Utah Census Form

1.__________________________(Given name)

2.__________________________(SURNAME)

3. Descendant of:
a. Brigham Young____
b. Heber C. Kimball____
c. Laman and Lemuel____
d. Cain____

4. Tribe of Israel:____________________

5. Number of occupants residing in home in each category:
(Listed in Chronological order)
a. Nursery____
b. Junior Primary____
c. Senior Primary____
d. Young Women's____
e. Young Men's____
f. Relief Society____
g. Elder____
h. Dearly Departed____
i. High Priest____

6. Occupation [Please select all that apply.]:
a. Amway dealer____
b. Shaklee dealer____
c. Nonie juice dealer____
d. NuSkin dealer____
e. Melaleuca dealer____

7. Automobile:
a. Station Wagon____
b. Van____
c. Suburban____
d. School Bus____
e. Double Decker____
f. BMW (Big Mormon Wagon)____

8. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday:
a. Chuck-A-Rama____
b. Hometown Buffet____
c. Sumo Sam's All You Can Eat Feeding Trough____

9. Favorite Hero:
a. Nephi____
b. Abinadi____
c. Samuel the Lamanite____
d. Steve Young____
e. Johnny Lingo____

10. Which of the following do you bring to church [check all that apply.]:
a. Scriptures____
b. Franklin Planner/Daytimer____
c. Pen/Pencil____
d. Lifesavers/Cheerios____
e. Tic Tacs____
f. Game Boy____
g. Big Gulp____
h. Cooler____
i. Sony Walkman____
j. TV Watch____
k. All of the above____

11. Do you prepare your church lessons:
a. A month in advance____
b. A week in advance____
c. While in the bathtub____
d. While on the toilet____
e. During Sacrament Meeting____
f. During the closing prayer of Sacrament Meeting____
g. During the opening prayer of the class you're teaching____
h. Just wing it [according to the promptings of the Spirit]____

12. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with Big Gulp holders?:
yes____
no____

13. How many years has your family sat in the same place for Sacrament Meeting?:
a. 10-20 years____
b. 20-30 years____
c. 30-40 years____
d. Over 3 generations____

14. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a High Council talk?:
a. 1/1000,000,000th of a second____
b. 1/999,999,999th of a second____
c. 1/999,999,998th of a second____

15. Which day of the month do you go Home/Visiting Teaching?:
a. 31st____
b. 31st____
c. 31st____
d. 31st____

16. How many church basketball fights were you in last year?:
a. 1-10____
b. 10-20____
c. 20-30____
d. You'll have to ask my Lawyer____

17. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening?:
a. Arguing about getting along____
b. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner____
c. Gathering around the television to watch, "Everybody Loves Raymond?"____

18. How many times a year do you make:
a. Green Jell-O salad____
b. Funeral potatoes____
c. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad____
d. Turkey, cashews and grape-stuffed croissants____

19. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own?:
a. 1-2 thousand____
b. 2-3 thousand____
c. 3-4 thousand____
d. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake____

20. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in the nation?:
a. Alcatraz____
b. Fort Knox____
c. Ward Libraries____

21. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you'll win the Pinewood Derby?:____

22. Keeping the Word of wisdom in mind, how much of the following do you consume:
a. Chocolate:____pounds daily X 365 days annually = ____
b. Cola:____gallons daily X 365 days annually = ____

23. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attending a BYU/U of U football game, which would you choose?
a. Second Coming____
b. Football game____


AMEN