Inquiring Minds Want to Know ;)

7 yr. old Brookelle was feeling a bit under-the-weather, so she spent the good part of the day lying down in our bed - because she says we have the most comfy bed in the house (AND the fact that there's a T.V. in our room doesn't hurt, either, I bet! ;))
ANYWAY, she was just takin' it easy on our bed.

Then she started rearranging the pillows on our bed and she picked up one of our throw pillows, and looked at it.
Then she looked at it longer.
Then she turned it over and looked at the other side.
Then she wrinkled up her eyebrows and stared at it some more.

This is the pillow that we have on our bed that was in question:

 

FINALLY, she declared, "I don't get it!" 

I, seeing what pillow she was examining, played oblivious (she IS only 7 yrs. old!) and asked, "What?!?  It's a pillow." 
She replied, "I know.  But, I don't get it!"
Me: "It's a pillow with words on it.  Can you read it?"
B:  "Yes.  'Tonight.' (then turns it over) and 'Not Tonight'."  Why's THAT written on a pillow?  What does it mean?" 

At this point, some of her older siblings were in the room witnessing this and they start giggling, and getting a real kick out of the situation.  Then they start saying things like, "You'll find out when you're older" or "You don't need to know yet"....which only makes Brookelle more frustrated. 

Then Brookelle demands/half-whines [in her sickly state], "Tell me what it is!" 
So, then Matt explains, "When the pillow is on the 'Tonight' side, mom wants me to kiss her.  If it's on the 'Not Tonight' side, then I shouldn't kiss mom."
B: "What does it REALLY mean?"
Everyone: "That's what it means!"
B: "I still don't get it.  Because WHY would mom EVER put it on the 'Not Tonight' side?"
Matt: "My sentiments EXACTLY!"  

;)  

Five Words

One of the main things I took away from the "Queen of the Kingdom" conference last weekend was about WORDS.

Words are so important.

Right from the beginning of the conference, our presenter/mentor wanted us to write down just three words on our name tag that we wanted to be....it was just to get our mind starting to think in that direction.
There's so many words - and we could choose ANY of the hundreds of thousands that exist in our English language EXCEPT we were not allowed to choose "uptight," "rigid," or "controlling."  ;)  Those were words that had she had drawn the "no symbol" (ya know that red circle with a diagonal line through it?) on her giant post-it paper pad up front, because those traits ruin our femininity and are not characteristics of a "queen."

Later, we practiced saying general declarations that were written in our class book, out loud, with the group, to get us used to saying positive words about ourselves.
We even got to "play with" (draw from it's sheath and raise above our heads) a Gandalf-esque sword

while declaring, "I am a goddess of truth and light!"  Having a sword makes a difference, I tell ya!  (you should try it!)  It gives you the feeling that you've got power.  Like what you are saying is official, holds some clout!  ;)

Anyway, those were just some of the activities (there were many others) we did throughout the conference to get us in the frame of mind to choose words for ourself. 

By the end of the weekend, I chose five words.

Calm

Compassionate

Healthy

Energetic

Delightful

When I am going about my day; when I am wiping down the kitchen counters, while I put away clothes, when I'm on the phone with a not-so-happy customer at work.... I repeat this phrase to myself.  "I am a calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, delightful woman."  I have been saying it daily (sometimes multiple times).  My plan is to keep saying it a lot. 
When I don't feel like getting up early in the morning to go out exercising, I say it in my mind. 
When I look in the mirror, and I think, "bleh," I say it in my mind. 
The other day, when I was leaving the check out at Costco after I'd just purchased a large amount of items (who doesn't have a large amount of items when they go to Costco?) and had had some problems that came up while checking out, I heard the cashier greet his next customer after me, "How are you today?"  And I heard her reply loudly-enough-so-that-I-could hear, "Well, I was fine until I got in line behind that lady!"  I repeated my words (with emphasis on calm, compassionate, and delightful!) in my mind over and over and over the whole way out of the store, through the parking lot, while unloading all my stuff (that caused a long check out), and even after I got into the car!!  ;)
When I got really upset at home (no!) towards a particular person (who shall remain nameless) and situation, I said this phrase in my mind all evening!

I didn't choose the words calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, and delightful because that's what I believe I am....I chose them because I struggle to believe those things about myself.  And I can tell you, the more I have repeated that in my mind, the more calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic and delightful I have been able to feel in that moment.  Can it be that I am starting to believe them more?  It gives me strength to do things I might otherwise not have done.

These words can. change. me.
(Because that was another mantra of the conference, "For things to change, I must change.")

Just five words - out of thousands.

(Though, as I write this, it’s past meal time and I don't have any plans to make it and I let a stream of complaints and general disgruntlement flow out of my mouth earlier.  And there's the fact that I still haven't gotten around to doing some of our "SBL" outings this summer.  And when my son reminded me for the third (+) time that he STILL needs new soccer cleats due to his first game being in just 2 1/2 weeks, and my youngest [unedited] daughter asks why I have all those "red dots" on my chin…  I should have responded, “Because I’m HEALTHY…and ENERGETIC…and DELIGHTFUL…”)

So......

What are your words?

If You Confuse the Gas Pedal for the Brake.......

......you end up with this:

{And a traumatized teenager.}

It was a "Perfect Storm" that played a part in the "incident":

• The State of Utah says they can get a Learner's Permit when 15 yrs. old....so he's old enough to get a Learner's Permit, but not old enough to enroll in the actual Driver's Ed. class, yet.  (Which means he's just suppose to practice driving with his parents in the meantime.)
• He had only had three practice driving sessions under his belt so far; one in the church parking lot, two on a real road.
• His dad is not equipped with a voice that can carry with enough volume when yelling the word, "STOP!" or "TURN LEFT." OR with a quick reflex, in his state of shock, to reach over and crank the steering wheel away from the brick column.

