Bountiful Triathlon

Such a "creative" title, huh?!? :)

About 5 months ago, my sister, Beeb, (a.k.a. Marianne) invited our whole family to participate in the Bountiful Triathlon with her. If you remember from my "100th Post" (#24), I can't swim. I promptly replied to her invitation with the "I. WOULD. DROWN." rationale, surely thinking that would get me "off the hook." NOPE. Beeb, not known to give up that easily when she really wants something, contacted me about a week later and told me she had found me a "swimmer," so I was good to go as a relay team! (She had to keep me -- as it turned out, only ONE brother-in-law and myself out of a family of 34 accepted her invitation.)


And that's how the background story goes about how I got to this point.

I don't even own a bike. (Slight problem!) But, a few years ago, my husband's parents gave him back his old Schwinn from when he was about 12 yrs. old or so. It's been hanging from a hook on our garage ceiling ever since. By process of elimination, I decided that THAT was the bike I'd use for the Triathlon.

And since I didn't have a bike, you can safely assume that I don't even own a helmet, either. Hey, Ryan has one, so THAT'S what I decided to use for the Triathlon!

The first time I took it out for a ride, I was a bit nervous -- after all, I hadn't ridden a [non-stationary] bike since my mission. But, it's true what they say, "...it's just like riding a bike..." and it all came back to me. Well, at least, after I wobbly made it down the hill for a street that I live on!

After several training bike rides, I got a flat tire once while out riding. Another fancy schmancy biking girl came by and asked if I needed help. She not only had the "official" biking attire, but she ALSO had a sort of fanny pack on her bike with an extra tire tube in it and a tire pump attached to a bar on her bike. She attempted to help me, but the ol' Schwinn is so old, that her modern, fine pump was "incompatible" with my....I don't even know what the correct name for it is....it's the thingy that sticks up from the tire that you attach the pump to...ya know what I'm talking about? Well, I didn't even know there were different sizes and that one pump DOESN'T fit all! Well, there I was still stranded and the biking girl kind of chastised me. She told me that I needed to carry a pump. She told me that I needed to have my own sort of fanny pack with a spare tube, a CO2 cartridge (or something?), a cell phone, a credit card, AND to carry water. NONE OF WHICH I HAD! And she didn't say this, but she probably wanted to: "And you need to get rid of your lame shorts & T-shirt, too!" I'm like, It's not like I'm a professional or anything!!

So, that gives you an idea of what kind of "athlete" I am, entering the Tri(bi)athlon world!

In all my experience in running races in the past, there has always been "casual runners" who also enter the events. Not everyone is like the Kenyans who WIN all the races (and absolutely smoke the rest of us!) So, basically, there are a good number of people who are "average" amongst my running peers. BUT, the thing that worried me about the Triathlon was that these people were "real athletes!" I mean, the whole challenge of a Triathlon is that you have to be a "3 sport athlete" to be able to do it. I felt like I was NOT in their "league." I thought that triathlons were outside of my "athletic range." (Well, they are - I can't swim, but everyone else there CAN do all 3!)

Anyway, I trained. Not at Olympic speed, but I trained. (Thanks to Jill for humoring me and training with me and allowing me to "change up" our usual workouts that we had become accustomed to.)

In the days leading up to the Triathlon, I was at a Family Outing with my sister who conned, er, uh, I mean, invited me to do this and my brother-in-law who also was entered, and they found out that I don't even have any biking shorts! They were amazed. Shocked. Horrified. Again, I'm not a professional! After their reaction, I didn't dare tell them that I was using running shoes that I've had for at least 5 years and socks that were also a few years old!! ;)

In an effort to do things a little bit right, I did try a couple of sporting goods stores after I got home from the Family Outing (the day before the Triathlon), but they didn't have any biking shorts. It was too late to go to a "Bike Shop" that closes early.

The event director also sent out an email the day before with all the deets....He said something about wearing your running shoes, but setting up your "transition area" with your biking shoes. HUH?!? There's a difference? Again, NOT a professional! ;)

So, I show up to the Triathlon in the morning, in my "regular" shorts, with one pair of shoes and park my old Schwinn (with a hole in the handle bar foam) and hang up my 13 yr. old's bike helmet on it. My brother-in-law informs me that the bike next to his is probably a $5,000 -$6,000 bike! And then I notice the set up of another athlete's "transition area"...a towel laid out, with the biking shoes, various gu's, power bars, salves, gloves, etc., etc. arranged just so on top. It SCREAMED, "I am a professional!" And, again, I acknowledged: I AM NOT!

And did I mention it started to rain? We'd gotten another email the day before stating that there was a 30-40% chance of rain, but we'd go on with the event. And, because Murphy rules my life, of course, the "chance" became a reality! :)

Anyway, are you wondering if I'm ever going to get to the actual event?

Well, I am.

