Lessons learned at the Kitchen Stove

With the start of a new school year, and a new work schedule (all day) for me, I instituted a new "dinner plan."
That plan involves other people than just me making dinner.  Brilliant, eh?
I'm not available in the days to do all the dinner planning/prepping like I used to be PLUS it's time for my children to discard the phrase, "I don't know how to cook" from their vocabulary!
So, Kyle has Mondays.
Haylee has Tuesdays.
Katelyn has Wednesdays.

And I'll do the rest of the days.  EXCEPT, according to this article, my husband should be doing Sundays. ;)

There were also some "rules."

1. It has to be a REAL meal.  (Ramen, Mac & Cheese, and Spaghetti-O's or anything like unto these are excluded!)
2. They cannot repeat the same meal within the same month.
3. It has to include a vegetable and/or fruit, plus be a balanced meal (with a protein and a grain.)

 Here's how things went the first week:

Kyle wondered why it took him 2 1/2 hrs. to make dinner!
He learned that he shouldn't leave the kitchen multiple times in the middle of making dinner - especially when he has put butter in a saucepan to melt!  ;)
He also learned it will go a lot quicker if he cut up all the vegetables and cooked/diced the meat BEFORE he started cooking!

Haylee wondered how in the world we could stand eating all the pancakes she'd made WITHOUT any syrup!
She learned that she should probably take inventory of ALL the ingredients (including condiments) she will need for her dinner and, if we don't have them in our pantry, she should write them on a shopping list BEFORE mom went shopping a few days prior.
(Luckily, mom knows how to whip up homemade syrup, and saved the dinner).  ;)

Katelyn wondered why her entree did not yield as large of a quantity as it usually does (like when mom makes it) and worried there wasn't enough for everyone to feel satisfied.
She learned that she should follow the instructions on the size of pan that the recipe says should be used and add ALL the ingredients that were cut and measured ahead of time.  (She used a smaller pan and everything wouldn't fit in it, so she just filled it and then left out the excess ingredients).  ;)

{Hopefully, they all become more proficient, with time!}  :)

This first week, I had to answer a lot of questions and assist with various tasks, when asked, so I actually had to be available or present - but I did not take it over for them when they struggled; I wanted them to be "in charge."  My vision is that one day, they'll all be able to function in the kitchen like a well-oiled machine, and I could walk away from the kitchen or our home, and everything would run normally without a hitch and they would pull off dinner with success!

{In other words, I hope to "work myself out of my [cook] job."}

Of Course it Happened That Way

Probably for my first time EVER, I did not dread Mother's Day!  This year, there was actually something to look forward to.
It's because Mother's Day is ONE of the two-times-a-year that missionaries are allowed to call home!!! :)
Christmas is the other day that they are allowed to call.  And last Christmas, Ryan informed us he'd be calling at a certain time.....and then we waited 3 HOURS until he actually did! (When they are at someone else's house, they have to wait until they can set them up on their device - and if they're busy making dinner, it isn't a good time to ask for help, etc.)
So....we were kind of suspecting that his Mother's Day call would be the same; we took the time he told us, then added 1+ hours.

With this theory in mind, we had our children stay at church for Primary.  It is tradition in our ward that the Youth take over teaching/leading/directing the Primary children on Mother's Day, so all the usual Primary workers (many women) have the "day off" and can attend the adult classes in church that day.  Well, Kyle & Haylee got assigned to sit with and teach Brookelle's class.  They were so excited!  Especially Brookelle! 
Kyle & Haylee planned together.
They divided up the sections of the lesson.
They studied the concepts and the scripture stories.
Haylee even put together a bag of props to use in the lesson.
AND they assigned their other helper to bring a treat for the class.
They were ALL set!

Meanwhile, Matt & I returned home, just for the odd chance that he called on time, and set the Skype up.
Before the time he said he'd call, I went upstairs to my bathroom to brush my hair and teeth and put on some lip gloss.....and lo, and behold, he called EARLY!!!
Only Matt was in the room when Ryan's face filled our TV screen.
Apparently, Matt started calling my name, but I can't hear a thing from anywhere else in the house when I am in my bathroom....so I didn't even know he was already on.
When I did come down the stairs, just on my own time (without knowing he was on yet), I heard voices.
This is what I overheard:
Ryan: "Hey, Dad!  How's it going?"
Matt: "Good."  And then....silence.  (Seriously, he said just one word....to our son who we haven't seen in real life for 8 1/2 months!?!?!) 
Ryan: [laughing out loud] "Oh, wow, Dad.  You're still not a man of many words."
Matt: "I need your mother!  Where is she, to help me out?"
(Then I enter the room)
Matt: "Oh, good!  Here she is!"
And then he sat back, and visibly relaxed, and mostly listened to the rest of the [1 hr. 40 min.] conversation!
Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahaha.

Oh, and I texted Kyle that Ryan had called and to come home now, so he gave his Primary class over to another young man, gathered up his little sisters, and they ran home to see/talk to Ryan!

And they didn't even get to teach their Primary lesson!!!  :(
It's because they were actually prepared.
YOU KNOW if they would've just bagged the lesson, thinking they wouldn't have to teach it, Ryan's call would've come late again, and they'd been lookin' like idiots in front of the Primary children!!

So, the moral of the story....
When you're expecting/counting on something, it doesn't/won't happen.  (I told you my life is governed by Murphy's Law!)
When you're NOT expecting/counting on something, your expectations are EXCEEDED (in this case, an EARLY call).

