We planned a week long trip to Hawaii for our family vacation this week.
(We had exactly 16 days of Summer vacation between the time All-Star baseball ended and football started, and an extended family reunion was squeezed in there, so we didn't have time for OUR family vacation.)
We get to fly standby on other airlines for about 10% (or less) of a full-fare ticket. Our brother and sister-in-law also live there, so, thanks to their graciousness, we have a place to stay. The kids had 2 days off of school anyway, so we decided to pull them out for the remaining 3 days this week and make it a great, relaxing vacation.
**Enter Reality**
Saturday
First Attempt at getting on a Delta flight to Hawaii. Don't check in any bags since they GO whether we make the flight or not.
Overheard at the airport ticket counter: "THIS is a family of SEVEN!!"
Going through Security #1 - with SEVEN people (everyone takes off their shoes, everyone takes out all liquids/foams/gels out of carry-on bag and place into a quart-size Ziploc bag in bin, remove laptop from bag, take baby out of stroller, fold up stroller and put on conveyor belt, take off belts/earrings/watches/barrettes and remove all loose change from your pockets, take off jackets, put blankets in bin (X 7). And then on the exiting side of Security, everyone "recomposes" - puts their shoes, clothes and accessories back on, returns all liquid containing Zip loc bags to carry-ons, put laptop back, gather all belongings, set stroller back up and strap baby back in it, stack up all bins and return them to the stack, zip up all bags, do a luggage count; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, do a back pack/purse/diaper bag/laptop case count; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and go on our merry way.)
Bin containing laptop gets pushed off unattended conveyor belt on far side of metal detector in Security check point and falls to the floor -- and breaks. Cost: One laptop computer
I set the metal detector off when I walk through. They have me take off my earrings and put them in a "bowl." They hastily dump my earrings into my hands on my second successful attempt through and throw the "bowl" back into the pile for future travelers to use. When putting my earrings back in, I notice that the hook of one of my earrings is totally missing - and the "bowl" is long gone. Cost: One pair of earrings.
One for one Security "incidents."
Don't make the flight.
Ride Shuttle back to Long Term Parking and pay for the time we were there. Cost: $4.00
A "consolation lunch" for the family to lift their spirits. Cost: $50.00
Sunday
Second Attempt at getting on a Delta flight to Hawaii.
Overheard at the airport ticket counter: "Oh my gosh, HOW MANY [kids] are there?"
Going through Security #2 - with SEVEN people. (See Above).
Oldest son apparently thought he was exempt from the "no liquids" rule and his bag gets pulled and searched because he has packed some aerosol deodorant in his bag -- which is promptly confiscated by TSA. Cost: One can of deodorant.
Two for two Security "incidents."
Don't make the flight. Who are all these Utahns flying to Hawaii every day?!?
Ride Shuttle back to Long Term Parking and pay to get out. Cost: $4.00
Return home and catch church at a different ward in our Stake. Cost: Listening to protests/complaining/debating from the children since they didn't think that was in "The Plan" for today. My reply is simple, "Our family goes to church." (And they will soon learn that they have to be very flexible with "The Plan" anyway.)
Decide to take a different approach. Instead of flying non-stop to Hawaii from SLC, let's try to fly there from SFO, which flights are more open.
Third Attempt to get on a flight. Return to the airport in the evening to fly JetBlue (with our higher priority) to SFO.
Overheard at the airport ticket counter: "Are ALL those [kids] YOURS?"
Going through Security #3 - with SEVEN people. (See Above).
2nd Son's skate shoes look "suspicious" to TSA and they are pulled for additional screening.
Three for three Security "incidents."
We make the flight!!!
We have to connect in Long Beach, and we only have 30 minutes to do it - and the gate is in another area of the airport - which requires running AND Going through Security #4 - with SEVEN people. (See Above).
Thankfully, without "incident." Three for Four brings us out of our 100% fail rate with Security!
Our arrival in San Francisco is late at night and we won't be able to catch a flight out until the next day, so we booked a hotel for the night. Cost: $55 (Thanks to my airline discount.)
The hotel offered a "complimentary shuttle" from the airport, and the driver helped us [READ: only did it for a tip] with all our bags....Cost: $10.00
Monday
Another "consolation lunch" the next day in San Francisco. Cost: $60.00
The "complimentary shuttle" takes us back to the airport with our 7 bags + a stroller. Cost: $10.00
Fourth Attempt at getting on a flight to Hawaii.
Overheard at the airport ticket counter: "Look at ALL your 'blessings'" (Translated: Too many children.)
Going through Security #5 - with SEVEN people. (See Above).
My second daughter thought that the miniature water bottle she'd gotten on the JetBlue flight the night before was "SO CUUUTE" that she saved it in her back pack - which was detected on the security monitor, then was immediately removed and thrown away. Cost: One cuuute miniature water bottle and a 5 yr. old's happiness.
Four for Five Security "incidents."
While waiting at the gate, the Delta agent makes an announcement. There is a problem. The plane we were hoping to fly to Hawaii on has a mechanical issue that will prevent it from flying over the water....so they have to substitute out a different aircraft...which will delay the departure for almost two hours....AND which happens to have about 50 fewer seats on it than the original plane! They were asking - which eventually turned to begging - passengers to take later flights & compensation instead since there was no way all the ticketed people would make it.
