Things I've Heard on the Job: #3

It's time for another installment in the continuing Saga of "On the Phones at JetBlue" for your reading pleasures (actually more for my own memory/record.)

* Right in the middle of a phone conversation I was having with a customer....
Customer: "SHUT UP!"
Me: (pause. silence. pause.)
Customer: "My husband is being obnoxious! Go on..."

* Customer: I need you to look up my reservation.
Me: Sure. May I have your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: I don't know it, just look it up with my name!"
Me: I will need a confirmation number or a credit card number to locate your reservation."
Customer: Why can't you pull up my reservation with just my name? Every other agent has been able to do it for me."
Me: (thinking) That is so NOT true! (but actually said) "I'm not sure how that happened before. For YOUR safety and privacy we're unable to release any of the information on your itinerary without one of these numbers."
Customer: "Unbelievable!...here it is....'R' as in RETARDED...."
(I guess there's no question how he felt about ME!) :)

* Customer: "Oh, I need your help."
Me: "Hhh....." (cut off)
Customer: "I've got to get my grandson back home. But, my Ex-Daughter-in-Law has NO HEART! None! You just can't even believe this lady."
Me: "Oooo...." (cut off)
Customer: "My grandson's dad died and then his puppy died, too. His Grandpa who practically raised him is about to die. And she won't let him cut his visit short with her to come back. He needs to be with his Grandpa one last time - they have a good relationship even though I'm not married to him anymore!"
Me: "Mmm..." (cut off)
Customer: "I'm thinking about my grandson, but that Ex-Daughter-in-Law, I'm telling you - she has NO HEART! You see, his dad 'O. D.ed' and suddenly died and she won't pay to change his flight even though it was her turn to pay for this visits' expenses."
Me: "Bbb..." (cut off)
Customer: "We'd drive down to get him, but the car won't even make it to San Juan. Oh, all this makes us sound like a bum!"
Me: "Lll..." (cut off)
Customer: "Well, I know that there is a price to change flights, but SHE [her voice laced with disdain] won't do anything about it! Oh, my grandson just needs to come back. Well, thanks for giving me 'YOUR EAR,' I better let you go now. Good Bye."
Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue."
(Those darn Daughter-in-Laws!) ;)

* Me: "As far as seating goes, would you like aisle or window, if available?"
Customer: "I don't care, just as long as it's on the INSIDE of the plane!"

Me: "You bet! I can do that." :)


* After giving my customer a price quote for the flight she told me she wanted to book (On a trip for just her)....
Me: "Would you like me to go ahead and make your reservations for you at this time?"
Customer: "Oh, I don't have any money right now. I need to wait for Child Support money. But, I just got my bar tending job back, in Manhattan, so I can make phenomenal money! Can you book it for me "until everything comes through" for me?"
Me: "Actually, the only way to confirm a flight and lock in the fare is to purchase it."
Customer: "OK, I guess I'll have to call back [with doubt in her voice]....later...sometime...maybe."
(You've heard the saying, "There's no such thing as a free lunch" right? Well, there isn't a free airline flight, either.) :)

Size DOES Matter

I'm so delighted with a new purchase we just made.
Bathroom towels.
And not just any bathroom towels...
Thick, cushy, big-enough-to-cover-your-whole-body-when-you-wrap-it-around-you bathroom towels.
(Anyone else have experience with trying to "wrap" a towel around, and everything from the armpits down is exposed in the front? "Around," to me, means all the way around, not just the back side!)

Just look at the difference from where we came to now!

I will say that I'd bought our previous towels from a catalog and had no idea what they were really like until they arrived.
Such a disappointment. Look how FLAT that towel is! Pathetic is what it is! Completely UN-inviting, UN-exciting, UN-comforting. VOID of any I-can't-wait-to-take-a-shower provoking feelings AT ALL!
All bathroom towels are NOT created equal! I guess the term, "Bath Towel" is vague, with A LOT of room for variation!
Definitely something that must be purchased in person...so it can be seen, touch, and tried on for size!
But, we went about using them for a while -- too long -- until we got around to buying some replacements.
The new ones.....Oh, they feel so good. It's so noticeable! (It should be since it's 4X the size!) So soft - reminds me of a comforter, or thick cotton padding, or a luxury resort spa at home, or a pillow top.

A "pillow top" bathroom towel -- who knew?!?

I'm in "Bathroom Towel Heaven" when I step out of the shower now.

And it completely covers me! BONUS!

There's no going back now for me.

******

What "indulgence" (life's simple pleasures) is so worth it to you, that you insist on having it?