Oh, the joys of having teenage drivers!
No wonder the cost of insuring a TEENAGE BOY is sky high!

To make it [kind of] a little bit funny.....on their drive (just a minute before the "incident"), they passed one of our son's friends who was walking home, and Matt yelled out the window (jokingly), "Sam, stay off the roads!"
Needless to say, when the brick column tumbled over, it made a very loud noise.
Sam heard it, but didn't see it, from down the street where he was still walking and he (jokingly) texted our son, "What was that noise? Did you run over another curb?" (because that's what happened on a previous practice drive).
Our son later texted him back, "Not quite."

This is Not Going to Sit Well with Someone

Today is Kyle's "half-birthday," and as such, we performed the traditional (and ceremonious) measurement of his height, and marked it on the growth chart.

As you can see, his line is now JUST A SMIDGE higher than his older brother's line!!!
{due to growing 1 1/2 inches in the last 6 months, and 4 inches in the last year}

Now, of course, it's been a whole year since Ryan has been measured since he's been away on his mission for 8 months, and the 4 months before that was one huge whirlwind with High School graduation activities/mission prep/last family vacation/last ever family photo with our family as we know it/bidding farewell to dozens of his friends when they left on their missions.....

So, who knows?  Ryan MAY HAVE grown some more in our absence.
But, if NOT.......Kyle is SO PLEASED with his current standing!  ;)

And he's convinced that he is going to pass up his [6'3"] dad.  Lately, so many people have made comments to him that he is totally starting to resemble Matt, so naturally, he assumes he'll end up as tall or taller than his dad.  Ha!  I seriously doubt that!  Because first of all, he has ME as his mom (a mere 5'3") but also, way back when, I took note of the height predictor test.  (The one where you take a boy's height at age 2 and double it to get their future full height).  And, according to that, he's only going to be 5'8" (which is right where he's at).  According to the "test," his older brother's potential isn't much better at 5'9" but it would be one inch taller than Kyle, so that's mostly what matters in their minds!

I intend to write about this fun little "happening" in my next weekly letter to Ryan......and I already know what the reaction will be!  :)
Horror
Disbelief
Displeasure
Disturbing
Annoyance
Pain
Mental Torment
Justification
Denial


I just hope this news doesn't knock him off his "game" to the point that he becomes disabled in his missionary work!  ;)

***************************
POST-EDIT NOTE:  Ryan promptly replied to my letter stating, "I want to see pics (proof) Kyle has passed me up!"

Did I call it, or what?!?  haha  ;)

Don't You Wish I Was Your Mom?

Haylee's Jr. High Science teacher was offering extra credit to any of her students who came to the "Moon viewing" to see the TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE at the school on Wednesday morning.....from 5:15-6:15AM.

But, ya always gotta take advantage of extra credit!

Matt was leaving really early in the morning anyway to take his parents to the airport, so the plan was for him to drop her off at the school, while I stayed home (ASLEEP IN BED) with our other children.

Her school doesn't start until 8:10a.m., so we talked about what she was going to do in between the moon viewing and school.  She just matter of factly told me that she would just walk back home.
Uhhh.....I DON'T THINK SO!  I put the brakes on that suggestion real fast.  It's still pitch dark at that time!  Did she really think that'd be a good idea?

She needed to do some catch up work in the keyboarding lab, so we talked about her doing that - except the lab doesn't open until 7:00a.m. so there was still some time unaccounted for.  Kyle was pretty sure the janitors get there that early, so he said the school would be unlocked.  She decided she would just go into the school and "hang out" until she could get into the lab.

Well, my eyes popped right open at 5:45a.m. and they were already gone, but I started to question whether or not she fully understood our plan for the morning.  And I became restless.  Then I thought, "Wonder if the school is still locked?  Wonder if all the lights are OFF in the school when she goes in?"  I couldn't go back to sleep.  Her comment about "just walking home" kept coming into my head.  That did it.  There was no chance I was falling asleep again. 

So, I got up.  I was driving over to the school.  I figured I'd just walk into the backyard of the school, find her, talk through the plan, and confirm that the school was open, etc.  It was still dark, so I figured I'd just go in my pajamas to save time.  At the last minute, I opted to change my PJ bottoms for my yoga capris instead....to be a little more presentable?

It turns out, the moon viewing was done by the time I got there, and no one was in the backyard anymore.  I talked to other kids who were outside and they told me that a lot of kids were in the school......

So, picture this;  I enter the Jr. High School wearing my pajama top, covered by a zip front hoodie (to cover up the fact that I was NOT wearing a bra), yoga capris, and flip flops.  I had just put on my glasses so I could see and had left without doing ANYTHING else, including looking in the mirror.  I had fresh BED HEAD and who knows what leftover make-up was smeared around my eyes or across my face.  I didn't think anything about it (I had only been thinking about saving Haylee from walking home in the dark) UNTIL I entered the front doors of the school and I saw many Jr. High students (a lot more than I expected!) hanging out all over in the commons area - and I saw their eyes turn to look at me.  THAT'S the first time I thought about HOW I looked.  Uh Oh!  (THAT'S the difference between women in their 40's & Jr. High students!)  I looked like a real beauty, I'm sure!

