Things I've Heard on the Job: #2

It's been awhile since I started this new "segment," but certainly NOT because there hasn't been any interesting "On the Phones @ JetBlue" experiences...I've just been blogging about other things, apparently.
But here's another addition....



* I got a call from a customer who, while she has me on the line, is trying to talk with family in the background about travel plans to see other family members. I can hear some little disagreements between everyone and complaints about the trip start...
Customer: "We're capital "D" for DYSFUNCTIONAL! That's the only way that describes the family!


* 8:30a.m. E.S.T.
Customer: "My daughter was suppose to be in at 7:50! Where the *%#@ is she?"
Me: "Let me check the flight status for you. What flight number is she on?"
Customer: "JetBlue flight #123. I'm waiting here at the JFK airport, and she's not here!"
Me: (checking) "Looks like flight #123 is scheduled to arrive at 7:50 in the evening, and it's on time."
Customer: "Oh...." click



* It is helpful to our customers to offer them our JetBlue card from American Express if they don't have one, so they can get their free flights easier & quicker, AND take advatage of special bonuses we have. AFTER I had just made a reservation for my customer for a flight to Montego Bay, Jamaica for 16 days, as is customary, I made the AMEX offer to her.
Customer: "Oh, I can't do anything right now - I'm unemployed! You do understand, don't you?"
Ummm, OK, I understand that you can't apply for a credit card right now, but, NO, I don't understand how the vacation you just booked relates to, "I can't do anything!!!"



* I got a call from a customer making a flight reservation in behalf of someone else...
Me: "Would he prefer a window or aisle seat, if available?"
Customer: "Oh...just not a middle! He'll needs an aisle. He is pretty heavy - He's a priest!
Me: (trying to control my laughter) "OK, lets find him a good aisle seat!"
(Now...should that be self-explanatory to me? Is it common knowledge that priest = heavy? Something else I didn't know!)



* I was helping an older gentleman book a flight for himself & his wife. He asked me to repeat what I said quite a bit, always apologizing to me that his hearing was not the best. We finally got an acceptable itinerary together and I quoted him the flight details and fares.
Me: "How does that sound for you?"
Customer: "Let me check with my bride of 54 years....THAT'S why I'm deaf!"