Kids Say the Darndest Things - February Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

I was shopping with Ryan and I bought some Tampax. He was examining my purchases and read the package...
Ryan: "Flushable cardboard? What does that mean?"
Me: "It means it's flushable."
Ryan: "Flushable? Why would you wanna flush cardboard?"
Me: "So you don't have to throw it away."
Ryan: "What's so fun about flushing cardboard down the toilet?"
Later, when we got home...
Ryan: "Look, Kyle! We got flushable cardboard."
Kyle: "So."
Ryan: "I guess we get to flush it down the toilet!" 2/09


We were going to someone's house who have hamsters...
Katelyn: "Will I be able to see the 'stampers?'" 2/09

I've got a Teenager?!?!!

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY, RYAN!!!

For Ryan's Birthday, I thought I'd write "13" random facts about him. Unbeknowst to many of you, there IS more to him than just his L.O.V.E. of THE UTES!! (Shocker!) Although, that part was still INTENSE enough that it caused some of our BYU neighbors to move out of town!! :) - I promise, she even wrote it in her Christmas card!! hee hee, Angie.

1. Ryan has a "photographic memory." (is that what you call it?)

Once he reads something, he remembers it! Whether it's WWII stories, song titles & their artist, world countries (location & names), book plots, movie release details, sports stats, etc. This especially comes in handy when he's had lines in plays!!

2. Ryan is "Accident Prone."

Taking an ax to his foot, getting concussions at recess, knocking down things, 4-wheeler rollovers, getting hurt at parties, Young Men's, the park - ANYWHERE! If I didn't think it would be psychologically damaging, I'd still make him drink from a sippy cup because he just CANNOT seem to keep his beverage from spilling - EVER!!

3. Ryan is a diligent shower taker.

He really took the Maturation Program speech to heart! Ever since then, he WILL NOT miss a day. (Must be his father's son!) He is also known to shower multiple times a day if he has exercised, worked, gone camping, eaten an apple (that's a messy job w/ him - see #2). Man, that speech was soo impressionable, I think I need to request that guy to deliver some of MY speeches about Saturday jobs, practicing the piano, noticing a mess - and doing something about it, etc! :)

4. Ryan has two volumes.

Loud and LOUDER. Matt blames this one on the Fowers side! :)

5. Ryan is a Science/History/Geography/Social Studies/Math WHIZ.

I'll claim passing down the Math part, but I DO NOT have anything to do with the others! See #1 and that explains a lot of his success, I bet!

6. Ryan is a bit a of Risk Taker/likes "living on the edge."

He gets such a RUSH from roller coasters and "rocket-type" rides. He always tries to be the one shown up on the JumboTron when the "Dance Cam" is on. He finds some sort of thrill in holding out on doing homework until the night before it's due. OR in getting ready/arriving somewhere THE MINUTE he is supposed to. I think he thrives on seeing if he can beat a deadline!

7. Ryan is a "Sports Buff."

He can read, watch, play or talk about sports anytime, anywhere. He has become keen to the fact that his father also like a good sports chat, and Ryan will engage him in one around bedtime and thus, get away with an extra 1/2 hr. or so that he doesn't have to go to bed! (Matt is oblivious to this "tactic.") Ryan would say his favorite place to be in the summer is at the Ball Park here in town. A few years ago, the Reflections theme at school was, "My Favorite Place" and Ryan just wanted to take a photo of the Ball Park - that says it all for him. He hopes to get a job UMP-ing there this year!

8. Ryan has an intense fear of sharks.

This is very valid seems as we live so close to a shark-infested body of water and he goes swimming there all the time! :)

9. Ryan is extremely social. (Must be his mother's son!)

He completely welcomed the opportunity to go to Jr. High and meet/make friends with new kids from the 3 other Elementary Schools that feed into his. He stays after events (and is one of the last ones there) to talk to people - much to his father's dismay! He yells, "Hi, ____!" out the window to people we pass in the car. He delights in attending activities/social gatherings. He actually likes doing the Fast Offerings & passing out fliers as part of his Deacon duties because he wants to "be out among the people!"

