Christmas -- Round 2

Apparently, when some of the companies [that my husband ordered Christmas gifts for me from] said that the items would be delivered by December 18th....

 ....what they REALLY meant was on January 7th!

 Just THREE WEEKS later - no biggie, right?!?  (Not)

Geez Louise, I'd say that was pretty darn unsatisfactory, bordering on unacceptable, as far as customer service goes....We definitely have become too accustomed to Amazon Prime's [free] 2-day delivery being SO NICE!

But, really.....I'm a grown woman, so it's not like I couldn't handle a few less presents on Christmas morning.  In fact, I still received plenty of stuff, so it didn't even cross my mind that I was lacking - Matt just told me later that some things hadn't come.  Better me than the kids, right?!?


So, this all meant that I got to be surprised and open up ANOTHER Christmas package of stuff last night  - Woo Hoo!

Merry Christmas to me - AGAIN!

(since I was semi-conscious on the real day, anyway, this was real swell!)

Things I've Heard on the Job #10

Here's another installment of, "On the phones @ jetBlue."


*  (This first one is not something I heard the customer say....it's what she didn't say, but I still heard!)
I answered a call, and I immediately heard this swishing-swooshing CONTINUOUS noise in the background.  It was really obvious and distracting to me.  I had to try hard to concentrate on what the customer was saying instead of wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD that noise was.  Was she sawing wood during the phone call?  The caller made no mention of the noise while we were talking.  Is she pumping breast milk while she talks to me about flights?  She didn't say, "Just a minute while I move to a quieter place." or anything else like that.  Is that her washing machine going in the same room?  She didn't excuse it and she didn't seem to strain to hear over the top of it.  Is it an oxygen machine?  A ventilator?   In fact, she didn't act like she even noticed the noise at all.  Oh my word, is she performing CPR on the dummy - or a real person - during our call?  I can't believe she acted like everything was completely normal; like nothing was happening whatsoever except for her phone call with me.  Because ALL I could think about was that noise!  Does this mystery noise rank right up there with that other unmentionable noise from a few years back?


* [Customers always feel free to carry on conversations with people in the background when they're on the phone with me...]
(Someone in the background started whining/crying)
Customer: "What happened?  Did you hurt your nuts?"
Boy in background:  "No, my knee!"
 

* Me:  "How many customer's will be traveling?"
Customer:  "One.  Just me.  I WISH I had Halle Barry to go with me!"
Later in the phone call.....
Me:  "What is your TrueBlue number?"
Customer:  "I don't know.  I'll have to ask my wife."
Hmmmm.....so he has a wife, but desires to travel with Halle Barry instead?  His wife is good for keeping track of all his pertinent information, but she's not good enough to go on vacation with?


* [A man was booking a flight for he and his wife]
Me:  "What is your wife's date of birth?"
Customer:  "Oh, I don't know.  Do we have to put that on the reservation?  Because she's going to kill me if I ask her!"
Me:  "Yes, it is required information to ticket the flight."
Customer:  "I think it's 1966, she's 47 years old."
Me:  "OK, if she's 47, that would be 1968."
Customer:  "Oh no!  Now she's really going to kill me, for making her older than she is!"


For past "Things I've heard on the job" posts, click HERE.

Make a Customer, Not a Sale

I work in Customer Service.
I know it can be hard, at times, to satisfy the customer.
Especially when they're asking for the STARS - and the SUN & MOON for that matter!

But, lately, I've been on the OTHER SIDE.  I've been the recipient and I thought they deserve a shout out.  Little things go a LONG way.

SMITH'S

Matt & I were doing a late night, Saturday night none the less, shopping trip and stocked up on cereal because they were having a "Buy 4 and Save" type of sale.
First we tried self-check out......is it just ME, or does it NEVER work?!?
So, then we went to a real, live checker.  The cereal STILL didn't come up at the right sale price - even though we'd purchased the minimum of four.  It was discovered that the reason was because one of the boxes Matt had chosen was the larger box, the size that wasn't part of the deal, so it wasn't registering the price break.   
BUT, instead of making us return back to the cereal aisle to get the smaller box, she just said, "That's OK." and she re-scanned one of our qualifying [smaller] cereal boxes in it's place, so the computer would calculate the sale price....AND SHE LET US KEEP THE LARGEST BOX!
"Low Prices.  Market Fresh" - they made TRUE on their slogan! (I got a BELOW low price.)