*****************************
As another interesting side note about the day, my other teenager son started asking me to take a picture with him.
WHAT?!?
Since WHEN does he want to take pictures with me?
When I couldn't get to it right away, he kept pestering asking me to do it.
Finally, I obliged.

Turns out, he had an ulterior motive.
Our photo ended up on Instagram later that day.....just like A LOT of his friends & their moms pictures did.  He can't miss out on what "all the other kids are doing" now, can he?!?  ;)

P.S. Besides the Skype with our missionary, everyone made & cleaned up a fabulous breakfast & dinner (the menus of my choosing), the talks at church were done well, I got a gift I had been wanting for a long time, I had the opportunity to read my book (undisturbed while everyone else was busy), and we stayed home TOGETHER.
I think this was my BEST Mother's Day to date!  ;)
(Lest you think I'm now a different person with a new opinion [or that someone is impersonating me on this blog post].......under different circumstances, my previous recorded feelings about Mother's Day still stand.)  ;)

Just Loungin' Around on the Couch Eating Bon-Bons ~ Take 2

I was talking with a friend today whose "baby" is the same age as my "baby."  As is the same for me, this school year marked the first time for her since becoming a mother that ALL children are in school for the WHOLE day.  That means we're home alone during the day now.  Unlike me, who [idiotically] changed my work hours at my jetBlue job to the daytime and, consequently, ruined all my "discretionary time," she is not currently employed for pay, so I guess others have taken that as the green light to stick their noses in her business and ask stupid questions.
She told me that multiple people have now started to ask her, "What do you do all day?"

What?!?

Like no one could possibly think of anything else one would do besides "punch a time card?"
(So irritating).

I'll tell you what she does:
She runs at least 5 miles a day.
She keeps her house immaculately clean!!  Like we're talkin' you could totally eat off her floors!  Seriously.  And you would NOT find dust/dirt in her window tracks, a ring around her toilet bowl, or crumbs on the kitchen counter!!!  She makes sure of it.  ;)
She shop vacs her garage regularly.  As well as her cars.
(She'll wash and wax the cars' exterior, too!)
She makes wreaths for her front door.
She volunteers in both of her elementary school-aged children's classroom once a week.
She goes on EVERY SINGLE field trip, as a chaperone, with her children's school class.
She makes dinner.  Even freezer meals for future use, when needed for unexpected company, a sick neighbor/friend, or a hectic, busy day for the family.
And she often brings my family plates of goodies......just because!
She serves in the Young Women organization of her church congregation.  (THAT takes a ton of time, I know from past experience!)
She spends a good amount of time on the phone with or at doctor offices due to her children's unique "ability" to break their legs!  ;)  And being an advocate for their care.
Did I mention she runs 5 miles a day?!?
She grows flowers.
She just did half the wedding (planning, shopping, decorating, baking, scheduling, paying for) her younger sister's wedding.
She has six people's laundry to do which includes a plethora a dance and soccer workout gear.  (And it doesn't get left undone like some people I know [me])
Her kids never look like rag-a-muffins (again like some people I know [me]) - with three girls' hair nicely coiffed and donning cute clothes.
Her car goes in and out of her driveway all day long running different errands in order to keep the pantry stocked and the household running.
She goes to the temple.

Man, I'm tired!

And these are just the things that I SEE or know about.....there's undoubtedly so much more she's doing behind the scenes that I don't see.
Oh!  And she runs 5+ miles a day - did I happen to mention that one, yet? 

I'm not doing all that - are you?  Now that I've "shed light on the situation," would people ask her that question still?!?
Probably.
They REALLY don't have any clue, do they?

Her experience reminded me of my own experience I had recently while I was getting a manicure.  (Oh, is that WHY I'm not doing everything she's doing because I spend my time at the Spa?  ;)  Actually, it is a rarity to find me there - I was finally using a gift certificate I got for my birthday, and had already had for over 6 months.)

So, back to the manicure.....the gal doing it was chatting it up with me and she found out I worked at jetBlue.  She asked me if I was full-time or part-time.  When I told her I worked 24 hrs. a week there, she then asked me, "So, what do you do with the rest of your time?"
I replied that I had a family; a husband and five children.
She kind of went, "Mmmm hmmm" and then pushed further with, "So, what do you do?", dismissing that my previous remark had anything to do with her question of how I fill my time.

Well, interestingly enough, after visiting with her throughout the rest of the manicure, I found out that she:

• Is not married.
• Has children who are from multiple different men.
• Is currently trying to get back with the father of her youngest child, but she doesn't want to move into his place because the last time she lived there, whenever they would fight (which was a lot), he'd get mad and kick them out, and then they'd have no place to live.
• Has her mom live with her, and she watches the kids while she's at work, cleans, does laundry, pays for half the home improvement costs, take the children to appointments, cooks dinner, etc.
• Bar-tends a few night a week and gets off at all hours of the morning. 
• Says she does not have good choice in men.

After that conversation, it became more obvious to me WHY she [ignorantly] asked me the question; it was rather telling that she did not know, hadn't figured it out yet, that there is a connection between TIME and Quality FAMILY life.  ;)

*********************
The first of my "Bon-Bons" posts is back HERE

Pick Any Two

Here's one of my favorite signs I've found on Pinterest: 

(it's SO true!)

I actually presented it to my husband and told him to do just what it says......PICK ANY TWO!

He looked over the list, and reread it, and thought about it, and scratched his head.  He let out a few, "Hmmmm's."  He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, and then he closed it without saying a word.  His face looked troubled, conflicted.  He was in a stupor of sorts before he was able to answer.  BECAUSE HE WANTS IT ALL!