Games People Play

My son, Ryan, had a birthday party a couple of weeks ago at our home and I "led" them in several games. One of which was the "I have never..." game. Do you know what I'm talking about? I actually played this at a party at my house as a teen.
The point of the game was to:
a) get to know each other better, on a more interesting level
and
b) to win the most Starburst. (since that's one of the important things in life!)
The way you won Starburst was to come up with something unique (that was TRUE) that you had never done before and reveal it to everyone - because anyone else in the group that HAD done that was required to throw in one of their [pre-distributed] Starburst in response to your confession. Thus, causing the pile of Starburst to get increasingly larger as the game went on.
IF a player ever said something that caused EVERYONE to throw in a Starburst (meaning he/she was the ONLY one who hadn't done that particular thing), he/she got the entire pile of Starburst that had accumulated.
Some of the kids were having a hard time coming up with things they had never done. Are they THAT experienced? Have they already done it all? Or were the "creative juices" just not flowing? (A case of not-being-able-to-think-in-front-of-the-opposite-sex?)

Anyway, it got me thinking. Was it really that hard - even at my age? Would I be able to come up with things to say? So, I started brainstorming. As it turns out, there's a lot I could say.

Like....

I have never drank [or swallowed] alcohol

I have never smoked [or inhaled]

I have never worn fake fingernails put on at a salon

I have never been to Europe

I have never been to Africa

I have never been to Australia

I have never been to South America

I have never been to Antarctica

I have never sky dived

I have never scuba dived

I have never done facebook

I have never been arrested

I have never bought REALLY expensive clothes (like over $60)

I have never bungee jumped

I have never had a mole removed

I have never been transported in an ambulance

I have never been a Girl Scout

I have never seen ALL of the Star Wars movies (only the very 1st)

I have never flown in a helicopter

I have never been fired from a job

I have never gone hunting

I have never had (or been summoned for) jury duty

I have never been tall & skinny (although I was short & skinny before)

I have never owned a video game system (Nintendo, PS, XBOX, Wii, etc.)

I have never had braces

I have never read any of the Harry Potter books (or seen the movies)

I have never ridden in a limo

I have never gone on a hot air balloon ride

I have never been to a professional football game (NFL)

I have never had pnuemonia

I have never been in a cast

I have never eaten [or tasted] Chili's restaurant Molten Chocolate Cake (BTW: 1070 Calories, 51 g. Fat, 143 g. Carbs, and 25 Weight Watchers POINTS) You're Welcome to all who've partaken!

I have never bought [or taken] a home pregnancy test (I always just KNEW!)

I have never been a contestant on a [T.V.] Game Show

I have never snowboarded

I have never eaten many kinds of fish; like Mahi Mahi, Tilapia, Orange Roughy, Bass, Cat fish, crappie (it's called THAT for a reason, right?!?)

I have never taken ballet lessons

I have never had a [real] tattoo

I have never owned a La-Z-Boy recliner (or equivilent piece of furniture)

I have never been able to whistle

....or wink

I have never had the top of my ear pierced (in the cartlidge area)

I have never liked bananas

I have never had a newborn baby sleep through the night during his/her first 2 months of life. (like so many of YOU lucky ducks!)

I have never had a Master's Degree

I have never had a pet (my siblings did, but NOT me)

I have never seen more than a couple minutes of Dancing with the Stars/American Idol/Amazing Race/The Bachelor(ette)/The Apprentice/Big Brother/Project Runway/Fear Factor

I have never had a REALLY big T.V. (like >36") (Maybe that explains the above)

I have never had "Road Rage"

I have never worked at a Fast Food joint

I have never attended BYU (a rarity in these parts!)

I have never been pooped on by a seagull


So, go ahead, everyone....throw in your VIRTUAL Starburst in response to my statements (and let me know which ones I got you on!) (Did you hear me say, "Everyone?")

So, do you think I have a deprived life, now? :) BUT, all that could change. I DO have a BIG Birthday coming up this year...like even BIGGER than the last BIG Birthday I had 10 years ago!! (the one that traumatized me enough to run a marathon just to prove I wasn't old.) Anyway, don't ya think that this post includes some great hints of ways to celebrate THIS milestone - that any smart husband would pick up on, and do something with them?!? Just an observation... ;)

Back to my son's party...the statement that took the CAKE Starbursts was one I still can't believe:

"I have never been to St. George."
said one boy.
Talk about a deprived life!! ;)

(Except for the fact that he now has a lifetime supply of Starburst!)

A Word to the Wise

When reaching into the bathroom drawer.....

In preparation to do this....


