What Makes a Cool Parent

A while ago, one of my other friends made a post about how her teenage daughter informed her that she did not consider them "cool." This, of course, got me thinking about my own teenager's opinion of HIS parents (that's Me & Matt!) So, the best way to find out was to flat out ask...

Here's how the conversation went down:

Me: "Do you think Dad & I are cool?"
Ryan: "Sure!"
I'm feeling pretty good, now, thinking we don't have the "problem" that our friend has, UNTIL he adds on something more...
Ryan: "BUT, some of my friend's parents are A LOT cooler!"
And then he can't stop - just POURIN' the salt in the wound...
Ryan: "In fact, I'd say in comparison, - they're WAY cooler than YOU!"

I wanted proof.

"Like who?" I demanded.

Like Dane. And Kennedy. And Jared, Russell, & Dathan. And don't forget Lizzy, Tyler, Calvin, & Kat. And for sure Grey, Nate, & Conner.

Hmmmm...

So, just in case you're wondering (as I was) just WHAT makes a parent, "cool" - I got the low-down from Ryan:

• One of his friend's parents once paid Ryan $5.00 just to sit in his chair at a community event (since she didn't have one.) So, if you want to be "cool," parents should give their child(ren) money to get favors/service out of them.
• Treat children like royalty. Think they are ALL THAT. Laugh at everything they ever say. Remind them how brilliant everything they ever do is. Feed their ego. Act like the world revolves around them!
• Become a crazed, infatuated-with-Edward, fanatic and actually READ the Twilight series. And by READ, that means like in ONE day....and READ past the 1st book - as in ALL OF THEM! And then, see the movie a handful of times in the theater...and then, buy the DVD, of course.
• Be available to drive your child everywhere and anywhere at a moment's notice. And you never say, "I can't right now, the baby's asleep."
• Buy them their own cell phone AND pay for the monthly bill (with unlimited minutes, texts, usage.)
• Let them go out every Friday AND Saturday night (or whenever they please) with no limits or babysitting requirements.
• Pay them at least $25/week allowance.
• Allow them to invite all the friends they want to a Birthday Party at Boondocks.
• Always give them "ideas" on how to do their homework (READ "do it for them.")
• Be completely CAREFREE.
• Buy them Lagoon season passes.
• Be in a movie.
• Totally be into computer/tech "stuff."
• Be funny - tell jokes.
• Always have gum on hand to share.
• Be a U of U season ticket holder (with extras so you can always invite a friend!)
• Act young.
• Play football in the hall at church with them.
• Talk to them well past their bedtime (and well into your "alone time") with no enforcement of them needing to go to bed.
• Talk about cool "stuff."
• Have a "cool" employment history, like being a Jailer, a Fireman (in Park City), or a Lawyer.
• Own guns and hunt a lot (and then have "cool" hunting stories.)
• Buy illegal fireworks in Wyoming to use on the 4th of July
• Always ask them if they need $$$, and give it to them.
• Coach all their children's teams.
• Take them to Major League Baseball games all over.
• (For Moms) Go outside & play basketball with them & their friends [and do so skillfully].
• Clean their rooms for them.
• Act Nice
• Don't ground them, scold them, or punish them.
• Let them spend the whole summer "veg"-ing out in the cool, dark basement with all-you-can-watch T.V. privileges, all-you-can-eat snacks, and without doing any work whatsoever.

I told him I'm not trying to be "COOL," I am trying to be his PARENT.