This triathlon was a "sprint" which means only a 5K run, a 10.5 mile bike, and a 350m swim. It was in a Run-Bike-Swim order. This is reversed from "usual" Triathlons. So, my swimmer just had to WAIT (& wait) for me!
I ran - and I felt good. I ran every bit of it, which was my goal. (In my training, I always had walked for a minute or two, so this is something I had not done before!)

Some of my favorite parts of the run were:
* A family relay team had made up T-shirts with a picture of a Transformers head on the back. The caption: "Transforming couch potatoes into All-Star athletes." :)

* An old man out walking on the sidewalk, in jeans pulled up above his waist, cinched with a belt and wearing a long-sleeved shirt (in August) and stooped over. He raised his arm and waved at me (okay, maybe it was all of us) enthusiastically and called out, "You look great! Keep up the good work!"

* About six young kids (like under age 7) were lined up on the side of the road with their hands out for me to go by and give them "fives" as I passed - just like the NBA players do when they run out!

* My family drove by in the Suburban along the way and cheered out the window. They parked up ahead and got out of the car and took photos (or at least Ryan tried as he ran on the sidewalk next to me!)

* As I was approaching the finish line of the run, I heard Brett (another brother-in-law) belt out, "GO SUZ!" Two of my sister's whole family's were there, so then as I neared the end, I heard a lot of, "Yeah, Aunt Suz's!" from my nieces & nephews. My sister, Michelle, and my Dad was also heard from somewhere along the sidelines. I'm sure it was all just "charity cheers" but it was good to hear! As a side note, my Dad had driven my Mom all the way back to St. George following our outing on Friday night, then turned around and drove all the way back up here so he could be there for the Triathlon! Yah...he's proud of his kids! :)

So, then on to the biking portion. It felt good to be DONE running and get on the bike and speed (well, by my standards) away. The breeze cooled me off and it was refreshing (the rain had stopped, but we'd been warned about slick road conditions!)

So, I'm going along...and I hadn't gone far when I see the first biker pass me, going the opposite direction, RETURNING back to the "transition area" at the end of his ride. WHOA! He was 10 miles ahead of me - literally! But, I go on. Pedaling and pedaling and pedaling.... AND THEN...(you knew it was coming, didn't ya?)

MY CHAIN FELL OFF!

What the...? It not only fell off, but it got lodged/jammed in between the bike frame. I had to pull over and STOP to fix it. Are you kidding me? Can't Murphy even take a "rest" for my first tri(bi)athlon?

I pulled and I yanked and tugged...and nothing. A minute goes by.

I detached the front part of the chain to give me some more "slack"...and nothing. I was sitting there on the sidewalk and all these other bikers were passing by.

Tugging, pulling, yanking. Another minute goes by.

I think, "If only I had my cell phone, I'd call Matt to 'come to the rescue.'" And that fancy schmancy biker girl's chastisement from months before came back into my mind!

Pulling, yanking, tugging. Three, four minutes go by.

One other triathlete asks in passing, "Are you OK?" I told him my chain fell off - and he nods and goes on. Well, of course, he's got his own triathlon to complete.

Yanking, tugging, pulling. Five, six minutes go by.

I think I need some sort of "tool" to knock it out of there. I look around and find a little twig - which just broke so easily when I tried it.

Tugging, pulling, yanking. Seven minutes go by.

I start to weigh out my options. Does this mean I have to quit? I am NOT a quitter! What about Allen, my "swimmer?" He is waiting for me to finish! I can't let him down. Do I have to just walk my bike back to the start and find help? Can you walk a bike with the chain off? That would take too much time. I definitely don't want to quit.

Pulling, yanking, tugging. Eight minutes go by.

I look in the gutter for anything else that can help - all I see is a cigarette butt.

Yanking, tugging, pulling. Nine minutes.

I was by the intersection where policemen where directing/stopping traffic for the triathletes. I called out to one of them, "Do you have any tools?" Nope. I thought it was their job to help! :(

Tugging, yanking, pulling. Nine minutes, 45 seconds.

The thought comes to me, "You've got to pray." And, there on the sidewalk with a "bike down," I prayed in my mind, simply, "Heavenly Father, PLEASE let this chain come out!"

Pulling, yanking, tugging. Ten minutes.

THEN, Two angels in the form of an older couple came biking by from the other direction (not part of the triathlon.) I asked them if they had some tools -- and they said, "YES!" The woman asked what was going on and when I told them it was a triathlon, they didn't even know, but the man said, "Well, let's get you on your way!" He went to work (without tools) and, by golly, the chain became unstuck and we got it back on! They told me to try it out - and it worked - and I WAS on my way. But, not before I yelled, "Thank You!" You were an answer to my prayer!

I was so happy to be riding again, but even happier that my answer was immediate and obvious!

Down, but not out, I knew I was way behind by now, so I pedaled faster than I'd ever done in training. All the while, afraid to change gears for fear that the chain on the ol' Schwinn might fail me again. Afterwards, when I saw my biking time results, I found even with the stop, it was a faster time than I'd ever biked that distance before. In fact, if you take out the 10 min. stop, the time remaining is 20 min. lower than my "usual" 10.5 mile bike time.