10. Ryan is a "picky eater."

Only Haylee beats him in this category. Once he was staying at my brother's house and they grilled hamburgers. My SIL was utterly flabbergasted that he wouldn't eat one! Seriously. What kid doesn't like hamburgers? Ryan. I am happy to say that he is finally eating cheeseburgers (not hamburgers) and steak now. He continues to pick out black beans, green peppers, peas & the such out of my home-cooked meals.

11. Ryan has never watched a PG-13 rated movie.

Because he has never been 13 yrs. old. Until now. (It will still not be a PG-13 "free-for-all." All movies are still subject to Parent's approval!) He has been carefully weighing the options over the years as to what PG-13 movie he will watch first on his 13th Birthday! The winner? Star Wars Episode III ~ Revenge of the Sith. In fact, when we announced to our children that this year we were taking them to Disneyland on their birthday (you get in free on your B-day in 2009), Ryan looked a little glum. The reason? "I was planning on watching Star Wars on my birthday," he said. Really? Disneyland. Star Wars. Disneyland....hmmm...(We will be taking a lap top & DVD with us!)

12. Ryan likes earning money!

When he was about 9, he set up a "Snack Shack" in our front yard and drummed up some good business. With the money he made, he first paid for the cost of the goods and then paid his "Buyer/Supplier" (me) a "kick back" for my work - and still made a handsome profit. Now he relies on babysitting to earn his money (since the Tooth Fairy always forgets and his allowance is meager!) He likes to dream up ways to earn money. Lately, he especially likes the perk at the Credit Union where he gets "free" money deposited into a Savings account for his good grades!

13. Ryan wants to do "something fun" for a job when he grows up.

Like his Uncle Brett. He is in Marketing and gets to "wine & dine," entertain, and play with prospective Reps. And then takes the Top Performers on cruises.

WE LOVE YOU, RYAN!!!

(Any advise - or sympathy - from those of you who've done/survived the teenager thing?!?)

I'm still denying I'm old enough to have a teenager!

Check out "This week's Gratitude List" on my sidebar - it is dedicated to Ryan.

Come Sail Away...with us!

Have any of you noticed my Cruise Countdown ticker I've always had on my sidebar?

Have you noticed that it's finally to the one-year point?!? (yea!)

Have you followed the instructions and marked your calendars? :)

If not, go ahead and do so NOW and plan to come Cruisin' with us!

YOU'RE ALL INVITED!!

The place is the Mexican Riviera.

The time is February 2010.

(exact dates TBD, but we're leaning towards the 1st week: Feb. 6/7, or the last week: Feb. 27/28)

Isn't that just what we need in the middle of the "Winter doldrums?"

It's just what I need when my baby will be weaned & old enough to stay home! (at last)

We got our last Cruise from www.VacationsToGo.com and we plan to do the same for this one.

They have a "90-day Ticker" where they drastically reduce the cruise prices.

So, we watch, then Grab & GO!

We hope to get it for around $499/person for 7 days.

So, start your "Cruise Fund" now...

Just save about $85/month. OR $40/bi-weekly paycheck. OR $20/week.

(However you want to do it!)

Also, PLAN your pregnancies accordingly!! :) Many Cruise Lines do not allow someone who is more than 24-ish weeks pregnant to Cruise!

(My sister did not read the fine print & was denied boarding once!)

Did I mention the food? Prepared by world-renowned Chefs? In unlimited quantities? And the midnight "Chocolate Extravaganza?" Or the Buffet, Burger Bar, Pizzeria, & Ice Cream Parlor - if that's what you're more into?
Did I mention the award-winning Service? (They are at your beck & call!)
Did I mention the balmy, WARM weather? (In the dead of Winter)
Did I mention the Entertainment?
(Maybe Matt will do his "American Idol" Encore!? And I will throw my bra on the stage in an effort for him to receive the MAXIMUM "audience reaction" points possible!)

Did I mention that it's a VACATION without kids?