I proceeded to walk through the halls of the Jr. High and actually found her pretty quickly.  She was laying down on a bench (she got up at 4:20a.m.!) with a couple of friends.  When she saw me, she instantly became alert and she sat up and exclaimed, "MOM!  What are you doing?"  as the two other girls looked on.  I reminded her NOT to try to walk home that morning, and she was like, "I KNOW!  I'm not going to - you already told me I couldn't."  I went over the plan with her - while her friends watched & listened with fascination - and it turns out she had it all under control!  So, I turned around and walked back out of the Jr. High, passed the groups of other students with their stares, and drove back home.

I have a feeling there were some conversations going on amongst the kids about something to the effect of, "WOW!  I wish my mom would come to school like THAT!"  ;)

Bwah ha ha ha ha

Our Glover Lane Home

After we first moved to our new home [almost] two years ago, I used drive in & out of our neighborhood via the route that would take me by my old home - our "Glover Lane Home" as we call it.

But, not so much anymore.

Because I kinda get sad about what's become of it.

It was purchased by a couple who had no intention of ever making it "their home."  They were only interested in buying an "investment."  Although, they did live in it for a short time to justify the type of loan they got on it, it's mostly been inhabited by renters.

I find myself being protective of our "Glover Lane Home" and I notice the details of things that are "wrecking" it - like they sprayed some yellow foam stuff in all the driveway cracks, and it's oozing out and looks.....SO not good!  But, hey! that same driveway is full of snazzy, new cars; a red truck, a Cadillac, & black sports/luxury cars.  (I'm afraid that's where their regard [& money] goes.)  I cringe when I see all the things that the various renters are letting slide.  Overgrown plants, weeds, dead grass - not that we are champion gardeners by any means - SCREAM out to me, We don't love this house.  And that's sad to me because we did (in fact,  I love it! are the exact words I exclaimed the moment our Realtor let us in to look at it all those years ago) - and I want it to continue to be loved!  Sure, we ultimately outgrew it, and there were things [functionally] that were a nuisance, it didn't meet our needs anymore, that's why we built & moved, but I'm talking more about the HOME we loved.  The HOME which holds our history, memories, & hearts.  How could it not?  We lived there for 11 1/2 years!

My friend & I sometimes walk by it on our morning walks, which we did this week, and like always, I check it out - any signs of love, attention, concern?  I wonder if she notices that she kinda "loses" me in our conversation at that moment we pass it?  It's weird....I KNOW, in my brain, it's my old home, but it's almost like it doesn't even seem like it.  It's changed.  It doesn't look as bright to me anymore.  It's more somber & drab.  (Although, to others not emotionally attached, it may still look the same?)  Our kids have wondered aloud, if we ever drive by, what it looks like on the inside, now.  Kyle, especially, wants to devise a way that he could walk through it again.  The curious part of me also wonders and wants to take a look, but the other part of me doesn't - I might want to keep everything in my mind just the way I remember it!

 {last photo as we drove away in 2012}

The day we moved all our stuff out, we were racing against a deadline and we didn't have a ton of time to get all sentimental and pay tribute to every room & such...AND we were sweating so much, I don't think there was any liquid left in my body to cry.

BUT, I still thought:

How could I let that thing go?  

How can I let go of where all my daughters learned to walk?

They each learned to grab hold of the cabinet knobs & drawer pulls and "play" (read: empty everything out of) with the measuring cups, pots, water bottles, Tupperware containers that were inside.

How could I walk away from that kitchen where I prepared ten thousand meals, my children at my side (read: under my feet)?

My children built a gazillion forts and we had hundreds of Family Home Evenings in our living room.

There was the "time out" corner over on the staircase landing, that fit our time out bench perfectly, we used A LOT! 

There were the stairs where a the children slid down laughing gleefully in sleeping bags or pillow cases.....and where brothers would chase/run from each other making the loudest pounding noise as they barreled down - which then, unfortunately, sometimes ended in a crashing sound as frames were knocked off the wall at the bottom.

We finished the basement, painted every room, remodeled one big bathroom into two separate bathrooms, and replaced all the flooring except for one room in that house while we were there!

There were big dormer window seats where the kids liked to sit upon & hang out.  Kyle split his head open on one of the windowsills.  The boys learned to shoot a basketball pretty darn well in that hoop we once had attached to the house (before the incident), then was replaced with a driveway basketball hoop.

We had 11 Christmases there.  59 Birthdays.  Brought home 3 new babies.  3 Baptisms.  4 Priesthood Ordinations.

    {Miss B's 1st Birthday - May 2009}

That home is where we built our family.

Back in Layton & North Salt Lake & Brigham City where we lived for six years before we moved here is where we were seedlings.  We had just the two boys.  We rented from apartment to apartment, and lived in a "starter home" too far north in Davis County for our liking.  We weren't ready to settle.

But when we got to the "Glover Lane" one, we put down our roots.

And it's filled to the very brim with memories that have made our lives rich and beautiful. 

There will always be a special spot in our hearts for that great home of ours we grew together in.

It's where we became "US."

There's a lot to say about a home and how it molds a family.

I'm so grateful that one that took care of us for so long.

{And, yes!  we love our new home with all our hearts, too.  (In case you were starting to doubt.)  The memories have already started heaping up in this thing.  Our next chapter is going to be amazing, as well.}

So, that's why I feel melancholy when I see the house these days - it appears they don't appreciate it the way I do.  I feel like the renters will just keep moving in & out, then eventually move on and forget about it.  I hope that someday it will be sold to a family who will be able to own it and live in it and love it again.
It just dawned on me that my feelings for our "Glover Lane" home might stem from one of my favorite childhood books, The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton.

This house went through a period of being loved, then neglected, then loved again.  The ending always made me so happy when the great-great-granddaughter of the man who built the house found it and bought it.  Once again it was lived in and well taken care of.