Make sure you grab this....

And NOT this....


(I need more sleep!)

Is THIS why I get cavaties so easily? ;)

Food Glorious Food

My Grandma on my mom's side was such a good cook!
Whenever she had us over for dinner, it was TOP NOTCH. Mmmmm, Mmmmm!!
I learned to eat lamb with mint jelly as a child at some of those dinners at her home. (I don't think my kids would touch that with a 10 foot pole.)
Even when Grandma made me Campbell's Curly Noodle Soup for a "late night snack," it tasted so good! I've bought that soup in stores as an adult and made it and it's just not as good. Did Campbell's change the recipe from when I was a child - or was it just Grandma's touch?
And her baking was just as good!
She put on luncheons for her friends and church functions all the time, too, since she was "the sure thing" when it came to cooking.
And this carried over into my mom.
I'd even go as far to say there is some "Food Snobbery" in the genes! ;) Only high-quality, delicious food will do.
I remember, as a child, saying to my mom once, "I know why you're such a good cook, it's because Grandma is, and she passed it on to you, so I wonder if that means I'll grow up to be a good cook!?"

*Now, I should make it clear that there were some things my mom made for dinner that were pure torture to eat! She was (in)famous for the "Clean-out-the-fridge-casserole" which was down-right scary! I remember one time I did not finish my [gross] dinner, so I got it the next morning for breakfast. At which time, I did not eat it all either (how stubborn of me) - and it greeted me on my dinner plate that night for the evening meal, as well (how stubborn of mom.) Repeat, repeat. Thank goodness for school lunch in the middle of all that to offer me a "break." I remember begging my mom to PLEASE never, never make that particular meal again - EVER! I eventually did consume it all (with some snuck into the napkin, garbage, the underneath crevices of the table and "accidentally" dropped on the floor) and got to return to the regularly scheduled meal the rest of the family was eating. The "Good Cook Mom" I'm talking about is when she made "real" food, the first time around, and especially on Sundays, Birthdays, & Special Occasions.*

Would I inherit these traits? Would I continue the line of good cooks? Truth be told, I didn't really start [real] cooking until I got married - I held the position of "Prep Chef" all those years prior. And let's face it, with cooks like Grandma & Mom around, why would I?! But I received a nice collection of recipe books of my own as wedding gifts.

Now, I did plenty of baking growing up. (There's a difference - baking & cooking - did you know that?) I was more than glad to bake in a home that was entirely VOID of any junk food or sweets altogether! I also worked in a Bakery at a resort between my Freshman & Sophomore years in College. So, baking? I had that down.

So, armed with my cookbook arsenal as a newlywed, I looked through every page of them and started to write down the ones that looked good and I wanted to try. And that's what we ate the first year of our marriage - a different recipe each night from all those books. And my husband LOVES to eat food - and a lot of it - and so it made cooking rather enjoyable! But, I never, never threw together teriyaki chicken, marinara sauce w/ pasta, green peppers, peas, eggs, & brown gravy from the past week into a pot together and served up THAT! :P
And thus started my fascination with recipes. My quest for finding new and interesting (& delicious) ones. I would jot down "ratings" in the cookbooks next to the recipes as to how good it was - and unless it got the highest rating, it wasn't going to show up on our dinner table again! Because, after all, "there's other fish in the sea!" I mean, "recipes in the books/Internet/friends & family's collection!"

Whenever I've been at a shower or a party or a church activity and had something that was really good, I track down the person who made it and get the recipe.
Because of this, I don't make the same things too often. Like once every 6 months. I like variety - and the mediocre ones don't get repeated, remember? ;) That's my mantra: "Don't eat mediocre food."

I like to think that some of Grandma & Mom are coming out in me now.
(Including the "Food Snob" part.)
I remember my very first Thanksgiving being married, we went to Matt's side for dinner. And they served Instant Mashed Potatoes! For Thanksgiving. I mean, this wasn't a haven't-been-home-all-day-and-the-baby's-sick-and-I-gotta-get-dinner-on-in-fifteen-minutes-before-everyone-has-to-run-off-somewhere-else-regular-boring-Tuesday. This was Thanksgiving. My Grandma probably rolled over in her grave!! I. WAS. TRAUMATIZED. And, of course, I commented, which I shouldn't have. It's just that I'd never seen - or expected - THAT! And if you thought I was shocked, you can only imagine what my new sister-in-law was going through, who happens to be from IDAHO where they worship the potato, and was also experiencing Thanksgiving on that side of the family for the first time! ;) They have since mostly changed to REAL mashed potatoes (for our benefit) and we thank them!
So, back to me becoming a cook....
TODAY, I'm going to do something I've never done on my blog before. (Since this is NOT a food blog.)
I'm going to share a recipe.
Because, it's just too good not to. This is what we had for dinner tonight and there were quite a few "Mmmmm's" going around. I think this earned 4 stars out of my 3 stars possible rating system! And it made me giddy.
I found it on the Internet, and just from the title, I was hooked. And I was salivating. I did change it just slightly to fit with what I could find at the store [for a good price] and what I had on hand.

