Thanks Spanx!

What do I have in common with:
Gweneth Paltrow
Oprah
Tina Fey
Debra Messing
Jennifer Garner
Miley Cyrus
Julie Bowen
Rebecca romijn
Carrie Underwood
Jessica Alba
Julia Roberts
Marcia Cross
Valerie Bertinelli
Rachel Ray
Amanda Bynes
Vanessa Williams
Tyra Banks
Brooke shields
Ellen DeGeneres
Katie Couric
(and more)
?????????

We all wear Spanx.
{That may well be as close as the similarities ever come in regards to me & celebrities!}

Have you heard of Spanx?

Their founder/owner, Sara Blakely, just made it on the cover of Forbes magazine a couple of months ago because she is now a BILLIONAIRE? (At 41 she’s the youngest woman to join this year’s World’s Billionaires list without help from a husband or an inheritance.)

It's an "undergarment" that smooths out your (MY) lumps and bumps!

And I was so excited when my UPS man brought me my delivery.  

Just look at the packaging, it's enough to make you happy.  Isn't it?

Just wrap it up with red tissue paper and give me a "Thank You" note, 

and I'm singing the praises of Spanx before I ever even put them on my body!

 

I love one of their tag lines:  "We've got your butt covered!"

When asked by both The View hosts and Bonnie Hunt (on separate occasions) how she got her post-baby body back so quickly after giving birth to twins, Julie Bowen replied, “SPANX you very much! SPANX SPANX SPANX.”

How come no one is asking ME that question? -  almost 4 years after my last baby?!?  ;)

I'm not saying Spanx will make you a size 0 if you are far from that naturally.   All I know is that it got me into THIS dress when I couldn't before - and with a less string-of-sausage-chubs-look!  :)

Funny thing is -- I got that dress on a great clearance sale, 

so my "undergarments" cost more than my actual dress!

________________
Not a paid advertisement. I just love these Spanx, man. Over and out.

Are You Sure we Share the Same Genetics?

Haylee's about as big around as my pinkie....

Yet, she's on the "ALL CARB DIET".  Have you heard of that one?  I'm sure you've heard of the "low carb" or the "no carb" diets, but Haylee has no interest in those - she prefers the "NOTHING-BUT-CARBS" diet.  If you're a bit dyslexic or have 40+ yr. old vision, your eyes may have read it this way: "All CRAP" and "Nothing-but-CRAP."   
It's pretty much the same thing!  No meaning lost with that mistake.  :)

Yet, she looks like this:

In our family, every week, a different person gets to decide the dinner menu [then help cook] for one night.  Do you know what her choices have been over the last few months?  I tried to tell her to pick a "real meal."  She says her choices ARE real....

She eats SO WELL on these nights!  (As compared to "normal" nights when she is forced to take one morsel and just stares at it for 30 min.)  By complete contrast, on "Haylee's Choice" nights....Seconds?  Thirds?  Fourths?  YES.  She takes 'em!

And for her most recent birthday, she wanted a "Cookie Bar" - and she put us all to shame in her consumption abilities.

Yet, she looks like this....

{the Karate belt could go around her 4 times!)

On the flip-side, while I was shopping at Costco yesterday, I just LOOKED at the Chocolate Dipped Shortbread Cookies, and I'm up about 3  1/2 pounds this morning!?!!?!

If It's Not "On the House" -- I Don't Want It

I think when Ryan decided to go to Prom, he thought the only cost involved would be buying the actual tickets to the dance.  ($20.00 - which he's already complained to me about being too high.)  After all, he just barely became "dating eligible" with his recent 16th birthday, so he's never even been to a school dance before.  And, frankly, he doesn't spend his "thinking time" thinking about things like the logistics of PROM -- there's way too many sports stats to fill up that time with!  :)

It would be an understatement to say that Ryan has been BLOWN AWAY with the total expense associated with PROM.

And because "entertainment" is one of the categories that our children are responsible for funding themselves (they all have opportunities to earn money, IF THEY CHOOSE), it's been quite fun to watch, and SO GOOD for him to experience how to spend his money - which will surely aid him in his maturity.

Wanting to go to PROM, but NOT wanting the financial obligation, he asked me (accused) if I paid for my own [Girls' Choice] High School dances that I went to.

Of Course.

It was MY date.  Who else would pay for MY date.  Did he think my parents would?  HOW EMBARRASSING for your parents to pay for YOUR dates!!!
{He silently agreed.}
But that didn't stop him from going to his Dad with the same question:
Dad, did YOU pay for your PROM dates?
Uhhhhh.....errrr....uhhhhh....ummm....I...can't...remember...
(We all laughed our heads off at his response....and his attempt in trying not to look like a loser!)