CHICK-FIL-A 

 I don't usually order a drink at restaurants because I ONLY like one kind - diet Dr. Pepper - and not a lot of places have it.
(Although, more & more are coming out with it!  THANK YOU for finally responding to all my "Letters to the Editor"  ;)  haha.  J/K I never wrote....at least not that I can remember, and we know how volatile
 my memory has been over the past several years.)
Anyway, so I just ordered food, a sandwich & waffle fries, without a drink.  A few minutes later, I was at a different part of the order counter to get napkins, and I saw that the fountain drink machine over there DID, in fact, have DDP.   
Dang!  I'd already paid and I should've got the combo!
SO, I just approached the counter and explained to them I didn't know they had MY DRINK when I first ordered, but now, post-order, could I please change it into a combo?  The nice woman, who kept saying, "My pleasure." by the way, asked her manager how to enter it into the register and then she prepared me a drink and gave it to me.  I asked her what I owed her, I guessed it would be about a dollar to bring the total I had paid up to the combo meal price.....AND SHE SAID THEY WERE GIVING ME THE DRINK AS A PROMO because I just didn't know about their DDP when I ordered.
(And then they gave me free refills, too!!)
"EAT MORE CHIKIN" is their slogan - I WILL thanks to this experience!

KOHL'S 

Matt gave me a purse for my birthday (last September) that he had purchased at Kohl's.  I tend to put about 50 things in my purse - no joke!  (I have to be prepared for whatever I MIGHT need!)

So, when the purse started to get a few rips around the area where the straps meet up with the bag part, I figured it was just because it wasn't designed to handle the weight.  What's interesting, though, is that a friend of mine had actually got the exact same purse at about the same time.  She'd showed me that hers had some tears in it, too.
SO, when I was at Kohl's the next time (with my purse), I mentioned it to them and asked what we could do.  She told me to bring in the receipt and they could help me.  I actually did still have the receipt, but I thought for sure when they saw the date (8 MONTHS AGO!) that they would just tell me that it was normal wear & tear. (PLUS I am guilty of overloading)  BUT, NO!  I took in the receipt.....AND THEY TOLD ME TO GO GET A BRAND NEW PURSE OFF OF THEIR SHELVES.
She performed an "even exchange" and let me empty out everything from the used purse (I thought she would reconsider at this point when she saw the 50 items as the culprit of the purse's damage) and I put it all in the new purse, she disposed of the old one, and I was on my merry way!
"Expect great things" - they sure made TRUE on their slogan!

BLUE IGUANA RESTAURANT

Matt & I went out to dinner here Saturday night and our waitress had to deal with our (my) usual indecision on what to order.  She was trying to explain mole (the Mexican sauces) to me because I wasn't too familiar with it, and honestly, by reading the description of the ingredients in the menu, it sounded kind of NOT delicious, yet she was saying they WERE!  She really wanted to help me, so she said she'd be right back.  She went into the kitchen and came out a while later with a plate of all 8 or 10 mole samples on it and brought me a fresh basket of tortilla chips SO I COULD TRY EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Through that taste testing process, I was able to point to the ones I liked, and she could identify them, and we were [finally] able to make an order!
Their slogan:  "The most delicious recipes you'll EVER encounter" - she made sure I could have my encounter!  ;)


I appreciate all their EXTRA service they provided me......it makes me want to be sure to always give it in my job, too!

There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. ~ Roger Staubach
 
Make your product easier to buy than your competition, or you will find your customers buying from them, not you. ~ Mark Cuban

Here is a simple but powerful rule: always give people more than what they expect to get. ~ Nelson Boswell

AND.....when in doubt if you can have something or not....ASK!!  ;)

Friday Funnies OR Things I've Heard on the Job #9

"Funnies"  - Did anyone else used to call the comics in the Sunday newspaper, "the funnies"?

We did in my family.

Since that's what I'm going to share with you today, AND it is a Friday, I'm calling this post, "Friday Funnies" -- and it might become a regular feature???  Who knows?

My material also comes from a customer while I was "On the phones at JetBlue."

The call was coming to a natural end and I was about to bid him farewell.....

Customer:  "WAIT!  Can I ask you one more thing?"

Based on past experience, my immediate thought was, Oh no, it's one of those guys!

(Like the foot fetish guy who asks if I'm wearing any shoes.  Like the hand fetish guy who asks how big my hands are.  Like the Perv who asks what kind of lingerie I wear.  Like the whatever psycho who asks a variety of freaky &/or inappropriate questions.)

Me:  (guarded)  "OK."

Customer:  "Where does a one-legged woman work?"

(After that question, I STILL thought he was going to turn it into something sick & wrong.  Should I disconnect the call?)

