I Made the Discovery about 4 Hours Too Late

That awkward moment when..... 

...you're changing your clothes AFTER the 2nd Grade Field Trip you chaperoned, 

and you discover there is a HOLE in the seat of the pants you wore.

And this Field Trip happened to be a walking field trip to the Farmington Pond ---

where we walked in a line of mini-groups, 2nd graders and adult chaperons combined, and there was ALWAYS a group(s) following behind me!!

{Here's my group}

 {a hole big enough for my 2nd grader to put most her fingers through!}

What d'ya think?!?
Will Brookelle EVER want me to come on another Field Trip with her class again?!?  ;)


*Grasping for the last string of positivism and hope....Nobody said anything - so that means no one noticed, right?!?  Right?  Hello?  Anybody there?  Maybe?

But, on the BRIGHT SIDE.....
I killed it on my FitBit results that day, earning the "high tops" badge = 20,000 steps in a day!

(I'm gonna claim the number of hours of sleep I got the night before had something to do with me

 donning hole-y pants for the field trip!) ;)

Miscues, Misunderstandings, and Mistakes

I just spent my weekend at Queen of the Kingdom with about 400 other women.
It is a training/learning opportunity and women's conference by the company, 3 Key Elements.

But, in addition to being trained all weekend, there were some funny/embarrassing/baffling parts of the weekend, too.  :)

#1  For one activity, words to a song were passed out, and we sang together.  It was a song that I was not familiar with, had never heard.  The title is, "Princess" as sung by Galen Crew.  In the song, there's a sentence where the lyrics pause....pause...pause while music is playing softly, then the final words of the sentence are sung after the pause.
So, here's my disclaimer: if you didn't know the song (like I didn't) and were only looking at the printed words on our paper, you might not get the tune/tempo/timing right, at first. 
As we were all standing and singing as a group, the leader/mentor (who was wired with a mike) was walking through the crowd, and would touch our arm, signaling she wanted us to sing with her (and louder?!)  Well, she came up to me, and at that moment, it happened to be that one part of the song with the pause!  So, I'm all singing with her (kinda louder than I had been) and I totally jumped the gun on those lyrics that were suppose to come AFTER the pause, and I sang out strong (near her mike) during the pause!  Woops!  It was heard by many!  AND the thing is; my premature entrance on my singing caused her to follow and sing at the wrong time, too!  hahaha.

#2  For another activity, we walked around the room and mingled with as many other women as we could in a designated period of time.  We were suppose to go up to someone and say, "What do you see in me?"  And then, they were suppose to just look at us, and go with their feelings/intuition and say the first word that came to their mind.  We would then switch roles, and the other person would ask us the same question, and we would tell them what we "saw."  We were suppose to write down what everyone said, so that at the end, we had a whole list of attributes about us.
So, I'm going along doing the activity, and had already talked to many when I come to a new [younger] woman and I asked, "What do you see in me?"
And she replied, "Dumb S_ _ _"
Taken back, I asked, "Pardon?"
"Dumb S_ _ _," she said again.
By now I'm thinking, Is she REALLY saying that about me?  Or is this the new "compliment" amongst the younger crowd these days?
But, just to be sure, I repeated back to her, "Did you say 'dumb s_ _ _?'"
And she said, "NO. Dumb s_ _ _."
Well, I was relieved she said, "No" but I was still hearing the same word that followed.
She must've seen my perplexed face because then she repeated it more slowly so I could understand this time, "Gumption."
"Oh, gumption!?!" I responded.
"Yes," she answered.
Whew!  I'll take it!  Following what I'd just thought I heard, that was the best word ever!  Gumption: initiative, resourcefulness, ingenuity, sense, backbone, courage, spunk.

