It's Time for a New Lawn Ornament

Look what showed up in front of our home today....





With this will come a barrage of questions, no doubt. So, I thought I'd just put a stop to all the speculation/judgement/gossip and provide some of the answers/reasons to your inquiring minds right now.

1. ***This is the most important one*** A Bountiful Brave, like myself, just can't let my babies grow up to be Viewmont Vikings! (High School is just 9 months away for Ryan.) It's just not right. ;)


2. So far, we've gone through three different next-door neighbors - THREE! in each of the houses on both sides of us (for a total of 6) over the course of the 9 2/3 yrs. we've lived here...and my ego just cain't take it again if another were to move out on us (isn't it obvious by now that we are the cause?)...so, our plan is to BEAT them to it!


3. We're tired of getting the shaft on Halloween! We've consistently gotten a poor showing of Trick or Treaters (especially this year with the torrential down pour we experienced, but, Hey! that's still no excuse!) - because everyone is just too gosh darn lazy unmotivated to trek all the way up the hill to our home.


4. I've heard it's a sure way to get released from your church calling! (Besides these other two tactics we tried.)


5. We live on everyone's favorite running and biking Lane - and that's just not conducive to my all-blinds-open-walk-around-in-my-underwear lifestyle.


6. My children have lost every last of our 286 balls (again!) in our surrounding neighbors' yards/bushes, and we just can't bear to go knock on their doors for the 2,394th time to ask them to retrieve it for us.


7. My brother is my listing Realtor. Which means that's what he does for a job - ya know, that's how he earns his living.....and have ya heard lately how the housing market is doing in this lovely economy? So, the house-selling money hasn't been the best for him lately...So, I'm just tryin' to help out by giving him some more "business" - and calling it "charity!"


8. Going to this extreme is THE ONLY THING that forces me to clean my home - every day - all the time - no matter what - and keep it that way.


9. I figure with my current 4 children/10 year history with our elementary school, my turn for being PTA President is imminent - especially when my baby starts school in 3 years (when, at that time, I'll have a 5 children/13 yr. history.) And since I need that like I need a hole in my head, I gotta RUN while I can!


10. This home has "Baby Girl-making POWERS." Seriously. Before we moved here -- we couldn't make a girl to save our life! After moving here -- ALL girls! OK - True Story: This woman, who only had boys, but would LOVE to have a girl, suggested I let her and her husband "spend the night" at my home (while we went to stay somewhere else, of course!) because she wanted to partake of these "POWERS!" So, the reason we have to move? We've met our quota on the amount of drama/estrogen/tears/high-maintenance/hair struggles we can handle. We can't take any more chances!

So, there you have it. All very good, solid, reasonable answers. I hope I've satisfied your curiosity. Feel Free to contact "my People" if you have any more questions.