Kids Say the Darndest Things - Dec. '11 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...


While Katelyn was opening Christmas presents from Santa.....
Everyone: "Woooow!"
Katelyn: "Santa's a NICE GUY!" 12/11


Haylee was talking at the dinner table about a boy named Eli,,,,
Ryan: "Who's Eli?"
Haylee: "My ex-boyfriend."
Me: "Do you even know what an 'ex-boyfriend' is?"
Haylee: "Yesss....it is your old boyfriend, then you broke up and get a new boyfriend."
Kyle: "Do you have a new boyfriend?"
Haylee: "Umm, yes."
Ryan: "And what exactly does a 'boyfriend' mean in 4th Grade?"
Haylee: "When I see him, my brain goes, 'BAH DA BOOOM!" 12/11



Matt: "Did you have a nap today, Brookelle?"
Brookelle: "Yes. In Mommy's bed."
Matt: "What about me? Don't you think it's MY bed?"
Brookelle: "Well, Mommy and Daddy's bed is hooked together!" 12/11


Brookelle has been potty training, so there has been MUCH talk about pee and poop and going in the RIGHT spot. Miss B was using her little potty in the bathroom, and Kyle was having a bathroom emergency of his own - he couldn't wait for the bathroom to become vacant. He just went into that same bathroom and went in the regular toilet - next to Miss B....
Brookelle: (witnessing the whole episode) "That was a GOOD pee, Kyle!" 12/11


We have one sink in our master bathroom that has some plumbing problems, so we turned it off completely. Miss B wanted to wash her hands there....
Me: "That one doesn't work, you can't use it."
Brookelle: "It doesn't work?"
Me: "Nope."
Brookelle: "Let me see."
So I turned the faucet handle and showed her that no water came out...
Brookelle: "Oh, It needs new batteries." 12/11


Our family was getting on an elevator, but some were SLOW and the door was starting to shut.....
Brookelle: "HURRY! Get in the alligator!" 12/11


I showed Miss B a few of Matt's photos from his teen years.....
Me: "Brookelle, who's this?"
Brookelle: (looking hard....but silent....no recognition shows on her face....can't come up with an answer)
Me: "It's Dad!"
Brookelle: "I don't like THAT Dad!" 12/11


Brookelle walked into the bathroom when I had a tampon in my hand....Brookelle: "What's that for?"
Me: (Silence)
Brookelle: "Is that for wiping your bum?"
Me: "Something like that."
But not wanting her to mess around with them, I decided to give a warning....
Me: "They're not for little kids."
Brookelle: "Ohhh, they're for wiping MOM'S bums only, right Mom?"
Me: "That's right." 12/11

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

From our Family to Yours.....

Since Christmas was on a Sunday this year, we went to church as part of our Christmas Day festivities. It only seems appropriate since CHRIST IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.

I had actually wondered if we would have a very full congregation since it would be hard for people to start, then stop the gift opening on Christmas morning to get ready and go to church. But, I walked into the chapel and it was packed with people - fuller than normal - with lots of visiting family & friends! That made me so happy right from the beginning!

AND THEN.....for the opening hymn, "JOY TO THE WORLD" had been chosen. Instead of just the organ for accompaniment as we normally have in church, another sister joined in on the piano for a duet, playing a different arrangement than is in the regular hymnal. YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THE FIRST NOTES OF THE INTRODUCTION!!! It was so lively, robust, energetic, dynamic.....POWERFUL!!! Immediately, the Spirit of the Holy Ghost surged through my body and my eyes teared up. I doubted I'd be able to even sing when the Chorister directed us to start. But, YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THE VOLUME THAT CAME FROM THE CONGREGATION!!! EVERYONE (and then some!) must've been singing in their fullest, most impressive voices. I'd never heard (& felt) the music just enveloping me like that in our chapel. (It gave new meaning to "Angels We Have Heard on High!") It was the most exciting and fitting way to begin our Christmas Day church services.


P.S. I can't turn off the italics for this post! (???)

An Early Christmas Gift to Me

She did it!

BYE-BYE DIAPERS. HELLLOOOO PANTIES!

She already lost her Squinkies!

