Inquiring Minds Want to Know ;)

7 yr. old Brookelle was feeling a bit under-the-weather, so she spent the good part of the day lying down in our bed - because she says we have the most comfy bed in the house (AND the fact that there's a T.V. in our room doesn't hurt, either, I bet! ;))
ANYWAY, she was just takin' it easy on our bed.

Then she started rearranging the pillows on our bed and she picked up one of our throw pillows, and looked at it.
Then she looked at it longer.
Then she turned it over and looked at the other side.
Then she wrinkled up her eyebrows and stared at it some more.

This is the pillow that we have on our bed that was in question:

 

FINALLY, she declared, "I don't get it!" 

I, seeing what pillow she was examining, played oblivious (she IS only 7 yrs. old!) and asked, "What?!?  It's a pillow." 
She replied, "I know.  But, I don't get it!"
Me: "It's a pillow with words on it.  Can you read it?"
B:  "Yes.  'Tonight.' (then turns it over) and 'Not Tonight'."  Why's THAT written on a pillow?  What does it mean?" 

At this point, some of her older siblings were in the room witnessing this and they start giggling, and getting a real kick out of the situation.  Then they start saying things like, "You'll find out when you're older" or "You don't need to know yet"....which only makes Brookelle more frustrated. 

Then Brookelle demands/half-whines [in her sickly state], "Tell me what it is!" 
So, then Matt explains, "When the pillow is on the 'Tonight' side, mom wants me to kiss her.  If it's on the 'Not Tonight' side, then I shouldn't kiss mom."
B: "What does it REALLY mean?"
Everyone: "That's what it means!"
B: "I still don't get it.  Because WHY would mom EVER put it on the 'Not Tonight' side?"
Matt: "My sentiments EXACTLY!"  

;)  

How To Impress Your Kids

This came in the mail:

Our daughters are SO AMAZED about the fact 

that their parents must be such Celebreties, 

that THE DANBURY MINT 

has made a Special Edition "Suzanne & Matt" ring to sell

and that it is featured in their exclusive catalog that they send out to millions!!!

(I'm sure it'll be flying off the shelves - or the internet!)

We chose NOT to correct their assumptions!

We gotta take any admiration and respect we can get from them!  ;)

Good Thing I'm Not a Betting [Wo]Man

ONLY BECAUSE OF my and my husband's impending absence next week due to [hopefully] being on a Mexican Riviera cruise, we decided to let our 2 1/2-weeks-away-from-being-17-yrs.-old son get his Driver's License -- TEMPORARILY -- even though he has not obtained his Eagle Scout yet, (the prerequisite in this family) so he could be the chauffeur to and from all the places he and his siblings need to go in an average week - and it would not drive their caretakers absolutely INSANE with their crazy schedule that they aren't used to at all!

TEMPORARILY being the KEY WORD.  He can ONLY drive while we are gone.....when we return, we are taking his Driver's License away until he gets his Eagle Scout - or until we go out of town again - whichever comes first!  :)

So, I called the Driver's License Division to schedule his road test (as per instructions on their website.)  Well, in doing so, we found out that his Driver's Ed Instructor had never entered his results into the database, so they would not let me schedule an appointment until that happened.  I also found out that his Learner's Permit had expired 5 months ago, so he shouldn't have even been driving with us anymore!  (woops!)  But at least his written score was good for one more month and he didn't have to take THAT again (assuming he could pass the road test.)  So, I spent the next little while texting Ryan back & forth telling him to go talk to his teachers.  I, myself, was also calling the school and leaving voice messages on both the teacher of the class and his instructor he did his driving with....because we needed to get him in BEFORE we left town!  I made a few more calls to the DMV and between that all, we got the proof needed entered into the system.  LUCKILY, there was one cancellation this week that they could fit him in before we departed.

Then my son started texting me:
Why do I have to take a road test?

{Duh!!!}  So, they can determine if you're safe/good/smart enough to be out on the roads!!!  (I didn't actually text him that.)

I just told him someone from the State needs to put their "stamp of approval" on his license, if he's going to get one.

Then he told me that NONE OF HIS FRIENDS had to take the test.....that they already did it in Driver's Ed.

Yeah, right!!  (I thought)  These dumb silly teenagers!

I tried to tell him that all those driving hours he did were JUST his driving PRACTICE & EDUCATION, not an actual test.

Are you SURE?  he asked.

Of course!  I'm the Mom.....besides that's just the way it was back in my day when I was 16 (+ 5 weeks!)  I had to take the test.  Your Dad had to take the test.  Everyone has to take the test!

So, I checked him out of school - out of his hardest class, Calculus, no less - for the ONLY available appointment all week to take him to the Driver's License Division.

