Five Words

One of the main things I took away from the "Queen of the Kingdom" conference last weekend was about WORDS.

Words are so important.

Right from the beginning of the conference, our presenter/mentor wanted us to write down just three words on our name tag that we wanted to be....it was just to get our mind starting to think in that direction.
There's so many words - and we could choose ANY of the hundreds of thousands that exist in our English language EXCEPT we were not allowed to choose "uptight," "rigid," or "controlling."  ;)  Those were words that had she had drawn the "no symbol" (ya know that red circle with a diagonal line through it?) on her giant post-it paper pad up front, because those traits ruin our femininity and are not characteristics of a "queen."

Later, we practiced saying general declarations that were written in our class book, out loud, with the group, to get us used to saying positive words about ourselves.
We even got to "play with" (draw from it's sheath and raise above our heads) a Gandalf-esque sword

while declaring, "I am a goddess of truth and light!"  Having a sword makes a difference, I tell ya!  (you should try it!)  It gives you the feeling that you've got power.  Like what you are saying is official, holds some clout!  ;)

Anyway, those were just some of the activities (there were many others) we did throughout the conference to get us in the frame of mind to choose words for ourself. 

By the end of the weekend, I chose five words.

Calm

Compassionate

Healthy

Energetic

Delightful

When I am going about my day; when I am wiping down the kitchen counters, while I put away clothes, when I'm on the phone with a not-so-happy customer at work.... I repeat this phrase to myself.  "I am a calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, delightful woman."  I have been saying it daily (sometimes multiple times).  My plan is to keep saying it a lot. 
When I don't feel like getting up early in the morning to go out exercising, I say it in my mind. 
When I look in the mirror, and I think, "bleh," I say it in my mind. 
The other day, when I was leaving the check out at Costco after I'd just purchased a large amount of items (who doesn't have a large amount of items when they go to Costco?) and had had some problems that came up while checking out, I heard the cashier greet his next customer after me, "How are you today?"  And I heard her reply loudly-enough-so-that-I-could hear, "Well, I was fine until I got in line behind that lady!"  I repeated my words (with emphasis on calm, compassionate, and delightful!) in my mind over and over and over the whole way out of the store, through the parking lot, while unloading all my stuff (that caused a long check out), and even after I got into the car!!  ;)
When I got really upset at home (no!) towards a particular person (who shall remain nameless) and situation, I said this phrase in my mind all evening!

I didn't choose the words calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, and delightful because that's what I believe I am....I chose them because I struggle to believe those things about myself.  And I can tell you, the more I have repeated that in my mind, the more calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic and delightful I have been able to feel in that moment.  Can it be that I am starting to believe them more?  It gives me strength to do things I might otherwise not have done.

These words can. change. me.
(Because that was another mantra of the conference, "For things to change, I must change.")

Just five words - out of thousands.

(Though, as I write this, it’s past meal time and I don't have any plans to make it and I let a stream of complaints and general disgruntlement flow out of my mouth earlier.  And there's the fact that I still haven't gotten around to doing some of our "SBL" outings this summer.  And when my son reminded me for the third (+) time that he STILL needs new soccer cleats due to his first game being in just 2 1/2 weeks, and my youngest [unedited] daughter asks why I have all those "red dots" on my chin…  I should have responded, “Because I’m HEALTHY…and ENERGETIC…and DELIGHTFUL…”)

So......

What are your words?

There is Not a Single Pair of Socks in our Entire Household

...ONLY SINGLETONS

Aaaaugh!

Two hours of helping the girls clean their disaster area bedroom, and this is what we end up with!

The "Buddy System" is not working around here!

(Although, more often than not, I don't think the dryer is the culprit.....my kids have this crazy idea that they're suppose to take their socks off in the back yard, in the car, in the garage, while going up the stairs, at the dinner table, while reading on the couch, instead of right by the dirty clothes hamper where they could deposit them promptly into it...but they only take one sock off in the first location, then take the other one off at a later time/different location to make the whole sock situation EVEN MORE "adventurous!")

Don't You Wish I Was Your Mom?

Haylee's Jr. High Science teacher was offering extra credit to any of her students who came to the "Moon viewing" to see the TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE at the school on Wednesday morning.....from 5:15-6:15AM.

But, ya always gotta take advantage of extra credit!

Matt was leaving really early in the morning anyway to take his parents to the airport, so the plan was for him to drop her off at the school, while I stayed home (ASLEEP IN BED) with our other children.

Her school doesn't start until 8:10a.m., so we talked about what she was going to do in between the moon viewing and school.  She just matter of factly told me that she would just walk back home.
Uhhh.....I DON'T THINK SO!  I put the brakes on that suggestion real fast.  It's still pitch dark at that time!  Did she really think that'd be a good idea?

She needed to do some catch up work in the keyboarding lab, so we talked about her doing that - except the lab doesn't open until 7:00a.m. so there was still some time unaccounted for.  Kyle was pretty sure the janitors get there that early, so he said the school would be unlocked.  She decided she would just go into the school and "hang out" until she could get into the lab.