Shrimp Enchiladas

1/2 cup sweet red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup onion, minced
1/2 cup green pepper, chopped
1/4 cup butter
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3/4 cup Half & Half
1 Tablespoon flour
2-3 cups Mexican-Blend Cheese (I get this at Costco in a big bag)
1/2 cup sour cream
2 Tablespoons butter
1 to 1 1/2 pounds cooked, tail off Shrimp (also at Costco)
1/2 cup onion, chopped
2 cups tomatoes, chopped
8 (9-inch) flour tortillas

Saute red pepper, onion and green pepper in 1/4 cup butter until crisp-tender. Add oregano, salt, garlic powder, pepper, cayenne pepper, Half & Half and flour; blend well. Continue cooking for 3 minutes or until slightly thickened. Add 1 1/2 cups cheese; stir until melted. Add sour cream, stir to blend. Set aside.
In another skillet, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Saute 1/2 cup onion. Chop shrimp; add to butter and onion. Add chopped tomatoes and 1/2 of the cheese sauce. Divide & spoon shrimp mixture evenly into each tortilla. Sprinkle cheese on top of shrimp mixture. Roll up tightly. Arrange seam side down in a 9X13-inch glass baking dish. Spoon remaining cheese sauce over tortillas and sprinkle with remaining cheese.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes.

And I'm gonna have to fight Matt for the leftovers tomorrow for lunch!

**Jill & Jennifer, I know you're both probably barfing over this recipe, since the only ingredients you'll consider eating are the salt, black pepper and flour tortillas, so just go ahead and disregard this post! And just know that your pickiness with food is seriously interfering with your ability to enjoy life to the fullest!! :)**


Up next to try this week:
Chicken with Mushrooms and Zucchini
Brown Sugar Spiced Pork Loin
Pot Roast
Overnight Breakfast Casserole
Sausage and Spinach Penne Skillet Supper
Cheesy Ham and Broccoli Crescent Braid
Healthy and Hearty Chicken Quinoa Stew
Caramel Popcorn (with a *secret* ingredient)

My Celebrity Look-a-like

I got told the other day that I reminded someone of Bonnie Hunt.

She didn't know if it was my looks or my personality/mannerisms.

Either way -- I was flattered!

I loved Bonnie Hunt in Beethoven. (Oh, but that SURE seals the deal on me never wanting a dog!)

I loved her in Return to Me. (Which reminds me - I think I'm in the mood to watch that again!)

I loved her in Cheaper by the Dozen. (I could really take some "Mom" lessons from her. She did not have my problem, and she had twice [at least] as many reasons to YELL! Instead, she'd calmly say things like, "I'd really appreciate it if you kids left this house & each other in one piece while I'm gone." For some reason, that just doesn't work at my home.)

And she also has a pretty good Talk Show on T.V. right now! (Too bad I don't catch it enough.)

Anyway, I'd never been told that before. I wondered if the resemblance was really there.
I wanted to see just how true it was. I remembered a website that will scan your face and then bring up some different celebrities that you look like. I wondered if I did it, would Bonnie Hunt come up as a match?

So I did it.

No match.

Instead....

#1 Look-a-Like: Britney Spears (78%) One word: YUCK!

#2: Charlotte Church (72%) She's a Welsh singer/songwriter/actress/television presenter. It must've been the chubby cheeks that got me the "high score" with her. :)

#3: Gareth Gates (71%) A guy? I look like a guy? Whom I don't even know. (He's an English Singer, appearing in Les Miserables right now on the International 25th Anniversary World Tour)

#4: Sania Mirza (66%) She's an Indian tennis player. Interestingly enough, we always say my daughters turn into "Indians" in the summer (they get SO tan) - I've been asked by others what nationality their father is, but it turns out, those tendencies come from me!

#5: Alizee (66%) A French Singer. With just a one-word name. The "Madonna" of France?

#6: Emma Watson (64%) You'll die when I say I didn't know who she was...so I looked her up. Turns out she's a British actress who just happens to play one of the starring roles, Hermione, in the Harry Potter movies - and has earned more than 10 million pound sterling doing it!

