Kids Say the Darndest Things - Mar. '12 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Matt was giving a Family Night lesson on the worth of a person in the sight of God. He tried an object lesson with 4 different types of fruit to demonstrate his point (look different, all are good fruit)....
Matt: "Everyone is different, but they all have the same worth in Heavenly Father's eyes. He loves them the same, even though no two people look the same.
Katelyn: (using a correcting tone) "Except Zack & Austin." (the twin boys who live next door) 3/12

I've Been Having a "Ton of Fun" Lately

• This week I had my third mammogram in the last eight and a half months. YES, 3 TIMES IN 8 1/2 MONTHS!!! AND.....get this.....I get to go in AGAIN for my 4th in three more months. Now, THAT is a lot of smashin' going on! So much for delaying my first-ever mammo experience, I've more than made up for it, now. Apparently, I am not "textbook normal" and so that's put them in "appointment scheduling overdrive" while they try to figure me out. When I ask them questions, they reply, "I don't know." These "Medical Professionals" are quite impressive, wouldn't you agree?!? They deserve every bit of that HUGE salary they make to be able to give......the same answers my 3 yr. old does!

• I was feeling a little bit sad and paranoid after a local teen was hit by a car and killed this week while walking his bike across a crosswalk (I know! So terrible.) So, I decided I wanted to pick up Kyle at the Jr. High School after his track practice instead of letting him walk home. I arrived at 4:15 and couldn't see him. I waited out front. I drove around to the side of the school. I talked with a couple of the kids I saw there who either:

a) didn't know anything
b) hadn't seen him
c) told me track practice had been over for a while

So, I headed back home at 4:25, taking a different route in case he had started to walk and I had missed him on my way there. I arrived home at 4:28 without ever seeing him.
At 4:30 my phone rang. It was Kyle asking for a ride home from the school. I got back in the car......

• A chappy/red/rash looking thing has appeared under my lip (so lovely) this week, (great! Just in time for my 20 year mission reunion tonight) So, I have been putting Desitin on it in an attempt to get rid of it. When the kids see me, they're like, "MOM! Wash that toothpaste off your face! You look stupid!" I have opted not to correct them on this matter - in case this story "leaks" at school or during a Home Teaching visit, as it often does, I figure toothpaste sounds a lot better than butt paste!

• While pruning in the yard this week in preparation for our city's annual "Spring Cleanup" pick up of leaves, limbs, and branches, I was attacking a rose bush. The branch was a tough one. I was squeezing those pruners with all my might, crouching down to get more leverage, when I was finally able to cut all the way through....and the upper branch flipped and slammed down on top of my head, with a big thorn aligned just right to pierce my scalp and draw blood.

• I have been getting phone calls daily from, according to my caller ID:

"New Co"
"California"
"Operation Lookout"
"Chicago, IL"
"Name Unknown"
"PacificTel"
"American Express Customer Service"
"Name Unavailable"
"Beehive Bail Bonds"
and the like.
AND I'm on the "DO NOT CALL" list.

• I was out of lipstick, so I went to the store and bought some, along with some other things, this week. When I got home, I unloaded the bags and the "other things" were all there. The lipstick? NOT THERE. I had the privilege of returning all the way back to the store to retrieve it, since I actually wanted the product - I didn't want to pay for it just for giggles. The store clerk claimed he'd bagged it. Upon searching the area, it was found on the check out counter, unbagged. Does this new purchase have something to do with the redness issue mentioned above?

• It's allergy season! My body is reacting by sneezing violently multiple times in a row. Seriously, I can't even catch my breath when the sneezing starts; a-chu, a-chu, a-chu, a-chu, a chu, a-chu, A-CHUUUU! (or maintain bladder control.)

See, like I said, FUN, FUN!

Didn't mean to make y'all jealous.

So, what have you been up to lately? Anything "fun?"

Is Your Dryer Trying to Tell You Something?

MINE WAS.

You see, my dryer has started taking an obnoxiously LONG time to dry a load of clothes lately. We're talking like more than two hours!

