How's The Dating Scene?

Matt & I were out together at a restaurant on Saturday evening. At first, there were no "neighbors" at the table next to us and things were going along quite normally. Then, a little bit later, another couple (maybe our same age or a little bit older, but I'm a bad judge of guessing age) was seated at the table next to us. It was the kind of seating arrangement where a long, padded bench went along the length of the entire wall, where the front windows were. And then multiple tables were dotted along the wall with a certain amount of spacing between them. So, someone from each table was sitting on this same bench and their dining partner was sitting across the table on a chair. I would guess that there was only about 2 feet between our table and our new "neighbors."

Because of this close(ish) proximity, the fact that this was the type of restaurant that played QUIET music, and that the woman was not "soft-spoken," we heard their first sentence to each other loud and clear, "So, do you work out?"

At the same time, Matt & I turned and gawked! Yep, we totally stopped our conversation and stared checked them out.
Then we looked back to each other, Matt smirked and mouthed the words to me, "FIRST DATE!"

My concentration was officially broken. Now, I wanted to know if the guy worked out! I listened. (He does. Five times a week, in fact. He either goes skiing or running.)

His very first question to her was even more conversation-stopping interesting, "So, tell me about your dating history/experience."

Matt & I were looking at each other with the same look, "Oh boy, that's a dangerous question!"

She proceeded to answer.

I had to force myself to stay looking straight forward as to not appear to be aware of them and their awkward getting-to-know-you chat.

She started out, "Well, the guys I've gone with, I've dated for a while...blah, blah, blah, blah...But, there's a couple of things...blah, blah, blah...Well, I'm a workaholic...blah, blah, blah...and the other thing is, I'm in a higher income, and some men are intimidated by that...blah, blah, blah" -- AWKWARD!

(At her last confession, Matt wanted to ask, "So, are you paying tonight?"

OK, Suzanne...focus. Focus. Don't look, don't laugh, and for heaven's sake, don't pipe in!

I blocked out the next few paragraphs, but I didn't miss her say, "I'd rather be single than unhappily married!" -- YIKES! Don't you wanna at least give off the attitude that you believe in marriage?

OK, back to our date. Talk, talk, ignore, try not to stare, ignore, and then another sentence is too easily overheard.

Who knows what led up to this, but she says, "My weight really fluctuates. My father is Italian, and his side of the family gets huge real easily." -- CRINGE! Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's misleading, but THAT is a "Family Secret" I'd try to hide as long as possible !
Now, I was curious as to where she was on her "fluctuating" scale currently. The high end or the low end? Was her Italian heritage taking control? I snuck a look. She was at the low end, quite skinny - just a little belly hanging over her pants. (I'm not one to talk!)


So, going on with their date - and our date - I guess she didn't want to stop now with the riveting questions, "Are you Mormon?" she asks.

I think I turned and actually looked this time.

He proceeds, "When I was 10 years old...blah, blah, blah...My parents were....blah, blah, blah...My "Ex" was...blah, blah, blah....And she didn't... blah, blah, blah..."
To which she replies, "I go up to the 'U' for church....blah, blah, blah...it helps me...blah, blah, blah"
(All the "blah, blah's" are things I'm not catching)
To which he replies, "Well...blah, blah, blah....I'm of the opinion of....blah, blah, blah..." I didn't catch all the good details this time, I think when their conversation turned to religion, it naturally go more hushed. But, from what I could gather with their tone & the general "atmosphere" between them, I'm pretty sure there was a difference in religion. -- UNCOMFORTABLE!During all of this, the waiter kept coming back to take their order, but they'd been talking so much, their menus had been neglected and were still on their table, closed. The waiter asked if they'd be ordering an appetizer.
They went back and forth, "Do you want an appetizer?" "I don't care, do you?" "Whatever" And then she announces, "It's up to him!" as she points to him -- ILL AT EASE! For, if he bags the appetizer idea, does this "higher income" woman think he's a cheapskate? Or, if he decides to order one, and orders something she doesn't like, he's struck out again. She may not want him to think that she can eat that much - an appetizer AND a meal, with her "Italian tendencies" and all. Nor does she want to add anything additional to the bill if he's paying.

I finally put up a pretend wall between our tables, by resting my chin on my hand and shielding my face with it, trying to spread it as big as possible, so I can separate more from them and their sticky moments. But, inevitably, something else in their conversation penetrates my "wall."

He asks her to tell him about her traveling interest. (It almost seemed like he had some background info on her - from an online dating site, perhaps?) She answers, "Well, I'd like to...blah, blah, blah...But, I've been trying to decide for the last few years if I should get my Doctorate or buy a house - because I can't do BOTH." -- STUMBLING! To which I wanted to say, "What do you mean? Don't you have a 'higher income?' Surely, you could afford to do whatever you want!"

The conversation turns to houses - namely her search for one. She says, "I didn't like this...blah, blah, blah...and they all have blah, blah, blah...and the houses don't have...blah, blah, blah...There just isn't a house that I like." He suggests a few things and areas, to which she had a rebuttal for. Then, he jokingly gives the "throw-in-the-towel" motion and says, "Oh, FINE, I'm not seeing you again! HaHaHa." -- EMBARRASSING!

But, I wondered just how TRUE his "sarcastic joke" really was. If I were the guy on that date, and I wasn't, I wouldn't have been impressed with her at all! Nor would I be asking her out again! Maybe even cut Saturday night's date SHORT!

It all just made me so glad that I was not them!

I'm glad I can be comfortable when I go out on a date with Matt!

I don't have to worry about whether or not to order an appetizer -- Because I KNOW he always wants one. He like them all. And if I only eat a few bites - no problem - he'll devour the rest.

We're the same religion.

I don't have to analyze WHAT I should order - and what he'll think of me for ordering it - because no matter what, I'm not gonna look like a PIG. He'll always eat MORE than I do, and will do it twice as fast!

And, he'll trade me meals if I have "Buyer's Remorse." He's very good like that!

He already knows my "Family Secrets."

I don't have to worry about whether or not he's gonna hold my hand or kiss me -- He WILL! ;)

He [acts like he] doesn't care about my dating past :) and he knows I believe in marriage!

And, I don't have to worry about filling up every moment with talking, talking, talking just for filling-up-the-silences sake. In fact, we can just sit there and look at each other and let the couple next to us do the talking, while we give each other the, "Oh my word, could this get any more risky/unpleasant/graceless/delicate?" look. :D