So, I told him he needed to rent a tuxedo.
He asked how much that would cost.
I said, Let's google it.
Google told us it could run about $90.00.
Ryan, who knows he footin' the bill, said he didn't need to wear a tux.
I told him HE WAS GOING TO PROM.  And PROM = TUX!
He thought wearing his regular church suit would be just fine.
I told him it would be fine IF he was going to the Homecoming dance, but THIS IS PROM!
I even polled my Young Women at church, and they want their dates to wear a tux - this "proof" helped a little.
Then he came up with the idea to just wear his Tuxedo shirt, bow tie, and cumberband with just regular black dress pants that he had to wear in his Percussion performances last year.
I asked him when's the last time he'd actually worn that shirt.
About a year ago.
Fuhgget about it!  (He's most definitely grown since then!)
We found a website online that has an interactive "Customize Your Own Tux" program.  I set Ryan up on that and he found "the look" he liked the best.

    Pink Tuxedo Shirt

Shiny Silver Vest & Hankie 

White Jacket with Black Trim

Black Tux Pants (with striping) 

Black & White Shiny "Tux" Shoes

And then we went to the Tuxedo Rental Shoppe.

They didn't even carry pink tuxedo shirts - you have to special order them for $25.00

The Hankie and the shoes are not included with the tux rental - the hankie is an extra $4.00 on top of the tux rental.

The white jacket with black trim is considered a "speciality" tux -- with a 300% price increase over the lowest-priced all black jacket.

The black & white shoes were $18.00 vs. all black shoes for $12.00.  (He tried telling me he could wear his regular black shoes he had at home - nope!  They are NOT "tux quality.")

But, Good News! There was no price difference on black pants with or without striping.

Ryan quickly change "his taste" in tuxes.

(Although, if I were paying, I'm sure he would just "have to have" that first choice!)

He decided on this one:

 {the most conservatively priced tux}

But, we did find out, had we ordered MORE THAN a week in advance, we could've gotten a $20.00 discount instead of the $10.00 one we did receive.  Lesson learned for next time.

Then I told him he had to get her a corsage.

He replied, They better not cost more than $10.00.

Oh, They will!  I informed him. 

{groan}

Why can't I just pick her a flower from our yard?

#1  We don't have any decent ones in our yard.  #2  THIS IS PROM - and she'll be getting you a boutonniere! 

Why can't I just tell her, you don't get me one, and I won't get you one? 

THIS IS PROM - she needs a corsage. 

While grocery shopping at Harmon's this week, I noticed they have a good-sized floral dept. and there was a lady there, so I went up to her and asked if they did corsages, by chance.

They do!

And there are different "levels" of corsages.

 A wrist corsage with an elastic band.

 A wrist corsage with a crystal beads bracelet look.

 And a wrist corsage with rhinestones as the bracelet. 

Which all increased in price as the wrist band got fancier.

I reported this all to Ryan when he came home....he didn't even know what crystals and rhinestones were!

I'm going with the regular elastic band, he immediately decided.

He's also been combing the newspaper ads for coupons to the "Get Air" Trampoline Park they are going to as part of the leading-up-to-PROM activities.

And they're doing a progressive dinner at three different boys' houses to avoid a high restaurant bill....although Ryan's dream is to go to Ruth's Chris for PROM....and have someone else pay for it, of course!

One of the boy's sisters is a "budding photographer," so she is taking them on location for their PROM pictures.  They'll be better and less expensive than getting pictures at the PROM venue anyways.  

 IT'S SO INTERESTING HOW YOUR "NEEDS" CHANGE WHEN YOU GET TO FORK OVER THE CASH YOURSELF!!!

:)

*As a sidenote....according to Wikipedia, ( I had to refer Ryan to the Internet again - it has more clout than I these days!) Prom expectations/traditions ARE everything I was telling him, but it also sited an interesting (& disturbing) fact:  The cost of prom in the United States in 2012 averages $1078 per family.  
WHAT?!?  Obviously, the "United States" is very different from Utah.  That gives Ryan something else to be grateful for!

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Apr. '12 Edidtion

Taken from the sidebar...

