Kids Say the Darndest Things - June Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Katelyn was having a Bubble Bath with a TON of bubbles - that covered her body...
Katelyn: "Look! I'm a snowman"...(then as some of the bubbles dripped off of her)..."that's turning into a human!" 6/09

Haylee: "I want to be Superman when I grow up - just like Daddy. My Dad's the REAL Superman!" 6/09

Interesting Things I Saw in San Diego

{This one happened on the way to San Diego}
~ The guy sitting next to me in the plane (and he was completely normal looking - even on the good looking side, I'd say) was repeatedly trying to yank out nose hairs (or whatever else was up there) with his fingers. It really threw me off - he did not appear to be your stereotypical guy that you'd expect that from!

~ While waiting to get our rental car that was off-site from the airport, plane after plane ROARED overhead (and shook the ground & rattled my insides) as they approached landing. Those incoming planes were RIGHT above us - and I mean, RIGHT above - as in, I felt a [substantially TALLer person than I] could almost touch the belly of the plane. I could see the front wheel already down and I saw it's shadow on the road I was standing on!

~ My Smoothie-maker-Guy took a tiny drink/taste of my smoothie before giving it to me! (I guess he wanted to be sure it was good?!?)

~ SO MANY tops/dresses/skirts/swim suit cover ups had the "One-Size-Fits-All" size tag on it. What that really means is, "One size fits all SKINNY people!" - there's no way that tag is really true!
~ In Old Town - a BMW motorcycle gang on tour. (I didn't even know those existed!) I overheard from them that Michael Jackson had died that day. Was he really 50? No!

~ Still in Old Town - These dancers. At least I think - Matt took this picture... ...because I was too busy trying to decide which earrings to buy - now, THOSE are the REAL "One Size Fits All" things! I got these.


~ A $27.00 Burger. Yes, Azul's Steakhouse had one on their menu! Granted it WAS "prime" beef that this burger was made out of - and a lot of it - one pound, but still - a $27 burger? Never seen that before! I enjoyed the $40 smallest Filet Mignon instead (that the Company paid for!)

~ From that same restaurant, with a La Jolla Cove & Pacific Ocean view from every window, there were swimmers (yes, plural, as in many) right below me - I assume they were practicing for a some sort of swimming competition. But, nevertheless, I was very nervous for them - I felt much better after they were completed and OUT of the ocean. I was reminded how glad I am that I've got some guy to do the swimming portion of my upcoming triathlon!


~ At the Swap Meet - a toned-down Tijuana, there was this man talking to a girl who was bending down under a display table. I assumed she was looking at things to buy down there? Nope. She comes back up and has some throw up dripping from the corner of her mouth, which the man promptly wiped away with his thumb. In reality, he'd just helped her find a concealed place to barf - I quickly made my way OUT OF THAT "store."

~ Also, at the Swap Meet, I found myself at a lot of the same booths as another couple of gals there - we must've been in the market for the same kinds of things. Well, I soon noticed that one of them was quite the "haggler." So, I let her start by getting the price down a little and then I got it down even more...but, I still didn't know if it was a "good" price, so I was able to ask for her advise. Only when she said, "Yes!" did I purchase this beautiful, hand-made dress for Miss B.


~ A man (or so I thought) changing in one of the stalls in the Ladies restroom at the Beach. He was sooo much taller than the stall door (like 2+ feet), so I chose I stall a couple over, so he couldn't see into mine. But, then we he walked out, and HE was actually a SHE -- I think, but it's debatable. He/She was wearing a woman's swimming suit and had long, slender legs, but hardly no bust, but definitely a man's face -- I don't know...

~ Two ambulances + 2 life boats out in the ocean + 3 Jet Skis driven by life guards + a helicopter hovering low + 1,000's of people watching from the shore & boardwalk (the surrounding water had been cleared.) And I don't know what happened. Later, after the previous incident had cleared away, a Life Guard went running from his post with his life saver thing on a rope and dove into the water, too - and then came out with nothing - Was everyone drowning that day? Is that what you think was happening? How many "incidents" are there?

~ In general, TONS of skin at the the beach. One scantily clad girl was posing while her friend took pictures. She was spilling out her bikini top and pointing her hands up to the sky while kind of arching her back...I guess the world will be able to see it now on her MySpace page. I, too, thought, "What a brilliant idea! I could do that!" and took a photo of myself just like it.....