Well, my eyes popped right open at 5:45a.m. and they were already gone, but I started to question whether or not she fully understood our plan for the morning.  And I became restless.  Then I thought, "Wonder if the school is still locked?  Wonder if all the lights are OFF in the school when she goes in?"  I couldn't go back to sleep.  Her comment about "just walking home" kept coming into my head.  That did it.  There was no chance I was falling asleep again. 

So, I got up.  I was driving over to the school.  I figured I'd just walk into the backyard of the school, find her, talk through the plan, and confirm that the school was open, etc.  It was still dark, so I figured I'd just go in my pajamas to save time.  At the last minute, I opted to change my PJ bottoms for my yoga capris instead....to be a little more presentable?

It turns out, the moon viewing was done by the time I got there, and no one was in the backyard anymore.  I talked to other kids who were outside and they told me that a lot of kids were in the school......

So, picture this;  I enter the Jr. High School wearing my pajama top, covered by a zip front hoodie (to cover up the fact that I was NOT wearing a bra), yoga capris, and flip flops.  I had just put on my glasses so I could see and had left without doing ANYTHING else, including looking in the mirror.  I had fresh BED HEAD and who knows what leftover make-up was smeared around my eyes or across my face.  I didn't think anything about it (I had only been thinking about saving Haylee from walking home in the dark) UNTIL I entered the front doors of the school and I saw many Jr. High students (a lot more than I expected!) hanging out all over in the commons area - and I saw their eyes turn to look at me.  THAT'S the first time I thought about HOW I looked.  Uh Oh!  (THAT'S the difference between women in their 40's & Jr. High students!)  I looked like a real beauty, I'm sure!

I proceeded to walk through the halls of the Jr. High and actually found her pretty quickly.  She was laying down on a bench (she got up at 4:20a.m.!) with a couple of friends.  When she saw me, she instantly became alert and she sat up and exclaimed, "MOM!  What are you doing?"  as the two other girls looked on.  I reminded her NOT to try to walk home that morning, and she was like, "I KNOW!  I'm not going to - you already told me I couldn't."  I went over the plan with her - while her friends watched & listened with fascination - and it turns out she had it all under control!  So, I turned around and walked back out of the Jr. High, passed the groups of other students with their stares, and drove back home.

I have a feeling there were some conversations going on amongst the kids about something to the effect of, "WOW!  I wish my mom would come to school like THAT!"  ;)

Bwah ha ha ha ha

Picture This: True Joy

It's no secret that sometimes we look TERRIBLE in pictures!  Just outright terrible.
(It's just that most the time, I choose to never let them make it on this blog, social media, or into my scrapbook!)

There are times when our smile just does not look good.  It's forced.  It's dumb.  It's half-hearted.  There's no reason to smile.

It might have been because we were NOT in the mood to get our photo taken.
We were tired.
We were mad at someone.
We were not excited.
We were frustrated with the photographer and had just uttered, through clenched teeth, "Just hurry and take the *&%$# picture!" - and at that very moment, they DID!

We were trying too hard.


We just weren't feelin' it!

CASE IN POINT:

Here's a few of MY less-than-stellar moments caught on "film" - or how do I say that now?  Caught in the digital world?

And Matt's had a few doozies, too:

Just trying to 'Keep it Real.'

It happens even when we're together in a photo:

(They're just NOT that cute of us AT ALL!)

AND.....we see it in our teenagers, too!

It was practically like pulling eye teeth to get Ryan to show some love to the camera when he was getting his Senior pictures taken a couple weeks ago.

His "enthusiasm" about this experience is evidenced by his scrunched up forehead,

 the look in his eyes that communicates, "My mom has such stupid ideas!",

 his refusal to smile, but instead opted to stare down the photographer,

and his "forced smile.....that borders on gnashing his teeth.

(My sweet friend/photographer was VERY patient with him!)

BUT.....then in stark contrast......check out these pictures from the evening Ryan opened his mission call.  

This event was a much anticipated, much welcomed, very blessed & joyful time in our lives.

 (with his cousin, Tayler)

 (with the "old neighborhood kids" - they first met when they were 4 & 5 years old!)

 (no cringing, no lopsided, wacky stuff, no perturbed looks - EXCEPT for Bob Marley on the T-shirt, that is!)

I specifically remember when the picture was being taken, thinking, "I don't even have to TRY to smile for this, I just can't hold it back!

 (Is that a GLISTEN in my eye?  Do we have the Orbit gum commercial sparkle-on-the-teethy-smile going on?)   

As exciting as it was to find out where & when he will be going, the fact that he is willing, and able, and worthy to go.....THAT is what is causing our bona fide smiles!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE it makes in your pictures (see photos at the beginning of this post for comparisons!) when you're genuinely feeling true joy - THE PROOF IS [definitely] IN THE PHOTOS!