But, I told him he had to narrow it down to two.

Can you guess which two he picked?

Hint: he DIDN'T pick the "Works full time" one.
So, I asked him if that meant I could quit my job.
He rebuttal-ed, "You don't work full time."
Well, if he wants to get technical about it, I am not employed at my job "full time" (but don't get me started about telling a Mom she doesn't work!!!)  I also kindly informed him that I work at my job 24 hrs./week - which is 2/3 of "full time," so that means he now needs to decide WHICH of his two picks he will choose for me to reduce by two-thirds to compensate for that?!?
;)

It Owns Me

Ever since I started wearing my new Fitbit (first full day was Dec. 26) I HAVE to get my 10,000 steps a day.
 
If it is 11:00 p.m. and I haven't yet achieved my steps, I will "sneak out" to go walking around the neighborhood to get them.  Apparently, the first time I did this, someone at home "needed" me (WHEN don't they need me?) and they couldn't find me, and no one knew where I was, and mayhem broke loose.  When I returned, Matt requested I please inform them in the future if I am going out.....ya know, in case something happens to me.  Like what?!?  Get abducted by aliens up the street?!?
If the day is almost over, and I don't have my steps AND we're experiencing inclement weather, I will pace back & forth on our covered porch.  Or run up & down the stairs.  Or do laps in our garage.
If I'm thirsty and need a drink of water, I STOP myself from asking someone else to get it for me......because if I get up and get it myself, that tacks on several extra steps.
If I need something while I'm making dinner from the cold storage room in the basement,  I don't call for Kyle anymore like I always used to......I want the steps myself!
It's no longer one of my kid's jobs to go and get the mail.....because if I get it, I know that's another 250 steps!

I'm telling you - I'm a SLAVE to this Fitbit.
I WILL NOT let myself NOT get my 10,000 steps a day.
EVERY day.
EVEN on the weekend.
If I let myself go just one day without getting my steps, then it'll just be easier to go another day, and then another, and another.....and I DON'T want that to happen!

 (BTW, it says 0 on the water because I would have to manually enter it in....and I don't.  I just like the Fitbit to crunch all the numbers for me.)  

I mostly wanted to start doing it for health & fitness, but ya know what's ALSO happened?  That was a pleasant surprise? 

I'm spending MORE TIME with my family and children!  The kind of TIME where I'm really WITH them.

Because I'll ask if anyone wants to go out and walk with me - and someone usually does.  Katelyn & I just walk & talk about her favorite subject - The Pioneer Woman (she's the one who "introduced" me to the Fitbit in the first place).....and then Katelyn asks when we can do that again!  ;)

Matt has decided he has to protect me against those "aliens," so he'll come out walking with me at night and we walk & talk.

One day, I needed a bunch of steps, so Brookelle, Katelyn, & I went up to our church.  I thought we'd just do laps around the church, but, NO, they had a grand idea to play "Tag."  So I obliged.  We were up there all night.....or at least an hour!  And I was "It" the majority of the time! (Because I kept getting caught!)  They LOVED it and didn't want to quit, even though I kept "suggesting" we did. (my bladder can only take so much "Tag!")  Again, Katelyn repeatedly asks when we can do that again! 

I ask her, "WHY?" 

And she tells me, "It was so fun." 

And I say, "Really?!?  'Cause I totally stunk at it."  

And she says, "No, you didn't.  You were really good.  You can run fast.....for a Mom your age!" 

And I say, "No......you always tagged me, and I couldn't catch you very much."

And she said, "THAT'S why it was so fun!"

Instead of driving my child to her friend's house to play, I walk her over there......and then I walk back when it's time to come home.  And Brookelle talks my ear off the whole way.

Same goes for getting Katelyn to Activity Days.

I'm also walking to the school after school to meet my girls and walk home with them (& their friends - gotta take advantage of that while it's still happening).  I heard Katelyn explaining to one of her friends, "Ya know how some moms pick their kids up from school and give them a ride home?  Well, our mom picks us up from school and then makes us walk home!"



I'm liking this "by-product" of my Fitbit (more time spent together with my fam) that I didn't realize would be one of the results.  My family is all on board with the idea.  They will frequently ask where I'm at for the day - and WANT me to accomplish my 10,000 every day.  Good thing, because my obsession dedication would exist with or without their support. ;)  I love it!

I ALSO overheard Katelyn tell one of her friends, "My mom has a Fitbit, and she HAS to get 10,000 steps a day.  She's going to do that EVERY day until my brother gets home from his mission, and then she's going to be SKINNY!"

Oh, WOW!  The pressure's ON!

The Day of Awakening

You gotta get through 18 3/4 years of the [back breaking, heart aching, mind going crazy, blue-in-the-face] daily grind FIRST, but it finally comes.....it's the day when your child realizes AND admits JUST HOW GOOD HE HAS IT!  (and always has had it.)

We got this letter from our missionary son, Ryan, this week:

The letter was partially spurred on by him receiving some family photos we had taken before he left on his mission this summer.  They finally came back from the photographer, so I sent them to him in a little album:

We were kind of surprised to have our letter addressed to us in such a way, "My Eternal Forever Family" - such an upgrade from the usual, "The Brenchley's."  ;)

Then the content of the letter provided even bigger "revelations" to us:
"I am so grateful for what a great family I have!  The pics are just too precious!  Maybe it's the great color scheme or all our great smiles, but The Pictures just glows every time I look at it.  I took the album to church with me Sunday to show to some families and it got passed around to a couple of the other sisters in the ward.  Everyone who saw it was all, "Oh, what a Beautiful family you have!"  The other missionaries around the house were all commenting how much younger my family was.  (They're just jealous because their family grew up and isn't as cute as my family!)  I love you all so much.  You are all one of the main reasons I'm serving a mission.  I KNOW the happiness I have knowing my family can be together forever and I want nothing more than to share this message with others, and have them have the same Happiness I have!  I Love You all so much!"