I was able to pass several people - granted most of them were not my fellow triathletes, but just "regular" bikers out on the Legacy Parkway trail. So, I was able to call out, "On your left" quite a bit anyways, so it felt like I was doing something.

My same cheerleading section (plus some of Beeb's In laws) was there to bring me on home. Again, thank you for the "courtesy cheers!" Because the biking "traffic" had died down some by this time, there were people walking across the road where I was coming in. It cracked me up that the "Mama Bear" instinct came out in my sister, Michelle, and she YELLED to those people, "GET OUT OF THE ROAD! YOU'RE IN THE WAY." :)

I got off my bike and my "rubber legs" just about didn't hold me. My "swimmer" approached me and I bent down to pull off my ankle band timing chip (the "baton") to give to him and for a minute I thought I might black out before I made it back standing up. Thankfully, he put the ankle band on himself because I don't think I could have.

I went and watched him swim -- so glad that it was HIM and NOT me! He made it look so graceful, precise, effortless - that I almost thought, "I could do that!" But, then I came back to reality and admitted, "no, I can't." It was such a load off that I had me a "swimmer." We finished in 1:50:20.9.

When I look at all the results, I wish I could be faster - I was faster 9 years and 50 lbs. ago. in my marathon day. I dream about doing better and have to fight off the negative thoughts that try to overshadow my success as an individual tri(bi)athlete! I have to remind myself, I DID IT!

Here is my relay team member, Allen (left), me, Beeb (my sister), and Jake (my bro in law)

{Plus, one of my nieces hanging on/hiding behind Jake and Miss B in the stroller in the background}

I saw this trailer that caught my attention:

I talked to the group (all wearing "Team Brenchley" T-shirts) and Brian is the Brenchley and is one of the triathletes. He is in a wheel chair and did not (cannot?) speak a word, but had a killer smile- you can kind of see the wheelchair in the photo, in the trailer. Tyler is a friend and is the other triathlete. He pushes Brian in the wheelchair during the run, hooks a chariot to the back of his bike while Brian sits in it for the bike part, and then puts Brian in a 2-man raft and puts a harness around his waist and swims like that. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. They told me that Brian is from North Logan, but did not know his relatives names. There's just simply not that many Brenchley's - we've got to be related!

When I first started doing races, my kids thought it was bad if I didn't "win" (which I never do) so I've had to drill it into their brains that it's enough to have accomplished something - and it's NOT about winning (except for the Kenyans), not that I wouldn't mind those grand prizes, but I'm in it to FINISH. I heard from another runner once that, "I'd rather be DFL than DNF."
DFL = dead freaking last, DNF = did not finish. I probably still am an embarrassment to my children, but to emphasize my point further, I also tell them that actually participating, to put yourself out there, is also better than a "DNS" (did not start) which is all of them, so they cannot talk!

I promise, I took 2 showers and washed up between the triathlon and going to church today, but it's permanent marker! Haylee caught a picture of me this morning - here's a close-up of how I looked in my church clothes. My "triathlon tattoos" advertising my age on my left calf to the entire ward! I did, however, get all the black, bicycle chain grease to wash off my hands!

Hey! Come a little closer and I'll admit something to you. I kinda want to do a triathlon again, so I can have a "clean" event without "incident." Any "swimmers" out there? ;)

More Murphy's Law in Action

We were on a Family Outing this week and were enjoying the day at Palisades State Park, recreating in the lake...when all of a sudden, a hurricane whipped through!

Certain of my family members keep informing me that "We don't have hurricanes in Utah!" (so, maybe I should say, "hurricane-like conditions" during a micro burst thunderstorm to appease those persons!)

Anyway, we were just the "Day Use" people, but there were other people who were camping there...and when the hurricane came, they.were.in.trouble! Their dingy boat became airborne and then flew/tumbled afar off. There were 5+ people trying to fight the awnings of their RVs to get them down. Others' tents were blowing over sideways and entire canopies were blown up and away and then the frame went tumbling after. We hurried into action chasing down some of these items for them and helping with the awnings, etc. and then we could leave since we were "Day Use" people. We drove away feeling very sorry for all those people. In fact, we drove 45 min. back to our place grateful that we were NOT those people.

And then, we came upon OUR camp and this is what we saw.....

Our distance from Palisades had NOT made us immune from the storm.

Apparently, the same weather had found us.

Our tent was down.

It was soaking wet (& still raining).

There were puddles on top and puddles inside (our windows had been left open.)

All of our bags, clothes, pads, sleeping bags were inside, in those puddles.

We crawled in the collapsed, wet tent to "rescue" our things.

We were drowned rats. (sorry no photo taken)

We had to "relocate" for a time.

And live out of our car.

It took an entire day/night to dry out.