But, I won't post it for you to see!! hahahaha. ;)

~ Also on the beach, these four girls caught me by surprise while I was reading my book (I even finished a book in 3 days!) "Uh, Excuse me...we're from such & such, somethin'-or-other-church and we're here for a convention. We're going around the beach talking to people about God. Is there anything YOU need US to pray for YOU about?" They were YOUNG, dressed in the usual non-Utah teenager attire, and like I said, I was caught off guard, so I told them I was fine [without a prayer]. But looking back, maybe I should've engaged them in a conversation, hmmm, maybe along the lines of the First Discussion (from the old Missionary discussions), if they were wanting to talk about God! :) I found it VERY interesting that they chose ME - I was alone (Matt was actually in the ocean at that moment) and I was the ONLY female in MILES that was in a one-piece swimming suit, I think - what a "good candidate" I must've looked like to them! ;)

~ A sunset as we left the beach one evening.


~ A 31" Pizza! That's not a typo, it's true - from Luigi's at the Beach. Here's what just ONE slice looked like.


~ In the Hot Tub at the Hotel - a nerdy guy (w/ some "Plumber's Butt" action going on) hitting on a barely-covered, blond, young thing who was holding a Margarita - that explains why she was giving him the time of day? Very entertaining to witness. :)

~ "European Vacation" was showing in our room one night -

We're sooo glad ours did NOT turn out like that!

Thanks, Dean & Marsha, David & Kristen, Eric & Julie, Gina & Jeremy, Mike & Mandy for watching our kids!!!
(It "takes a village" to cover 5 kids- whew!)

MORE than the other guys

I flew on JetBlue this week and I was reminded again why it's so great! Enjoy...





**cough, cough**shameless plug, I know**cough, cough**

We Interrupt this Family...to bring you Baseball Season

The 2009 baseball season is now over for us.

Finished. Done. The End.

The Stats:

# of my children who played baseball this year: 3

# of my children I toted around to watch another child's game: 4

# of different teams my children were on: 3

# of different fields my children played on: 9

# of times my children had games at the same time, but on different fields: 9

# of weeks baseball lasted: 9

# of games in the regular & post-season: 45

# of wins: 22

# of losses: 23

# of "after-game treats" we brought for the team(s): 96

# of hours spent at the ball park: 74

# of miles driven back & forth to practice & games: 447

# at the gas pump (due to baseball related driving): $63.00

# of times I had to wake a sleeping baby to take my children to baseball: 13

# of times I washed AND scrubbed dirty/grass stained uniforms: 23

# of times my children wore dirty baseball pants to a game: 11

# of hours I spent trading/bargaining/wheelin' & dealin' to get time off work so I would be able to see my children's games: 24

# of times we missed nightly homework: 18

# of times we ate dinner at home during baseball season: 31 (out of 63)

# of sunflower seeds consumed: 5,983

# of rain outs: 6

# of times the game DID NOT get called, so we sat in the rain to watch it: 5

# of children who claim to have "the worst life" because their parents don't allow an "All-you-would-ever-want-to-buy-at-the-concession-stand" experience EACH time: 4

# of times Mom (I) yelled/cheered louder than anyone else there: 90

# of times we forgot that "there's NO crying in baseball" (tears of joy & pain): 14

# of games Haylee struck out before getting her 1st hit: 4

# of games before Haylee was ever able to make it across home plate: 13

# of times Haylee gave up: 0

# of Haylee's batting average in the tournament games (by the end of baseball): .800

# of smiles (my children & us): 562

# of new friends made (kids & adults): 57

# of my children who were named to All-Star teams by those with "Political Power" within the baseball league: 0

# of my baseball children who ARE All-Stars in their parents' eyes regardless: 3

# of medals received: 1

# of trophies earned: 2

# of "Most Improved Player" awards acquired: 1

(Haylee)

# of runner-up (2nd Place) teams in the Championship: 1

(Haylee's team, the lowest seed in the playoff bracket going into the tournament, the Phillies!)

# of Championships won: 1

(Ryan - 1st Place in his League - Farmington/Centerville/West Bountiful/South Davis teams)

# of times I wished I had been doing something else these last 2 months: ABSOLUTELY NONE!

From Sea to Shining Sea...

I recently found this website, StoodThere.com, that helps you find where the TOP 100 Greatest Places to stand on the planet are. (Well, at least for the USA, UK, & Europe.) The list is compiled by public vote - so the places on the list and/or their rank on the list could change daily until the voting ends 12/1/2009.
This was interesting to me and I was eager to read which places made the list, but I also thought to myself, "I bet I haven't been to any of them!" (There goes my thinking in extremes, again!) Well, I looked through the TOP 100 and I was surprised to discover that I had stood in 17 of the places!! 17 is not a huge, impressive percentage overall, BUT it IS compared to me saying it was NOTHING! I then wondered if I had actual photo proof and this is what I found in the archives...

