Words are so important.
Right from the beginning of the conference, our presenter/mentor wanted us to write down just three words on our name tag that we wanted to be....it was just to get our mind starting to think in that direction.
There's so many words - and we could choose ANY of the hundreds of thousands that exist in our English language EXCEPT we were not allowed to choose "uptight," "rigid," or "controlling." ;) Those were words that had she had drawn the "no symbol" (ya know that red circle with a diagonal line through it?) on her giant post-it paper pad up front, because those traits ruin our femininity and are not characteristics of a "queen."
Later, we practiced saying general declarations that were written in our class book, out loud, with the group, to get us used to saying positive words about ourselves.
We even got to "play with" (draw from it's sheath and raise above our heads) a Gandalf-esque sword
Anyway, those were just some of the activities (there were many others) we did throughout the conference to get us in the frame of mind to choose words for ourself.
By the end of the weekend, I chose five words.
Calm
Compassionate
Healthy
Energetic
Delightful
When I am going about my day; when I am wiping down the kitchen counters, while I put away clothes, when I'm on the phone with a not-so-happy customer at work.... I repeat this phrase to myself. "I am a calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, delightful woman." I have been saying it daily (sometimes multiple times). My plan is to keep saying it a lot.
When I don't feel like getting up early in the morning to go out exercising, I say it in my mind.
When I look in the mirror, and I think, "bleh," I say it in my mind.
The other day, when I was leaving the check out at Costco after I'd just purchased a large amount of items (who doesn't have a large amount of items when they go to Costco?) and had had some problems that came up while checking out, I heard the cashier greet his next customer after me, "How are you today?" And I heard her reply loudly-enough-so-that-I-could hear, "Well, I was fine until I got in line behind that lady!" I repeated my words (with emphasis on calm, compassionate, and delightful!) in my mind over and over and over the whole way out of the store, through the parking lot, while unloading all my stuff (that caused a long check out), and even after I got into the car!! ;)
When I got really upset at home (no!) towards a particular person (who shall remain nameless) and situation, I said this phrase in my mind all evening!
I didn't choose the words calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, and delightful because that's what I believe I am....I chose them because I struggle to believe those things about myself. And I can tell you, the more I have repeated that in my mind, the more calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic and delightful I have been able to feel in that moment. Can it be that I am starting to believe them more? It gives me strength to do things I might otherwise not have done.
These words can. change. me.
(Because that was another mantra of the conference, "For things to change, I must change.")
Just five words - out of thousands.
(Though, as I write this, it’s past meal time and I don't have any plans to make it and I let a stream of complaints and general disgruntlement flow out of my mouth earlier. And there's the fact that I still haven't gotten around to doing some of our "SBL" outings this summer. And when my son reminded me for the third (+) time that he STILL needs new soccer cleats due to his first game being in just 2 1/2 weeks, and my youngest [unedited] daughter asks why I have all those "red dots" on my chin… I should have responded, “Because I’m HEALTHY…and ENERGETIC…and DELIGHTFUL…”)
So......
What are your words?