The final night, we moved back into our tent, only to be awakened by Katelyn screaming out. Upon investigation, we found her (and her pillow, sleeping bag, & pad) covered in throw up - with a good portion of it matted in her curly locks! A middle-of-the-night trip to the community shower was in order. As she cried the whole while!

We are the world's worst camping neighbors! (Everyone around us was "treated" to her yelling in the night last week, too, at our ward campout.)

So, now, after several nights of crappy sleep, I get to do my first Triathlon tomorrow --

Wish Me Luck!

My Love-Hate Relationship with Summer Vacation

Now that Summer Vacation is about two-thirds over,

I'm torn between thinking it's going too fast

AND willing it to go faster!!

Allow me to explain this complicated relationship

I have with Summer Vacation...

LOVE:

I can go out on errands w/out the kids. (Thanks to our "built-in babysitter")

HATE:

I GO out w/out the kids = more $$$ spent.

LOVE:

No "Morning Madness" - don't have to get the kids ready for school.

HATE:

The "All-Day Madness" because the kids are not in school.

LOVE:

No strict bedtime = fewer bedtime struggles?

HATE:

Kids think they have NO BEDTIME

LOVE:

The weather warms up - wearing flip flops every day, running through the sprinklers, air conditioned home.

HATE:
The weather becomes scorching - dry, cracked feet/heels, sprinkler repair is a "time hog" for Matt, $100-$200/mo. power bill.

LOVE:

Lack of schedules.

HATE:

Nobody thinks they have to do anything.

LOVE:

Kids are home.

(at least, in theory, that should be a "love.")

HATE:

The house is a MESS, arguments pop up too often, constant interruptions, broken things, the baby gets awakened.

LOVE:

No school homework.

HATE:

Any kind of learning is met with resistance -after all, they're on a "vacation" from school, they tell me.

LOVE:

More Family Time?

HATE:

Really, it's just more Mom-and-kids-time = Absolutely NO "Me" time.

But, Happy last 1/3 of Summer Vacation to you!! :)

(to those who LOVE everything about it!)

Kids Say the Darndest Things - July Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

My kids were going over to a friend's house to watch the "original" Freaky Friday movie.
Kyle: "What's it like?"
Me: "Oh, it's the same mother-daughter story of the Disney movie you know, just with different actors."
Kyle: "Why do they call it, 'original?'"
Me: "Because it was made first. It's the one I watched when I was growing up."
Kyle: "Is it in black and white?" 7/09

Haylee was showing me the puzzles she had put together at my parents house...
Me: "You did it! Those are the same puzzles I used to play with when I was a little girl!"
Haylee: "WHOA! They MUST be so old!" 7/09

This is What Happens When...

You take a first-time RV driver

+

An accident-prone teenager on "RV back-up directing" duty

=

Woops!

And it's amazing the "Queen of Murphy's Law" wasn't even involved this time! (see #71 from previous post)

100th Post

And to think I resisted the Blog thing for so long...

Not only did I do it, I made it to my 100th post!!

"I'm not ready for that kind of commitment." is how I replied to all those who "encouraged" me (READ: bugged me) to start a blog.

Now, that I've done it, I will stick by my "commitment" remark - because it does take it - but, I have really had so much fun being a "blogger." (Especially reading your blogs or your comments on mine - hint, hint! :))

Maybe part of it has to do with the fact that my scrapbooking is 2 yrs. 8 months behind (cringe, cringe!) My "journal" has turned into me just writing something on a blank calendar each day (a calendar square is not big at all = less daunting of a task to fill that up!) ...although, more & more those daily squares are getting skipped.

I still plan on knocking away those scrapbook pages (someday), but those mostly show the EVENTS of my family. This Blog, for me, is more of the DAY-TO-DAY things, my current thoughts & feelings that would probably be forgotten if I waited - so basically, it reflects my REAL LIFE!

These 100 posts have got to tell something about my life since it's not getting sufficiently recorded in those other mediums, huh!?!

And just in case you don't know anything about me (or not enough about me) - and I'm making a BIG assumption that you'd even want to...after all, you DID come to MY site on your own free will & choice....

HERE'S my "TOP 100" to celebrate my 100th post:

100. I save the best for last. When eating chips or fries, I eat the broken, small pieces first and leave the full, unmaimed ones for last.

When opening mail, I take on the bills first, and the personal letters last.

During school, I always saved my favorite pair of jeans to wear on Fridays.

And on my blog roll, wouldn't y'all like to know which ones I read first and which ones I save? :)

99. I served a full-time L.D.S. church mission in Fukuoka, Japan. Growing up, for me, it was never "IF I go on a mission," it was always "WHEN I go on my mission." On my mission application, however, there was a question where you checked a box about your level of interest in learning a foreign language. The box I checked? NOT interested AT ALL! Go Figure! (That's what I get for trying to "rig" a New Zealand mission call.)