Me: (still guarded)  "Where?"

Customer:  "IHOP"

Hahahaha.  Oh, whew!  What a pleasant surprise!  It was a REAL joke!  :)

Customer:  "I've got one more for you."

Me:  (guard down this time)  "OK."

Customer:  "What did one eye say to the other eye?

Me:  "What?"

Customer:  "Don't look now, but there's something between us that smells."

Bwah ha haha.  Instead of a dirty, old man....he turned out to be a clever, delightful man!  :)

Happy Friday!  (And Valentine's Day!)

**************

Other "Things I've Heard on the Job" here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.

Cougar Town OR Things I've Heard on the Job: #8

During one of my travels, I meandered into a cute little gift shop/boutique that had SO MANY signs with really clever/inspirational/delightful/relateable sayings on them.  I found numerous that tickled my fancy - that described me - and that I wanted to buy for myself.  Except I didn't, because then it would overpower everything else in my home.

One of my favorites was this one:

Because as you know (or don't know?) I am older than my husband!

By how much?  Well, that's debatable.

He says 8 months.

I say 9 months.

You decide.  

I was born Sept. 14th of one year, and he was born June 8th of the following year.

9 MONTHS.  No?

ANYWAY.  Our kids have a hay day with it....whenever we do things in "age order" there is always a big "discussion" whether Matt or I should go first.  The kids want to be all technical about it, Matt just thinks he should go first because.....he's the dad!  :)

But, the whole thing that got me thinking of "Cougars" again was a call I had recently while "On the phones @ jetBlue."

I was assisting an older couple (I know because they have to give my their DOB) from Southern California who were both on the phone with me while booking their flight reservations.  I'm not sure if they were married or not because they had different last names, but they were traveling together.  (If not, Friends?  Lovers?  Brother/Sister?)

She was a 76 yr. old woman named, Helga.

Me:  "Where on the plane would you like to sit?"

Helga:  "Make sure to seat me by a nice, YOUNG man.  And seat a good-looking one in front of me...and behind me, too.  A YOUNG one.  Ya got that?"

Me:  [giggle]

Him:  "You gotta watch out for these "Newport Cougars!"

Me:  [chuckle]

Helga:  "Hey, I'm a German Cougar!"

Me:  "Let's hope for the best."  ;)

(If she IS his wife/girlfriend, he was pretty liberal, accepting her extra-curricular relationship explorations, and all!)  ;)

Things I've Heard on the Job: #7

It's been a while since I've reported about my life, "On the phones @ JetBlue."

* Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is Suzanne, how may I help you?"
Customer: "You SURE HAVE a SEXY VOICE!"
Me: "And...how may I help you?"
{blah, blah, blah, help customer, talk about flights, explain air travel details, blah, blah, blah}
Me: "Thank you for calling for JetBlue - Good Night."
Customer: "It's a shame we couldn't talk longer!"


* Occasionally, the customers do not disconnect their phone after we have said "Good Bye" and that is when I hear some of the good stuff, too... This particular phone call had consisted of the wife being on the phone with me, and after everything she heard from me, she kept telling her husband, who was apparently in the background, what I'd just said. Then he would ask a question (which I could hear from the background) and then she would ask me that same question, I'd give her an answer, and then she'd tell him. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. He was asking a lot of the same things we'd already discussed - so much so that it got to the point that the wife would just answer his questions, without asking me since I'd already told her (them) before. Soooo....after the call "ended" (but she did not disconnect)
Wife to Husband: (in a scolding tone) "You just DON'T PAY ATTENTION to when people talk!!"
{silence}
Wife: "I said you don't pay attention."


* Me: "You can check in 24 hours before your flight on our website at www.jetblue.com"
Customer: "W W what?"
Me: "www.jetblue.com"
Customer: "Kon? K-O-N?"
Me: "COM. C-O-M.....Or you can also check in at the airport ticket counter...."


* Me: "What date would you like to travel?"
Customer: "Let's see....What comes after September?....October, right? No....wait, I'm so confused!"* Me: "What is your date of birth, please?" (This info is required by TSA, I'm not trying to be stalker-ish!)
Customer: "September 14th......I mean May 4th."

(These questions we ask are just too darn hard, aren't they?"


* Usually at the end of a call, we both just say, "Good Bye" but in this incidence, I got a "pep talk" of sorts...
Me: "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"
Customer: "You should've been an attorney. You're a smart lady! You sound Filipino, you have a voice from the opera. I LIKE you, Lady!"

