The Moment of Truth

I got a letter in the mail.

It's from the Driver License Division.

Uh Oh...

It's a "Courtesy Driver License Renewal notice."

Apparently, I have reached the MAXIMUM number of years allowed to renew my D. L. by mail.

Oh, no.

THIS YEAR I am required to appear IN PERSON at a D. L. examining office.

And, at minimum, I will have to blah, blah, blah and complete a new application AND have my photo taken (I just skimmed over some things since these are the two that have sent me into a panic!!!)

OH CRAP!


You see, I have managed to avoid this for quite some time. In fact, I have a Driver License that probably looks like no one else's from my state. I just don't have the "OLD" one, I have the "OLD, OLD" design of license...yes - they have changed the look of our State's license TWICE since I've gotten one. And I don't like the new look. PLUS, I have enjoyed living with all the "false" info & photo that is on my current D. L. When I renewed last time, I was seriously 8 months pregnant with Kyle and when I asked, they told me I should not put my current weight on the application (since it was "temporary" - HA! So much they knew.) They told me to write down my "pre-pregnancy" weight or just to leave it the same as my previous license. So, I took their suggestion, of course! I have been driving around with a license that has my weight from when I was 24 yrs. old on it - for the last 15 years!! And, amazingly, considering my great-with-child state I was in, the photo may have been my best D. L. photo of the three that I've ever had - way better than I could produce now, that's for sure!

Now, can you understand WHY I am not embracing this opportunity?!?

I've been trying to formulate a plan in my mind....Is it possible to get back down to my 24-yr. old weight in the next 8 weeks, so I can keep the same number? How about I just don't weigh myself between now & then so I can honestly say, "I don't know my weight." And then on that day that I appear IN PERSON, I'll just "guess" - and by default, I would most likely "guess" the weight that I've gotten used to seeing on my D. L. during the last 15 years. Can I just enter my "happy weight?" Or would that make me unidentifiable? I could just "meet in the middle" (of actual & "happy weight") with my number. Or go more towards the low-middle. Or low-low-middle. Or would 20-30 lbs. under my actual weight be more believable/acceptable? Maybe I'll just put the actual weight, I mean how many people really look at my license anyway? Only the cops, and TSA, and airport crewmembers, and grocery store clerks, and bank tellers, and people who find my lost wallet at the Ball Park, and MY KIDS who snoop around in my stuff...Okay, THEY could be the most damaging witnesses of all...it'd for sure come up in a future Home Teaching visit. Or in school. Or amongst their friends while engaging in a "one up" conversation - it'd give a whole new meaning to the classic My-Mom-is-bigger-than-yours banter! Can't have THAT! How many other people LIE about their weight on their license? Is leaving it blank an option? They don't have a scale there and force you to stand on it, do they? If not, I could literally write down ANY number I wanted, right? But, I'm such a "rule follower." Hmmm...

Well, whatever it is I do about the weight thing,

there's NOTHING I can do about the photo!

DOUBLE CRAP!!