OLD FAITHFUL GEYSER, YELLOWSTONE NTL PARK, WYOMING

{1985}

JENNY LAKE, GRAND TETON NATIONAL PARK, WYOMING

{1985}

THE GRAND CANYON, USA
{Summer 1989}

(another day - same summer)

THE ALAMO, SAN ANTONIO, TX

{1993}

EMERALD BAY, LAKE TAHOE, CA

{1994-Honeymoon}

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK, FL

...on an air boat ride

{1998}

U.S.S. ARIZONA MEMORIAL, PEARL HARBOR, HAWAII

{1999}

KENNEDY SPACE CENTER, CAPE CANAVERAL, FLORIDA

{2003}

SEA WORLD, SAN DIEGO, CA

{2005}

LAS VEGAS STRIP, USA

{2008}

...in all my pregnant glory!

MONTEREY BAY AQUARIUM, MONTEREY BAY, CA

{2007}

GLACIER BAY, ALASKA, USA

{2007}

NIAGARA FALLS, CANADA, USA

{2007}

Then as far as the other places that I couldn't find any photos of....which is really too bad for y'all since they were taken in 80's during my "Big, Bountiful Boof" prime!! So sorry you're missing out! ;) But, the 7-month prego one makes up for it! :)

• Hoover Dam, Arizona/Nevada
• Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, CA
• Bryce Canyon Amphitheater, Bryce Canyon Ntl. Park, Utah
• Hollywood Sign, California, USA

Now, I better get planning on how I'm going to get to the OTHER 83 greatest places to stand in the USA!!

*******

What greatest places have you been to? (On the "StoodThere" list or not.)

Recommendations from a 7 Year Old

When we got our Digital Converter Box (several months ago - No, we did not wait until the deadline TODAY!) we discovered a fun, NEW station for the kids. qubo. It's channel 16.2 on our box. They really enjoy the shows, but I'm beginning to wonder if they may enjoy the commercials just as much - OR MORE! Haylee's eyes are GLUED to the screen when these ads are playing! She is riveted! I believe Haylee is why marketing even exists! Any time I walk in during a commercial, she "bears her testimony."

"Mom, you've gotta have this!"

"Mom, you NEED this so much!"

"Mom, I'm serious! It'd be so cool!"

She has informed me I should get the following products:

Aqua Globes

"The work of art that waters your plants for you."

Wonder Hanger

"The ultimate solution to any crowded closet."

InStyler
The Rotating Iron

"Is styling your hair a nightmare?"

Space Bag storage packs

"Vacuum out the air & save space."

Cash4Gold

"Turn gold into cash."

Ab Circle Pro
"The treadmill for your Abs."

Good thing she doesn't have a credit card (or knows how to dial the phone number on the screen!)

Summer "Break"

On the first day of Summer Break....

I made it until exactly 2:50 PM...

before yelling at one of the children. (Can you guess which one?)

{Heaven, help me!}

Got Birthday?

Matt Does Today.


A while ago (uummm....like 7 months) my SIL tagged me with a "Man Tag" or something like it that asked all these questions about your man. I never did it. But, in honor of Matt's [38th] birthday, I'm gonna just take two of those questions and expand on them.


(First Question)
What do you admire most about him?

1. Matt does NOT get "riled up." In fact, he hates conflict. That means he does not get mad at you. I have watched him play on team sports for the last 16 years and I have never seen him get in a fight - physical or verbal - and believe me, "grown" men (that term is used loosely, it just means OVER AGE 21) are still doing that! He has not lost him temper during a game. He is NOT one of those screaming/whining/cussing lunatics (read ABSOLUTE FOOL) on the field or court. He prefers to "prove his point" by his athletic skills only! It also means he does not criticize you. He does not blame you. He does not "tell you off." (even if you deserve it!) He does not tell you when you're doing something wrong. (I've been trying to tell him it's O.K. - and to please do - in moments when I have the lining or tag on my shirt untucked and hanging out, my buttons have popped open, I have mascara running down my face, boogers showing, etc. etc, but he's still hesitant to point out faults!) He does not want to hurt your feelings or cause you distress. He actually had to fire someone at work last week and he was seriously troubled by it. Even though this employee was bad for the company, he had compassion on the person. His stomach was "not right" the night before. In this economy, especially, that was very difficult for him to do. He does not get "worked up" or lash out about the "injustices" or "inconsideration" of others. Wouldn't you say he balances me out just great?!? :)