There goes our chances of making it out on Monday. And Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday since they were having to fill up all those flight with all those misplaced passengers.
Can we handle the truth? There will be NO trip to Hawaii.
Plan B. What is Plan B?
It sure would be nice if we had a functional computer so we could explore accommodations in San Francisco or other flight options OUT of there!!!
I find a pay-by-the-minute computer in the airport and research alternate possibilities as fast as I can - all the while the timer and the dollar amount total are ticking right before my eyes in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. Cost: $7.00
We decide to just go back to "Square One" - HOME.
We can catch a JetBlue flight back to Long Beach tonight, and then Salt Lake tomorrow.
Overheard as we approached the line at the airport ticket counter: "Oh, why don't you go ahead of us, You've got your hands full!" (Translated: The 3-ring circus has arrived to the San Francisco aiport!)
And then we proceeded to prove them RIGHT!
In ideal circumstances, I'm suppose to list for my own flights on JetBlue by logging into a crew members only program that has been provided me by my company. Well....since our situation wasn't exactly ideal, I was unable to do that and I approached the ticket counter in San Francisco without a listing for my family (of SEVEN). The airport crew member said he'd do it for me, but at the same time made sure to tell me what a "no, no" this was. It takes a long time to type in everyone's full-name, gender, date of birth, age, title, blood type, favorite candy bar, and life insurance beneficiary, etc. and so we were in line way past my family's tolerance level!
Another "suppose to" item that goes along with my flight benefits is that we are suppose to be on our best behavior, not make a scene, blend in with all the paying customers, and be extra respectful, courteous, kind, etc when traveling. Here's what actually happened while I was being assisted at the ticket counter: 1) Oldest daughter misbehaved with her dad which earned her a trip to "time out" right there against the wall of the ticket counter, which incidentally, she openly refused to go to, which resulted in the "countdown" being used by her dad - and in front of all other waiting customers behind us. 2) Oldest son manages to fall off his carry-on luggage that he was sitting on, creating a huge thud sound as he hits the floor, while the luggage goes rolling away the other direction. 3) Katelyn decides it's a great time to "terrorize" the baby by taking away her...whatever it was she was holding. 4) Miss B SCREAMS in objection to her older sister's actions. This results in her dad prying Katelyn away from the stroller and placing her in "time out" next to her older sister. 5) Another loud ruckus is heard behind me and I turn around to see son #2 laying on the floor, spread eagle, with his suitcase (which he'd apparently been sitting on, also) knocked over on the floor beside him - the second fall accident.
FIVE for FIVE kids succeed in making a scene! We have broken all the "cardinal laws" of non-rev travel!!
Between my reprimanding I got from the agent and my family's INability to be WELL behaved at that crucial moment, not to mention our NON-existent trip to Hawaii and a broken laptop - I had HAD IT!! Cost: Breaking down crying in the San Francisco airport. :(
But, that DID get my kid's attention - more like freaked them out - and they turned into "little angels."
We made it through Security #6 - with SEVEN people. (See Above) with flying colors.
And we made our flight - and I gladly took the single seat that was separate from the rest of the family! ;)
When we landed in Long Beach, we saw a Ad sign for some hotels. We had two requirements: a shuttle and a business center, so I could use a computer to list for our future flights and avoid any further chastisement. We called and booked us a room for the night. Cost: $115.00
Another "helpful" shuttle driver. Cost: $10.00
Tuesday
Shuttle back to the airport. With 7 bags + stroller. Cost: $10.00 AND a scolding that we hadn't made a "reservation" to ride at that time.
Overheard behind us in the Security Line: "Look at that little girl [referring to Miss B] taking off her shoes - she knows just what to do - Isn't that the cutest thing?"
Ummm, yeah, she knows because this is Going through Security #7 - with SEVEN people. (See Above).
We were unaware that Miss B had failed to drink the last 3 1/2 ounces (over the legal limit in Security) of the juice in her sippy cup, so it was taken from us and "tested" over at the Sippy Cup contents testing machine. It passed, because, of course it was juice, not bomb-making ingredients. Cost: A Few ounces of juice that could make the difference between a content child and an hysterical one...AND chalk up another Security violation to our record.
Five for Seven Security "incidents."
We got on the flight! (Gotta love my priority with JetBlue!)
We touch down back in UTAH!!
And ride the shuttle back to Long Term Parking where our car has been parked for 1 1/2 days now. Cost: $14
Another "consolation brunch" (or a we-haven't-eaten-a-REAL-meal-for-21-hours-brunch) on our way out of the airport. Cost: $45.00
We decide to do something rather than nothing for our "Hawaii Vacation" and fill up the car with gas and drive straight to St. George. Cost: $39.00
I can turn the unused Delta tickets back in and get most of my money back except for the non-refundable processing fee. Cost: $42.00
So, there you have it - if you ever wondered WHAT it'd cost NOT to go on a trip to Hawaii.
Total: $485.00, various personal items, 12 more gray hairs each, and my sanity.
(A small price to pay for such an adventure of this caliber!) :)