I was talking to Brookelle about the fact that she is the ONLY one in our whole family who has their own bedroom...
Brookelle: "We need another human in our family."
Me: "Do you wish you had your twin brother, Brady, so you could share a room with him?"
Brookelle: "Yeah. Where is he?"
Me: "Did you leave him up in heaven, and you just came down alone?"
Brookelle: "Yep. That means he gets to see Jesus ALL a lot!"
Me: "Yep."
Brookelle: "When am I going to go to heaven?"
Me: "You lived in heaven before you came to our family."
Brookelle: "I want to go and see Jesus again!"
4/12

Miss B was playing alone in the next room....
Brookelle: "Mother!"
Me: "What?"
Brookelle: "I'm not talking to YOU!"
Me: "Oh, I thought you were. I heard you call, 'Mother,' and that's me!"
Brookelle: "No, YOU ARE MAMA!"
(She was just pretend playing) 4/12

We had a special musical number in church on Sunday. It consisted of a pianist, violinist, and a clarinetist....Brookelle: "Why is that guy blowing into that big straw?" 4/12

Here We Go Again

We're back "on the market."
(after a 100+ days hiatus from the first time around)

Which means our house is not our own!

And we can't have anything out on the counters.
We can't make stacks of papers on the computer desk.
Every bed has to be made.
Every dresser drawer pushed all the way closed - and not too much "stuff" on top of it.
Every towel hung up just right.
and CLEAN towels at that, with no toothpaste smears on them - the white monogrammed ones come out in the Master Bath for a showing.
All floors vacuumed, swept, and mopped.
The Lily smell has to be kept under control with frequent cage cleanings and/or lots of Air Wick plug-ins.
Laundry has to be kept up on to avoid "accident" panty and/or teenage BOY smells!
and also FOLDED and PUT AWAY.
Garbage cans have to stay empty.
All papers, magnets, artwork have to be taken off the front of the fridge.
All toilets have to be kept flushed.
The top of the dryer cannot be used as a "dumping spot."
The weeds in the driveway/sidewalk crack have to be pulled.
The table needs to be wiped off and all chairs tucked in.
Shoes have to all find their home in closets or the "shoe basket" in the garage - none are allowed lying around the house.
The Love Sac has to be poofed up.
The armoir and pantry doors closed.
The toys all on their [labeled] shelf.
The soap dispenser filled and positioned just exactly right next to all sinks.
Rugs have to be straightened.
Mirrors and windows need to be free of smudges and splatters.
The books have to be arranged nicely in a row, biggest to smallest, in the bookshelves.
We can't have any dust build up.
Closets need to be kept 25% empty/clear and organized.
The piano books need to all be put away and the piano lid closed.
The magazines need to be arranged just so on the end table.
Smashed worm guts need to be sprayed off the porch and walks.
All tub toys, grody shampoo bottles and/or soap dishes, used razors, and shedding hair needs to be removed form showers and tubs.
We can't have any dishes in the sink - which means the dishwasher always has to be emptied, also.
or the toaster left out on the counter.
and no condom wrappers left on the floor.
WAIT!  HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE?!? :)

And the last things before we leave the house for a showing....

All the blinds have to be open.
Turn all the lights on, with the ceiling fans going.
And spray some good-smelling something.

All while my family of 7 is living in this home!

 I'm telling ya, I need medication during this time...and a maid!  It's gonna either drive me to drink or to the Looney Bin - or both!

Here's praying for THIS:

High School Flashback #2

I had a very serious deja vous recently.

Last Saturday night, I found myself staking out a teenager's house. And then positioning my car in the perfect spot so that I could both keep on eye on the house AND be able to get away fast.

The passengers in my car were dressed in black hoodies so as not to be seen by the residents of the house or by anyone else in the neighborhood who might be on watch while they "left their mark" at the house and in the yard.

If by chance a witness did happen to appear, I was ready to give the signal - two quick taps on the car brake pedal - so they could duck for cover.

Fortunately, the job was completed in hardly no time at all (although it seemed like a very long, slow motion-ish, time to the participants in the moment) so my flashing light tactic wasn't even needed.

The little sisters were sent back to my getaway car first to ensure they were not caught. Then we all crouched down in the car, with our eyes barely above the bottom of the window to watch what unfolded next.......we saw our own family's teenager ring the doorbell of the house, leap off the porch and skedaddle to the far side of the house before disappearing into the neighbor's yard in 1.7 seconds flat! It really was quite remarkable since this is the same boy who, most of the time, looks like he's got cement bricks in his shoes when he runs. I figured he would just hide behind the neighbor's bushes until the door was answered since he couldn't make it back to the car in time - BUT I WAS WRONG - the next thing I know, he books it to my car, opens the car door and dives back into the front seat....all before the front door was even opened. Literally, I've never seen him move that fast! Just goes to show what adrenaline will enable the body to do! Good 'ol Fight or Flight.