And that's just not conducive to getting much laundry done in a day. And, over here at my home, with the seven of us and multiple clothing changes, I can't afford to NOT get a lot of laundry done in a day.

I always scrape clean the lint screen, so I didn't know what was going on. My dryer needed MORE from me! More attention and coddling, I guess. So, I obliged. Today, I felt inspired to reach my arm down into the the lint screen crevice - and I discovered that it goes much lower than the height of the lint screen. I felt a ton of junk deep down there - including THIS:


Pennies are quite common to find, but $5.06....WOW! I hit the Jackpot and I didn't even have to drive up to Idaho to buy a lottery ticket that's all a buzz right now - and my odds were much better! My dryer rewarded me for my efforts. Now, let's dry those clothes SPEEDY fast!

My dryer was telling me I needed to make a deposit in THIS:

{I have a "Finders Keepers" rule with the laundry and it goes right into this jar.}

So, I'm set, girls. I'm feeling rich! What shall we do?

Any good movies out?
Know any "must try" restaurants?
The Trampoline Park?
Who's in concert?
Wendover's only, what, 2 hours away? (j/k)
My "no candy" Lent period ends in 4 1/2 days!
Do they do "Strobe Light" bowling anymore?
NYC Girls' Trip?
Oh....gotta go, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory is calling me!

:)

Now You See It, Now You Don't

My toilets had a problem.
No matter how many times we "swished" with the toilet brush, we still had a toilet ring - and other non-removable problem areas.

THEN.....I was introduced to THIS product:

THE PUMIE

Here's the Product Description: If you have tried for hours to get hard water rings out of toilets or have tough stains in bathroom fixtures, then Pumie all-purpose pumice scouring sticks are the answer. Pumie sticks will turn hours of scrubbing chores into mere seconds of scouring.

So, I bought it.....for LESS THAN $10.00

Here's my personal results...

And after I got done with the toilet, my eyes scanned the rest of the bathroom and I saw our tub.
Same thing.
There has been a LINE on the bottom that will not go away!
I thought, Nothing else has worked....I wonder.....?
So, I tried it - with GREAT results, as well.

I just consider it my duty to SAVE all those other toilets out there by giving my recommendation......You're Welcome!

Pumie is not the sponsor of this blog post. Pumie does not even know I exist. I did not receive any rewards or compensation from them besides some dirty toilet relief after YEARS of trying! (Which I deem reward enough!)

Now aren't you just JEALOUS of my bathroom-cleaning LIFE?!?

Desperates Marathon

This weekend we tried to play "catch up" on all the Desperate Housewives episodes we have missed since......like OCTOBER! Some of them were so old that we couldn't even access them on abc.com anymore, we had to search the Internet for them.

I lost track of how many episodes we watched after about the 8th one.....I KNOW! Why can't we STOP watching?!? So, needless to say, DH is on my brain.

And this is a synopsis of what happened: dishonesty. deception. lying. manipulating. con artist. ulterior motives. cunning. cheating. stealing. vandalism. intimidation. stalking. fraud. misleading. untrustworthy. shady character. corruption. crafty. half-truths. crooked. devious. cover ups. hidden agendas. sneaky. swindling. two-faced. mean.......

WHY do we watch this?

I also learned the real ages of the actors: "Bree" [Marcia Cross] - 49 (turns 50 in 2 weeks), "Lynette" [Felicity Huffman] - 49, "Renee" [Vanessa Williams] - 48 (turns 49 in 1 week), "Susan" [Teri Hatcher] - 47, "Gaby" [Eva Longoria] - 37. AND THEY ALL LOOK GREAT! Beautiful skin and eyes. Awesome figures - flat stomachs, lean legs, toned arms, firm buns...! Gorgeous hair. They can RUN in 6" heels...WHY do we watch this?!?