2. Matt has a great Spiritual Power about him. My family & I have been very blessed by this. He has strong faith that he will receive answers to prayers - and he does. We have been the recipients of wonderful Priesthood Blessings. Those of you who know him, know that he is NOT a "man of many words" nor does he "have a way with words," but you would never guess that when he gives a Blessing. When he gave Miss B her baby blessing, Ryan was the Deacon holding the microphone and I thought that may be a special experience for him, but when I asked him about it later, he said, "My arm hurt after all that time." When he returned to the Deacon's bench, the others joked with him & declared, "That was the LONGEST one ever in this ward!" and they had timed it & knew the exact minutes/seconds. Some of the most beautiful moments have been when he gives our children their Back-to-School Father's Blessings. I, as their Mother, of course, have various concerns about our children - a list, really, floating around in my head, but I have never told him every last one of them - he can only take so much of my talking and I don't want to BORE him! :) It never fails, though, in those blessings, he addresses every single one of my worries - that he didn't even know about - UNTIL he was directed by and listened to the Spirit of the Lord in blessing our children! I am so grateful and admire him for that so much.



3. Matt is a good Missionary. I know he was as a young, 19 yr. old Full Time Missionary in Okinawa, Japan, even though I wasn't there, I can tell by the things I've learned over the years about it. On our walk the other night, he told me that he didn't have stress on his mission. His exact words where, "What's there to be stressed about?" What?!? It's because he delved into the work so much, found joy in serving the Lord, and was buoyed up by the "high" of the Gospel of Happiness. But, his missionary service did not end 17 years ago when he returned home. It continues today. He is diligent with those who live in our area - those who others may be "scared of" and won't look after. He will not give up through the promising times and the discouraging times, as well.



4. Matt is an excellent Dad. I always joke about this, but it's true....When our babies are new [and nursing] they like/prefer me more - ya know, they kind of like food - but then when I wean them, it's like they turn on me - Dad becomes ALL THAT forevermore - it's like they're never able to forgive me [for weaning.] Some kids are frightened of their Dads, but not ours (see #1) - they call for him if they wake in the night with a nightmare, they want him to tuck them in & listen to their prayers at night. Of course, I've trained them to go to his side of the bed in the middle of the night/very early morning, so that happens, too. When we were in Disneyland with just Haylee & Miss B, there were many rides that the baby could not go on, so just Haylee and ONE parent could go -- guess who Haylee chose every single time? You got it - Dad! Finally, Matt had to "make" Haylee go with me sometimes! :)



5. Matt goes to the Temple frequently. A couple of years ago, Matt set up a temple time with the Elder's Quorum to go together, for those who wanted to - to make it easier to go, perhaps? It was a set time 2X every month, an early morning session. Matt has always gone and guess how many times someone else has joined him? Exactly NONE! He goes alone - always hoping, always hoping....

(Next Question)
What does he do that surprises you?

1. When we go down to St. George to visit/stay with my parents, there are NO snacks/candy/junk food - not even one morsel. There is also no Diet Dr. Pepper - which goes without saying. Matt will go out "to get gas" sometimes, but will bring me back a stash of all the above mentioned items to enjoy secretly in our guest bedroom! Oohhh...what a welcome treat! :)



2. Matt can fall asleep pretty much instantly. This shouldn't surprise me after all these years, but it still does. Especially when it involves LOTS of NOISE, an exciting day tomorrow, a "heavy" talk just finished, being in the midst of extended Brenchley Family conversation, just following "the deed" (chuckle), crying babies, T.V. going, when a lot of things are on our minds, reading with all the lights on, even while driving sans sunflower seeds/Costco mangos/wife jabbering! Anytime. Anywhere.



3. Matt knows his sports trivia. When we watch "Talkin' Sports" or "Sportsbeat Sunday" and they have a Trivia question - Matt always says the answer out loud - and he's right! Too bad, he never wins the prize - I keep tellin' him he needs to actually call in sometimes to have a chance, but that would require him getting up off the bed to get the phone! ;) I think, How much can one person really know? I keep waiting for a time when he won't know it- especially about things that happened so long ago. I'm still getting surprised week after week. Let me give you an example...Do you know this? "What university had a player with a plastic thumb when it defeated UCLA for the NCAA men's basketball national championship?" Matt does. It was Louisville University, 1980 (The player's name is Wiley Brown.) Or do you know this? "What professional football team was the first NFL team to draft 1985 Heisman Trophy winner Bo Jackson?" Matt will tell you it was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1986. Let's just say I'm so glad he's on my team when we play "The 80's Game!"

I LOVE YOU, Matt!