We did see someone open the door. That someone left, and went and got someone else. And then that someone else walked out onto the porch and picked up the clue. After everyone was back in the house and the door was closed, we drove away, on the way down the street and for half the ride back home, my teenager's heart was thumping out of his chest (from the running or from the excitement?)

It was official. My son had just asked a girl to his first High School PROM.

{yikes. How old does that make me?}

Fast Forward two days.

My son was walking out our front door, when he immediately ran back inside. He told me he had just seen the girl driving down the street in front of our house - at least he thought he had. Then the family went out on the front lawn to play a good 'ol game of "Red Light, Green Light" for our Family Night Activity. Next thing I know, he's running back inside again. It was confirmed. The girl, driving the same car, had just driven up the street in front of our house - and her little brother was in the car. Since she doesn't live in our neighborhood, it appears it was her turn to stake out our house, but we were [inadvertently] messing it up for her!

About a half hour after coming in the house, our doorbell rings. Of course, everyone and their dog started to stampede to the door. Since I figured it was probably a "messenger" (in the form of her little brother), I "called off the dogs" and instructed everyone to allow me to answer the door calm, cool, and collected like. (yeah, right!) There was no person there, but instead, a "answer" in the form of a jar of fish.

And when the kids saw that, they charged right past me, out the front door, and proceeded to run up and down the street, yelling, "Where are you?" All the while, ignoring my warnings that, surely, they were being watched at that very moment, and to not act like hooligans. But, why should that night be any different from any other and they start listening to me?

The very wording on her answer rang a bell with me....Of all the fish in the sea, I'm glad you picked me!.... In fact, I'm pretty sure the same idea was involved in my High School's "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance asking/answering from 1986. I guess they get recycled every 25 yrs. or so....?

{I've heard (though not first-hand knowledge) that my date is now "playing for the other team" - was it because of this date? I didn't think it was that bad!}

The minute he asked her, I told him it was very important to keep his bedroom clean for the whole next week because there was a possibility that she would be calling me and asking if she could do something to/leave something in his bedroom in the form of an answer. This thought made him very uncomfortable. And I told him I wasn't going to clean it up for him, so he'd just have to be humiliated if she came and it was a disaster.
He pleaded that I at least give him warning like, It'd be a REALLY good idea if you left your room clean today! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
To which I replied, I AM giving you a warning - right now - keep it clean for a week!
Well, then she answered 2 days later - and just on the front porch - so I didn't even get any "cleaning benefits" out of it! DANG! :)

But, seriously - wasn't I just doing this very thing myself? - driving past boys' houses, on "stake outs" with my friends, and anonymously calling (Caller ID didn't exist) our prospective dates' mothers to see if they had been asked yet, leaving surprises in boys' bedrooms (that their mother's may or may not have clean up for them)......and vice versa, the boys to me?!?

It all came back to me - just like riding a bike - it was second nature to me, I'm glad I could show my son the ropes. :)

------

Although, times have changed somewhat, I noticed. I attempted to call the girl's parents to inquire if she had been asked yet, but they were never home. So, then I tried to call her best friend to ask her, but she wasn't home either -- apparently no one uses their home phone anymore!

So, I ended up texting the girl from my [unrecognizable] cell phone:

Me: Have you been asked to Prom yet?

The girl: Who is this? And no.

Me: I am a Secret Investigator.

The girl: (no response)

How Many Days Does it Take to Build a House?

Let's find out! Watch our House Time Lapse with us.

DAY 1
{We got a hole!}

DAY 17
{a foundation surrounded by piles of dirt}

DAY 28
{basement floor prepped to be poured, surrounding dirt compacted down}

DAY 38
{basement framed}

DAY 44
{more framing}

We Haven't Aged a Day -- RIGHT?!?

The Japan Fukuoka Mission, that was under the direction of Figuerres Dendobucho and Shimai (1991-1994),
had our 19/20/21 year Mission Reunion this past weekend in conjunction with General Conference.

{I may or may not have been able to easily recognize everyone!}

Let's take a look at the THEN and NOW......

M.T.C. - September 1991

Washburn Shimai & I (roommates)

March 2012

{We both lost our perms!}

Arriving at the Mission Home
Fukuoka, Japan - November 1991

President & Sister Figuerres and I

March 2012

There's absolutely no difference, RIGHT?!?

Oh Dear.