#3 On one of our breaks, I had to go to the bathroom, and so I headed to it.  There was another lady entering the bathroom ahead of me, and the door was closed about half-way when I reached it, so I pushed it open so I could go in after her.  The lady turned and stood in front of the door opening and blocked me from going any further.
"This is a one-person bathroom," she informed me.
Huh?!?  How many bathrooms don't have multiple stalls these days?  I just assumed......
Well, you know what they say about assuming.....
As soon as I realized what was going on, I apologized profusely.  Poor lady.....she probably thought I wanted to "share" in her using the facilities experience that day - which I totally didn't!

Oh, dear.  Just a sampling of the cringeworthy things that happen to me on a regular basis!  ;)

Don't You Wish I Was Your Mom?

Haylee's Jr. High Science teacher was offering extra credit to any of her students who came to the "Moon viewing" to see the TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE at the school on Wednesday morning.....from 5:15-6:15AM.

But, ya always gotta take advantage of extra credit!

Matt was leaving really early in the morning anyway to take his parents to the airport, so the plan was for him to drop her off at the school, while I stayed home (ASLEEP IN BED) with our other children.

Her school doesn't start until 8:10a.m., so we talked about what she was going to do in between the moon viewing and school.  She just matter of factly told me that she would just walk back home.
Uhhh.....I DON'T THINK SO!  I put the brakes on that suggestion real fast.  It's still pitch dark at that time!  Did she really think that'd be a good idea?

She needed to do some catch up work in the keyboarding lab, so we talked about her doing that - except the lab doesn't open until 7:00a.m. so there was still some time unaccounted for.  Kyle was pretty sure the janitors get there that early, so he said the school would be unlocked.  She decided she would just go into the school and "hang out" until she could get into the lab.

Well, my eyes popped right open at 5:45a.m. and they were already gone, but I started to question whether or not she fully understood our plan for the morning.  And I became restless.  Then I thought, "Wonder if the school is still locked?  Wonder if all the lights are OFF in the school when she goes in?"  I couldn't go back to sleep.  Her comment about "just walking home" kept coming into my head.  That did it.  There was no chance I was falling asleep again. 

So, I got up.  I was driving over to the school.  I figured I'd just walk into the backyard of the school, find her, talk through the plan, and confirm that the school was open, etc.  It was still dark, so I figured I'd just go in my pajamas to save time.  At the last minute, I opted to change my PJ bottoms for my yoga capris instead....to be a little more presentable?

It turns out, the moon viewing was done by the time I got there, and no one was in the backyard anymore.  I talked to other kids who were outside and they told me that a lot of kids were in the school......

So, picture this;  I enter the Jr. High School wearing my pajama top, covered by a zip front hoodie (to cover up the fact that I was NOT wearing a bra), yoga capris, and flip flops.  I had just put on my glasses so I could see and had left without doing ANYTHING else, including looking in the mirror.  I had fresh BED HEAD and who knows what leftover make-up was smeared around my eyes or across my face.  I didn't think anything about it (I had only been thinking about saving Haylee from walking home in the dark) UNTIL I entered the front doors of the school and I saw many Jr. High students (a lot more than I expected!) hanging out all over in the commons area - and I saw their eyes turn to look at me.  THAT'S the first time I thought about HOW I looked.  Uh Oh!  (THAT'S the difference between women in their 40's & Jr. High students!)  I looked like a real beauty, I'm sure!

I proceeded to walk through the halls of the Jr. High and actually found her pretty quickly.  She was laying down on a bench (she got up at 4:20a.m.!) with a couple of friends.  When she saw me, she instantly became alert and she sat up and exclaimed, "MOM!  What are you doing?"  as the two other girls looked on.  I reminded her NOT to try to walk home that morning, and she was like, "I KNOW!  I'm not going to - you already told me I couldn't."  I went over the plan with her - while her friends watched & listened with fascination - and it turns out she had it all under control!  So, I turned around and walked back out of the Jr. High, passed the groups of other students with their stares, and drove back home.

I have a feeling there were some conversations going on amongst the kids about something to the effect of, "WOW!  I wish my mom would come to school like THAT!"  ;)

Bwah ha ha ha ha

BUSTED!

