Pick Your Pain

This is what I did this morning......because who can think of ANYTHING MORE FUN to do on a Friday morning?!?

I hurt my back two weeks ago and I have been in pain ever since, so WHAT'S A LITTLE MORE PAIN, right?  ;)

I actually took the liberty to interpret the "Annual" recommendation for mammograms pretty loosely!  Like almost two years liberty.  BUT, I figured since I had FOUR (4!) in one year between 2011-12 (while they figured out I just have "junk in my ducts"), then that still averages out to be one a year since I turned 40!  ;)

When I finally decided to call in to make the appointment last Monday, it shocked me that they could see me in 4 days time!!!

I wasn't ready for that....what about mental preparation?

At first, I thought I could excuse myself out of it because Kindergarten gets out early on Fridays and I wouldn't be back in time, so I asked how long it would take.  The receptionist said 45 minutes --  from arrival to departure.  45 minutes?  WHAT medical related appointment ever takes just 45 minutes??

But, I went - and she was TRUE TO HER WORD!  I walked in at 9:25 and walked out at 10:10.

Here's some observations I had in those 45 minutes:

~We (myself & other ladies) waited in a waiting room (duh!) but were then, individually, called back to some desks on one side of the room, that were kind of separated from the waiting area by a half wall.  There, we would officially "check in" with a secretary type person.  I THINK this part is suppose to be private - they were asking us questions and such - BUT I COULD TOTALLY HEAR EACH & EVERY QUESTION THEY ASKED ALL THE PATIENTS THEY CALLED OVER while I sat waiting several feet away!!!

~To the office's credit, they do have an awesome flat screen TV on the wall of the waiting area that shows kind of like a scenery movie.  There are peaceful and beautiful scenes of waterfalls, and trees with really green foliage, and flowing streams, etc. all playing to the background music of soothing piano melodies.

*I MAY have closed my eyes while I was sitting there!*  ;)

It's a good idea to have it in their clinic -- maybe it's an attempt to get people's minds off what is about to happen to them!?  OR to distract us from hearing the other patients discussion with the secretaries about their previous "emergency contact" is now their ex-husband, whether or not they can speak English, if they are an organ donor, the details of their boob history, and their financial situation.

Which reminds me, one of my "favorites" I have saved on AccuRadio is called "Romantic Piano" - it's the beautiful sounds of the world's most versatile instrument.  That station is for when things get too crazy around here - like during the "witching hours"  (weekdays 4-6 p.m.)

~In the locker room, there were a bunch of robes monogrammed with their clinic's name & logo (Think what you see in nice hotels or spas).  But, the technician who took me back said that they were all the same size -- AND they were TOO SMALL in the shoulders to fit....so just put on the cape thing.  SO, WHAT'S THE POINT?!?  Don't tease us like that!

~While the technician was positioning me on the "smash machine," she informed me she's done a previous mammogram of mine.  Based on WHEN she made the comment, I thought she had said that because she recognized my breasts as ones she's handled before!  I was kind of stunned (freaked out) UNTIL I realized, she had just looked at my history on the computer in the room and it showed all the dates and people who had performed the tests.  whew! 
But, ya know what?!?  I'm pretty good at remembering details, but I DID NOT recognize her at all, let alone recall having her as my mammogram technician in the past!  Just goes to show that I must have blocked my previous experiences due to the high level of stress/discomfort - Repressed Memory is real!  (Even though it's controversial in the psychology world!)

~Considering the state of my aching back, it was even more difficult to follow all her instructions of:
Lean in
Put your other foot forward
Look the other way
Relax your arm
Pull your stomach back out of the way
Bring your armpit down to the plate
Chin up
Hair out of the way
Hold your breath
Don't Move
Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself about

My back has been hurting pretty bad in a NORMAL POSITION, but it hurt even worse GETTING INTO [the correct] POSITION there!

BUT, for the actual SMASH moments for the four different images they took.....Guess What?!?.....I did not notice the pain in my back!
It was trumped by the pain in my boobs!