Maybe that can happen to our "Glover Lane Home" too!  :)

Realization Strikes

FIRST, it is the sad truth we no longer have something very darling/delicious/dreamy in our home.  Not a single ONESIE (the absolute cutest, most adorable, easiest to put on (even for men!), biggest I-just-want-to-squeeze-your-irrisistable-chubby-legs-coming-out-of-the-onesie, piece of baby attire EVER!!) is to be found.
Especially some that are floating around the internet these days....and it's like a little punch in the gut knowing I have no use for it/can't buy it:

 {Oh! Those thunder thighs!  Just tell me you don't want to squeeze!}

SECOND, I walk by the nursery at church.....and I keep on walking.  After all those years of dropping off and picking up AND stopping to peek in the window "just to check" on my child, now I don't - and never will again.  There's NO REASON to look in through the window anymore.  But, sometimes I do just because........well, I have no idea WHY?!?   It's weird.  I'm not part of THAT club anymore.

THIRD, it was the realization that I no longer need to shop in the infant & toddler section of the stores - I just pass right on by.  What?!?  I've been browsing that department for the last 19 years!  And I almost can't stand it.  PLEASE!  Invite me to your baby showers, so I can go back!!


But, FINALLY, the strangest thing of all - the thing that REALLY hit me - was when my daughters brought home that demographic/contact info/profile thing-a-ma-jig-er form that we HAVE TO FILL OUT LIKE THREE TIMES A SCHOOL YEAR, and there's a section on that form where we are suppose to list all preschool age & younger children living in our home (so they can plan for future student body numbers).  I have ALWAYS written names here.  But, now there are NONE.  NADA.  For the first time EVER - in the 75 forms I've filled out during the years - I left those lines BLANK.

Yep.  I'M IN UNCHARTERED TERRITORY!  (for me)

It's Not All it's Cracked Up to Be

My son is now 18 years old.

That means he's officially an adult.
(at least that's what he's been telling me.)

So, he had a Dr. appointment the other day, and I just dropped him off at the building entrance while I went to park the car (since we don't have an extra car anymore, I had to drive) and I moseyed on in about 5 minutes later.  It didn't matter, because he's now an adult.

BECAUSE he's now an adult, he can check his own self in at the Dr. office.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he also has to sign all "consent to treat" and other like papers himself.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he can speak up for himself, he doesn't need his mom to answer for him.

BUT THEN, the moment I walked into the office, the two gals at the front desk asked, "Are you Ryan's mom?"

"Yes."

So, then they waved me on over to them and started going through the whole 9 yards with ME.

I reminded them, because I'm sure they already knew, that he is 18 yrs. old now. (after all, doctors always seem very interested in their patients' DOB - they ask it a few dozen times in the paperwork, over the phone for I.D. and in person, too.)

I found out later why.

Ryan told me the initial interaction went like this - he said he felt like an idiot:

Do you have a co-pay?

I don't know.

What insurance do you have?

I don't know

Do you have medical insurance?

I don't know.

When was the last time you were seen in our office?

I don't know.

Do you know your family medical history?

No.

Well, you'll have to fill out a new information chart.

OK.  

(And then he walked away, without the forms, and sat down in the waiting room - and that's where I found him when I walked in.)

They gave ME the stuff to fill out - and I promptly handed it over to him.
After he was done filling out the information - it's on an electronic tablet these days, with a stylus AND advertisements for drugs pop up when you're moving between screens.  What the what?!? - he signed his own name (he redid it about 5 times - to get his 1st official adult signature just right, ya know!)

I think he liked how it felt, doing such an "adult" thing, and he returned the tablet back to the front desk feeling good and less like an idiot than before.

AND THEN, they asked him for the money for the co-pay of the visit.

At which point, he had to call, "Mom!" (I looked up from my book, minding my own business in the waiting room), signal me to come up to the front desk, and have me open up my purse to take care of the transaction.

Man, being an adult means you actually have to do stuff - and know stuff - and pay for stuff!
Psfff!  It's for the birds!  ;)

**********
For the record, I did NOT go back into the exam room with him.  I let him field all the Dr.'s [awkward & personal] questions on his own, as well as show his back side to the Dr. in private.  ;)  And he got poked with various needles WITHOUT me holding his hand!
I had to let him regain his [adult] dignity somehow!  ;)

Resolutions Report

I know, I know.....January is already A THIRD of the way over and I haven't even made my New Year's Resolutions for 2014, yet!  What a slacker.  ;) 
I'm hesitant to do it.....and I think I know WHY.  It MAY have something to do with the fact that I already KNOW I wasn't even 100% on my last year's ones!
I wrote them on this blog o' mine, to hold myself accountable, so it's not like I could just "forget" about them ever existing!  {darn}

But, maybe I have to "close out" 2013 before I can move on to 2014???
So, here's the "Report."

1. Invite another couple to go out to dinner with us every month 
THIS one was suppose to be a FUN goal!  And it was......when we could get another couple to accept our invitation, that is!  ;)

THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIMES:

Page's

Sears'

Maxwell's

Knudsen's

Badham's

Lacy's

Waters'

Peterson's

Bryson's

Wood's

It actually turned out to be really tricky....and I hadn't expected it to be!  