High School Flashback

Yesterday we were given four [FREE] tickets to last night's Christmas Concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square. With actress Jane Seymour and opera star Nathan Gunn as guest performers.

SCORE!

An instant [FREE] date. To an amazing event. Right?!?

AND since we had 4 tickets, we could invite another couple to double date with us!

GREAT!

Well, we asked some friends to go with us, and they declined. It was their goldfish's birthday.

So, we invited some other friends. They couldn't. That was the night they were reorganizing their rock collection.

And then we proceeded to invite EIGHT other friends also.

And NONE of them could go!

Yep! We invited 10 different couples in all to go with us...and ALL of them turned us down!

Because.....

They were watching the grass grow.
They had to wash their hair.
They had to check the freshness dates on their dairy products.
They had to take out the trash.
They had some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
None of their socks matched.
There are important world issues that needed worrying about.
and
Their favorite commercial was on T.V.

Man....rejected 10 times in one day! Should this send us (me) spiraling down into High School insecurities land again?
We must be so VERY unpopular!
{But, my teenage son has been trying to tell us that for years!} ;)

But, I'm telling you....THEY MISSED OUT!!!

There was fake snow that fell, flashing lights, prancing reindeer being spotlighted on the floor, mood lighting, the story of Good King Winceslas being told in the lovely British accent of Jane Seymour, three costume changes by Jane (I feel like we're on a first name basis now!), the most delightful song arrangement of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" sung by Mr. Gunn complete with "hoof" and other sound effects made by the percussion section, snow-smocked Christmas trees, castle backdrops, dancers, multi-colored techno light show that blinked to the beat/swells of the music, etc. All followed by a standing ovation that lasted more than 5 minutes. The guest stars left the stage and came back on again when the clapping did not cease!!

It had the power to cause me to forget (at least for the hour and a half duration of the show) my friend brush-off woes! :)

Matt, the eternal optimist, says it MAY have had more to do with the fact that it was last minute and that they already had plans, i.e. parties, celebrations, events, games, had tickets to the concert for another day, etc. :)

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Colder Weather = Exercise Conundrum

Because WHO wants to go run/walk when it's a WHOPPING 16 degrees outside? Not me.
In my driving around town lately, I passed a fitness gym, and on their marquee it read,
"The average person gains 10 pounds between Halloween and New Year's."
{yikes!}

And since I don't belong to a Gym....
And Jack Frost has made himself known....

Does this count?
JUST DANCE on the Wii
I'm saying it does.
Because that's what we've been doing.
And for the record...."Eye of the Tiger" is MY SONG....as visions of ROCKY dance through my head -- no one can beat my at that!

Uh oh...not a good sign when both competitors are NOT doing the same dance move....one must be getting a "GREAT" while they other is getting an "X"

Dancing or imitating gorillas?

It must count because it sure works up a heart rate!
Afterwards, I'm wet with SWEAT!

And from tears of laughter!

And from peeing my pants!

Hahahaha! :)

TMI?

Capitalizing on the Misfortunes of Others

We must've had a HUGE windstorm RIP through these parts last week....

Because my front door has been covered with these fliers ever since! :)
And our neighborhoods are being dotted with election candidate-type signs stuck in the grass on every corner from other "concerned" companies.

(Their "marketing strategy" has worked - I've personally called several of them for a bid!)

Our damage?

• Tons of shingles - GONE! In fact, our home was getting pummeled by the shingles flying off our neighbors' to the east.

• Siding ripped off the side of our home - or disfigured if it managed to stay on.

• A cracked window. It happens to be the Master Bedroom window - and our bed is right beneath it. As I lay there in the middle of the night AWAKE because of the HOWLINGS & WHOOSHINGS of the wind, I had visions of the window crashing in on my head/face.

• A broken deck (it was swaying in the wind!)