98. I always get asked about the food in Japan. The first time I went to the grocery store there, I walked down the aisles, crying - real tears! I survived on bread and mikans (like "cuties" oranges) in the beginning...until my companion reported me to the Mission President's wife. I did eventually graduate to bigger & better things. A favorite? Squid stir fry, a Japanese roommate made for us, we could see the suction cups on the tentacles and everything! I never do care to eat Sea Urchin sushi (ground up into a "paste") again, however. I was literally gagging at someone's home while eating it once while my [same as before mentioned] companion threatened me, "Don't you DARE throw up, Don't you DARE throw up!"

97. I had a boyfriend before I went on my mission. He told me I should NOT go. I went anyways. He is now married to my cousin! :) (It really is totally cool - just a fun fact!)

96. I was crowned "royalty" (The Queen) at a Nerd Dance in College. (such an honor!)

95. I used to get school lunch money every week from my mom, but I'd skip lunch and use the money as a "source of income" instead. (And then get more $$ when I "ran out" of lunch money!)

94. I play(ed) the clarinet and piano. I went through no fewer than 5 piano teachers during an 8 year period.

93. I have "dabbled" in running. I have run dozens of 5K's, a handful of 10K's, a couple of Half Marathons and one full Marathon (to which I lost 3 toe nails.) I even medaled in one race. Of course, there were only 2 females in my age category, but still, I got a silver medal! :)

92. I love to go on cruises! But, I need to add many more to my "life experiences." Are you coming with us in Feb. 2010? I am invited y'all again! :)

91. I am a "night owl." The only problem is - I get up early, too - what is that called? It's obvious I've been missing my "beauty sleep." :(

90. I had a "missionary" many years ago. When he left, I went to work at Jacob Lake - in the bakery. He was glad since there was a "No Dating" rule and I would learn to cook. He is now married to one of the "locals" from his mission.

89. I gave my husband, Matt, a "guarantee" in our pre-dating life. I was interested in going out with him, and after "hanging out" for a while, I went out on a limb, and so much as told him this. He [lacking any social grace] proceeded to tell me about a whole list of girls that he either had already pursued, was currently pursuing, or was planning to pursue. Me, pride trampled & ego wounded, mustered up one more ounce of courage, and proceeded to tell him these exact words, "You GO AHEAD and date all of those other girls, but let me tell you one thing, As soon as you start dating ME, you WON'T WANT TO date ANYONE else!" From that day forward, he NEVER did date anyone else.

88. I have a fondness for red shoes.

87. I get COLD feet. I'm always tucking them down between the couch cushions - or under someone's legs - forgive me if you're ever sitting next to me and I do this to you, instinctively! ;)

86. I have a "hang up" with people invading my space. If I ever have to share a bed with you, I will HUG the edge and sleep on a different layer of sheets than you! Exception: Matt.

85. As a young girl, I always wished I had a different name. Whenever I 'played house,' I would be "Kristen" or "Stephanie." Later, I used an alias if I ever met someone (like a guy who I didn't really want to see again.) The name was "Gloria."

84. I made the rounds around the state in college. I went to Weber State, Southern Utah State and then finally ended up at (and graduated from) my favorite, Utah State University. Go Aggies! :)

83. And yes, I AM a "True Aggie." And I have no idea who the guy was who made me one.

82. In my freshman year of college, there was a ballot box for Homecoming royalty at various places around campus. A friend of mine thought it would be fun to "stuff the ballot box" with each other's names. I put in votes for him whenever I passed a box and he did the same for me...And then I got a call from the Homecoming committee informing me that I was a "finalist." hahaha. I totally screwed up the interview, though, that's where it ended!

81. I never saw Star Wars until the Special Edition was released to movie theatres for it's 20 year anniversary. We went with a big group of people, and when one of the guys heard about this, he was shocked and asked me, "Did you fly the Nazi flag at your house, too?" Hey, I was a child and no one ever took me!

80. I don't sit on toilet seats. Not even the ones in my own home EXCEPT for the one in my Master Bathroom. It's the only one I can trust. It just grosses me out. It makes for some pretty strong quads! :)

79. My house was right next to our church growing up. It made it so convenient to come home during Sunday School - ya know, to get something to eat. (READ: sluffing). And Peggy Hall would accompany me. I remember being home once and my dad came home, also. We literally dove into a bedroom closet and hid. We waited & waited silently as we heard his footsteps going all through the house. I wonder what he was doing home? Was he looking for me? Or was he sluffing, er, I mean, getting something to eat, too? :)

78. My pet peeves: excuses, flakiness, & lack of appreciation.

77. If money was no object, I'd get a gardener, a maid, and a Personal Assistant.

76. We had horses (right in our back yard) when I was a child. Their names were "Peaches," "Joker," and "Ambershawn."

75. I used to be a Pizza Delivery Gal. I sure got some interesting reactions when they opened the door to see me..."Hey, guys, Come look! There's a girl out here!" But, I got a free personal pizza every night I worked. Aaaah, the perks!