Sometime ago, I took one of those fun little quizzes on the abc T.V. website that lets you know which Desperate Housewife you are. As far as the one you were most like. Well, I tested part "Susan" and part "Lynette." I think I mostly got the "Susan" points because of all the spastic things I do and the ridiculous situations I find myself in. But, as far as the way I act (and having 5 children) I'm a "Lynette." While watching, Matt will chuckle to himself about "Lynette" because the similarities between us are sometimes uncanny, and he will say, "That's you!"
WELL, one of the [159] episodes we watched this weekend had a scene where the "girlfriends" pretty much tell "Lynette" that they didn't want to "couldn't think of anybody" to set her up on a date with because she is........(they fished around for the right words, throwing things out like "unique" and "feisty") but it came out that what they really meant was that they thought she is a B _ _ _ _! (Nice friends, huh?) And if I'm "Lynette"......WHY do we watch this????

After that scene, Matt tried to tell me that I'm not really exactly like her.....that much..... (nice backpedaling!)

But, STILL, I watch, and this is what I think should happen on the show next:
Susan should let her daughter give her baby up for adoption because that is what SHE has decided - it will be BEST for the BABY - and just stay out of it!
Bree needs to get a restraining order against [insane] Orson.
Tom & Lynette need to get back together! (If she can just be less bossy & critical and he can be more proactive, dependable, and engaged.)
Carlos needs to cut/do his hair back to the way it used to be.
Mike needs to go to the police about the "Loan Shark."
Ben needs to learn how to run/build up his construction business and start making a profit/paying his employees.
Gaby needs to get rid of that bottle of wine hidden in the toilet tank.

Because ALL OF THIS is just so gosh darn important, eh?!? :)

Matt's comment last night after we'd watch every last available episode, was this: "WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST HAVE A NORMAL LIFE?"

And just WHAT is normal? (Is there a "normal" family out there? If so, I don't know one!) I had to inform him that "normal" doesn't mean "perfect".

We have to ask ourselves: Is the show ALLURING to us because it's so bizarre and far-fetched that it allows us to [momentarily] lose touch with reality? OR is that we are drawn to it because we really CAN relate to the madness and ironies in our own lives?

Well, I guess we have to come up with the answer soon (or not) because this [8th] season is THE LAST SEASON of Desperate Housewives and then [sadly?] it is ending it's run.

Things I've Heard on the Job: #7

It's been a while since I've reported about my life, "On the phones @ JetBlue."

* Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is Suzanne, how may I help you?"
Customer: "You SURE HAVE a SEXY VOICE!"
Me: "And...how may I help you?"
{blah, blah, blah, help customer, talk about flights, explain air travel details, blah, blah, blah}
Me: "Thank you for calling for JetBlue - Good Night."
Customer: "It's a shame we couldn't talk longer!"


* Occasionally, the customers do not disconnect their phone after we have said "Good Bye" and that is when I hear some of the good stuff, too... This particular phone call had consisted of the wife being on the phone with me, and after everything she heard from me, she kept telling her husband, who was apparently in the background, what I'd just said. Then he would ask a question (which I could hear from the background) and then she would ask me that same question, I'd give her an answer, and then she'd tell him. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. He was asking a lot of the same things we'd already discussed - so much so that it got to the point that the wife would just answer his questions, without asking me since I'd already told her (them) before. Soooo....after the call "ended" (but she did not disconnect)
Wife to Husband: (in a scolding tone) "You just DON'T PAY ATTENTION to when people talk!!"
{silence}
Wife: "I said you don't pay attention."


* Me: "You can check in 24 hours before your flight on our website at www.jetblue.com"
Customer: "W W what?"
Me: "www.jetblue.com"
Customer: "Kon? K-O-N?"
Me: "COM. C-O-M.....Or you can also check in at the airport ticket counter...."


* Me: "What date would you like to travel?"
Customer: "Let's see....What comes after September?....October, right? No....wait, I'm so confused!"* Me: "What is your date of birth, please?" (This info is required by TSA, I'm not trying to be stalker-ish!)
Customer: "September 14th......I mean May 4th."

(These questions we ask are just too darn hard, aren't they?"


* Usually at the end of a call, we both just say, "Good Bye" but in this incidence, I got a "pep talk" of sorts...
Me: "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"
Customer: "You should've been an attorney. You're a smart lady! You sound Filipino, you have a voice from the opera. I LIKE you, Lady!"