(Wow! All that from me quoting him his round trip airfare, including all taxes and fees, would be $169.70)


* A LOT of customers want to know where I am, what's the weather like here, etc....
Customer: "So, where are you?"
Me: "Our Call Center is located in Salt Lake City, Utah."
Customer: "Ooohh...MORMON CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, huh?!?"
Me: (trying not to get off track and keep control of the call time) "It is true there are many Mormons in Utah, but not all are. But, Mormons can be found practically all over the world."
Customer: "NOT where I live! We don't have ANY Mormons in Boston."

I let it go, but in my mind I was thinking, What about THIS:

{The Boston, Massachusetts [Mormon] Temple}
They wouldn't build one if there was NO ONE to attend! :)

Back to the call...
Customer: "Let me try not to swear - I know you don't swear out there....WHY? I DON'T KNOW!"
(later)
"Well, let me give you my confirmation number....O as in OSMOND (she starts cracking herself up) Osmond. Ya get it? You should be familiar with that name out there!"
(later)
"Isn't it great working from home? It's so quiet now, all the kids are in bed....ALL 16 OF THEM!"
(later)
Customer: "What do you do for fun out there?"
Me: "Well, my son is in the thick of his football season, so lately football has been our life."
Customer: (voice laced with sarcasm) "Clean, Mormon fun, huh?"
(I do realize to her, a high society Boston businesswoman, it did probably sound dull, but I was also trying to stay on the subject of AIR TRAVEL and avoid these tangents the best I could.)
(at the end of the call)
Customer: "If you want to come to Boston and have a WILD time, let me know!"

(Oh Yea! But, I think I might be too busy going to football games with my "friends!")

Things I've Heard on the Job: #6

Today marks the last day of a work shift I've had at JetBlue over the last 4 months.

THANK GOODNESS X 1,000,000,000!

I've been working A LOT lately - much more than I am used to or that I care to work at my job.
The increase in hours has been due to:
1) I worked a shift this time that is actually during most people's waking hours. (As opposed to a 10PM - 4AM shift I've had in the past.)
More people awake = More people call = More busy at work.
**I will say that I chose this shift, I thought I'd give it a try, but those around me have made it extremely clear to me that they HATE THIS SHIFT! I won't do that again.**
and
2) We've just come through the winter season with the infamous SNOWPOCALYPSE(es) (plural) that wreak HAVOC on the airline industry.
More airline operations disruptions = More people call = More busy at work.

So...with working so much, I've also had plenty of opportunities to hear a lot of great/weird/funny/awesome/classic things while "On the Phones @ JetBlue."

*Customer: "I need to book a flight for either the 9th, 10th, or 11th - whichever costs the lowest."
Me: "OK - it looks like those three days all have the same fare."
Customer: "Let's go with the 9th. This is for my Mother-in-Law returning home -- the sooner, the better!"
Later...
Me: "We have some 'Even More Legroom' seats available, would you like to upgrade to those?"
Customer: "NO UPGRADE! We don't want these flights to be too comfortable for her or else she'll think she can keep coming back!"
Me: "OK - would you prefer window or aisle?"
Customer: "Let's give her a window seat -- so then she can lay her head against the window and think -- and remember how terrible we all are and how she hates us!"
Later while going over the terms & conditions...
Me: "If she is a NO SHOW for the flight, then all money associated with this fare would be forfeited..."
Customer: "Hopefully THAT won't be possible!"
Later...
Me: "You're all set. Thank you for calling JetBlue."
Customer: "Hopefully she gets there safe and DON'T COME BACK. I'll keep my fingers crossed!"

(Hmmmm...I wonder if she and her Mother-in-Law like each other?) hahaha ;)


Customer: "Can you look up my reservation?"
Me: "Sure - what is your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: "1K892PNG0X7E"
Me: "Your JetBlue confirmation number will be six digits, all letters. Can you see something like that on your itinerary?"
Customer: "No, it says right here this is my USAirways confirmation number."
Me: "Oh, is your reservation with USAirways?"
Customer: "Yes. I need you look it up."
Me: "Is any part of your flight with JetBlue?"
Customer: "No."
Me: "OK, this is JetBlue - I won't be able to look up your USAirways reservation. I would suggest you call them for information."
Customer: (voice laced with total shock) "I'll need to call USAirways???"
Me: "Yes. If your reservation is with them, you will."
Customer: (pause) "O--K-AAA-Y." (with total doubt coming through in her voice)


Me: "Hello. Thank you for calling JetBlue, my name is Suzanne. How may I help you?"
Customer: "Oh, How are you Cynthia? That's my daughter's name, as well. You've got a lovely name!"


