby ready for his big day at church - so, in addition, to my idiotic driving/navigation skills, I was beating myself up for inconveniencing my sister with my call for help!
I had to work at 8:00 one day and I knew that (at least, at one time). I went out for a bike ride at 7:00. I biked for a while with my friend, but then she had to return home for something - this should've been a "trigger" to me, to get me thinking, "Is there anything I need to get home for?" Nope. Instead, I decided I should try to ride the whole distance (18K) of the bike part for my upcoming Triathlon after she went home. So, I did. And I arrived home at 8:20 and Matt asks me, "Don't you have to work anymore?" CRAP! I totally forgot. I have now been placed on "Initial Progressive Guidance." How can I be so dumb?
And finally, for that same Baptism I mentioned earlier, my sister had asked me to make a specific Crab Pasta salad that the Baptism boy special requested for the lunch to follow. I shopped for the ingredients two days before, I made the salad the day before and put it in the fridge to "chill" and allow for flavor enhancement, and then the DAY OF, I made it all the way to the Point of the Mountain before I realized I HAD NOT BROUGHT THE SALAD with me! "You've GOT to be kidding!" I screamed at myself as I drove the car. What in the world is going on with me? It was too late to turn around & get it and still make the Baptism, so I went ahead empty handed. They were counting on that salad. Now what was I going to do with all that salad? Anyone like crab pasta salad? Call me. SO, SO, SO MAD at myself!!! (But, maybe this distraction attributes to my forgetting I was going to see Kyle at the church!)
Like I said before, I am NOT like this -- at least, I didn't used to be! And it's freakin' me out!
Bring on the Sudoku! (I've heard it has Alzheimer's reversal effects)
Bring on the Ginko Biloba!
Or, maybe I should just get more sleep!
Any other suggestions....or explanations?!?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
We've Been "Chalked!"
Although, it wasn't so "anonymous" afterall. We foiled their plan to do it all quietly as our family slept inside our [unlit] home late Saturday Night. Because, in reality, we were NOT inside, but were returning home, way PAST all our children's bedtime, and caught them right in the act as we approached our driveway! :) As we were coming up the street, we saw a half a dozen or so Young Adults gathered in our driveway and we didn't know WHAT THE HECK was going on! Were they choosing that spot to do/deal drugs? Or was a big "confrontation" amongst them about to take place? Or were they getting ready to egg our home? Were they waiting for us... to beat us up?
Matt rolled down his window as he pulled in next to them, ready to tell them to, "SCRAM!" I even think he was about to YELL something like, "Get outta HERE!" (that would've been a History-making moment!) But, then we recognized a couple of the girls, and one of them confessed, in her sweet, innocent voice, "Oh, dang! We wanted to surprise you! We were almost done." We proceded on into the garage and went inside to leave them alone to finish the "job." ;)
I chuckled at this one when I saw it... They had written ALL of our children's names on the driveway: Ryan, Kyle, Haylee, & Katelyn, but apparently they couldn't remember Brookelle's name, (since EVERYONE always tells me "it's so different") but they included her anyway! :)
Is this the "new" Toilet Papering?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Moment of Truth
It's from the Driver License Division.
Uh Oh...
It's a "Courtesy Driver License Renewal notice."
Apparently, I have reached the MAXIMUM number of years allowed to renew my D. L. by mail.
Oh, no.
THIS YEAR I am required to appear IN PERSON at a D. L. examining office.
And, at minimum, I will have to blah, blah, blah and complete a new application AND have my photo taken (I just skimmed over some things since these are the two that have sent me into a panic!!!)
OH CRAP!

You see, I have managed to avoid this for quite some time. In fact, I have a Driver License that probably looks like no one else's from my state. I just don't have the "OLD" one, I have the "OLD, OLD" design of license...yes - they have changed the look of our State's license TWICE since I've gotten one. And I don't like the new look. PLUS, I have enjoyed living with all the "false" info & photo that is on my current D. L. When I renewed last time, I was seriously 8 months pregnant with Kyle and when I asked, they told me I should not put my current weight on the application (since it was "temporary" - HA! So much they knew.) They told me to write down my "pre-pregnancy" weight or just to leave it the same as my previous license. So, I took their suggestion, of course! I have been driving around with a license that has my weight from when I was 24 yrs. old on it - for the last 15 years!! And, amazingly, considering my great-with-child state I was in, the photo may have been my best D. L. photo of the three that I've ever had - way better than I could produce now, that's for sure!
Now, can you understand WHY I am not embracing this opportunity?!?
