Retirement

This month of MAY marks three different Retirement milestones in our family.

FIRST:
Ryan has decided to retire from Percussion.

At least in the school band sense. (His Final School Band Concert was last Wednesday.) He would just like to be more of a "Basement Bedroom or Garage Jam Session" type drummer. He still has HIGH HOPES he will get his own set one day. Remember his BIG DREAMS?


Truth be Told -- this makes me sad.

When he was entering Jr. High and was deciding on what instrument he wanted to play, practically EVERYONE wanted to be a Percussionist. But the Band Director didn't want JUST ANYONE to be a Percussionist, so he made them go through a "tryout." There was a screening test, to weed out the "non-oriented musicians" basically. I still remember being in the Band room the day of the test and watching Ryan just writing answers down fluently and breeze through the test --and then seeing another girl just staring up at the ceiling, gnawing on her pencil, seeking for the answers by way of divine intervention, or something! Anyway, there were over 40 students vying for a Percussion spot back then. Only eight were chosen. Ryan was one of them. (He could FINALLY thank me for all those years of piano lessons I made him take!) I'm of the opinion that since he made it IN to such an ELITE group, he should stay IN. But, he says he's done now. sniff, sniff. Sometimes it's hard to let them make their own choices.

SECOND:
Haylee is retiring from Dance.
...after just two years. (Her last dance recital was 2 weeks ago) She says she's a baseball, soccer, and swimmer girl.

{Haylee: in the standing group of 3, left side}

Truth be Told -- this makes me sad - and glad.

On the one hand, we were on the waiting list for a looonng time before we were able to get in with this teacher. So, I think she should consider herself LUCKY and stay put. On the other hand, she fought me EVERY week! Because of this, she was LATE every week. She rebelled against the dance dress code (she'd change in the studio's bathroom into [non-approved] clothes she'd smuggled in her dance bag.)

{story detour}

One day, she didn't make it home from school on time to go to dance, so I just grabbed her dance bag and set out in the car to find her along the route. **She has insisted that her dance bag was ready the night before when I asked her.** However, my kids have a habit of answering in the affirmative to many questions their Mom asks them. "Have you cleaned your room?" "Have you practiced the piano?" "Did you put on a new pair of underwear?" "Is your homework done?" "Did you flush the toilet?" They know it's the fastest way to shut their Mom up! So, when I found Haylee and told her to change in the car, she started protesting greatly that she didn't have her dance clothes in her bag - at least the ones she likes. Now, I don't know HOW this happened, since she [said she] had completely prepared the night before. It's such a MYSTERY!!!!! There was a leotard, a pair of tights, and ballet shoes in the bag, though. PERFECT! Right?!? WRONG! She hates leotards. I told her to just put it on and she could wear her T-shirt she'd worn to school over the top since I was on my way to dance already and I wasn't turning back. She did. Fast Forward to AFTER dance class. When she came out, I noticed that the tights were kinda hangin' low on her in the crotch. I looked....and I thought....That's weird. Shouldn't her leotard be holding those tights up?...and I looked again....and I saw THERE WAS NO LEOTARD! Just tights over her panties and her T-shirt! I asked her teacher if she was just wearing tights and panties for the class that day.

"YEP!" the teacher confirmed.

"She was in a dance leotard when I dropped her off!" I explained, horrified.

"She went straight to the bathroom when she arrived," the teacher informed me. "I noticed, but I didn't want to say anything, and bring attention to it, in case the other girls didn't notice...so that's how she stayed through the whole lesson."

((Nice Teacher))

When we got back to the car, I asked her where her leotard was. She screamed, "I HATE LEOTARDS!"

"More than dancing in your panties in front of your whole class?" I asked.

Now it was her turn to be horrified. Apparently, she assumed the T-shirt would cover her all up. You know what they say about assuming.....

{end of detour}

She also refused to wear make up for recitals and pictures. There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth EVERY week! (by both of us). So, it's a good thing, right?!? It'll save me about $300.00, too! Sometimes it's hard to let the child assert themselves - especially when it's against you.

And FINALLY:
There's me. I've retired from "Healthy Habits" Challenges. There was another one starting this week, but I did not join. It's the first one I've declined over the last 2 1/2 years. (Matt already informed me after the last one that I was not allowed to be on a "challenge" during our upcoming all-inclusive [READ: Lots o' Food] Cancun vacation in June.)

But, then again, I've reached the "finish line." I don't need it. Just look at my results.

BEFORE

AFTER

Pretty AMAZING, isn't it?!!!?

Actually, in all the FIVE TIMES I've done the "challenge" I've only received cash winnings ONCE. I got 3rd Place in one of them which awarded me $10. TEN [lousy] BUCKS. Exactly the same amount of the entrance fee, so it was just "a wash." So, I'm going into retirement.

Ya know what's funny? OR sad? During one of the "challenges" I was actually doing Weight Watchers (official program), but I lost the exact same amount of weight that time as I did the next time when I was NOT on Weight Watchers. Now what is wrong with this picture? And on my most recent 8 WEEK "challenge", I lost some weight - not an impressive amount by any means - but still, it was something. But, then it all came back on the moment I ate a Mimi's Cafe muffin the week the "challenge" was over.

And that's how My Retirement came about.

Now, who's to say I won't be like Brett Favre -- and come back -- 32 more times, but for now Excuse Me, I think I hear someone (something?) calling my name....