74. It really is quite amazing I got that job, seems as I made such a...well, I made an impression. When I interviewed, I was taking a tour of the restaurant with the manager, and my foot got caught on a door jam which made me trip and I went flying, Superman style, arms outstretched and slid across the ground on my stomach and then stopped just at the feet of the Manager. I quickly stood up and said I was fine.

73. I am a Middle Child. (Shocker!) And with that...I always had to fight for my rights. And I have a lot to say/prove to the world!

72. I always said I wanted to marry a tall, blue-eyed man cuz I didn't wanna have a bunch of short, brown-eyed kids (which I always thought was my own personal curse.) I got the right man - well, he's got green eyes - now we'll have to wait & see how that affects our kids.

71. My life follows Murphy's Law.

70. I got my big toe stuck in a fan once - still have the scars. (see #71)

69. I wanted new shoes once, so I buried them in a big snow bank by my house, so I could tell my dad they were gone and he would buy me some more. He told me to find them and when I tried, they really were no where to be found...until spring when the snow melted. So, much for my plan! (see #71)

68. When riding on a motorcycle, in shorts, I, ignorantly, leaned my leg against the [hot] engine and burned it. What a big blister that turned into - still have that scar, too. (see #71)

67. I was riding on a Rocking Horse when I was 2 yrs. old - on the fireplace hearth. I fell off and cracked my head open - still have the scar to prove it. (see #71)

66. I was chasing my brother once and couldn't catch him, so I threw a back rest pillow at him to slow him down. Only problem was, it tripped him instead and he happened to have a Lincoln Log piece in his mouth - that broke open the roof of his mouth with the force of his fall and it was traumatic. I'm sure he still has a scar. (see #71) That evil, Middle Child! ;)

65. We got pulled over by a cop on the way to the hospital to have our baby. He claimed Matt had run a red light. Only thing was, we had not passed any traffic lights at all in between our house and where we were. Me, being in REAL labor, getting annoyed that he was confusing us with the real culprit and he wouldn't give up even when Matt explained I was in labor and we were going to the hospital. I finally barked at him, "THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC LIGHT!!" He let us go. (see #71 & #73)

64. During my first pregnancy, my fingers swelled up so big, I had to get my wedding ring CUT OFF. :( (see #71)

63. While I was playing "Wonder Woman" with a friend, I ended up with a bloody nose. (see #71)

62. One Saturday night in college, a friend (same "stuff the ballot box" friend) decided it'd be fun to dye my hair darker. What we didn't know is that dark dyes can turn blonde hair GREEN! Yep, I had green hair for a week until I could get home to have it stripped at the salon. (see #71)

Get the picture w/ Murphy's Law?

61. I seriously gave Matt a chance to "opt out" before we got married. I told him, "I am not a maid." and "I am not your mother." to help him decide. He said that's not what he wanted, he wanted a wife, and went ahead with the wedding anyway! (I'm so glad.)

60. I graduated as "Suzanne Quinette Fowers" from High School. Only thing is...I do not have a middle name. I just didn't want to be that forgotten middle child again! Everyone else was walking as "Jonathon Benjamin Tomlinson, the Fouth, graduating with High Honors" and then I would just be "Suzanne Fowers?" I took the liberty of putting a middle name to my card to add interest! :)

59. My mom always told me I have a "zest" for life.

58. I shop the sales. And then add coupons. I've rarely ever paid retail. I go for the $20/$10 challenge. That's what I like to buy adult/kid's clothes for. They do exist. I find them all!

57. I am older than my husband. He says it's by 8 months, I say it's by 9 months. (Sept. 14th to June 8th - you do the math.) But, we made sure we got married when we were the same age - during that small window of time during the year.

56. I drove to California before I even had a Driver License or took Driver's Ed. A few of us kids were on a road trip with my Dad and he got tired of driving. So, he had me take the wheel. All was well on the straight freeway. It was just getting off the exit (in a clutch car) that presented some problems. ;)

55. I have a soft spot in my heart for the Underdog.

54. I had a leg hair growing contest with a guy - and WON!

53. Although I had 2 brothers, they were not very "boyish BOYS" and so, I did not know how boys really acted -- until I had 2 of my own. They are so similar to wild animals! I was not prepared for that! And it about drove. me. crazy!

52. I could "talk" without words with my teenage girlfriends. A look, an elbow nudge, a tap on the leg, a turn of the head, a soft kick under the table - all meant something - a variety of things. This was particularly beneficial when in the company of others who we didn't want to know what we were "talking" about. I have tried doing this with Matt - he just doesn't get it.

51. My fingernails grew really well in Japan and I kept them painted, too. One time a child kept repeating a Japanese word to me while motioning to my long, red fingernails. I didn't understand it, so I looked in up in my Japanese dictionary. The word meant, "Lady of the Night." Not exactly the image you want as a missionary!

