The Umbilical Cord Test

As mentioned previously, I am a Ranch dressing ALL-THE-WAY kind of gal.
No Thousand Island. No Italian. No French. No Caesar. No Thank You! Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing from the packet only. (Yes! I AM a Ranch snob!)
And as such....my offspring are also lovers of Ranch....after all, they received it (plenty) directly through the umbilical cord and developed the taste (not that it HAS to be a developed taste - it's just automatically GOOD from the first time you try it!) Born with the addiction - except I like to use the word "fondness" better. Kind of like "Crack Babies" but mine are "Ranch Babies."

It's not JUST for salad, either! Did you know that? It's for dipping carrots, celery, zucchini, French Bread, Garlic Bread, rolls, bread sticks, pizza, chicken nuggets/strips/tenders, fries, too-well-done steak, crackers, chips, burritos, Taquitos, Mozzarella Cheese sticks, mushrooms, cauliflower, broccoli, tator tots, baked potatoes, Jalapeno Poppers, pretzels, sandwiches.....HECK, it even makes Spaghetti somewhat edible!

I've always joked about, but believed in, my getting-it-through-the-umbilical-cord theory about my offspring. While discussing this the other day with my family, I remembered something I ate often while pregnant with Kyle.

THIS:

Yep, I went to Sam's Club and bought me a whole case of this deliciousness and put it in my freezer. EVERY afternoon, after I survived the morning with my toddler and put Ryan down for his afternoon nap, I rewarded myself with ONE.

And, DO YOU KNOW WHAT?!? I only gained 17 pounds that whole pregnancy! AND I lost 30 pounds just by giving birth to Kyle. You do the Math! I think I'm on to SOMETHING!!! Do you think I should patent the "Whatchamacallit Diet?" I think I need to go on it again now! :)

ANYWAY, During this above mentioned conversation, I bet Kyle that he would probably LOVE Whatchamacallits since he received them (plenty) directly through the umbilical cord.

"What cha WHAT?!?" he asked, confused.

And then I realized that I had deprived my son of this great goodness his whole entire [post-womb] life!

How could I?

Since he hadn't ever had one - and I had piqued his curiosity with my pregnancy story - he began badgering asking me all. the. time. about WHEN he could have the OPPORTUNITY to try one for himself. (my verbal assurances and watering mouth just weren't enough proof for him that THEY WERE GOOOOOD!) He wanted to take me up on my bet!

Eventually, I [convinced myself that it was a good idea to go to the store with The Terrible Two and her older sister] and bought some.

I was SURE he'd LOVE them.

This prenatal treat would send him down Memory Lane.

It would be a HIT.

I was CONVINCED it'd become his favorite candy bar.

I waited.

I was EAGER to share this bond with him again. (And to test the umbilical cord theory.)

AND.....

I was so PLEASED!

I was a PROUD MAMA!

I was thinking about Science Experiments again! Oh Boy!

And then I had to go and ask him if he liked it. If he liked it a lot. If it was THE BEST candy bar he'd ever tasted. If his mama was so smart about umbilical cords. And if he wanted to take his mama to Vegas (I'm good at betting). I finally asked if it had dethroned his 3 Musketeers from the #1 spot.

He broke it to me.

No.

It wasn't his favorite candy bar.

It wasn't even his next favorite candy bar.

It was only his 5th favorite candy bar. (Following 3 Musketeers, Twix, Hershey's bar, & Cookies & Cream Hershey's)

I'm bummed.

Maybe I waited too long to re-introduce him to it.

So, does that mean my Ranch Theory was all just pure coincidence, too? Everything I always believed....down the drain.

Oh well, looks like I'll be on the "Whatchamacallit Diet" alone! :)