At times, I had a High School Flashback - like I was getting turned down for dates, and all!  (Not that I asked too many people out on dates in H.S., but all those awkward/vulnerable/rejection/uneasy/wanting-to-be-accepted gumbo feelings are all related)  Matt, the eternal optimist, would try to tell me that people's schedules are just busy and it's hard to always match up with ours.  And, also, that a surprising number of couples are not even used to going out on weekly, or even monthly, dates.  I, on the other hand, assumed it meant that all these people who had excuses weren't able to go would rather poke needles in their eyes than go out with US!  (Is it ME?  Is it MATT?  Or is it the combination of the two of us?)  We take showers, and Matt wears cologne!!  (maybe THAT IS the issue? ;))
Report:  So, we actually were able to go out with another couple 11 out of the 12 months this year.  
BUT, I will confess; one month, we got invited - by relatives - and we "counted" it anyway.  The other month we missed, we happened to be at Station Park on the very last day, and we ran into some others we knew, and we sat together at an outdoor table to eat our treats, and talked for just a little while.....Matt thinks we should "count" that, too, and call it 100% accomplished!  
But, I'm more.....shall we say, "exact" in observing the rules, so if you ask me, I don't count either of those, and we only had 10 out of 12 for 83%.  
BUT, on the other hand, if you read the wording in the goal, it actually says TO INVITE another couple out, not actually TO GO (I just had the misconception that the two would go hand in hand).  So, looking at the goal LITERALLY, we WERE 100% in our inviting - even 110% - because sometimes we invited multiple couples before we got any takers.  So, YEA, check that one off, after all!?!

2. Get ready IN THE MORNING
I thought this one would be hard....and it was.
There is such a PULL for me to just hit the ground running in the morning to get things done - and getting ready just seems to get in the way of all that!  So, I really had to force myself to do this against my own natural urges.
Report:  I did this usually 5 out of 7 days (with Saturday frequently being the day I didn't)  So, I was about 71%.  Which is 5X better than it was before I started this goal! says Matt, the eternal optimist.  But, it's still not an instinctive habit.  {dang}

3. Write more on my blog
Even thought I really enjoy this one....it was hard to get it done!  There were too many days that had no blogging time in them. 
Report:  I had a frequency in my head, that I kept quiet - AND was super lofty, of how often I wanted to write on my blog.  Did I reach that number?  No.
BUT, again, if you read the wording in the goal, it actually says to write MORE.  So, looking at the goal LITERALLY (and the yearly count blogger so conveniently adds up for me) I did indeed write more than in 2012 and in 2011!  So, check it off?  Sure! says Matt, the eternal optimist.....or is that defined as a "short cutter?"  ;)   

4. Healthier Lifestyle
OK.....remember how I was going to introduce a new healthy thing per month and write on my blog about it?  Well, I did it in January, February, and March.....and then STOPPED!  Well, I stopped writing about it after March, and I stopped doing anything new one month later, in April.  I didn't even get to the "eat breakfast" month or the "reduce soda" month, let alone the "control your condiments/toppings" month or "more sleep" month.  (Probably because I knew they were too lofty?!?)
Report:  I sucked it up on this one.  Even though, I planned and announced my new thing those first few months, I never did do well at weight lifting in February, so I give myself a 16%.  And that's not even me being my usual "hard on myself/holding myself to high expectations" self!  That's the cold, hard truth.  Matt even has no comment.

5. Make new recipes out of ward cookbook
This totally should've been easy, and yummy....but I kinda forgot about it for the majority of the year, AND I had a heck of a time finding coconut pudding mix! (pina colada dip)
Report:  Buffalo Dip - check!
Famous Dip - check!
Pina Colada Fruit Dip - not until just last week, so it was already 2014....and since this was a 2013 goal, I was 66%.  (But, Matt would tell me to "count" it, of course!)  ;)

Final Verdict?  According to me:  I flopped!  According to Matt:  I achieved!
So, now that I've analyzed it all and "talked through" the rulings some, MAYBE I CAN do something for 2014.....

It is with great reluctance, I present to you my goals for the new year:
 
I saw THIS on Pinterest which I'm interested in, so here goes:

5 BOOKS I WANT TO READ:
(Let's go with the ones that are on my shelf right now)
She Got Up Off the Couch (a sequel to the one I was reading back here)
Reached
Fairy Godmothers, Inc.
The Book of Mormon (before our "Moroni's Quest" Youth Conference in June)
My Story (Elizabeth Smart)

4 PLACES I WANT TO SEE:
Nauvoo, IL
Cape Canaveral, FL (specifically the Ron Jon Cape Caribe Resort)
the different islands in Hawaii (via cruise?)
Disneyland

3 THINGS I WANT TO DO:
Be in the family cast of the Nauvoo Pageant
Finish Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Brookelle
Fill those empty spaces in our home with furniture & finally hanging things on the walls.

2 THINGS I WANT TO LEARN:
Gluten-Free baking/cooking
How to do a photo slideshow with music

1 THING I WANT TO CHANGE:
Give more compliments/encouragement to others.


There was also THIS ONE on Pinterest that I thought I'd do.  (some things are the same as above)

A BAD HABIT I'M GOING TO BREAK:  Staying up late (when I don't HAVE to because of work)...just to do [sometimes frivolous] things like surfing the internet, late-night T.V., and "getting one more thing done."  {Don't look at the time stamp of this post!} ;)

A NEW SKILL I'D LIKE TO LEARN:  See questionnaire above

A PERSON I'D LIKE TO BE MORE LIKE:  Jesus Christ - particularly His attributes of being calm, non-judgmental, & patient.  (Did I just describe Matt?  I believe I did!  Opposites attract?!?)

A GOOD DEED I'M GOING TO DO:  Keeping this one to myself....I want it to be anonymous!  ;)

A PLACE I'D LIKE TO VISIT:  See questionnaire above

A BOOK I'D LIKE TO READ:  See questionnaire above

A LETTER I'M GOING TO WRITE:  Maybe my OWN MISSIONARY SON? (possibly at the end of the year?)  If not, my Young Women at church or my children's Primary teachers - ANY or ALL.