(I think I want him to stay with this current group of missionaries who refer to us as the "YOUNG" family amongst the group!  ;)  In fact, when Ryan was telling his companion that his parents went on a 20th anniversary cruise, his companion pointed out that he's older than Ryan's parent's marriage!  His companion was born a few months before we were married....and he's the 4th child in his family to give ya an idea of the age difference in their parents!)


So, basically, now Ryan thinks we really are great!
(That's why we send them away!)  ;)
One child down, four to go!

Don't You Wish I Was Your Mom?

Haylee's Jr. High Science teacher was offering extra credit to any of her students who came to the "Moon viewing" to see the TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE at the school on Wednesday morning.....from 5:15-6:15AM.

But, ya always gotta take advantage of extra credit!

Matt was leaving really early in the morning anyway to take his parents to the airport, so the plan was for him to drop her off at the school, while I stayed home (ASLEEP IN BED) with our other children.

Her school doesn't start until 8:10a.m., so we talked about what she was going to do in between the moon viewing and school.  She just matter of factly told me that she would just walk back home.
Uhhh.....I DON'T THINK SO!  I put the brakes on that suggestion real fast.  It's still pitch dark at that time!  Did she really think that'd be a good idea?

She needed to do some catch up work in the keyboarding lab, so we talked about her doing that - except the lab doesn't open until 7:00a.m. so there was still some time unaccounted for.  Kyle was pretty sure the janitors get there that early, so he said the school would be unlocked.  She decided she would just go into the school and "hang out" until she could get into the lab.

Well, my eyes popped right open at 5:45a.m. and they were already gone, but I started to question whether or not she fully understood our plan for the morning.  And I became restless.  Then I thought, "Wonder if the school is still locked?  Wonder if all the lights are OFF in the school when she goes in?"  I couldn't go back to sleep.  Her comment about "just walking home" kept coming into my head.  That did it.  There was no chance I was falling asleep again. 

So, I got up.  I was driving over to the school.  I figured I'd just walk into the backyard of the school, find her, talk through the plan, and confirm that the school was open, etc.  It was still dark, so I figured I'd just go in my pajamas to save time.  At the last minute, I opted to change my PJ bottoms for my yoga capris instead....to be a little more presentable?

It turns out, the moon viewing was done by the time I got there, and no one was in the backyard anymore.  I talked to other kids who were outside and they told me that a lot of kids were in the school......

So, picture this;  I enter the Jr. High School wearing my pajama top, covered by a zip front hoodie (to cover up the fact that I was NOT wearing a bra), yoga capris, and flip flops.  I had just put on my glasses so I could see and had left without doing ANYTHING else, including looking in the mirror.  I had fresh BED HEAD and who knows what leftover make-up was smeared around my eyes or across my face.  I didn't think anything about it (I had only been thinking about saving Haylee from walking home in the dark) UNTIL I entered the front doors of the school and I saw many Jr. High students (a lot more than I expected!) hanging out all over in the commons area - and I saw their eyes turn to look at me.  THAT'S the first time I thought about HOW I looked.  Uh Oh!  (THAT'S the difference between women in their 40's & Jr. High students!)  I looked like a real beauty, I'm sure!

I proceeded to walk through the halls of the Jr. High and actually found her pretty quickly.  She was laying down on a bench (she got up at 4:20a.m.!) with a couple of friends.  When she saw me, she instantly became alert and she sat up and exclaimed, "MOM!  What are you doing?"  as the two other girls looked on.  I reminded her NOT to try to walk home that morning, and she was like, "I KNOW!  I'm not going to - you already told me I couldn't."  I went over the plan with her - while her friends watched & listened with fascination - and it turns out she had it all under control!  So, I turned around and walked back out of the Jr. High, passed the groups of other students with their stares, and drove back home.

I have a feeling there were some conversations going on amongst the kids about something to the effect of, "WOW!  I wish my mom would come to school like THAT!"  ;)

Bwah ha ha ha ha

FREEDOM!.....or Not?!!

The day has come.

ALL of my children are now in school for the full day.

It only took 18 1/2 years to get to this point!

THIS is a time that I have talked about for years...as if it was always in the [distant] future:
When all my children are in school, I won't have to work crazy [night] hours anymore.

When all my children are in school, I can volunteer at the school/go on field trips.

When all my children are in school, I can schedule a doctor/dentist appt. at any time of the day.

When all my children are in school, I can go to the grocery store alone.

When all my children are in school, I can go out to lunch with my girlfriends all I want.

When all my children are in school, I can get my hair done.

When all my children are in school, I can go visiting teaching without kids or without getting someone to watch my kids for me.

When all my children are in school, I can decorate, clean, do laundry, sew, organize, can, etc., etc.

When all my children are in school, I can.....basically do all my stuff!
 
When all my children are in school, I'll yell from the rooftops, "FREEDOM!"

Well, now I'm here....

And I just sent my oldest on his mission, so in addition to all my children being in school all day, I'm even down one extra kid!

A lot of people have been asking me what I'm going to do or what I am doing.

Is it exactly as I talked about all these years?!?

HA!