The whole way there he was complaining about him not thinking this was neccesary, and that no one he knows has taken a road test with some government official.....and that HE'S MISSING CALCULUS!!!
He asked me some form of "Are you sure?" and "Why?" a half a dozen times on the ride there.

In between all his comments, I was coaching him on making sure NOT to speed or drive up into any of the snow banks, or else they would flunk him on the spot.  I also told him he would FOR SURE have to either parallel park or make a 3+ point turn.  AND on top of that, snow had started to lightly fall, so he'd have to be very careful, as well.

I had him clean out the car and put everything into a bag so the "judge" wouldn't get a bad first impression and not pass him right from the beginning.  I also brought a book and other activities for myself and Miss B. to occupy ourselves with during his hour long(?) road test.

We (I) filled out his application (he still doesn't know our new home address) and took it up to the counter......and then I told the receptionist that my son thought he didn't have to take the road test due to having passed Driver's Ed.  Funny boy, isn't he?!?

AND THEN......

.......she checks in her handy dandy computer.....and says, "THAT'S RIGHT.  We've got his "Certificate of Completion" right here!"

WHAT?!?

ALL HE HAD TO DO was get his picture taken and pay $30.00 (well, I did.)  And it turns out he could've done that any dang time of the day -- WITHOUT an appointment -- and especially NOT during Calculus class.  We were in and out of there in less than 30 minutes, with his new D.L. in hand!

What happened to the way things were done "Back in MY day?"  I had to go out alone with some intimidating, uniformed, stranger dude..... and make a U-TURN in our family's big Suburban!  (Apparently, that part IS done as part of Driver's Ed. in the schools these days.  Who knew?  Not me.)


The whole way back to school, my son kept saying, "WE TOTALLY SHOULD'VE BET ON THIS!"

A New Chapter

Hey.....Can you HEAR that?

...Listen... 

It's QUIET.

Absolutely no one is home except for me.  This has not been the case for over 16 1/2 years!  Since becoming a mom, I have always had a child(ren) home with me.

And now, somehow the years went by, my babies grew up,  and my youngest "Baby" goes to preschool 3X a week for 2 1/2 hours.

Admittedly, I have dreamed of this day; when I could be free to run errands and go to appointments without a child in tow or having to find someone else to watch them for me.  I always said IT WOULD BE SO NICE....

....And now the day is here...and it is weird!

I won't deny that it IS nice, but it is definitely weird - I think I feel a little bit lost. 

I find myself wondering what I should do.

NOT because I don't have anything to do -- believe me, I DO!

It's just that, up until now, someone ELSE (my babies) have always controlled and dictated WHAT I would do.

Make a snack
Change a diaper
Fill up their sippy cup
Reach something that is too high
Watch them attempt a somersault
Put on a band-aid
Make lunch
Clean off their messy face
Change their clothes
Put them down for a nap
Call or walk them to a friend's house
Put on a band-aid
Wipe their bum
Find their shoes
Get gum out of their hair
Pull the finger out that got stuck in the drawer
Put on a band-aid
Get a fruit snack for them
Wash their hands
Set up the Play-dough
Put the Play-dough away
Open the door
Put on a band-aid

....And NOW....I CHOOSE WHAT I will do.

I was even at Wal-mart recently in the checkout line with a v-e-r-y SLLOOOOW checker, but I was okay with it - I didn't have a tantrum-throwing child with me, after all.   The gal behind me DID and she had to be at another engagement in 20 minutes, so she was stressing, checking her watch, and scoping out alternative checkout lines that might possibly be shorter/faster (there weren't any) the whole time.  I was actually in a position to offer her to go in front of me in line because I am free and I wasn't in a rush!

It's a very NEW concept for me.

So many choices, so little time!  2 1/2 hrs. in not very long!  Especially when I work during her preschool time twice a week. 

But, just so you know, don't be at all surprised to see me hanging out alone in the Hallmark section of the store just reading (not buying) all the cards just for funsies -- just because I CAN!  :)

Freak of Natures -- that's what we are!

Recently, while in San Diego attending a work-related conference, Matt & I were at a dinner party with a group of his business associates - many of whom we were meeting for the first time in person.

In the course of the getting-to-know-you conversation, the topic of kids came up.  We were asked if we have kids.

Yes.

How many?

Five.

FIVE??!!!??

Quoting one person exactly [as she dropped her fork and half-choked on her food],  "HOLY CRAP!!!"

Keep in mind, the people in attendance are not of our faith, nor are they from UTAH (Indiana was the furthest west that any of them reigned from), so the concept of 5 children was really UNHEARD OF to them.  We're talkin' Foreign territory.  This especially made sense when we found out about all of them, too; their number of children were 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 and 3.

(Meanwhile, I'm silently thinking about those who have even larger families than mine - like my aunt who has 12 children - how would they react to that?)

