Things I've Heard on the Job: #3

It's time for another installment in the continuing Saga of "On the Phones at JetBlue" for your reading pleasures (actually more for my own memory/record.)

* Right in the middle of a phone conversation I was having with a customer....
Customer: "SHUT UP!"
Me: (pause. silence. pause.)
Customer: "My husband is being obnoxious! Go on..."

* Customer: I need you to look up my reservation.
Me: Sure. May I have your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: I don't know it, just look it up with my name!"
Me: I will need a confirmation number or a credit card number to locate your reservation."
Customer: Why can't you pull up my reservation with just my name? Every other agent has been able to do it for me."
Me: (thinking) That is so NOT true! (but actually said) "I'm not sure how that happened before. For YOUR safety and privacy we're unable to release any of the information on your itinerary without one of these numbers."
Customer: "Unbelievable!...here it is....'R' as in RETARDED...."
(I guess there's no question how he felt about ME!) :)

* Customer: "Oh, I need your help."
Me: "Hhh....." (cut off)
Customer: "I've got to get my grandson back home. But, my Ex-Daughter-in-Law has NO HEART! None! You just can't even believe this lady."
Me: "Oooo...." (cut off)
Customer: "My grandson's dad died and then his puppy died, too. His Grandpa who practically raised him is about to die. And she won't let him cut his visit short with her to come back. He needs to be with his Grandpa one last time - they have a good relationship even though I'm not married to him anymore!"
Me: "Mmm..." (cut off)
Customer: "I'm thinking about my grandson, but that Ex-Daughter-in-Law, I'm telling you - she has NO HEART! You see, his dad 'O. D.ed' and suddenly died and she won't pay to change his flight even though it was her turn to pay for this visits' expenses."
Me: "Bbb..." (cut off)
Customer: "We'd drive down to get him, but the car won't even make it to San Juan. Oh, all this makes us sound like a bum!"
Me: "Lll..." (cut off)
Customer: "Well, I know that there is a price to change flights, but SHE [her voice laced with disdain] won't do anything about it! Oh, my grandson just needs to come back. Well, thanks for giving me 'YOUR EAR,' I better let you go now. Good Bye."
Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue."
(Those darn Daughter-in-Laws!) ;)

* Me: "As far as seating goes, would you like aisle or window, if available?"
Customer: "I don't care, just as long as it's on the INSIDE of the plane!"

Me: "You bet! I can do that." :)


* After giving my customer a price quote for the flight she told me she wanted to book (On a trip for just her)....
Me: "Would you like me to go ahead and make your reservations for you at this time?"
Customer: "Oh, I don't have any money right now. I need to wait for Child Support money. But, I just got my bar tending job back, in Manhattan, so I can make phenomenal money! Can you book it for me "until everything comes through" for me?"
Me: "Actually, the only way to confirm a flight and lock in the fare is to purchase it."
Customer: "OK, I guess I'll have to call back [with doubt in her voice]....later...sometime...maybe."
(You've heard the saying, "There's no such thing as a free lunch" right? Well, there isn't a free airline flight, either.) :)