Not EVEN close.

Well, I DID change my work schedule to days, the first item on the above list - check.

With that, my goal is now to get to bed at a decent time, and get an appropriate number of hours of sleep each night for the first time in years.  Like go to bed right after the evening news at 10:40PM.  Or maybe 11:00PM.  OK, let's say, at least before midnight.  Do you think I can do it?  ;)

So, if I'm working during the day, and sleeping at night, that only means there's no room for any of the other items on the list I thought I'd be doing!  Why didn't I ever realize that before?!?  Did I somehow think the hours in a day would multiply, or something?

I find myself trying to cram as many things as I can into a couple of 13 minute breaks I have during each work shift and then planning a long list of things to do on my one weekday off work.

I need to get some lessons from others who work during the daytime on how to get everything done.

.....and on how to find that ever elusive FREE TIME!

My New Rank: MM

We took my son, Ryan, to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on Wednesday to begin his 2 year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

He will train there for just 12 days, then fly out into his assigned mission field of West Virginia (& parts of some surrounding states).  We will not see him again until he returns home, and only speak to him on the phone a handful of times on special occasions (Christmas, Mother's Day, & I've *heard* when he is at the airport, departing [but it's not confirmed]).  Our communication will only be through weekly emails or letters.  (SUCH A CHANGE from the instant communication we've grown accustomed to with texts, cell phones, & living in the same home over the past years!)

So many others who have already sent out missionary children have told me I am now a "Missionary Mom" (MM) - I didn't even know that I would now have a specific new title or rank!  They have been so kind to check up on me, share tips & tricks, send me texts, visit, and bring me "care packages" already!  :)

I got a bag full of assorted fun size M & M's (I was told it stands for "Missionary & Mom")

All my kids want to eat them, but I ask them, "Are you an MM?  I don't think so!  Run along now!"  ;)

I also got this cute card:

(front)

(inside)

And look at these bright & happy Gerbera daisies another friend brought to me:

A lot of people had told me that dropping him off at the MTC would be terrible, and HARD, and sad, and THE WORST, but truth be told, it was mostly happy!  To be a full-time missionary is something HE WANTS.  And it's something I WANT for him, too.  He was SO READY, he might as well just START!  Plus, I, myself, lived & trained at the MTC [for 8 weeks] 23 years ago, and when we drove into the entrance, I got this feeling of, "Ahhh, I'm coming home!"  And I think that helped a lot!  He's in a GREAT place!

Sure, my eyes filled up with tears during the final hugs and my voice was all quavering as I spoke my last words, but I was able to SMILE a lot, too.  And it's a bit quiet around home.  And I've had him on my mind almost constantly....wondering what he's doing/thinking/feeling.  And, of course, we're praying for him in every prayer.  And we've lost our 3rd driver and overnight "adult" babysitter!  boohoo.  But, it's GOOD!

I won't be writing on this blog about HIS mission.  A separate missionary blog has been set up for him to share HIS experiences on:
http://elderryanbrenchley.blogspot.com

Up All Night

Last night we watched a movie on Netflix called, "I Don't Know How She Does It."  

Almost right at the start of the movie, there was this one scene/quote in there that really caught my attention....because it was SO relateable.  It shows the main character (a mom) lying in bed at night, awake, just staring at the ceiling, while her husband is sound asleep next to her.  Her voice is simultaneously narrating the scene:

"A recent study showed that 64% of women with young children don't sleep through the night. 

Researchers were at a loss to explain WHY?

They could've asked me!

At night, I, like women all around the world, do THE LIST

• Emily's Birthday party theme:  Pirates or Pop Stars?
• Things to buy:  paper towels, toothpaste, pork chops, a birthday gift for Jedda's party....
• Find out if "Jedda" is a boy or a girl
• Call that guy
• Make a play date with the kid who doesn't bite
• Refill washer fluid in car  --  Wait a minute!  Shouldn't that be on Richard's (husband) list?  Who am I kidding?!?  Richard doesn't have a list!
• Wax something.....anything!
• Call Richard's mother and say, "Hi."
• OR just email, "Hi"
• Wash Ben's teddy bear
• Renew birth control pills
• Twinkies
• Ambien
• Finish year end fiscal summary........Oh no, START year end fiscal summary
• Hamster?
• Kegels?
• Bagels

...and on and on." 

Oh. My. Word!  I have been there!!!  This was the worst for me when my first (& only at the time) child was in his toddler years.  It was so maddening because he was finally sleeping through the night, but then, there I was lying awake, thinking about EVERYTHING!  Grrrr.

And then I discovered Melatonin. 

Now that I'm past the stage where any of my babies wake up in the middle of the night for nursings, I have been doing better about not waking in the middle of the night for THE LIST.  Now, instead, I make it through the night, only to wake up too early in the morning to THE LIST, while my husband is still sleeping in.  (And then he asks me why I didn't sleep in, when I had a chance to, on the weekend!??!)

So, THEN, last night....

I don't know if it had to do with the fact that:

I had just watched this movie 

OR

I had failed to take my Melatonin

OR

That I had slept in yesterday morning, after returning home late from an extended Spring Break family trip we took, then worked even later, so THE LIST had not been attended to at it's regular time.

But, I awoke at a little past 3:00 in the morning. 

And laid there.  And laid there.  

While Matt was snoozing away....

I tried to block out my own thoughts....

....because everything/one else in the house was QUIET - and I SHOULD be sleeping!

I was still awake when streams of light started to come in between the blind slats.