It's the Day After Palm Sunday

Do you know what that means?
It means Lent is over.

I made it 40 days - and was 100% on my "No Candy" resolve.

Did I notice a difference? you ask?

Why Yes! (thanks for asking!) I got on the scale this morning......

AND it had changed by 5 pounds.....in the upward direction!

What the ???????????

So, if it doesn't even matter anyway..... I just went ahead and helped myself to a couple of Caramacs my in-laws just brought us back from Hawaii.

What I Gleaned From this Weekend

My favorite quotes from General Conference....

From Dieter F. Uchdorf: (quoted from a bumper sticker that he saw) "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you."

Also:

From Russell M. Nelson: (on the subject of the Big Bang Theory) "Ask yourself, Could an explosion in a printing shop produce a dictionary? The likelihood is most remote. But if so, it could never heal it's own torn pages or reproduce it's own newer editions."

Also: "God is the same yesterday, today and forever. BUT, we are not. Each day, ours is the challenge to access the power of the atonement, so WE CAN TRULY CHANGE; become more Christ-like and qualify for the gift of exaltation."


From Ronald A. Rasband: "If you come upon a person who is drowning, would you ask if he needs help? OR would it be better to just jump in and save him from the deepening waters? The offer, while well-meaning and often given, 'Let me know if I can help,' is really no help at all."


From President Thomas S. Monson: (after telling a childhood pastime of his - carving toy boats from the softwood of a willow tree to race down the Provo river, he described how these boats that had no keel for stability, no rutter for direction, and no source of power, so inevitably their destination was downstream; the path of least resistance.) "Unlike toy boats, we have been provided divine attributes to guide our journey. We enter mortality not to float with moving currents of life, but with a POWER to think, to reason, and to achieve. Our Heavenly Father did not launch us on our eternal voyage without providing the means whereby we could receive from Him guidance to ensure our safe return. I speak of prayer. I speak, too, of the whisperings from that Still Small Voice, and I do not overlook the holy scriptures which contain the word of the Lord and the words of the prophets provided to us to help us successfully cross the finish line."


From L. Tom Perry: (retelling an event in one of his friends, Scott's, life. He explained that Scott has some difficult challenges, but he is extraordinary in his boldness. This conversation was overheard on an airplane flight Scott had with the person sitting next to him.)
Scott: "Where do you live?"
Neighbor: "In Las Vegas."
Scott: "We have a temple there. Do you know where the Mormon temple is?"
Neighbor: "Yes. It's a beautiful building."
Scott: "Are you a Mormon?"
Neighbor: "No"
Scott: "Well, you should be. It's a great religion!" "Have you read the Book of Mormon?"
Neighbor: "No."
Scott: "Well, you should. It's a great book!"


From M. Russell Ballard: "According to the scriptures, the Liahona was a round ball of curious workmanship featuring two spindles; one of which pointed the way in which Father Lehi's family should go into the wilderness. I think I know why Lehi was greatly astonished when he first saw it because I remember my reaction when I first saw and witnessed a GPS unit. In my mind, it was a modern-day devise of curious workmanship.......For both my wife, Barbara, and me, the GPS is a blessing. For Barbara, it means she doesn't have to tell me to stop and ask for directions. And for me, it means I can be right when I say I don't need to ask anyone - I know exactly where I am......We have available to us, a tool even more remarkable than the best GPS. Everyone loses their way, at some point, to some degree. It's through the promptings of the Holy Ghost that we can be brought safely back onto the right path."

Also: "It is our homes and families that need reforming in this increasingly materialistic and secular world."


From Larry Y Wilson: (telling a story about a road trip he and his wife took in their newlywed days when his wife was driving.)
"I said, You're going too fast. Slow down.
She replied, What gives you the right to tell me how to drive?
Frankly, her question caught me off guard. So, doing my best to step up to my new responsibilities as a married man, I said, I don't know....because I'm your husband....and....I hold the Priesthood. (cringe)
Brethren, Just a quick tip....If you are ever in a similar situation, THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT RESPONSE!....And I'm happy to report; that was the one and only time I made that mistake."


I like to listen to the talks on www.lds.org in the coming weeks while I'm working in the kitchen or at my desk, too, so I have that to look forward to.

And my boys (Matt, Ryan, & Kyle) gave me a full report about the great messages from Priesthood Session on Saturday night, as well, when I met them for our traditional dinner out afterwards.

And we ate these delicious glazed doughnut muffins during Sunday morning session.

It was a WONDERFUL weekend.....heading right into Spring Break this week.....
LIFE IS GOOD!