A NEW FOOD I'D LIKE TO TRY:  Korean or Indian - our neighbors said they know some good places to take us!

I'M GOING TO DO BETTER AT:  Exercising in the winter.  My friend has recommended Bikini Body Mommy.  Apparently, it has a work out every day - and it started on Jan. 6th.....and I am going to start sometime....anytime now!  ;)

I shall look back on this post next year and either be really proud of myself....or extremely disappointed...

WHAT 2014 GOALS DO YOU HAVE?

The Last of a First

MY BABY lost her first tooth today!

Except BABIES don't lose teeth.....

Which means......

She's probably NOT a baby anymore....???

It is kind of alarming to think about.

All of a sudden it was hard for me to swallow.

Should I cheer?

Or should I cry?

It felt quite eerie to me.

I have had "LITTLE CHILDREN" for so long.....
(17 2/3 years to be exact)
...that somehow it seemed like I would have them forever....

And with the loss of a tooth....it's a sign that the "little" is on it's way out.

I've thought about the "someday" when I would no longer be in the "little" stage all these year a lot, no doubt - but it was always an unreachable future (far off future) date!

Basically, I never thought this day would come.

And it just did.

I kind of have a headache.

And my teeth are chattering.
(But that may be because it's 11:30 at night and I just drank a whole cup of ice cold water.)

I'm amazed.  And confused.
(Name that song & artist!)

Miss B was SO eager to show all her brothers & sisters as they came home from school one by one.
(She claims she can "whistle" out the hole, now.  It's more like a "blow", but whatever!)

I was really excited along with her as they each reacted with delight.....
And then I kinda wanted to pretend it didn't happen, too, all at the same time.

When I think about it, the "word" that comes to my mind is "Uh Oh" - as my eyes dart this way and that way and I wonder, Am I in the Twilight Zone?

It is an unfamiliar, mystifying place to be!

*******
In other news, the normally irresponsible, extremely tardy, down-right neglectful Tooth Fairy has already made the visit!  The money is waiting under her pillow as we speak (or write).

He's (she?) trying to redeem him(her?)self.

You see, I think the promptness & dependable behavior of the Tooth Fairy can be explained by the fact that at the very moment her actual tooth came out, I was in my office, with the door closed, working, and she was eating a corn dog in the kitchen (she bit into the stick, and out came her tooth!)  I heard a little cry/whimper, but then it stopped.  A minute later, she came into my office and got up into my face, with her mouth open (and a bit bloody) and let out a moan of sorts - to my surprise, she'd lost a tooth!  And THEN I realized I had MISSED it!  The last first tooth juncture of any of my children - GONE!  And then I berated myself.  I know!  Mother of the Year material right there.
(Although, if I were being realistic, losing a tooth happens away from home [& Mom] all the time.  My other children have lost them at school quite a bit, in fact.  Heck!  I lost my first tooth on the school bus - because I was biting on the seat in front of me. [gross!] )
But, still.....I expect MORE THAN reality.....it's a surefire way to go insane! 

Brace Yourself: My Sewing Machine was Put to Use Twice in a Week

The first time was last weekend.

And THEN I used it again just now!  (I know!  Amazing!)

To sew THESE all on:

{Interesting note about that chair the sash is on.....in the store, the chair looked just about the same color as that scout sash.  And then we got it home, and it was NOT.
You can see how much of a difference the colors are in that picture.}

BACK TO MY SEWING.....
In the exhibit above, if you'll count, you'll discover that there are 21 merit badges......

Which means what?

I'll tell you.

It just so happens to be the [minimum] amount one needs to earn the Eagle rank.

And if you look closer, you'll notice (or not if you're non-scout oriented) amongst those 21, includes all 12 of the "required" ones to become an Eagle Scout, too.

{When I first bought this sash way back when, it was so long that I had to fold, tuck, and pin it to fit the boy....

now we've had to let it all down.  He done went and growed up!}

Which means what?

I GUESS HE FINALLY WANTED TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE!?!?! 

{We set forth a rule.  A driver's license comes after you get your Eagle.}

How else will we know our children are responsible enough?  Mature enough?  Accountable enough? to get behind the wheel of a car.  (We decided this is one way to know.)

So then, this was the scene in our Living Room during the month of October....

.....while he was doing his Eagle PROJECT.  

Since we don't even have any furniture in there, yet, there was plenty of room for boxes, bags, & Bambi to take over the room!  ;)

For his project, he collected new & gently used DVDs for a Children' Hospital.
He got the brilliant idea from yours truly....who had heard something similar in the past from a friend.... 
But, on Haylee & I's most recent visit to the hospital, it was brought to my remembrance how much it is needed!  Haylee, at age 11, was finally to the point where she did very well during that particular visit, but as I watched all the other toddler-aged children (and their parents) around me struggling, my own past "nightmare" hospital/Dr. appts episodes came back to me.....I knew then that the hospital experience wouldn't work without all the various donations they receive (from dolls, to markers, to books, to crafts, to DVDs.)

So, the DVD drive was born.

THANK YOU to everyone who donated!

 The day came when he was able to deliver them to the hospital.  He ended up with over 240 DVDs to donate!

He felt pretty darn good about it that day.  I don't know if it had more to do with the good, warm, fuzzy feeling you get from helping/serving others OR if he was just SO GLAD/RELIEVED/EXCITED he was finally done!  (Got-the-monkey-off-his-back type thing.)