And I couldn't go back to sleep because the wheels were turning:

I finally started to write THE LIST down on a post-it notepad Kyle made me that I keep on my night stand.......and this was AFTER I'd already made a list while at dinner to get me back on track after being out of town for a week.....the middle of the night stuff was all new stuff!

I asked Matt this morning if he saw THE LIST I'd made during the night.....and he's like, "WHOA!  What the...?!?  Who does that?"

ME.

It's Not All it's Cracked Up to Be

My son is now 18 years old.

That means he's officially an adult.
(at least that's what he's been telling me.)

So, he had a Dr. appointment the other day, and I just dropped him off at the building entrance while I went to park the car (since we don't have an extra car anymore, I had to drive) and I moseyed on in about 5 minutes later.  It didn't matter, because he's now an adult.

BECAUSE he's now an adult, he can check his own self in at the Dr. office.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he also has to sign all "consent to treat" and other like papers himself.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he can speak up for himself, he doesn't need his mom to answer for him.

BUT THEN, the moment I walked into the office, the two gals at the front desk asked, "Are you Ryan's mom?"

"Yes."

So, then they waved me on over to them and started going through the whole 9 yards with ME.

I reminded them, because I'm sure they already knew, that he is 18 yrs. old now. (after all, doctors always seem very interested in their patients' DOB - they ask it a few dozen times in the paperwork, over the phone for I.D. and in person, too.)

I found out later why.

Ryan told me the initial interaction went like this - he said he felt like an idiot:

Do you have a co-pay?

I don't know.

What insurance do you have?

I don't know

Do you have medical insurance?

I don't know.

When was the last time you were seen in our office?

I don't know.

Do you know your family medical history?

No.

Well, you'll have to fill out a new information chart.

OK.  

(And then he walked away, without the forms, and sat down in the waiting room - and that's where I found him when I walked in.)

They gave ME the stuff to fill out - and I promptly handed it over to him.
After he was done filling out the information - it's on an electronic tablet these days, with a stylus AND advertisements for drugs pop up when you're moving between screens.  What the what?!? - he signed his own name (he redid it about 5 times - to get his 1st official adult signature just right, ya know!)

I think he liked how it felt, doing such an "adult" thing, and he returned the tablet back to the front desk feeling good and less like an idiot than before.

AND THEN, they asked him for the money for the co-pay of the visit.

At which point, he had to call, "Mom!" (I looked up from my book, minding my own business in the waiting room), signal me to come up to the front desk, and have me open up my purse to take care of the transaction.

Man, being an adult means you actually have to do stuff - and know stuff - and pay for stuff!
Psfff!  It's for the birds!  ;)

**********
For the record, I did NOT go back into the exam room with him.  I let him field all the Dr.'s [awkward & personal] questions on his own, as well as show his back side to the Dr. in private.  ;)  And he got poked with various needles WITHOUT me holding his hand!
I had to let him regain his [adult] dignity somehow!  ;)

Told You So

I have this little sign in my home:

It speaks the plain truth!

(Although no one wants to admit it!)

Case(s) in point:

• My two youngest daughters think it IS ABSURD that I tell them to put their shoes away, WHEN they take them off, in their closet, that it will make their life (& mine) so much easier.  (At least, I'm assuming they think it's absurd since they totally ignore my counsel on this matter.)     AND THEN, they frequently get to experience the mad dash, frantic searching, & whining/tears which comes from not being able to find their shoes - and often still produces no shoes - and results in being late to school, church, & dance lessons.
• Since Friday is "early out" from school and really the only day that works out to play with friends after school, I tell my oldest daughter that she should do all of her reading before school, so she is free to play after.  Well, apparently it's another absurd idea because it's much more fun to just hang around doing nothing before school!       AND THEN, she has this one friend who seriously calls to play THE MINUTE she walks in the door from school.  And guess what?!?  She can't play since her reading is not done.  This is followed by MUCH weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
• My friend's daughter's basketball team had a couple players get injured and they were now short on players and asked about my daughter playing with them.  When I mentioned it to her, she protested, I don't want to play!  I told her it would be fun and she would be good - she's quite tall, after all.  Her sports lovin' older brother actually told her she didn't have a choice, that she WOULD play ball!  ;)  She went out in the garage to practice dribbling, and she tripped over some boards and fell down, so she shouted/cried at me, You should've never gotten me into this!  I told her not to trip on boards - there wouldn't be any on a real basketball court - and that she needs to try it and she would have a good time.     AND THEN, she did go play in the basketball game.  She was all smiles whenever she looked at us in the "stands" and beaming afterwards.  Her first words to me at the end of the game?  "I want to sign up to play basketball next year!!"
•  I tell my family to keep their elbows off the table.  They think I'm being too proper, that I'm obsessed with "old school" manners in our own home.     AND THEN, we average 9.2 spills a week.
• I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea and like to tell my family members this quote. NO ONE else in my home buys into this.  Why would they?  It's SO MUCH easier to just drop things along the way without paying any attention.    AND THEN, *someone's* wallet is ALWAYS missing (along with all their money!) when they need to go somewhere with it.
• I've suggested an "after school routine" for my very distractable, can't-remember-what-she's-doing-when-she-walks-from-one-room-to-the-next daughter.  It goes like this:

4:00 Arrive Home

4-4:15 After school snack

4:15-4:30  ONE page of assigned homework

4:30-4:50 Practice piano

4:50-5:10 Read

So, by 5:15, she is DONE with EVERYTHING, and FREE to do whatever she wants until bedtime!!! 