Did I mention beach bumming, snorkeling, zip-lining thru the Rain Forest, touring in a VW Bug, just reading a book on the deck & more?!?
And we can't forget (one of my favorite parts)...WE CAN WEAR FLIP FLOPS!

We can't wait! We'd love to have you join us!!!
(Be there or Be Square!)

Are we Sure the Groundhog was Right?

Katelyn's a tad bit EAGER for Summer!

Katelyn's very into changing her clothes multiple times a day, but lately swimming suits have been her wardrobe of choice. I don't know how she gets by me, but I discover what she's doing after it's too late...she's gone over to the neighbor boy's house to play in it. (I hope his Mother was not too appalled!) It's funny how quickly that swim suit became "lost" after that. ;) The next time she stood in front of our home (w/ the older siblings) doing the trucker's "honk" sign/motion to all the cars driving down our street to make them honk- donning her swimming suit in the dead of winter, of course. (More people calling CPS on me!) That swim suit is now missing, too!! (Oh, my!) :) The last time, I did see her hurriedly trying to go by me, wrapped in a blanket, and I felt it suspicious...sure enough, I found her like this (see photo.) I guess she has 3 swim suits? She even put out the argument that she was wearing a "cover-up" (skirt.) I was able to STOP her before showing the public, and she got away with just wearing it to Family Night.

But, ya know, it's the strangest thing...All 3 swim suits have now "DISAPPEARED!" (hee hee)

HURRY, WINTER -- BE DONE!

Random Question of the Week

What are your Valentine's Day traditions?

Every year, I'm always wondering what I should do for Valentine's Day. I guess we have no "traditions." So far I've done something different each time - I suppose that's the "tradition" - does that count as one? I try things and then, because of the lack of extreme excitement or appreciation from my family I don't deem it worth the work/effort the following years. Is this another one of my "commitment issues?" This makes it harder on me since I have to keep "reinventing the wheel." Sometimes it's just too exhausting to be so creative!! :)

Here's what we've (I've) done in the past:

• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• CHOCOLATE - this tradition stems from when I was in Japan. February 14th is not called, "Valentine's Day," but is called "Girl's Day." The tradition is that GIRLS give chocolate to BOYS. There was chocolate EVERYTHING in the stores around this time. Chocolate shaped trucks, balls, houses, tennis rackets, money, beer cans, toilet paper, flags, fruit, Pokemon, baskets, etc. etc. But, don't worry...there was a "Boy's Day" later in the year (I think March?) to make things equal - but the boys gave girls toys or kites or something (Chocolate would be MUCH better!) So, I ALMOST always do the "Girl's Day" chocolate thing! But, I still don't stick to the same thing with this either, I try to think of a different chocolate idea every year - not as much to choose from in the USA!
• Make & decorate heart sugar cookies with frosting & sprinkles/candy. We do this a lot - but not EVERY year, so I still can't qualify it as a "tradition." This year? CHECK!
• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• Papa Murphy's heart-shaped pizza for dinner
• I even bought a baking pan that has 5 big heart shapes in it - one year I made brownies in it, decorated them & put one on a dessert plate for every one's place at the dinner table.
• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• Mandarin Take-out for dinner - we made sure to CALL right at 5:00PM to order! We put down a Valentine-y table cloth, sprinkled valentine confetti on the table and called it good!
• Make homemade Valentines with card stock, die cuts, glue, & stickers and then give them away.
• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• Eat off/drink from Valentine-themed paper products for dinner.
• Have a "red" dinner. All the food is red - strawberries, red punch, apples, red grapes, spaghetti, red jell-o, etc. I really am NOT fond of spaghetti & jell-o, though, (together or separate) so I didn't really like this one. What other red foods are there?
• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• Made chocolate-dipped Oreos, pressed valentine sprinkles/decorations into the chocolate & put in a sucker stick - gave some away & kept some for us.
• I put together treat/goodie bags (that have hearts or something valentine-ish printed on them) and put them at every one's place setting - another year I put them on their beds.
• Cherry Ju Ju Hearts
• I'll spare you the details of ways Matt & I celebrate...;D Come to think of it, that Very Sexy cologne from Victoria's Secret I fed his addiction with DOES have a purpose after all!! :)
• When I was young, I remember our doorbell ringing all evening on Valentine's Day. When we'd answer it, no one was there, but there'd be a valentine(s) on the porch. This was always fun to pick them up and see who they were for. Without fail, sometime during the evening, there would be a PILE of presents, wrapped in red or pink tissue paper & tied up with ribbon, on the front porch when we answered the doorbell. These were from a secret "Cupid." I was always excited for this part of Valentine's Day, even though it was usually a package of underwear or socks for myself & each of my siblings - it was NEVER treats, my mom thought candy was "of the devil." (Thus, my current status as a sugar-aholic!) The thing that was so magical about it was that we thought it was my Mom doing it, but when we'd answer the door and squeal in delight, she'd be walking up behind us asking, "What is it?" So how could it be her? Come to find out later...she was sneaky...in one of our houses, there was a porch that went across the entire front and one of the bedroom windows was there, too. She'd climb out the window, leave the presents on the porch, ring the doorbell, and run back to climb in the window before the door was answered, walk back down the hall and be behind us when we brought them in! In the next house, there was actually a door that went into the garage at the other end of the porch, so she'd just go in there & enter the house through another door. Even though I LOVED this so much, I just don't think my kids would be thrilled with underwear - I feel like it takes SO MUCH MORE to please them - what happened to the simple pleasures of "the good 'ol days?"
• Matt & I have sometimes gone out on a date, depending on the year. I remember one very well - Valentine's Day 1996, we went out to Chili's. I was DUE with Ryan on 2/15- the next day (but didn't end up having the 10 lb. baby until 2/25!) So, you can IMAGINE how HUGE I was. Well, the seating hostess girl takes us to a booth...with an immovable table & bench. And I did NOT fit! Yep, it's true, I could not even slide in. And she says, "Oh, whoops! I thought we had pretty big booths." What was that girl thinkin'?!? Note to any restaurant staff out there - do not put pregnant chicks in a booth! We had to be re-assigned to a table with [forgiving] chairs! This year? Not lookin' too good since I still have to work. :(

As you may have gathered, I'm very fond of Cherry Ju Ju Hearts - they have to be the Sweet's brand, though. But, if you don't get them early enough, they sell out and are no where to be found! So, again, not a "tradition" since some years I was unfortunate enough not to get them. This year? CHECK! I got them 4 weeks ago in St. George!

Anywhoo...I'm sure y'all have some good nuggets of Valentine's Day wisdom...and I ask you to share!! Otherwise I'll have to come up with "PLAN O" or keep using one of my "tried-once-or-twice-&-bagged-it" methods. But, I think I'm ready for a TRADITION! (subject to Family's reaction, of course!)

Drumroll, please...

My friend keeps asking me for the results of the Baby Pictures I posted a few weeks ago. So, here they are.....(but I'm sorry to say, SHE did not get them all correct!) ;D
Top L to R: a) Haylee, b) Ryan
Bottom L to R: c) Katelyn, d) Kyle, e) Brookelle

THE WINNERS:
Kristen G.
Mandy B.
Marsha B.
Adrianne J.
Shawnette P.
Ryan B.

WOW! More than half of you got them correct! The rest just switched two or something like that. And I thought I was gonna stump ya, because the only obvious ones to me were Haylee & Brookelle. Did the color/patterns on their blankets & clothes give it away?

So, the six winners can SHARE the prize between y'all. That'll be about 1/2 a bite of candy bar each, OR one slice of the pizza, OR since we're being MORE "health conscience" maybe you could have one section of the orange!!! :)

A new Addition to the Brenchley Family

(click to enlarge)

I guess I DO have my EVEN # of children I always planned on!

(After some of the family read my previous post, this particular extra "child" re -emerged with a vengeance!)