Congratulations, Ryan!

You were a part of history in the making!  You gave me a reason to get my sewing machine out...TWICE in the same week! 

******
But, can I just say it was a royal pain in the butt to STICK TO OUR GUNS of not letting him have his driver's license until he got his Eagle.  Because it was sooo inconvenient for me to drive him everywhere!  So, then I stopped doing that after a "grace period."  And then it was just plain inconvenient for me not to have an extra driver to help me out!
I don't know if he even learned anything from the consequence of not having a driver's license until age 17 1/2.......except that I AM SERIOUS.  I am a [wo]man of my word!

Hopefully, Kyle has watched & learned!

hopefully.

Anti-Girly Girl

I was SOOOO excited to finally get my first girl when Haylee was born 11 1/2 years ago.  There was WAY TOO MUCH testosterone floating around our home and I was the lone female in the middle of it up until  that time.

Yes.  She is a girl.  As in female.  But, by NO MEANS is she "girly."  In fact, she is turned off by all girlyness.

(although, like all three of my daughters, she DID go through a "dresses only" wearing stage around age 3.)

She still can not believe she wore them.

But I've got proof!  ;)

But that was THEN, this is NOW:

She STILL has never worn the pink jeans I gave her as a Christmas gift last year.

She NEVER wants to get her ears pierced.

She hopes she remains relatively {ahem} "flat."

I know she is like this.  But this latest thing she did really left me shaking my head, dumbfounded.

One thing she for sure is decided about is that she doesn't like to wear make up!  In fact, she has REFUSED - even for her dance recitals when it was strongly recommended by her teacher.

Case in point:

 And this was taken in the darkened auditorium....BUT the stage lights really wash the color out of their faces even more.

Here's one where you can see the comparison to her sister, who is 2 1/2 years younger, and is pleased to wear it, but not Haylee.

But that was like 4 years ago - she quit dance, too - it wasn't worth the fight.....AGAIN, it was too "girly".....she had to wear tights and stuff!!

So, most recently.....like yesterday, Haylee had decided she wanted to dress up like a "Hobo" for Halloween.  She was asking me what we would need to pull this costume together.  I told her we could put brown make up on her face to make her look dirty.

"WHAT?!?" she shrieked.

"Yeah, they have dirty faces.  It's just dressing up - a disguise - it's not who you REALLY are."  I tried to reason.  (Tried being the operative word there.)

"NO WAY!!" she protested.

"Then you won't even look like a Hobo," I informed her.

"Why can't I just put REAL dirt on my face?" she challenged back.

{huh?}  Me, silent, mouth open, trying to make sense of that.

"I can get some dirt right in our back yard!" she pleaded her case.

"So, you would rather rub your face in DIRT than wear make up?" I inquired.

"HECK YEAH!" she grinned.

{WHATEVER!!!}

So, that's exactly what she did.  She went and got dirt out of our still-flowerless-flower beds and applied it onto her face!

Complete with a little {real} dirt clod stuck to the side of her nose there.

AND....she just didn't "quite feel like" changing back into her regular clothes after the Halloween parade that she had taken to school .....so she just spent the rest of the school day in her very holey hobo jeans!!

I guess the "suitable" jeans she had packed were too "girly" after she got a taste of the grungy...?!?

Excuse Me While I Have a Little Freak Out

Guess where I went last night?

I still can't believe it myself.

I went to the Utah State University open house with my oldest to get some famous Aggie Ice Cream find out all about them, enter to win prizes..... 

AND TO APPLY FOR COLLEGE!

(But I DID enjoy me some Aggie ice cream, too.  

Sadly, the Aggie Blue Mint was all gone by the time we got there, though!)

AM I OLD ENOUGH to be sending my own offspring away to college?!?

Wasn't I just there myself?

 Along with my husband, too?

Didn't I just give birth to him?

 

Weren't we just spending our days on the couch in our apartment doing this?

 

Wait a minute!  He just started Kindergarten, didn't he?

And his Baptism was just the other day.

Didn't he just barely become a teenager?

Well, the fact that he went to the Homecoming Dance last Saturday,

most likely makes the answers to all those questions - a "NO!!"

But, I STILL can't believe it!  Only OLD people have college students, don't they?  I am a tad bit freaked out by this thought!!  It's already time to start making plans for his bedroom?  Hmmmm......A ladies workout room?  A music room?  A napping room?  A library?

There was one thing, a rude awakening,  that has really let us know that the years really HAVE  past by and things have changed.......back in my husband's day, he got the Presidential Scholarship (4 years tuition & fees all paid) at USU.  TODAY, with his same scores (GPA and ACT), he wouldn't even qualify!!  In fact, he would only be awarded the very lowest level of scholarship they give out for academics.  One that wouldn't even cover one semester!  You practically have to be perfect for the big scholarships these days.  

Otherwise, kids, get ready to pay out the BIG BUCKS!

Now Ryan's wishing he fought off his "brain-dead-teenage-boy-season-of-life" with MORE of a vengeance. 

All is not lost.  There are other scholarships he can go for - totally depending on how much work HE is willing to put in to applying/making a portfolio, etc.

He's still hangin' in there in his attempt to get the Regents Scholarship by taking AP Statistics, AP US Government, Biology, and Spanish 2 his Senior year (which aren't even required to graduate, but are required for this scholarship) instead of underwater basket weaving (or any frivolous classes) that his peers, who aren't trying for scholarships, get to take.

But, fortunately for him, because his AWESOME PARENTS are Utah State University ALUMNI, he can qualify for a small scholarship to attend there.