I did tell them that Matt came from a family of 7 kids, and my family has 6, so we're not even measuring up by comparison.....but then I had to stop talking about it because I felt some of them were at risk for a heart attack!  :)

When they recovered from the shock, one guy thought he was being all FUNNY by making the joke, "You must NOT have cable TV!"

To which Matt replied, "We don't."  (seriously)

Oh, can you imagine the raucous that caused?  Our table erupted in ROARING LAUGHTER.  Bah hahaha hahaha.  Intermixed with that noise were people's "smart" comments, "No Wonder!"  or "You should try cable!"  or "Atta Boy!"  or "I was right!"  It was one of those things when all the rest of the people at the restaurant STOP what they're doing/talking about and look over at "that table."  (The guy who made the original joke was REALLY proud of himself!)

Now they can't decide which thing to be MORE astonished about:  5 Children or NO Cable TV.

{Of course, I'm sure the unlimited wine served with their meals, influenced this EXAGGERATED reaction in them.}

Right?

Because it's not even a big deal to live without cable.

RIGHT?

RIGHT?!?

HELLO?

Is this thing on?  tap....tap... [on the microphone]

hello

Potty Boot Camp

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
Miss B is officially 3 1/2 years old.
And NOT Potty Trained.

This is so significant because 3 1/2 was the exact age that her brother, WHO WAS THE S-L-O-W-E-S-T [and most stubborn] POTTY TRAINEE IN THE WORLD, got potty trained!! I've been trying to explain to her how embarrassing that will be for her to have Ryan beat her in this area....because his timing was soooo UNimpressive! The risk of humiliation and "LOSING" to her brother doesn't even phase her!

I've taken it upon myself to make it happen TODAY! And if we don't succeed, Tuesday. And if we don't succeed, Wednesday. And if we don't succeed, Thursday. You get the idea. I've dedicated this week to the cause!

THE TOOLS

THE BRIBES

THE PARTICIPANT

She is THRILLED! She really is!

We're just 45 minutes into this - and we've already got casualties - two pair of panties with pee and/or poop in them!

Ooooohh - as much as I was prepared with ammo for HER, I was unprepared for me - I didn't think about me! THIS is the day I need a good supply of Diet Dr. Pepper on hand, and we have NO DDP in the house! (And I'm not leaving lest we miss the 30 minute potty watch alarm and are caught away from the potty!) Wouldn't ya know it.

Wish me luck!
Now watch, someone will wanna come look at the house.....Aauugh!

I've Been Fired

I have a 15 year old.

He will be a 16 year old in a little less than four months. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN, I WANT TO KNOW!!?!
He is enrolled in Driver's Ed at school right now.
(He has flunked one Simulation Test, so far.)

He says it's because we never take him out driving. (always the parents' fault, ya know.)

It's true, he isn't choppin' away at his 40-hours-of-driving-with-10 hours-of-it-being-at night-requirement in order to get himself a Driver's License. There's this funny little rule about ONLY driving with adults....and when am I EVER in the car WITHOUT other little ones in tow?

I think he's completed about 35 minutes, to date.

Well, recently, we were at our church, and no kids were in the car, just Matt & I, and he asked if he could drive. (Sure?)

FIRST, Matt moved the car out of it's current parking spot that was flanked with two other cars and pulled into a parking spot with vacancies on each side of it -- THEN turned the wheel over to Ryan.

So, Ryan puts the car in reverse and starts backing out of the parking space -- WHILE LOOKING OUT THE FRONT WINDSHIELD!!

"LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!" I shrieked.

He slams on the brakes, and I explain to him (unemotionally and quietly, of course! HA!) that he needs to turn his head and WATCH where he's going!

So, he proceeds again to back out of the parking space, while looking out the back window at where he's going -- BUT GUNS IT while doing so!

"BRAKE, BRAKE, BRAKE!" I shrilled.

He slams on the brakes again.

"Mom is going to make me FREAK OUT!" he bemoaned.

Mr. Calm (Matt) suggests to him, to just let off the brake, instead of using the gas, and the car will move naturally.

So, he did that, and it did!

He turned into our driveway. Oh no! I hadn't considered that scenario when we told him he could drive! I had images of him smashing in the garage door, or taking out the door frame on the way in. Our driveway goes down slightly before the garage, but he didn't adjust his pressure on the gas pedal for this -- we were APPROACHING THE GARAGE DOOR TOO RAPIDLY for my liking!

"STOP, STOP, STOP!" I screeched.

"Mom can't do this." Matt declared with finality.

And that's the story of how I got fired.
{Honestly, I'm quite OK with this!}

So, this will be interesting. Mr. Procrastination and Procrastination Jr. are now in it together and fully in charge of getting in 39 hours and 25 minutes more of driving in the next 15 weeks.