This type of thing does WONDERS for trying to sell a home, I'm sure! ;)

Before and After

My husband has had a HUGE BEEF about my oldest son's hair lately. And, uncharacteristic for Matt, he hasn't been quiet about it, either! Any chance he could, he'd "trash talk" his hair. Often while sitting in church as a family, I'd notice Matt's gaze going down our pew. I'd follow that gaze of his and find it resting on his firstborn son, and THEN when he caught the eye of Ryan, he'd just shake his head and accompany it with his best disapproving look. To which, Ryan would respond by taking a comb out of his pocket and, dramatically, with a sweeping motion, combing his mane into the perfect, feathered look again [with a smirk on his face.] For Ryan, it seemed to be a great source of joy to irritate his dad in this way! ;)

Have I piqued your curiosity yet about this unruly, intolerable hairdo, that is the cause of such great disgust with his father, that Ryan is sporting as of late?

Here's a sneak peak.

Right out of the 70's: The "butthead" part with the feathered back look,
going past the ears AND the collar.

Oh, here, I think this is where he found his "inspiration."

Right out of The Partridge Family!

To me, as his Mom, I don't even think it's that bad -- so, I don't even worry about it. It's ONLY hair! There are definitely much greater battles worth fighting than HAIR! And because of that, Ryan didn't even put forth the effort to perform his sleek, hair styling show with me if I was his only audience. He DID find great amusement when, he had put some hair elastics in his longest tresses to make some tiny ponytails, and when Miss B saw him, she declared loudly, "Ryan, YOU A GIRL!!!"

Matt would continually ask him WHEN he was going to get his hair cut. A while back, Ryan came up with the date of November 18th for some reason, (in celebration and/or respect for reading the entire Book of Mormon in a weekend? Or was it because the SportClips [his favorite place to get a haircut] coupon expired that day?) So Matt eagerly awaiting that date. Well, 11/18/11 came and went and NO hair cut....you see, Ryan had a new reason for not cutting it now. At some unknown date in the future, for his Drama class at school, he has to do a performance depicting Flynn Ryder, from the movie, "Tangled" and he claims he "needs" THE HAIR to help him "get into character." (He does have a good point - he must also be taking a Debate class! Sounds good to me!)

But, to Matt, he can't see the reasoning at all! Which is why Ryan loves to talk about this impending performance with the ever elusive date, that Ryan just can't quite "recall", so his Dad can squirm and let his hair-hating attitude fester within him! (Gotta love teenagers! :))

The thing that puzzles me so much about Matt's reaction to THE HAIR is that HE has NO ROOM TO TALK!!!! I mean, in HIS youth, he had THE WORST HAIR EVER! It was really bad. We're talkin' it was so bad, that IF I would've have known him then....we would not be married now! (Because I would've written him off so fast.....)

Have I piqued your curiosity about Matt's unruly, intolerable hairdo of his past?

Here's a sneak peak:

Do you need another look?

And another?

Now tell me....does the word, "hypocrite" come to anyone's mind?!?
This sums it up: when Miss B sees these pictures of Matt (and I HAVE TO inform her it is her Dad because she doesn't even know) she says, "I don't like that Dad!"

Sooooo......THE HAIR banter has been going back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

One day, we got an idea! Recently, my son and I went on a little "outing."

This is what he looked like when we left our home. (the "Before")

....And this is what he looked like when he came back (the "After"):

And when Matt first laid eyes on him, Ryan said, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, DAD!"

(and he was greatly pleased)

(Way to show me up in the Christmas present department. My gift to Matt will surely pale in comparison!)

Potty Boot Camp

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
Miss B is officially 3 1/2 years old.
And NOT Potty Trained.

This is so significant because 3 1/2 was the exact age that her brother, WHO WAS THE S-L-O-W-E-S-T [and most stubborn] POTTY TRAINEE IN THE WORLD, got potty trained!! I've been trying to explain to her how embarrassing that will be for her to have Ryan beat her in this area....because his timing was soooo UNimpressive! The risk of humiliation and "LOSING" to her brother doesn't even phase her!

I've taken it upon myself to make it happen TODAY! And if we don't succeed, Tuesday. And if we don't succeed, Wednesday. And if we don't succeed, Thursday. You get the idea. I've dedicated this week to the cause!

THE TOOLS

THE BRIBES

THE PARTICIPANT

She is THRILLED! She really is!

We're just 45 minutes into this - and we've already got casualties - two pair of panties with pee and/or poop in them!