(Wow! All that from me quoting him his round trip airfare, including all taxes and fees, would be $169.70)


* A LOT of customers want to know where I am, what's the weather like here, etc....
Customer: "So, where are you?"
Me: "Our Call Center is located in Salt Lake City, Utah."
Customer: "Ooohh...MORMON CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, huh?!?"
Me: (trying not to get off track and keep control of the call time) "It is true there are many Mormons in Utah, but not all are. But, Mormons can be found practically all over the world."
Customer: "NOT where I live! We don't have ANY Mormons in Boston."

I let it go, but in my mind I was thinking, What about THIS:

{The Boston, Massachusetts [Mormon] Temple}
They wouldn't build one if there was NO ONE to attend! :)

Back to the call...
Customer: "Let me try not to swear - I know you don't swear out there....WHY? I DON'T KNOW!"
(later)
"Well, let me give you my confirmation number....O as in OSMOND (she starts cracking herself up) Osmond. Ya get it? You should be familiar with that name out there!"
(later)
"Isn't it great working from home? It's so quiet now, all the kids are in bed....ALL 16 OF THEM!"
(later)
Customer: "What do you do for fun out there?"
Me: "Well, my son is in the thick of his football season, so lately football has been our life."
Customer: (voice laced with sarcasm) "Clean, Mormon fun, huh?"
(I do realize to her, a high society Boston businesswoman, it did probably sound dull, but I was also trying to stay on the subject of AIR TRAVEL and avoid these tangents the best I could.)
(at the end of the call)
Customer: "If you want to come to Boston and have a WILD time, let me know!"

(Oh Yea! But, I think I might be too busy going to football games with my "friends!")

Lent Update

I'M STILL ON THE WAGON!!!

I've made it without candy for two weeks!
OH MY WORD - has it ONLY been 2 [lousy, slow] weeks?!?

Let's see... February 22nd to March 7th...
Yes, it has.

Now I'm eating SALAD for lunch [since Starburst isn't an option anymore]. Imagine that!

This morning, Haylee rubbed it in my face informed me that she STILL has candy from Valentine's Day.

And from Christmas. AND from Halloween!

Now wasn't that cruel of her?

But, I guess the "bright side" to that fact is:
with the current tornado-aftermath-like conditions of her bedroom,
I'd never be able to find it!

Don't Worry About It

This is what Miss B. tries to teach me A LOT lately.

And she says it in her completely sweet and innocent 3 yr. old voice.

I've learned to interpret her "foreign language."
Translated: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT OR DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

When I'm getting her out of her car seat, about to go into a public place:
Me: "Woops. You still have ketchup on your face from lunch."
Brookelle: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "Oh dear, look at your bedroom. It needs to be cleaned up!"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

As she's trying to sneak by me out the front door:
Me: "It's SNOWY outside, don't go out there in your flip flops."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

While out on errands:
Me: "Ya better go potty here because there's no potty where we're going next and it will be a long, LONG time before you can go again."
Her: "Nah....don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "Please don't 'paint' the bathroom mirror with your toothpaste."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "Oh, look at the clock - it's your bedtime."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

When I'm putting on my make up, she comes and sits next to me and "helps herself" too:
Me: "That's enough lipstick."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."
(Oh boy, is this a foreshadowing of her teens?)

Me: "Uh Oh, you spilled on your shirt."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "We're going to be late for (fill in the blank)"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "How did this book get ripped?"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "I just broke my fingernail."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "Where's Lily [the hamster]? She's not in her cage...and the door is open...and you've got hamster bedding in your hair!"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "This Toy Room is a DISASTER!"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "Let's pull your hair back in a ponytail, so I can see your pretty face."
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

Me: "My pants 'shrunk in the wash'!"
Her: "Don't worry about it, Mom."

When she has dressed herself in her sister's dance leotard tank over pajama pants when we're about to go out to Ryan's basketball game:
Me: "Get some real clothes on to go."
Her: "STOP worrying about it, Mom."

Apparently, I "WORRY" too much!!!