AND, there is even another [small] scholarship for VHS students who are children of Viewmont H.S. alumni!

Who knew there was actually a PRO to having a child of mine go to "Pee-yew"mont?!?  ;)

(my High School rival)

5th Grade Rite of Passage

A couple of weeks ago, Haylee brought home the permission slip for the Maturation Program at school.

When did she grow up?

I guess in my mind, because she is SO LITTLE (Just 50" tall and 57 lbs. at [almost] age 11) she is STILL a little girl.  AND the fact that her doll house still gets so much playing time from her.  AND that she loves for me to read her children's storybooks still.  AND that she always wants to lay her head on my lap in church and have me scratch/tickle her back and run my fingers through her hair - sometimes she even falls asleep while I'm doing this - although she INSISTS she doesn't ever need naps!  :)  AND that, due to her lingering speech impairment, she sounds like a little girl when she talks.  AND she has NOT caught "Bieber Fever" - there's no interest in pop stars at all, really - she doesn't even know most their names!

BUT, then there's the [practically daily] lashing out, the slamming of doors, the stomping around, the ripping drawers off their track because she yanks them open with such force, the screaming, the crying, the angry contortions her face makes, with the vicious look in her eyes......and then I'm reminded:  She is, in fact, closer to her teen years than she is to her young child years now.  

Matt already did the Maturation Program with Ryan and Kyle six and three years ago, respectively.......WHAT THE WHAT?!?  It's been that long since my first babies attended the BIG MEETING?!?

I'm forty-two years old, this shouldn't surprise me.  But it does.

Maybe it's because I can still vividly remember my own maturation program from elementary school.  I was just there, too, wasn't I?  Or maybe I remember it so well because of the bit of traumatic factor surrounding it.

The nurse who gave the presentation THIS YEAR to Haylee's class did a great job.  She explained that even a generation or two ago, these kind of things were not talked about, which made it feel scary or bad.  I totally agreed with her comment.

Back in my day, I didn't even know anything about a maturation program existing - no one ever told me - until I got the note announcing it.  At that time, other 5th Graders told me what it was, so then I was really nervous to give the note to my mom - and when I did, we never talked about it, at all.  In fact, I didn't even know if she was going to come for sure or not because we didn't even talk about that.  I remember on "the big day," the secretary from the office called into our classroom's P.A. system announcing it was time for all the girls to go down to the Multi-Purpose room.  As we got up to walk out, all the boys in our class started their snickering and disrespectful snorts at us - which made us feel even more stupid!  (Back in those days, the boys had their meeting in the evening with their dads, so the boys stayed in class.)   I was so anxious on the walk to the Multi-Purpose room because I wasn't sure my mom would even be there - she'd said nothing about coming.....so did that mean she was coming or she wasn't coming???  I didn't know, but I thought it meant she wasn't.  If she wasn't there, I was so worried about having to sit alone while everyone else was with their mom.  IMAGINE MY RELIEF when I walked in and saw my mom there!  WHEW!!!  My mom asked me afterwards, "Do you have any questions?"  I immediately [rep]lied, "NO!"  And that was that.

Afterwards, I got my first, very own stick of deodorant.  How "grown up!"  They didn't give that to Haylee - what a rip off!  ;)  Budget cuts???

Before the program, I'd already told Haylee all the body changes we would probably talk about (hair growth, hip & chest curvy-ness, growing taller, sweating problems, periods, zits...maybe even braces) and she informed me she thought it was all gross and she didn't want to do any of it.

Well, guess what?!?  You don't have a choice, sweetie!  It's inevitable.   Aaaaaaaaaauuhhh!

At the actual meeting, they talked about all that and more....because, honestly, I didn't take the time to read the School District program overview ahead of time.  They talked about the whole reason the body is changing is to prepare itself to have babies; for pregnancy, delivery, and nursing.  BUT JUST BECAUSE the physical body is capable DOES NOT MEAN girls are ready to have babies.  I thought that was great!  They also showed a slide of an Encyclopedia-type diagram of a side view of male anatomy, so girls would know the difference.  They closed with a video that showed a fast series of shots of a [ordinary] girl who went into a photo shoot and was "transformed" with the aid of all these make up artists and hair stylists working on her.  And then they showed the photo shop process to get the "end product" which looked ENTIRELY different from the first girl.....really couldn't even see a resemblance!  The nurse talked about how the photo that made it up on the billboard was a FAKE PERSON!   And that we should never compare ourselves to those airbrushed photos.  Fantastic!

Afterwards, we stayed in the car, with a bag of Nutter Butter snacks, and talked about the meeting more.

 

(I know the way to Haylee's heart! I know how to get her attention!) 

I asked her if she had any questions....
Turns out she had NO CLUE what the photo shop/model video meant or that that kind of thing was even happening.  See what I mean?  Little girl.

I had to hold back my giggling at the next thing she brought up.  She asked, with the "yuck factor" tone of voice, "Why did they have to show us the boy parts?"  She said she already knew the difference and she didn't want to see the picture!

I told her that I think she is many years away from most of those body changes to happen to her (because she is living in a 7 yr. old body still)  She is OVERJOYED at my "prediction."

She decided she wants to start wearing deodorant when she starts her 6th Grade school year.

The last thing she said she wanted to talk about, with a mouthful of Nutter Butters, was BOOBS.  She said she was freaked out over the slide that depicted all the different stages of breast growth, from "chocolate chip" to "watermelon" size.  I told her it is a fact of life, but everybody is different.  To which she replied, I really hope I have small ones!
(I just smiled and refrained from commenting on what I was really thinking:  Your future husband is hoping for the exact opposite, Girl!)
;)