Ooooohh - as much as I was prepared with ammo for HER, I was unprepared for me - I didn't think about me! THIS is the day I need a good supply of Diet Dr. Pepper on hand, and we have NO DDP in the house! (And I'm not leaving lest we miss the 30 minute potty watch alarm and are caught away from the potty!) Wouldn't ya know it.

Wish me luck!
Now watch, someone will wanna come look at the house.....Aauugh!

Realize the Promise

We just had our Young Women/Young Men Culminating Event this weekend,

"Realize the Promise."

Our YM/YW quorum and class presidencies came up with the idea to read the ENTIRE Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, in a single weekend.

Yes, the quest was to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover.

Every single page.

As in ALL 531 pages.

We had more than one person tell us we were CRAZY! (and that they'd never want to do that!)

And we, as their leaders, supported and admired them in this desire. It was a sacrifice for everyone to be there. Ryan told me that their Sunday School teacher had them talk about each of their sacrifices: a whole Saturday of College football, swing club, time spent with the girl of one young man's dreams, hanging out with friends, sleeping in, playing video games, a date, etc. Ryan, personally, gave up a High School Debate tournament, which will [negatively] affect his grade - unless he can put to use those debate skills he's learning and persuade his non-LDS teacher that she should have compassion on him.

So we planned and fed them all their meals and snacks while they were there. We planned to go from 4:00 – 10:00 p.m. on Friday and from 7:00 a.m. – 9:00 p.m. on Saturday (but we actually didn't end until about 10:30 p.m. on Sat.) and then concluding with the very last chapter, Moroni 10, in our combined class at church on Sunday (we ended up having to read eight chapters in Moroni at church.) but it's still good to have a plan.

Everyone came full of excitement to read!

The level of excitement waned in direct proportion to the amount of time we were at it. With bits of revival and rejuvenation sprinkled in there when people put forth their best effort and commitment because then truths were learned and the Holy Spirit was felt. This was definitely an, "I Can Do Hard Things" test.
After all, this event involved 21 hours of reading!! (we listened to it on CD, too.)

Truth be told, this kind of event, at times brought boredom...

....the glazed-over look.....

....an inability to withstand sleeping...

...overeating....

...and leaders confessing, "I can't take it anymore!"
(Uh, Jennifer, wrong book - that's a BIBLE you have open there! :))

We had 11 Young Women attend "Realize the Promise" and a couple dozen young men. (Good odds for our YW, eh? :)) Allow me to just give a "shout out" to our girls...

Sammy

Alana
(I teased her that every time I took her picture, she was with another boy!) :)

Sidney (on the right)

Elizabeth

Brittany

Jordan

Bree

Marissa

Olivia

Ashlyn

Samantha

AND because this is MY blog, and I was the one with the camera, my own sons are gonna get a good share of "PUB" now...

Captain Crunch....because a few pieces of French Toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns, fruit, orange juice, chocolate milk, and milk was just not enough for breakfast?!???

Look at that multi-tasking....physical + spiritual workout!

Ryan, reliving his "Samuel the Lamanite" part he played at the reenactment of the Book of Mormon at our Youth Conference 1 1/2 years ago.

Kyle - he pays attention, that boy! He noticed that the dates in the footnotes don't always follow in chronological order, and raised the question, which led to an explanation from the YM President. Such a proud mama to know he was into it! AND he was OK with me sitting by him for some of the time. :)

He started drawing (free hand, not tracing) the people he was reading about in Book of Mormon.

Moroni, raising the Title of Liberty

Ammon, ready to fight off the thieves

One of the Stripling Warriors.
I think he's got TALENT!

And so the hours went on....

This young man averted my camera whenever I came around! He hid behind his book or hands, he turned his head or body away from me...and then FINALLY, I got a picture (and caught him cleaning out his teeth with his fingers - SEE, he should've just let me take a normal photo!) :)

...Until, we had finished the whole Book of Mormon!!!

We gave the youth the opportunity to bear their testimony in church afterwards. For many, this was the very first time they had ever read the whole Book of Mormon. What a great start for them to build on the rest of their lives. Some simple just stated that they were glad they went. Others declared that they thought it was "cool" or "fun" or "good." How exciting that even the smallest testimony is being nurtured! Most of them admitted that when they were listening, or when they were following along, or when they were quiet, or when they weren't goofing off, or when they were fully engaged and trying, they felt the Spirit! Most also wished they had done better. Imagine that - what a novel concept!! :) It's so true, you get out of it, what you put into it!