A friend of mine came over the other day with a house warming gift......and it led to her seeing our new home.  REALLY, I will let you have a tour FOR FREE - you don't need to feel like you have to bring over a gift to "get your foot in the door!"  :)

So, I took her into the Laundry Room.

Here it is:

She looked at those upper cabinets for a while and admired them.....She commented that it would be nice to have some in her own laundry room.....Then she stalled a bit....Then she asked if she could open them and take a look inside to see if I was obsessed with laundry detergent and had filled them all up with a 12 yr. supply of it what I stored in there.  I agreed.  After all, I'm a pretty curious person, myself.  So, she opened it, and that's when I remembered my little "stash" I have in there.....

It was right at her eye level -- and she DID NOT miss it!  Ooops!  How embarrassing.

Here, have a closer look:

Hey! Sometimes, a girl's gotta do whatever it takes to get through and cope with the laundry that a family of 7 produces!!!  ;)

BUT, just for the record, those are from my JUNK BOX I got for my birthday, which was Sept. 14th, so I have made them last more than 2 months! 

I've Been Having a "Ton of Fun" Lately

• This week I had my third mammogram in the last eight and a half months. YES, 3 TIMES IN 8 1/2 MONTHS!!! AND.....get this.....I get to go in AGAIN for my 4th in three more months. Now, THAT is a lot of smashin' going on! So much for delaying my first-ever mammo experience, I've more than made up for it, now. Apparently, I am not "textbook normal" and so that's put them in "appointment scheduling overdrive" while they try to figure me out. When I ask them questions, they reply, "I don't know." These "Medical Professionals" are quite impressive, wouldn't you agree?!? They deserve every bit of that HUGE salary they make to be able to give......the same answers my 3 yr. old does!

• I was feeling a little bit sad and paranoid after a local teen was hit by a car and killed this week while walking his bike across a crosswalk (I know! So terrible.) So, I decided I wanted to pick up Kyle at the Jr. High School after his track practice instead of letting him walk home. I arrived at 4:15 and couldn't see him. I waited out front. I drove around to the side of the school. I talked with a couple of the kids I saw there who either:

a) didn't know anything
b) hadn't seen him
c) told me track practice had been over for a while

So, I headed back home at 4:25, taking a different route in case he had started to walk and I had missed him on my way there. I arrived home at 4:28 without ever seeing him.
At 4:30 my phone rang. It was Kyle asking for a ride home from the school. I got back in the car......

• A chappy/red/rash looking thing has appeared under my lip (so lovely) this week, (great! Just in time for my 20 year mission reunion tonight) So, I have been putting Desitin on it in an attempt to get rid of it. When the kids see me, they're like, "MOM! Wash that toothpaste off your face! You look stupid!" I have opted not to correct them on this matter - in case this story "leaks" at school or during a Home Teaching visit, as it often does, I figure toothpaste sounds a lot better than butt paste!

• While pruning in the yard this week in preparation for our city's annual "Spring Cleanup" pick up of leaves, limbs, and branches, I was attacking a rose bush. The branch was a tough one. I was squeezing those pruners with all my might, crouching down to get more leverage, when I was finally able to cut all the way through....and the upper branch flipped and slammed down on top of my head, with a big thorn aligned just right to pierce my scalp and draw blood.

• I have been getting phone calls daily from, according to my caller ID:

"New Co"
"California"
"Operation Lookout"
"Chicago, IL"
"Name Unknown"
"PacificTel"
"American Express Customer Service"
"Name Unavailable"
"Beehive Bail Bonds"
and the like.
AND I'm on the "DO NOT CALL" list.

• I was out of lipstick, so I went to the store and bought some, along with some other things, this week. When I got home, I unloaded the bags and the "other things" were all there. The lipstick? NOT THERE. I had the privilege of returning all the way back to the store to retrieve it, since I actually wanted the product - I didn't want to pay for it just for giggles. The store clerk claimed he'd bagged it. Upon searching the area, it was found on the check out counter, unbagged. Does this new purchase have something to do with the redness issue mentioned above?