*A customer was booking a flight for her 18 yr. old daughter and her friend, but didn't know how to spell the friend's name exactly, so she was calling to her daughter for assistance. Her daughter refused to come to where her mother was, but, instead she ripped off the spelling from wherever she was hiding out in the house. My customer tried to spell it to me, based on what she might have heard, but then I could hear her daughter in the nethermost parts of the house yelling to her about it not being right. My customer would re-spell it to me after trying to catch what her daughter said, but, again, her daughter yelled from afar the REAL spelling. After a few misspelled attempts and my customer insisting her daughter come to phone to take care of it herself, her daughter got on the phone with me and [very irritated] spelled it for me correctly. As the daughter was handing the phone back to her mother, I overheard....
Daughter: "You're literally the most retarded person I've ever met in my entire life. I hope you die!"
(Huh?!? How about, "Thanks so much, Mom, for buying my friend & I a flight!" What a lovely young woman! Don't you just hope your own daughter(s) will be like that when they're 18? How about)


* I was booking a flight for my customer who was doing it (and paying) for someone else...
Me: "Would he prefer a window or aisle seat if available?"
Customer: "I don't care. He's flying for free. He could be in the engine!"


* Customer: "I'm going to ask you a question you've probably never had."
Me: (thinking, 'No...I've heard A LOT, most likely I've had it before") but I actually said, "OK, what is it?"
Customer: "I'm going through a gender change....My ID still says, 'Michael' and I'm trying to change it to 'Michelle' which is what I go by now, but I don't have a new ID yet, these things take time....and I dress like a woman...and my gender change is not totally complete....will I have problems at the airport?....and especially with the Security department?"
Me: "The official policy with air travel is that the name on the flight reservation needs to match the name on your ID exactly."
Customer: "Do you think I need to tell them that I'm going through a gender change? Because I am."
Me: "If you feel so inclined, but it's not necessary."
Customer: "But, I'm trying to look more like a 'Michelle' than a 'Michael' and I'm wondering what to do...."
Me: "The important thing to remember is to follow the correct policy with your ID." (I repeated a version of this statement several times with each of his rebuttals and/or occasions he/she took to inform me about his/her gender change.)

He finally gave up and ended the call when he/she realized that he/she could not/did not ruffle my feathers with The Question he/she assumed would shock my pants off!

(And, YES, I've had a similar question before - it wasn't my first!)


* A man called in who was getting information from me, then would turn from the phone a bit to talk to his wife in the background about the details and ask advise about their travel plans. I could hear everything he said, but I didn't hear any response back from the wife. I could hear her in the background, so I knew she was there....
Customer: "My wife NEVER listens to me, as you can tell!"


* It's hard to correctly hear the right letters people are saying sometimes (B, D, V, T, P, G all sound the same over the phone), so it's a common practice for us crew members and customers both to clarify by saying, "B as in Bravo, D as in David, V as in Victor", etc.
So, one day I get a customer who is trying to give me his confirmation number to look up....
Customer: "W as in wiener....."
Me: (giggled a little) (He was trying to joke with me, right!?)
Then much to my surprise, when I pulled up his reservation, his name was Tom Wiener! He hadn't tried to be funny. He was being serious - that's a "W" word he can relate to! :)

Things I've Heard on the Job: #5

* Warning: Reader Discretion Advised. Graphic. If you consider yourself a "lady," - you won't want to read this post. End it now. Have young children and/or "proper" persons-from-my-parents'-generation-or-older leave the room.

I've sat on this one for a while not knowing whether I should write it or not, worrying about if others would find me inappropriate. But, it is so shocking - or unbelievable - and has such a "N-O W-A-Y" factor to it, that I just have to record it for my own "history" sake. Thus, the above warning is given and if "sensitive" readers ignored it, it's not my fault! :)

One early morning while "On the Phones @ JetBlue" I got a phone call from a customer in New York (6:00a.m. their time).

Me: "Good Morning! Thank you for calling JetBlue, my name is Suzanne, how may I help you?"
Customer: "Hey Suzanne - It's my birthday!"
Me: "Well, Happy Birthday!"
Customer: "My girlfriend already made sure it was V-E-R-Y HAPPY this morning!" :)
Me: "That's great. What can I help you with?"
Customer: "We want to book a spontaneous trip for my birthday today."

Then we proceeded to check various flight options and routes from New York to Florida that day. Blah, blah, blah. While trying to find him a good "birthday flight," he kept emphasizing to me that it was his birthday. And that he had a girlfriend (who was right there with him.) And that he wanted to get an outstanding trip.