50. I was always trying to get a suntan in my youth. I laid out on the roof (w/ oil), I laid out in the back yard (we had a corner lot w/ no fences), and I mowed the lawn in my swimming suit every week. To all my neighbors back then, I apologize - how embarrassing! Stay tuned for the skin cancer that is sure to be in my future.

49. My mom believed in child labor. To this day, I still have an aversion to a few of my childhood chores: ironing, cleaning out the refrigerator, and sweeping, mopping, AND waxing the kitchen floor. I DO NOT want to do them. I put it off and bargain with or bribe Matt to do them.

48. I pluck every day. There's always something, somewhere! Don't even think about moving my tweezers!

47. When I was in labor [unknowingly] with my first child, I called Ask-a-Nurse at 2:30 in the morning. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Something is wrong with me."

Her: "What are your symptoms?"

Me: "I have a terrible pain down low in my stomach."

Her: "Is it a constant pain?"

Me: "No, it comes & goes."

Her: "How long has it been going on?"

Me: "Since yesterday."

Her: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?"

Me: "A ten."

Her: "Are you normally in good health?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "What about your appendix? Your gall bladder? Your liver? Your intestines? Your menstral period?"

Me: "Well, maybe I should mention that I AM 41 1/2 weeks pregnant."

Her: "Oh heavens, girl, get to the hospital right now! You're in labor!"

46. I love fruit - BUT, not cooked. That means not on pizza and not in a pie!

45. I do the store clerk's job. I straighten things up, arrange things in the correct order, and put them back in the right place while shopping.

44. I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea. NO ONE else in my home buys into this. Needless to say, this is a cause of great frustration for me!

43. We celebrated "Golden Birthdays" when I was growing up. (It happens when your age & the date is the same.) I got mine when I turned 14 on the 14th. My party lasted ALL DAY LONG. We (boys & girls) went water skiing during the day, then we came back to my house for a BBQ & dessert, and we watched Miss Utah, Sharlene Wells, be crowned Miss America! And our crowd went WILD! (The date was 9/14/84.)

42. I was born in Springfield, Illinois then moved to Cupertino, California. We came to Utah when I was 5 yrs. old and lived in a few places there.

41. I sometimes "daydream" about being a hero. From being called out of the crowd to score the winning touchdown when I was young to finding a kidnapping victim (Think: Elizabeth Smart) when I was older.

40. I have a knack for getting late fees reversed. Although, I have noticed that lately, in this economy, company's are not being AS lenient with this!

39. I had all my [future] baby names picked out by the time I was in 8th Grade. They were: Ashley, Emily, Jason, & Ryan. A few years later, I made an addendum (in case I wanted 4+) and Travis, Kyle, Whitney, & Shayla became a part of my list, as well. At least the boys' names stuck!

38. I also had June 14, 1994 picked out for my Wedding Date when I was a Young Woman. The actual date? September 9, 1994 - I didn't do too bad on that prediction!

37. I am the little sister of a genius! And I'm not just talking the 4.0 grade point average, 36 on the ACT, Sterling Scholar type of genius, although he was ALL THAT, too. I'm talking about the whole way he thought & figured things out - that's what set him apart as a "genius." Every year, on the first day of school, here's the scene while calling roll:

Teacher: "Suzanne Fowers?"

Me: "Here."

Teacher: (all giddy & enthusiastically) "Are YOU David Fowers' sister?"

Me: "Yes."

Teacher: (bright-eyed & rubbing their hands together) "Are YOU as smart as him?"

Me: "No."

It was really lovely - NOT!

36. I don't watch T.V. much. My mom literally cut the cord when she was so frustrated with unresponsive, T.V. zombie kids and that broke the habit back then for me. I never know what anyone's talking about when they discuss shows.

35. I love to People watch.

34. I majored in Social Work and minored in Japanese in college.

33. I win stuff. T-shirts, Lagoon passes, $$, baby gift baskets, movie tickets, cakes, DVDs, restaurant gift certificates, dance lessons - you name it.

32. I "helped" my brother name his childhood dog. To him it was, "Elby." To me it was "L. B." - code for "Lame Brain."

31. Matt & I used to donate plasma for date $$ back in our early years.

30. I can't wait for Mother/Daughter outings (getaways, overnighters, shopping trips, Girl's Nights Out) that I will do with my girls.

29. After experiencing pregnancy, my foot grew one whole shoe size (7 to 8), I got allergies for the first time in my life, my hair turned darker, my teeth went to pot, my back is messed up, and my vision changed. What the ???

28. I notice the color of your eyes and I remember the words you speak. I am an engaged conversationalist.

27. Sometimes I add things to my "To Do" list that I've already completed, so I can check them off & feel productive.

26. I've always cut my husband's hair. All that practice on my sister's dolls and Barbie hair head must've really paid off!

25. I L.O.V.E.D. John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazard back in the day. He came by helicopter to 5 Points Mall once and I was there to see him - it didn't really turn out how I had fantasized it would. WHOA! I also had a shirt with Shaun Cassidy on it - another heart throb. Woo, Woo!