I've been trying to formulate a plan in my mind....Is it possible to get back down to my 24-yr. old weight in the next 8 weeks, so I can keep the same number? How about I just don't weigh myself between now & then so I can honestly say, "I don't know my weight." And then on that day that I appear IN PERSON, I'll just "guess" - and by default, I would most likely "guess" the weight that I've gotten used to seeing on my D. L. during the last 15 years. Can I just enter my "happy weight?" Or would that make me unidentifiable? I could just "meet in the middle" (of actual & "happy weight") with my number. Or go more towards the low-middle. Or low-low-middle. Or would 20-30 lbs. under my actual weight be more believable/acceptable? Maybe I'll just put the actual weight, I mean how many people really look at my license anyway? Only the cops, and TSA, and airport crewmembers, and grocery store clerks, and bank tellers, and people who find my lost wallet at the Ball Park, and MY KIDS who snoop around in my stuff...Okay, THEY could be the most damaging witnesses of all...it'd for sure come up in a future Home Teaching visit. Or in school. Or amongst their friends while engaging in a "one up" conversation - it'd give a whole new meaning to the classic My-Mom-is-bigger-than-yours banter! Can't have THAT! How many other people LIE about their weight on their license? Is leaving it blank an option? They don't have a scale there and force you to stand on it, do they? If not, I could literally write down ANY number I wanted, right? But, I'm such a "rule follower." Hmmm...
DOUBLE CRAP!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
What Makes a Cool Parent
Here's how the conversation went down:
Me: "Do you think Dad & I are cool?"
Ryan: "Sure!"
I'm feeling pretty good, now, thinking we don't have the "problem" that our friend has, UNTIL he adds on something more...
Ryan: "BUT, some of my friend's parents are A LOT cooler!"
And then he can't stop - just POURIN' the salt in the wound...
Ryan: "In fact, I'd say in comparison, - they're WAY cooler than YOU!"
I wanted proof.
"Like who?" I demanded.
Like Dane. And Kennedy. And Jared, Russell, & Dathan. And don't forget Lizzy, Tyler, Calvin, & Kat. And for sure Grey, Nate, & Conner.
Hmmmm...
So, just in case you're wondering (as I was) just WHAT makes a parent, "cool" - I got the low-down from Ryan:
- One of his friend's parents once paid Ryan $5.00 just to sit in his chair at a community event (since she didn't have one.) So, if you want to be "cool," parents should give their child(ren) money to get favors/service out of them.
- Treat children like royalty. Think they are ALL THAT. Laugh at everything they ever say. Remind them how brilliant everything they ever do is. Feed their ego. Act like the world revolves around them!
- Become a crazed, infatuated-with-Edward, fanatic and actually READ the Twilight series. And by READ, that means like in ONE day....and READ past the 1st book - as in ALL OF THEM! And then, see the movie a handful of times in the theater...and then, buy the DVD, of course.
- Be available to drive your child everywhere and anywhere at a moment's notice. And you never say, "I can't right now, the baby's asleep."
- Buy them their own cell phone AND pay for the monthly bill (with unlimited minutes, texts, usage.)
- Let them go out every Friday AND Saturday night (or whenever they please) with no limits or babysitting requirements.
- Pay them at least $25/week allowance.
- Allow them to invite all the friends they want to a Birthday Party at Boondocks.
- Always give them "ideas" on how to do their homework (READ "do it for them.")
- Be completely CAREFREE.
- Buy them Lagoon season passes.
- Be in a movie.
- Totally be into computer/tech "stuff."
- Be funny - tell jokes.
- Always have gum on hand to share.
- Be a U of U season ticket holder (with extras so you can always invite a friend!)
- Act young.
- Play football in the hall at church with them.
- Talk to them well past their bedtime (and well into your "alone time") with no enforcement of them needing to go to bed.
- Talk about cool "stuff."
- Have a "cool" employment history, like being a Jailer, a Fireman (in Park City), or a Lawyer.
- Own guns and hunt a lot (and then have "cool" hunting stories.)
- Buy illegal fireworks in Wyoming to use on the 4th of July
- Always ask them if they need $$$, and give it to them.
- Coach all their children's teams.
- Take them to Major League Baseball games all over.
- (For Moms) Go outside & play basketball with them & their friends [and do so skillfully].
- Clean their rooms for them.
- Act Nice
- Don't ground them, scold them, or punish them.
- Let them spend the whole summer "veg"-ing out in the cool, dark basement with all-you-can-watch T.V. privileges, all-you-can-eat snacks, and without doing any work whatsoever.
I told him I'm not trying to be "COOL," I am trying to be his PARENT.