Customer: "After this morning, she definitely deserves it!" :)

In the end, he didn't book right then with me. He said they'd take all that info and decide, then call back - so we said, "Good Bye."

Now, one of our policies at JetBlue is that WE never disconnect the call. We have to wait for THE CUSTOMER to disconnect the call. (Because we don't want to cut them off or end the call if they had something else to say/ask. We let them determine when we're done talking.) Now, in extreme circumstances, say if I'm getting an ear-full of vulgar language by an irate customer who will not stop even after my request that they do, I am allowed to give a warning that I will hang up - and then I am suppose to say, "JetBlue is releasing this call." and then hang up.

So......after I said "Good Bye" to Birthday Boy, I noticed that I didn't get a new call beep in, so I looked at my caller I.D. and I could see that he had not disconnected the call, yet. And so I just waited on the line. Maybe I had misunderstood and he and his girlfriend were "deciding" NOW on that trip to Florida and I needed to wait for him to come back and tell me.

It wasn't complete silence on the other end. I could hear hushed sounds, like he was still in the room where the phone was, but no one was speaking.

So, I followed JetBlue policy, and did not hang up the phone. I just started reading company emails and such.

And then I heard more than hushed sounds.

I heard a louder, repeated, rhythmic sound.

I heard something to the effect of: boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom...

And then I heard someone: "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh."

I was brought back to consciousness as I had a flashback of my customer's earlier comments to me. Oh. My. Word. Did I just hear what I think I heard?!!?
Uhhhhh, I think that qualifies as an "extreme circumstance."

Me: "JetBlue is releasing this call."
Click

*****
Now, ending on that note, by way of announcement, let me just tell you that JetBlue is hiring new Reservations Agents right now. In fact, the job opened for application at 10:00 this morning on http://www.jetblue.com/ and it will be closing after they receive 500 applicants. Hurry! you won't want to miss out on this "opportunity!" :)

Things I've Heard on the Job: #4

Here's some more "On the Phones at JetBlue" snippets:

* During the process of booking a flight for a customer....
Me: "Name, please..."
Customer: no response. silence. nothing.
Thinking he didn't hear me or our phones had cut out...
Me: (more clearly & louder) "What is the name of the customer traveling, please?"
Customer: (pause) "Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out my brother's last name."


* Customer: "Can you look up my reservation for me?"
Me: "Sure. May I have your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: "I don't have it. My name is John Smith."
Me: "I can look it up by your credit card number used to book the reservation instead. May I have that, please?"
Customer: "I don't know it."
Me: "Once you have this information, you're welcome to call us back and we'd be happy to assist you."
Customer: "Just pull up my reservation with my name!" (swearing and/or name calling may or may not have happened following their command.)
Me: "For your safety and privacy we're unable to release any of the information on your itinerary without the confirmation number or the credit card number."
Customer: "OK, just a minute....My confirmation number is ABCDEF."

Wow! Amazing how what was once lost, was now found - so quickly, too!
(That must've been one comfy couch - just too much so to get one's butt off of!)


* In the process of booking a flight for a party of 2, a married couple, I came to the seat assignment step....
Me: "It doesn't look like there are two seats right next to each other available, but we have..."
Customer: "Oh, that doesn't matter.....That might be a good thing.....No sweat off my brow.....I've done it before - it was THE BEST flight I ever had!"


* Customer: "What flights do you have to Florida?"
Me: "We fly to Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale, Jacksonville, West Palm Beach, Sarasota, Fort Myers, and Tampa."
Customer: "Oooooh, Ft. Lauderdale sounds nice."
Me: "Yes, it does."
Customer: "I just gotta get outta here. Permanently. Relocate, ya know. Do you think that'd be a good place to live?"
Me: (nonchalantly) "Sure."
Customer: "I've lived in New York too long. It's a horrible city. I don't wish it on anyone! I was dating this guy and he left me. I had this boss and he fired me. I have NO reason to stay here. It's just a living Hell. All the people go to church and dress nice, then they walk out cursing, beating people up, and everything! They're all a bunch of phonies, nobody's real....!
Me: "Oh, dear..."
Customer: "Yep, it's time, I should go to Florida. That's what I'm going to do. Hey, thanks, doll, you've been a real help with my decision."