POLICE, er...I mean, Brenchley Blotter

Matt failed to even look at Ryan's class disclosure that parents were suppose to read & sign. It stated students needed a "Composition Notebook" by Monday.

Suzanne read and signed Ryan's class disclosure and then failed to remember to buy a "Composition Notebook" by Monday.

Ryan failed to remind his parents to buy a "Composition Notebook" by Monday.

Ryan received an automatic one citizenship-grade drop for not having a "Composition Notebook" on Monday.

So, who's fault is it?

As for the rest of the week...?

This activity report is provided by the Brenchley home's Judge, Jury & Prosecutor (aka "Mom") as a public service to the community and is not a complete listing of all events and crime reported.

Jan. 25

Haylee passed the sick "germ love" on to Brookelle, 12:00 a.m.

Ryan wears his nice church suit in the rain, 12:30 p.m.

Matt lays into Ryan about how "brilliant" that was, 1:00 p.m.

Kyle hurt Haylee for telling him to turn off the T.V., 1:30 p.m.

Ryan takes matters into his own hands & "punishes" Kyle, 1:35 p.m.

Haylee has a tantrum/cries out loud in Sacrament Meeting, 2:05 p.m.

Suzanne gives her the "evil eye" warning her to STOP, 2:07 p.m.

Kyle left his church shoes behind the couch (and was asked to put them away.), 5:15 p.m.

Katelyn cuts her own hair (again!), 7:30 p.m.

Matt scolds Katelyn, 7:45 p.m.

Jan. 26

Katelyn drew on the Kitchen counter with pencil, 9:30 a.m.

Suzanne gives her the cleaning spray & wash cloth & orders her to get to work, 9:31 a.m.

Katelyn dumped the toys on the Kitchen floor after being told to get them out of Mom & Dad's room, 12:00p.m.

Haylee plays near, and then "falls" into an ice puddle at school. The school calls Mom (during Katelyn & baby's nap) requesting a new, dry set of clothes be brought over - NOW, 2:00 p.m.

Kyle's church shoes are still found behind the couch (and was called to put them away.), 4:45 p.m.

Toys were left on the floor for me to trip on while I was holding a freshly bathed, slippery baby in my arms, 6:45 p.m.

Kyle takes Ryan's Hershey's Kiss he won during Family Night, 7:30 p.m.

Ryan smacks Kyle in the face (claiming it was only an attempt to get it back), 7:31 p.m.

Haylee cries about having to do homework, 7:45 p.m.

Jan. 27

Katelyn yells at Brookelle for "making noise" during her T.V. show, 12:45 p.m.

Ryan puts cookie dough in the microwave (in an effort to bake it??) and leaves a terrible burnt smell in the kitchen, 4:00 p.m.

Somebody left wrappers on the floor and Brookelle got them in her mouth and started gagging/choking, 4:30 p.m.

Suzanne lectured about keeping the floor CLEAR of EVERYTHING! (after performing the "mouth sweep"), 4:32 p.m.

Kyle's church shoes are still discovered behind the couch (and got yelled at to put them away), 5:45 p.m.

Haylee cries/complains/whines about being told it's time for homework, 7:45 p.m.

Jan. 28

Katelyn hits Brookelle in the face with a toy during scripture time, 7:40 a.m.

Everyone gets on Katelyn for hurting the baby, 7:41 a.m.

Katelyn runs out of the room, crying and slams her bedroom door, 7:42 a.m.

Suzanne finds THIS in Brookelle's diaper during a change (a bead), 8:20 a.m...

Suzanne RE-delivers the "keep-the-floor-clear" lecture, 8:21 a.m.

Haylee walks home from school in the snow with her new shoes on (while her boots are in her back pack she is carrying), 3:30-4:30 p.m.

Kyle's church shoes have still not vacated the spot behind the couch (the "Judge" became UNGLUED), 5:30 p.m.

Haylee cries/complains/whines about her homework, 7:30 p.m.

Ryan snuck on the computer during his "restricted time," 8:00 p.m.

Suzanne takes away his Friday night computer/TV/movie viewing privileges, 8:01 p.m.