Ryan was the first one to stand, and got me tearing up right from the get-go. He said that this time reading The Book of Mormon he was enlightened the most, he marked the most scriptures and testified that the truths found inside are a "Guide Book" for our lives and he is so thankful he can rely on it in his life.

This sweet girl shared that she was so touched by the many people in The Book of Mormon who sacrificed so much, even their lives, in defending the gospel and standing up for the church. (i.e. Abinadi and Moroni, "And I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ...") because IT IS TRUE!

Don't let his tough look fool ya....this Young Man shared the strong impact reading about the Savior's visit to the Americas had on him. During that part, we actually had the lights turned off, and we just listened to the words of Jesus Christ. This Young Man said that he felt as though he was really there with Christ, and he FELT that he was really important to Jesus! He testified, fighting through emotion, that he KNEW Jesus loved him and that Jesus loved all of us, too!


This Young Woman taught us so well during the testimony meeting. Before we started reading the last third of Alma, our Young Men's President had asked the youth to think about WHY about 20 chapters in The Book of Mormon was all about war and battles - what did it all have to do with us? She stood up in the testimony meeting and told us that she had realized that, in The Book of Mormon, when the people relied on the Lord and were humble and righteous, they had success in their battles. Likewise, she testified, that WE have our own battles in life, and if we have faith and rely on the Lord, she knows WE will be strengthened and successful in overcoming them.

Wow.

As I am writing this, tears run down my cheeks remembering the strength and truth that came from their words.

I told the girls who were sitting by me that they might feel like they're on "B of M overload" and want to take a "break" on Monday, BUT I advised them they're already on a 3-day streak! If they read Monday, they'll be on a 4-day streak, Tuesday makes it 5 days, etc. etc. Which is a better streak than they may have experience before - and that is AWESOME - so don't quit! :)

Here's the one and only picture of me - it's proof that I was there, too!

The Book of Mormon I have now is quite new. It became necessary to get another one after my toddler daughter ripped out page after page after page when I wasn't looking a while back. She had a grand time!! ;) I have had about four different B of M's through the years, before they get too worn out to use anymore. I still remember my first B of M as a child was a BIG blue one with large print - with my eyesight like it is now, it might be a good idea to go back to that type! :) It's kind of hard to get new scriptures because I get used to where I have marked everything and written notes and I rely on them to understand....but I think it also makes me stretch, and read with "new eyes" and find new insights without using my past markings as a "crutch."

With this experience, I was able to mark my scriptures with many things that the Lord was teaching me through the Holy Ghost:

• I know the Lord will make things known to me if I believe in Him and keep the commandments (1 Nephi 15:11)

• Keeping the commandments means ALL of them - and ALWAYS (1 Nephi 15:25)

• I know that the Coming Unto the Lord = Happiness (2 Nephi 9:43)

• The Lord delivers His people time and time again (Mosiah 11:26) and I know the Lord has power to deliver ME from whatever problem/challenge I have.

• Believing should lead to ACTION. (Alma's example in Mosiah 17 & 18)

• My own slothfulness hurts my progression... and my children... and generations after me - I should never be weary of good works (Alma 37: 33 and 41)

• Forget myself and go to work. Be Fearless! (Helaman 10:4)

• Christ can HEAL me [from sin, emotionally, physically, psychologically] - and everyone. (3 Nephi 17: 7-9)

• NO contention is a good goal - I want this in my home! This begins with me. (4 Nephi 1)

• The word of God and his Gospel is not the way of the world - it is a MORE EXCELLENT way, prepared lovingly for ME...and you! (Ether 12:11)

• All GOOD things come from God and Jesus Christ (Moroni 7:12)

(just to name a few ~ there are many more!)

....and the way I spent my weekend was definitely GOOD. It was exactly what my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would have wanted all of us there to be doing. Who cares what all the "naysayers" said or thought!

This quote sums it up:
"We find that sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven. And in the end we learn it was no sacrifice at all." Spencer W. Kimball