• It's allergy season! My body is reacting by sneezing violently multiple times in a row. Seriously, I can't even catch my breath when the sneezing starts; a-chu, a-chu, a-chu, a-chu, a chu, a-chu, A-CHUUUU! (or maintain bladder control.)

See, like I said, FUN, FUN!

Didn't mean to make y'all jealous.

So, what have you been up to lately? Anything "fun?"

The Switch

Today, the temperatures around these parts were on the upswing, so seems as all my capris & short sleeves are still packed away (in an effort to make my closet look "roomier" for house showings) I opted to don my muumuu.
It was also my week to drive the Kindergarten carpool. Most days, I can just pull in front of the school and wait in my car for the little girls to come rushing out. Today was not most days. I waited. No girls. I waited. No girls.
Man, why did I make such an effort to break away from eating leftover brownies at home all those very important tasks I was doing to get to the school on time?!?
No girls. I debated if I should go in search of them since, after all, I was dressed in my muumuu. I waited until all other children and parents were out of sight and I got out of my car -- at precisely the same moment the Kindergarten teacher came out the front door.

Hi.
Maybe she won't know who I am - she's kinda a space case like that.
Nope.
"Make sure Katelyn gives you the important note!" she says to me.
"OK" I quickly say trying to slip away, muumuu unnoticed.
Nope again.
The teacher engages me in an entire conversation about the upcoming Kindergarten Assessments and then her opinion of Katelyn (all nice, thank goodness!) And then the "Class Parent" comes out to join us -- yet another spotting of me in my muumuu.

Turns out, Katelyn had "forgotten" that the proper procedure after school is to come out front to the waiting carpool and instead she and her friends were sucked in by the beckoning call of the monkey bars out back in the school yard. By the time (20 min. after school let out) I located and retrieved her, 4 other adults (including a High School classmate of mine) and 35 students (there was a PE class outside playing kick ball) had seen me in my muumuu!!
As I was trying to reiterate to Katelyn that she needs to come straight out after school....and make her see the seriousness of her violation of the Kindergarten routine, I told her, "I didn't want to do this...but I had no choice...Now you had to be embarrassed by your Mom being seen wearing a muumuu!"

"Huh?" she asked with NO hint of comprehension in her voice. "I'm NOT embarrassed. I like it! Mom, can I put my muumuu on when we get home, PLEASE?"

Fast Forward to 4 1/2 hours later....

The boys had a piano recital and, before leaving, I traded in my muumuu for a safer, classic black number. As I was driving "the Brood" to the recital, Kyle asks, "Why did you change your clothes, Mom?"
"Oh, I didn't want to embarrass you by wearing my muumuu in public."
Ryan, to my right in the passenger seat, is nodding his head in understanding and firm agreement.
Kyle, from the back seat, comments, "SMART MOVE!"

So, here I had the two opposing opinions of the same thing. On one side, [Moms in] Muumuus are COOL, on the other side, [Moms in] Muumuus are NOT. I figured it out, somewhere between Kindergarten and 6th Grade there is a "SWITCH" where your Mom's appearance matters! I took a poll amongst the passengers in my minivan - just WHEN does this "SWITCH" happen? To assist in our research, we asked our resident 3rd Grader, "Are you embarrassed by me wearing a muumuu?"
There WAS just enough of a pause....the kind that says how-should-I-answer-as-to-not-hurt-her-feelings....followed by a, "no."

Not a "NO!"

Or a "No."

Just a regular, apathetic, lacking any emotion "no."

Solved.

She's approaching the "SWITCH" very, very soon. Like within the next year.

So, my geniuses in the back seat came to the conclusion, IT HAPPENS IN 4th GRADE.