She has chosen NOT to adhere to this whatsoever UP UNTIL last week (when we had to have a "duct tape intervention."  Meaning we took all 23 rolls away from her until she could go a week demonstrating responsibility & initiative.)  So, she follows the schedule, and she discovers what "free time" with no checking up from parents feels like - what a novel idea!!!  And she says to me, "This is so great!  Why haven't I been doing this all along?!?"

• But, probably THE BIGGEST "I told you so" incidences that's been on my mind [almost constantly] this week has something to do with the fact that after being a 3 car family for just a mere 5 1/2 weeks, we are back to being a 2 car family.  This is a result of our 3rd car now being deemed "undriveable" due to its extensive damage it has sustained by it's *driver* who was driving it in a way that was contrary to the ways I had always told them to drive!  Let alone, what really COULD HAVE happened to the *driver* if they weren't so lucky blessed to come out unharmed - at least physically!!!  But, what do I know?  I grew up in the 80's!  (*that person's* favorite line to say to me.)  As if "defensive driving" was ONLY applicable when I was in my youth!?!  

 Grrrrrr!
What do they say?  You learn 20% of what your hear, but 80% of what you experience.  You have to experience it to learn it.

And then it still comes back to this:

A Couple of Math Equations

1.

 +

 +

 +

 +

 +

 =

A much needed [Winter] BREAK in Hawaii last week.

2.

 {It's the wait-until-Mom-gets-home-to-finish-Science-Fair-project-that's-DUE-the-NEXT-DAY-syndrome}

To find out how I feel about those things, read HERE.

+

 +

 {I haven't got a clue!}

+

 +

 

{Why is unpacking such a daunting task?}

 +

 +

=

A RUDE awakening to my harsh reality!

The Last of a First

MY BABY lost her first tooth today!

Except BABIES don't lose teeth.....

Which means......

She's probably NOT a baby anymore....???

It is kind of alarming to think about.

All of a sudden it was hard for me to swallow.

Should I cheer?

Or should I cry?

It felt quite eerie to me.

I have had "LITTLE CHILDREN" for so long.....
(17 2/3 years to be exact)
...that somehow it seemed like I would have them forever....

And with the loss of a tooth....it's a sign that the "little" is on it's way out.

I've thought about the "someday" when I would no longer be in the "little" stage all these year a lot, no doubt - but it was always an unreachable future (far off future) date!

Basically, I never thought this day would come.

And it just did.

I kind of have a headache.

And my teeth are chattering.
(But that may be because it's 11:30 at night and I just drank a whole cup of ice cold water.)

I'm amazed.  And confused.
(Name that song & artist!)

Miss B was SO eager to show all her brothers & sisters as they came home from school one by one.
(She claims she can "whistle" out the hole, now.  It's more like a "blow", but whatever!)

I was really excited along with her as they each reacted with delight.....
And then I kinda wanted to pretend it didn't happen, too, all at the same time.

When I think about it, the "word" that comes to my mind is "Uh Oh" - as my eyes dart this way and that way and I wonder, Am I in the Twilight Zone?

It is an unfamiliar, mystifying place to be!

*******
In other news, the normally irresponsible, extremely tardy, down-right neglectful Tooth Fairy has already made the visit!  The money is waiting under her pillow as we speak (or write).

He's (she?) trying to redeem him(her?)self.

You see, I think the promptness & dependable behavior of the Tooth Fairy can be explained by the fact that at the very moment her actual tooth came out, I was in my office, with the door closed, working, and she was eating a corn dog in the kitchen (she bit into the stick, and out came her tooth!)  I heard a little cry/whimper, but then it stopped.  A minute later, she came into my office and got up into my face, with her mouth open (and a bit bloody) and let out a moan of sorts - to my surprise, she'd lost a tooth!  And THEN I realized I had MISSED it!  The last first tooth juncture of any of my children - GONE!  And then I berated myself.  I know!  Mother of the Year material right there.
(Although, if I were being realistic, losing a tooth happens away from home [& Mom] all the time.  My other children have lost them at school quite a bit, in fact.  Heck!  I lost my first tooth on the school bus - because I was biting on the seat in front of me. [gross!] )
But, still.....I expect MORE THAN reality.....it's a surefire way to go insane! 

The Writing on the Wall......or Mirror

I have been listening to General Conference talks while I get ready in my bathroom for the day. When I hear a line or phrase that REALLY strikes a chord with me, I have been writing it down......with a dry erase marker, in large-ish letters, on my bathroom mirror.

This way, I can see and read it again and again - like EVERY TIME I walk into the bathroom. While I'm brushing my teeth. While I'm washing my hands. While I'm putting in my contacts.......No wait, let's be honest - I can't see, let alone read, ANYTHING real if my contacts aren't in. Soooo, every other time besides then, it's a good reminder!

Here's my latest:

"There is no substitute for love."

It's taken from President Thomas S. Monson's talk titled, "Come, All Ye Sons of God"

(http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/come-all-ye-sons-of-god?lang=eng)

This one hit me because I have my children and my Young Women (12-18 yr. old girls at church, who I feel like are numbered among my children) on my mind SO MUCH - particularly while listening to the words of our church leaders.  There HAS TO BE love.  They need to know I love them.  Even - and especially - for the ones who make me super, uber frustrated sometimes!!!

I checked this book out from the library to give my more inspiration on the subject:

The other ones that have "made the mirror" so far are:

"...A still voice of perfect mildness..."

This one is taken from Sister Rosemary M. Wixom's talk (General Primary President) titled, "The Words We Speak"

(http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/the-words-we-speak?lang=eng)

It is also a quote from scripture, Helaman 5: 30.

