Things I've Heard on the Job #10

Here's another installment of, "On the phones @ jetBlue."


*  (This first one is not something I heard the customer say....it's what she didn't say, but I still heard!)
I answered a call, and I immediately heard this swishing-swooshing CONTINUOUS noise in the background.  It was really obvious and distracting to me.  I had to try hard to concentrate on what the customer was saying instead of wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD that noise was.  Was she sawing wood during the phone call?  The caller made no mention of the noise while we were talking.  Is she pumping breast milk while she talks to me about flights?  She didn't say, "Just a minute while I move to a quieter place." or anything else like that.  Is that her washing machine going in the same room?  She didn't excuse it and she didn't seem to strain to hear over the top of it.  Is it an oxygen machine?  A ventilator?   In fact, she didn't act like she even noticed the noise at all.  Oh my word, is she performing CPR on the dummy - or a real person - during our call?  I can't believe she acted like everything was completely normal; like nothing was happening whatsoever except for her phone call with me.  Because ALL I could think about was that noise!  Does this mystery noise rank right up there with that other unmentionable noise from a few years back?


* [Customers always feel free to carry on conversations with people in the background when they're on the phone with me...]
(Someone in the background started whining/crying)
Customer: "What happened?  Did you hurt your nuts?"
Boy in background:  "No, my knee!"
 

* Me:  "How many customer's will be traveling?"
Customer:  "One.  Just me.  I WISH I had Halle Barry to go with me!"
Later in the phone call.....
Me:  "What is your TrueBlue number?"
Customer:  "I don't know.  I'll have to ask my wife."
Hmmmm.....so he has a wife, but desires to travel with Halle Barry instead?  His wife is good for keeping track of all his pertinent information, but she's not good enough to go on vacation with?


* [A man was booking a flight for he and his wife]
Me:  "What is your wife's date of birth?"
Customer:  "Oh, I don't know.  Do we have to put that on the reservation?  Because she's going to kill me if I ask her!"
Me:  "Yes, it is required information to ticket the flight."
Customer:  "I think it's 1966, she's 47 years old."
Me:  "OK, if she's 47, that would be 1968."
Customer:  "Oh no!  Now she's really going to kill me, for making her older than she is!"


For past "Things I've heard on the job" posts, click HERE.