Ryan is caught OUT of bed way past his bedtime (Dad was already asleep, Mom wasn't home, so he was "taking advantage"), 10:30 p.m.

Jan. 29

Ryan can't/doesn't get up on time this morning (I wonder why?) which causes a # of problems, 7:20 a.m.

Katelyn doesn't get dressed when told to (and as a result, isn't ready when Mom needs to go), 9:15 a.m.

Katelyn lies, 12:45 p.m.

Haylee grabs Katelyn by the shirt to "overpower" her, 4:15 p.m.

Ryan is caught using the computer again during his "restricted time," 5:30 p.m.

Suzanne takes away his Saturday computer/TV/movie viewing privileges, 5:31 p.m.

Kyle gives me about 5 notes from school dated "Jan. 6" with important info & assignments for parents, 7:00 p.m.

Haylee cries/complains/whines when told to go get her homework, 7:30 p.m.

Jan. 30

Katelyn draws on her face, neck, & chest with pen, 10:45 a.m.

Kyle puts Brookelle in our closet and closes the door (for a "game?"), 7:20 p.m.

Haylee steals Katelyn's money ($0.06). Cries, screams, & fights ensue, 7:30 p.m.

Suzanne gives a warning, 7:31 p.m.

Haylee cries, screams, & fights with siblings some more, 7:40 p.m.

Suzanne ends the Friday night "fun 'n' games" for Haylee and puts her to bed, 7:45 p.m.

Jan. 31

Ryan "forgets" about Saturday jobs and heads off to his basketball game, 9:00 a.m.

Kyle "disappears" downstairs during Saturday jobs, 10:30 a.m.

Matt is ornery since he's been with some of the kids for 3 hrs. while Suzanne went to Enrichment, 1:00 p.m.

Haylee & Katelyn tell me they've done their Saturday jobs, 1:30 p.m.

Suzanne goes into the playroom and sees OTHERWISE, 1:45 p.m.

Suzanne becomes the "Drill Sergeant" in the playroom clean-up project, 1:46 p.m.

Katelyn breaks a bowl while climbing on the kitchen counter, 3:00 p.m.

Matt "expresses" his disapproval, 3:01 p.m.

Haylee screams/throws a tantrum/cries while Mom's on a JetBlue phone call, 5:45 p.m.

Matt gives Haylee the "Tabasco treatment," 6:00 p.m.

Haylee cries, whines, begs, bargains, & badgers [non-stop] her Mom because she doesn't like an answer she got, 7:00 p.m.

Suzanne sends her to Time-Out, 7:05 p.m.

Feb. 1

Brookelle wakes up at 12:00 a.m.

Brookelle wakes up at 2:30 a.m.

Brookelle wakes up at 3:45 a.m. and STAYS UP until 5:30 a.m.

Brookelle wakes up at 7:00 a.m. and won't go back to sleep

Brookelle takes a LAME 1-hr. nap before church, 10:30 a.m.

Brookelle WILL NOT go to sleep during church, 2:00-5:00 p.m. (only 43 more weeks of this wretched schedule!)

Brookelle wakes up after a meager 1.5-hr. nap post-church.

Suzanne is NOT too "chipper." (Pulling out my hair, putting myself in a "time-out," fantasizing of sleep!) Aaauugh!!

Just in case any of you thought we had the "perfect family" (not a chance), this should put all those rumors to rest!! :)

And I have to remind myself, they were all once very sweet, innocent babies (where sleep/non-sleep wasn't concerned.) Those of you who haven't seen these babies (or voted) here's your final chance. Go to my blog post dated January 15 to do it. I'll reveal the answers later. Thanx.

The Mr. discovered my blog post today.

The cologne is no longer on the bathroom counter! (exactly as according to plan!)

It looks so good. I find myself standing there admiring it.

THANK YOU for your comments!! ;)

Your Opinion, Please...

How many bottles of cologne are sufficient for ONE person to have?

One? Three? Ten TOPS?

And related to that...how long is cologne good for? It must have an "expiration date," right? OR at least a time period when it loses it's savor.