To Go or Not to Go...That is the Question

Matt's 20 Year High School Reunion is this year.

Do we go? Or not? We want to go. Or do we? We should go. Or not.

That's the conversation that's been floating around our home as of late.

Matt is excited about this - I can tell because THE DAY that he found out that his Class of '89 had a website where you could check up on everyone, he was on it! But, there's a catch...you are not able to view any info about anyone else until you, yourself, write a profile. And he completed his profile THAT DAY. I'll just say that is pretty unheard of for him. Our 7-yr. old's Baby Book still has a blank page in it - the page with the title, "A message from Daddy." Yeah...he becomes quite animated where High School is concerned! Probably because he never has quit living in the 80's or embraced the truth that he is NOT a young pup (w/ his hideous mullet) anymore. I tease him often that he is "in love" with High School. (And he does not deny it nor correct me!)

Actually, MY reunion was last year and we did not go. The invitation clearly stated, "No Kids Allowed" and at that time I had a 2-month old baby who was [literally] attached to me, so that made our decision for us. Matt was totally fine with that, but now, one year later, the tables are turned. Since it's not MY reunion, I'm not that...."emotionally invested" should we say, on attending as he is. THAT and the fact that it IS Viewmont H.S. we're talking about and REALLY how can a B.H.S. grad (Go Braves!), like myself, get motivated by that? :) AND that it does indeed cost $50 per person BEFORE the deadline or $60 after. This is what is so ironic to me. Why would we want to PAY to go back to High School? PAY for a complete package with all the insecurity, the cattiness, the Who's-cool-&-who's-a-loser scoreboard, the phoney-baloney, super-inflated egos, the reminder of your less-than-noble choices, etc. that you could ask for. Would anyone even want to go back for FREE? ALL THOSE reasons and, this reunion thing entered my dreams the other night and so I shared with Matt what happened in the dream and how it MAY be my real fear.

I don't want to have to see him hugging/kissing all his old girlfriends!

His response to my admission?

"I don't think I'm going to be hugging/kissing any girls."

And then as an afterthought....

"Am I?"

OK, OK - STOP! You "think?" Really? - "think?" Let me just cover up my ears. Lesson to the Husband. That is a terrible answer. You failed! MEMORIZE and Repeat after me...

"I Know I will NOT be hugging/kissing any girls."

or

"I guarantee THAT will not be happening - mercy!"

or

"I wouldn't dream of doing that!"

or

"Are you freakin' KIDDING me?"

or

Barf, cough, gag, clear throat, choke on/spit out Dr. Pepper that you were drinking, get tears in your eyes....

or

"The ONLY one I'm gonna be hugging/kissing is YOU, BABE!"

Since my concern was not resolved, I suggested he could Rent-a-wife. Wasn't there a movie about that in the last year or so? What was that movie? A girl had to go to a wedding of her sister, (Or was it a friend? Or her ex-lover?) so she responded to an ad in the newspaper for an "escort".....Those kind of services are out there, right? I told him that way he could get a REAL hottie to go show off at the reunion as his "trophy wife." Isn't this a win-win situation?

He says he's not that shallow -- OH, but that's what High School is all about -- it'll be great!

He says they'll all wonder what happened to me -- No they won't, the few people from his class who know me most likely won't even be there due to moving or work.

He asks, "What about the Badham's?" They live in our ward and BOTH the husband & wife are classmates of his and are very well aware of me. I assure him I can get the Badham's to keep a secret! (That may be a lie! hee, hee Jennifer!)

Again...the correct response would be...

"MY real wife is THE HOTTIE - No rental required!"

(More training needed!)

Anyway, it's his decision. I just told him to make it BEFORE the deadline so we don't pay MORE for the "treat" to revisit High School and all that it entails (see list above.) To help him decide I asked if there was anyone he really wanted to see (who he doesn't see already.)

He said that was a good question.

He [eventually] decided to only go to the informal gathering (read FREE) on Friday night and forego the official (read BIG BUCKS) reunion on Saturday night.

Final Answer.

And then yesterday, he got an email informing him that the deadline has been extended...

I have a feeling "The Reunion" conversation is going to open back up again.

Kids Say the Darndest Things - May Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Katelyn saw me exercising at home...
Katelyn: "What are you doing that for?"
Me: "I'm trying to work off this fat."
And then when I finished...
Katelyn: "You're still fat!" 5/09

Haylee & I were talking about Primary & her teacher (whose father recently got called to be our new Bishop)...
Me: "Do you know who her dad is?"
Haylee: "Yes"...(pause while thinking)..."The Principal of our Church." 5/09