#7: Geena Davis (64%) I'll try not to let the fact that she's 14 years older than I am bother me! The fact that she's an American actress (1 of the 2 celebs from this list I even knew), a former fashion model AND a women's Olympics archery team semi-finalist should cancel out the age issue, right?!? ;)

#8: Dannii Minogue (63%) She's an Australian singer/actress.

And guess who #9 was? (But not pictured in the above 8-photo maximum collage)

Charles Barkley. At a 63% resemblance factor. What? I'm a 47 year old Black man? Did it have more to do with his agressive and outspoken demeanor, who was frequently involved in on- and off- the court fights and sometimes stirred national controversy? Or is it all about his nickname, "The Round Mound of Rebound" for his "unusual build?"

Anyway...I'm not so sure this was a confidence boost - although 7 of the top 8 are younger than I am, all born between 1971 - 1990! Yea! (Or is it my full face that hides any wrinkles - and age?)

But, what about me and Bonnie?

To My Neighbors, Laura and Heidi

Hello, my name is Suzanne, and I am a yeller.

(Is that even a real word?)

There. I said it.

It's out in the open now.

I know you've heard me.

And I am sorry.

My husband asks if this doesn't embarrass me (as if that will motivate me to stop.)

Yes, it does.

You no longer have to pretend like you don't know.

Or walk by sheepishly when you've "caught" me.

Or skittishly dance around the subject when you're talking to me.

We're getting rid of the "elephant in the room" right this moment!

I know I have a yelling problem.

My husband and kids have repeatedly told me as much.

But, I already knew even without their "observations."

Do you know how many times I have read Proverbs 15:1? "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (a ton)

I've marked that scripture, and re-marked that scripture, and re-marked it again and again. I've done it with every color of scripture highlighter pencils I own.

My kids have asked me why I always yell.

The truth is, I don't always yell. (shocker for you?)

The first THREE (or 10) TIMES I said it to them, I was speaking in a normal voice. (which my husband thinks is still louder than "normal.")

But, with NO response. NONE. NADA. Nothing happens.

And, then I fall back into my ol' standby method -- I yell. (cringe)

And, boy, do they hear me then! They [finally] kick it into action...and then ask my why I always yell.

I'm just like the dogs in Pavlov's law - but I am a dog, as far as the Chinese new year goes - or maybe it's the rat I am - or some other equally undesirable animal.
Back to Pavlov's: I've learned, talking = no response, yelling = response.

At times, I have consciously made the choice to SAY NOTHING.
And I don't.
And I watch my family NOT doing what they should be doing. (This irritates me so much.)
I refrain from saying anything. I hold back. I remain silent.
Family still not doing what I expect.
I bite my tongue. I fight the "yelling monster" that wants so desperately to come out.
Still not getting the results from them.
I stew, and I stew, and I stew....but what happens to the pot of chili (blah!) when it stews for so long, with the heat getting increasingly higher?...It boils over!!
As is the same with me...I Yell - even though I wasn't going to. I'd chosen NOT to.
And the family's like, "WHOA! Where'd that come from? What's gotten into her? What's her problem?" (I'm telling you my problem right now!)
I resort back to my weakness. Just like the dog to his vomit.

I want to stop. I need to stop.
Saying, "Please forgive me" doesn't seem sincere or believable enough, since part of repentance means I will never do it again. And, so far, I keep doing it.
I have listened to our Church Leaders speak about this and have studied their General Conference talks. I have prayed about this. I have fasted about this. I have continually beat myself up about this.
Why can't I change into a "Non-yeller?" (Is that even a real word, also?)
Is this just a part of me? Is this who I am, unable to be altered? The ol' "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" case in point?

Here's the root of the problem:
There's a very short supply of patience in my entire being.
There are some things that I have little or NO tolerance for.
Things like:

disobedience
not listening
disrespect
irresponsibility
laziness
undependability
dishonesty
unwillingness to serve/help
"free-loaders"
thoughtlessness
being oblivious to the needs of others

And that's my problem I have to work out.

So, I say to my neighbors, I apologize to you for ever having to hear me yell. I don't want to run you out of town. But, is it any coincidence that in the 8 years, 10 months that we have lived in our current home, we have had SIX different next door neighbors? Yes, it's true - THREE different families have lived in each of the houses both on the left & on the right side of me.

And to my family...well, I've got ongoing repenting to do with you, in private.

I didn't realize it before, but it turns out, with all these references, I really am a dog!!
(Although, "bear" is the word my husband used.) :)