Why am I asking this? I'm married to an ADDICT! Plain and Simple. A very good smelling one (most the time) might I add. And I've tried to hold an "intervention" with him. Several, in fact. At the first "intervention," I just tried ordering, "Choose Two!" while waving my arm over his vast numbers of bottles. That went over like a load of bricks.

Another "intervention" I tried to be LOGICAL and ask, "Do you NEED them all?" (Of course not) "Do you USE them all?" (How can he) "Do you LOVE them all?" (apparently) And then stated he should get rid of all the ones that DON'T fit into one of the previously mentioned categories. The next day I noticed that two of his bottles were now on Ryan's bathroom counter! What? #1 What caused him to believe that my 7th Grade son has permission to wear cologne already? and #2 What caused him to believe that Ryan would want his "cast offs?" and #3 "Get rid of" means OUT OF OUR HOME by way of the D.I. or the garbage!

On a most recent "intervention," I pulled out the BIG GUNS! After he had put on one of his colognes, I said, "What is that? That makes you smell like a Grandpa!" And do you know what he said? "Grandpa? What do you mean by 'Grandpa'? What kind of 'Grandpa'?" I could tell he was thinking that if it was ONLY our kid's Grandpa (his Dad) that I was referring to, then that wasn't too bad and he was going to disregard me. I informed him I meant like Grandpa Fowers! MY Grandpa who died 4 yrs. ago, who was never terribly 'stylish,' and who was born in 1916! Does he really want to smell like a 92 1/2 yr. old Grandpa? Now that one DID get him thinking! (At least he made no rebuttal, but I think that cologne is still in his possession.)

Why is it such a big deal? Besides the cost of cologne?

Because they are ALL on my bathroom counter! In my opinion, bathroom counters are not for "stuff." AND they collect dust like crazy. I have to constantly clean them.

See?

So, how many exactly does Matt have? Seventeen! Yep, 1-7. Full-size bottles of cologne - that's not even counting all the little samples he's also collected and has dumped in drawers.

The kinds? I don't even know MOST of them:

1. mediterraneo/Antonio Banderas
2. mX's Homme/Karen Low Paris
3. Curve
4. Weekend/Burberry London
5. Essential/Lacoste
6. Black/Kenneth Cole
7. Very Sexy FOR HIM/Victoria's Secret (I do admit, I gave him this one - Does this make me a "Co-Dependant?" It was innocent - I did not fully realize I was feeding his addiction!)
8. ETERNITY for men/Calvin Klein
9. UNBOUND for men
10. Romance/Ralph Lauren
11. HUGO - Dark Blue/Hugo Boss
12. Lucky You
13. Polo Sport/Ralph Lauren
14. Reaction/Kenneth Cole
15. Drakkar Noir/Guy Laroche Paris
16. Just Me for men by Paris Hilton
17. ck one/Calvin Klein

**If any of these colognes are "SOO Yesteryear" please clue him in!**

He just can't resist buying more no matter how many bottles he already has! I'm surprised he doesn't have any duplicates - It'd be so easy to forget - how can he possibly give the proper loving care to each one with so many?! From my personal experience, a bottle could last about 3 years. IF he doesn't buy anymore, he has a big enough supply to last him 'til he's 88 1/2 yrs. old! (And then his "Grandpa cologne" will fit right in!! haha!) I find myself throwing away all advertisements for cologne before he even sees them AND deleting all emails from Fragrancenet.com (we're on their list - my next move will be to "unsubscribe.") Oh my word! I'm just like the Alcoholics' wife who dumps the booze down the drain, as if that will make him stop. :)

If you're not in agreement with me yet on this...let me give you a better picture of what the addiction looks like...

The other day, I was cleaning up my bathroom counter and I bumped one of the bottles and it fell into the sink with a LOUD racket - but did not break (dang!)

Then I got an idea! An awful idea!

THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"Oh, Chil-dren...(remember we produce "destructive geniuses")... how would you like to play in Mommy's bathroom?" :)