*******
Hey....Do you think we can chalk that off as our "Science Fair Project" for next year? It DID involve asking questions, doing research, gathering facts, deducting, and findings. And you know how much I LOVE Science Experiments.....

*******

Because I KNOW I've piqued your curiosity, and you're just dying to see it....For your viewing pleasure.....I present.....ME, in all my MUUMUU GLORY....

(You're Welcome. I'm real accomodating like that!)

A Case of Not-Able-to-Keep-your-Mouth-SHUT-itis

My family suffers from this....severely.

• The other night at the Pinewood Derby, Haylee's Activity Day Leader came up to me and she half-whispered, "Haylee told us some very interesting "information" at Activity Days......Is it TRUE?!?" Well, I had to find out WHAT had been divulged before I could either confirm or deny her inquiry. It turns out that the "information" Haylee had blabbed to BOTH her leaders and however many Activity Day girls were standing around is kind of a "family secret." It's something Matt & I talk about a lot and our kids have been privy to some of those conversations, but it was just between us family - not to be broadcast to everyone or anyone on the "outside" - ya know? With her leader standing right in front of me, asking me point blank, "Is it true?" I was forced to let her in on our "secret." Later, I confronted Haylee about it and she explained her behavior this way: "Well, we were just standing around and everyone else was talking and I was sittin' there wondering, 'What can I say? What can I talk about?' and then THAT came to my mind, so I just said it, it just came out so suddenly - and then THAT got everyone talking to me! Sorry!"

• We were on our way to visit family where we didn't know if we'd be eating or not - it hadn't been officially discussed - but oftentimes they do have something for us to eat or offer us something, but we got hungry before we arrived. We would be passing an In-n-Out Burger on the way, so we decided to just go through the drive-thru for a "snack." Before we even got our food, we stressed to our kids the importance of NOT saying anything about going to In-n-Out Burger to the family we were going to visit. Our "game plan" was, IF they offered us to eat with them, to accept their invitation with no mention of our "snack." IF there was no such invitation, then we would be extra grateful we'd eaten. Everyone agreed. We got our "snacks" and ate them in the car while we drove. When we arrived, we disposed of all "snack" evidence into the trash and again reiterated to everyone to refrain from telling the people we had stopped for food. Well, exactly 2.7 minutes after arriving, the host asks, "Have you eaten?"

To which Katelyn immediately responds, "YES!"

You've gotta be kiddin' me! I thought.

I tried to give the "SSHHH" signal to her with just my eyes.

Haylee, at least this time in an attempt to cover it up, says, "Just a 'snack'."

Whew! I thought. But, no....

The host asks, "What did you have for a 'snack'?"

Katelyn didn't catch on to any of my shut-your-mouth "looks."

- and I mentally tried to cup my hand over Katelyn's mouth.

Katelyn: "French Fries and Burgers, but no shakes this time."

I shook my head at Katelyn behind the host's back.

Host: "Did you stop somewhere?"

Katelyn: "YES! In-n-Out Burger." And then I quietly backed out of the room and escaped.

• At church on Sunday, there was a baby blessing, so a lot of visitors were there to see it. Afterwards, one of these visitors got up to bear their testimony. In my kid's defense, he didn't know who was who out of all the visitors in the congregation. Well, during this one person's testimony, she got off on telling a story/personal experience and for effect, at one time, she was shaking her head and waving her hands up by her head, while crying/saying, "What am I doing? What am I doing?" to which Ryan comments, semi-out loud, "What IS she doing?" That person's mother just happened to be sitting right in front of Ryan.

N-I-C-E!

Some people might say that they get this from their Mom (me), but, this is not correct. Although, I may rarely be at a loss for words, that is different than telling things I'm not suppose to tell. I do know and keep many, many secrets (other people's and my own). Sometimes to the point that I think I might explode - like I just can't hold it in anymore, but I do! I am not a blabber of really good, juicy, personal information - your secret's safe with me. ;)