REALLY? Just 6 words, such "profound" words at that, made a life-changing decision for her? Maybe I should try that more often in my REAL life! ;)




* At the end of a call....
Male customer: "You're a married girl, right?"
Me: "Correct."
Male customer: (sigh) "I figured....you sound very beautiful and very nice!"
Me: "Thank you."
Male customer: "All the good ones are taken. Your husband's a lucky man!"
(How's THAT for an ego boost to this [speedily] approaching mid-life gal? Actually, not much, because I know he's probably old, bald, short, dirty, nerdy, and farts!) :)

Things I've Heard on the Job: #3

It's time for another installment in the continuing Saga of "On the Phones at JetBlue" for your reading pleasures (actually more for my own memory/record.)

* Right in the middle of a phone conversation I was having with a customer....
Customer: "SHUT UP!"
Me: (pause. silence. pause.)
Customer: "My husband is being obnoxious! Go on..."

* Customer: I need you to look up my reservation.
Me: Sure. May I have your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: I don't know it, just look it up with my name!"
Me: I will need a confirmation number or a credit card number to locate your reservation."
Customer: Why can't you pull up my reservation with just my name? Every other agent has been able to do it for me."
Me: (thinking) That is so NOT true! (but actually said) "I'm not sure how that happened before. For YOUR safety and privacy we're unable to release any of the information on your itinerary without one of these numbers."
Customer: "Unbelievable!...here it is....'R' as in RETARDED...."
(I guess there's no question how he felt about ME!) :)

* Customer: "Oh, I need your help."
Me: "Hhh....." (cut off)
Customer: "I've got to get my grandson back home. But, my Ex-Daughter-in-Law has NO HEART! None! You just can't even believe this lady."
Me: "Oooo...." (cut off)
Customer: "My grandson's dad died and then his puppy died, too. His Grandpa who practically raised him is about to die. And she won't let him cut his visit short with her to come back. He needs to be with his Grandpa one last time - they have a good relationship even though I'm not married to him anymore!"
Me: "Mmm..." (cut off)
Customer: "I'm thinking about my grandson, but that Ex-Daughter-in-Law, I'm telling you - she has NO HEART! You see, his dad 'O. D.ed' and suddenly died and she won't pay to change his flight even though it was her turn to pay for this visits' expenses."
Me: "Bbb..." (cut off)
Customer: "We'd drive down to get him, but the car won't even make it to San Juan. Oh, all this makes us sound like a bum!"
Me: "Lll..." (cut off)
Customer: "Well, I know that there is a price to change flights, but SHE [her voice laced with disdain] won't do anything about it! Oh, my grandson just needs to come back. Well, thanks for giving me 'YOUR EAR,' I better let you go now. Good Bye."
Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue."
(Those darn Daughter-in-Laws!) ;)

* Me: "As far as seating goes, would you like aisle or window, if available?"
Customer: "I don't care, just as long as it's on the INSIDE of the plane!"

Me: "You bet! I can do that." :)


* After giving my customer a price quote for the flight she told me she wanted to book (On a trip for just her)....
Me: "Would you like me to go ahead and make your reservations for you at this time?"
Customer: "Oh, I don't have any money right now. I need to wait for Child Support money. But, I just got my bar tending job back, in Manhattan, so I can make phenomenal money! Can you book it for me "until everything comes through" for me?"
Me: "Actually, the only way to confirm a flight and lock in the fare is to purchase it."
Customer: "OK, I guess I'll have to call back [with doubt in her voice]....later...sometime...maybe."
(You've heard the saying, "There's no such thing as a free lunch" right? Well, there isn't a free airline flight, either.) :)

Things I've Heard on the Job: #2

It's been awhile since I started this new "segment," but certainly NOT because there hasn't been any interesting "On the Phones @ JetBlue" experiences...I've just been blogging about other things, apparently.
But here's another addition....



* I got a call from a customer who, while she has me on the line, is trying to talk with family in the background about travel plans to see other family members. I can hear some little disagreements between everyone and complaints about the trip start...
Customer: "We're capital "D" for DYSFUNCTIONAL! That's the only way that describes the family!


* 8:30a.m. E.S.T.
Customer: "My daughter was suppose to be in at 7:50! Where the *%#@ is she?"
Me: "Let me check the flight status for you. What flight number is she on?"
Customer: "JetBlue flight #123. I'm waiting here at the JFK airport, and she's not here!"
Me: (checking) "Looks like flight #123 is scheduled to arrive at 7:50 in the evening, and it's on time."
Customer: "Oh...." click



* It is helpful to our customers to offer them our JetBlue card from American Express if they don't have one, so they can get their free flights easier & quicker, AND take advatage of special bonuses we have. AFTER I had just made a reservation for my customer for a flight to Montego Bay, Jamaica for 16 days, as is customary, I made the AMEX offer to her.
Customer: "Oh, I can't do anything right now - I'm unemployed! You do understand, don't you?"
Ummm, OK, I understand that you can't apply for a credit card right now, but, NO, I don't understand how the vacation you just booked relates to, "I can't do anything!!!"