I don't need to holler around the house like a maniac when I'm trying to find someone.  I could, like, actually get up and go to another floor or walk down the hall and speak to that person NORMALLY and calmly!!  

I can learn from that voice from heaven - it gave firm direction while giving hope.  It was not loud, scolding, or demeaning.   This is SO hard!  Even 3+ years after I first wrote on this blog about it, I don't have it perfected!  I AM practicing at it though - and I've found that when I speak even quieter than my "normal" voice, my husband ALWAYS says, "What?"  Uh Oh, he can't even tell what I said - his hearing is going!  But, my vision is going - SO WE MAKE A GREAT [disabled] PAIR!  ;)

Here's another one:

"Recognize the good in others, not their stains....always build on his or her virtues."

This was taken from Richard G. Scott's talk titled, "For Peace at Home"

(http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/for-peace-at-home?lang=eng)

This may be very beneficial to the "Love" one above.  It could lower my disappointment in others and prevent me from becoming upset or discouraged about others and what they are doing with their Free Agency!  This one is hard, too - it's against my natural tendencies (and the part of me that is "Realistic"!)

Because I erase the previous one when I write down a new one, I wanted to record them here! :)

But, I am thankful for the EASE of which we have to listen to the words of God.  It's right there on my iPad in the comfort of my own bathroom - with just a few touches!  So great!

My "Theory" has been Proven RIGHT

Our doorbell rang last night while I was kneeling at Katelyn's bed with her, listening to her bedtime prayer.  She went on a little bit longer, so I couldn't make it to answer the door for a couple of minutes.....
 
Maybe it was a Good Thing, because when I DID answer the door, NO ONE was there, but, instead, this "Mountain Dew display" was arranged on our front porch.  My extra delay in getting to the door, obviously gave the "culprit" plenty of getaway time!

A closer look:

CODE RED is Red...    VOLTAGE is Blue...

Will you "DEW" me the honor....

of going to MORP with you?!

The 10 cans of [red & blue] Mountain Dew lined up in the front each had a letter written with black marker on the bottom of the can......

Put them all in order, and it spelled the girl's first & last name!  (I didn't show that photo to protect the privacy of the innocent - from the TWO people who read this blog.  Hi, Mom & Dad!)

Ryan actually wasn't home at the time, so I just went out there and took all the photos, but left it all there for when he came home a few hours later.  IF the "Special Delivery Person" was still hiding somewhere on the street or nearby, they probably watched me taking all the pictures on the front porch like a dork - I hope they were entertained!  :)

ANYWAY, as exciting as getting asked to the dance is, my main point of the post is THIS:  My teenaged son might finally BELIEVE me!

Back in the Fall, when Homecoming Dance (boy's choice) was coming up, Ryan hemmed & hawed about whether or not he was going to go.  The longer he took to decide, the closer the dance was coming, and it was nearing the point when it would be too late to ask anyone.  He didn't know WHO to ask - so I gave him suggestions.  Some of them were "off limits" since they were "so and so's girl" or they'd already been asked.  As far as the other girls, he worried that THEY wouldn't want to go with HIM.  He said he wasn't going to go.  Then he decided he wanted to go.  He even used my [unknown number] cell phone to "investigate" with some other students to find out if certain girls had been asked or not yet.......THAT texting conversation was INTERESTING to read after I got my phone back.  He found someone he was going to ask......but then he talked himself out of it.  I tried to clue him in to the FACT that girls DO NOT like it when the boys WILL NOT ask anyone to the dance, because that means all the more girls won't have to opportunity to go at all.  I told him the girls would be MAD at him for just sitting home instead.  I tried to emphasize to him that the consequences of his choice NOT to ask anyone would be that, in turn, girls would NOT want to ask him to a dance.  As his mom, I had to give him the facts:  THAT is how it IS and he was making a mistake.

He thought I didn't know what I was talking about!  (After all, I've never been a teenage girl???!!???)   He claimed it was just another one of my crazy "theories" that I was using on him to get him to do what I wanted.  I told him I KNEW.  I was one of those mad girls myself before....but he thinks I'm just an anomaly, so what I experienced can't possibly be applied to the normal female population in general.  So, in the end, he DID NOT go to the Homecoming Dance.

And the day after the dance when he started hearing from all his peers who did go, he WISHED HE WOULD'VE.  He regretted not going.  (What did I tell him?)

And then come December, the next school dance was scheduled....he did not get asked to the Girl's Choice Christmas Dance.  (surprise, surprise.)  Yet, he would still not recognize - or admit - that "Mother knows best."  He came up with other excuses for being "passed up" - none of which was accepting it was a direct result of him not asking anyone a few months earlier.

Because he was sorry he missed out on Homecoming, I informed him that I was not going to let him chicken out of the next boys' choice dance, Valentine's Dance.  He said he wanted to go.  I told him if he had not asked someone by (such & such date), I was going to PICK the girl myself and ask her for him.  He actually replied, "Oh, Thanks.  That would really take a load off!"  He ended up taking care of asking a girl before the deadline, so he did not need my "services" after all.  :)  As recorded in my last post, he actually went on the date last Saturday.  Good job!  He had redeemed himself in the eyes of High School girls.

AND THEN just 5 DAYS LATER, by way of a year's supply of Mountain Dew, a girl asked him to the next Girl's Choice dance (which is in 4 1/2 weeks).

COINCIDENCE?!?

I think (know) not! 

And Ryan [privately] concurs, too.   

{smile}