* I got a call from a customer making a flight reservation in behalf of someone else...
Me: "Would he prefer a window or aisle seat, if available?"
Customer: "Oh...just not a middle! He'll needs an aisle. He is pretty heavy - He's a priest!
Me: (trying to control my laughter) "OK, lets find him a good aisle seat!"
(Now...should that be self-explanatory to me? Is it common knowledge that priest = heavy? Something else I didn't know!)



* I was helping an older gentleman book a flight for himself & his wife. He asked me to repeat what I said quite a bit, always apologizing to me that his hearing was not the best. We finally got an acceptable itinerary together and I quoted him the flight details and fares.
Me: "How does that sound for you?"
Customer: "Let me check with my bride of 54 years....THAT'S why I'm deaf!"

Things I've Heard on the Job: #1

As some of you may know, I work at JetBlue Airways as a Reservations Agent on the phones. When us agents get together, Oh, we have stories to tell!! All in a Day's Work. My family has also been amused by some of my "On the phones @ JetBlue" experiences I've shared with them, so I'm adding this as a segment to my blog. And depending on how much I work (I LOVE to take VTO) this will be a more or less occasional addition.

* Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is SUZANNE, how may I help you?"
Customer #1: "Hello, Cindy. How are you?...."
(another call) Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is SUZANNE, how may I help you?"
Customer #2: "Yes, Sally, I need to make a reservation...."
(another call) Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is SUZANNE, how may I help you?"
Customer #3: "Suzy, I have a question...."
(another call) Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue. My name is SUZANNE, how may I help you?"
Customer #4: "Thank you for helping me Sharon. Will you..."

* Customer: "Can we take a baby Iguana on the flight?"
Me: "We only accept cats & dogs as pets on the plane."
Customer: "Even if it's small?"Me: "That's correct. Iguanas are not approved to be on our planes."
(pause)
Customer: "What would happen if we took it in our pocket where no one could see it?"
Me: "The x-rays at the security check point may very well pick it up, and then TSA would decide what you'd have to do, but you would not be allowed through with the Iguana.
Customer: "Not that we would do that, or anything, I was just curious."
Me: "Of course." ;)

* During the Fall season, it is a common practice, Industry-wide, to lighten the flying schedule both through reduction of flights per day and cutting back from daily flights to only running it certain days of the week. This particular customer had previously been booked on a Tuesday, but due to schedule changes, this traditionally slow travel day's flight was no longer in service. He would need to choose the day before or the next available day...(And he was NOT happy!)
Customer: "This is not MY fault! What are YOU going to do about it, Cindy? It's YOUR fault. YOU need to get me that flight back. I didn't do anything wrong! It's YOU! Cindy, how are YOU going to fix this problem? YOU keep telling me all the other flight choices, don't you know how to say anything else? Don't tell me you'll 'reaccomodate' me, Cindy, that's not what I want. It's not MY fault. It's not. It's not. It's not! Why did YOU do this to me, Cindy? It's YOUR fault. That's what it is!"
Poor Cindy - Don't you feel sorry for her? :) Uh, huh...she, herself, singled John Doe out and forced the airlines CEO to purposely mess with his flight - just to make him miserable, of course!

* A customer was trying to make some flight arrangements for her father due to a death in the family. The Last minute fares were higher than she wanted to pay. She discovered that if they waited a few days to depart, they could get a much better fare. I overheard this conversation going on in the background while she still had me on the phone...
Customer: "Dad, if you wait to go on Wednesday, it'll cost a lot less."
"Dad": "That's too late, the funeral is on Monday."
Customer: "You can't pay $XXX.XX to fly out earlier."
"Dad": "But, I waaant to go then."
Customer: "What do you want to see a dead man for? He's not gonna know you missed the funeral!!"

* Customer: "Good thing you're dressed, I have video web cam!"
(Good thing I don't have a camera in MY office. And he obviously doesn't know that'd be required to successfully SHOCK someone with his comment.)But just for fun, I could've responded in a number of ways:
"Oh, you better get your eyes checked, because I'm NOT dressed!" OR

"Please turn yours off, I can't stand looking at you!" OR

"What d'ya think of my (take your pick) see-through/leopard print/black leather with metal spikes/barely there negligee?" OR

"No...it's really unfortunate for YOU that I am [dressed], because YOU'RE really missing out!" :)