24. I can't swim. It's a mental thing. I was playing in/floating down a canal once that fed into an underground area. The object was to GET OUT before you got to the bottom, and I tried, but I was going too fast - and I got SO CLOSE to being swept into the underground world - someone pulled me out just in time.

23. I was a spectacle in Japan - Between being a "Kinpatsu" (blonde) with a big nose (that's a good thing to them) & big, round eyes - there was much "Ooohing" & "Awwwing."

22. I am not a fan of Italian food with red sauce.

21. I like surprises.

20. My name has always been misspelled. You should've seen how it was massacred on Valentine's Day cards. It is S-U-Z-A-N-N-E . That's one "Z" and two "N's."

19. Tell me details! Everyone has a story and I want to hear YOURS! I'm really drawn to those Human Interest stories they show during the Olympics.

18. I've taken so many lessons. Besides the instruments, I took tennis, sewing, tumbling, creative dance, group singing, modeling, private voice, drill, soccer, drama, scrapbooking, cooking, swimming, etc. (A lot of good that did.)

17. I would never get sick of eating at the "Shrimp Trucks" in Hawaii. Mmmm.

16. My favorite physical trait are my feet.

15. We don't do Birthday cakes. No one in our family likes them. I started out slaving over the fancy shaped birthday cakes (rocketships, trains, pirates, castles, pizza, caterpillars, etc) and then it'd sit on our kitchen counter for a week, uneaten, and get crusty and then we'd throw it out. Now, the Birthday Boy/Girl chooses a "Birthday dessert" which we know we'll enjoy and it gets eaten!

14. Watching golf puts me to sleep EVERY time.

13. My favorite holiday is the 4th of July. My least favorite is Mother's Day.

12. I have a strange habit (Matt says it's a bad one) of laughing when myself or someone else gets hurt/falls.

11. I have a recurring dream where I can't get something accomplished. I can't log on to my work computer for my shift, I can't make it somewhere I'm suppose to go, I'm at the airport and things keep preventing me from getting to the gate, I'm suppose to do Sharing Time, but I can't get my stuff together in time, I "No-Show" for a race, etc. etc. What does this mean?

10. My calendar "tells" me what to do. If it's not on there, it doesn't exist (in my mind.)

9. I have BIG babies. My first four ranged from 21 to 23 inches in length and their weight ranged between 9 lbs. 1 oz. to 10 lbs. 6 ozs. Then along came Miss B. I had a malfunctioning placenta with her, so she was a scrawny 7 lbs. 11 ozs.

8. Mushrooms, onions, & garlic make everything better! (In my opinion.)

7. I enjoy looking at/touring houses. Not neccesarily to buy, just to see. So, please, if I'm ever at your house, invite me to do so.

6. I like to kiss in the rain. It's such an "out-of-the-movies" experience.

5. My "Love Language" is Acts of Service.

4. I am equally yellow (fun) & red (control) on the colors personality test. Does that mean I have "controlled fun?" Or that I control all the fun?

3. I had Osteomyelitis when I was in 4th grade. I was hospitalized for a week and missed over a month of school. Oh, yah!

2. I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know who I am. I know God's plan. I'll follow Him in faith. I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I'll honor his name. I'll do what is right; I'll follow His light. His truth I will proclaim.

1. I have been skinny dipping - multiple times. Don't ask me when or where or with whom, though! ;)

I've Lost my Mind -- Have you Found It?

Hi, My name is Suzanne, and I've got a problem.

A problem that I thought wasn't suppose to happen for at least a few more DECADES down the road!

I'm serious.

And the fact that I have always strived to be [and I believe have been able to do a pretty good job of being] a "with it," dependable, reliable, "good on her word" type of gal, this REALLY, REALLY causes inner turmoil and aggravation for me!

I AM FORGETTING EVERYTHING! (or, at least, TOO MANY things!)

It's anything from:

• forgetting to tell people stuff - EVEN WHEN I had made a "note-to-self" PRIOR to seeing them that I needed to talk to them about a certain thing.


• leaving laundry in the washer, in a wet wad overnight - ppheeeeew! (which results in having to run the load through again! Aauugh!) Or just simply, starting a load, leaving the laundry room for... I can't remember why, and never finishing it until I happen upon the scene HOURS later.


• forgetting to take my camera very important places - like tea parties, Up close & personal w/ monkies experiences, water fountain playtime, meeting up w/ a friend from 20+ years ago, etc. etc.


• forgetting to eat - until my stomach starts screaming and I look at the clock and realize, "Oh, it's 3:00pm, No wonder!"


• confusing red traffic lights for a stop sign...STOP, wait 1-2-3, GO...horns blaring, brakes screeching, tires skidding, hand gestures flying [at me].


• seeing the soccer registration sign posted around town for weeks, making another "note-to-self" to register my daughter when I get home, and then, you guessed it, not remembering again until the next time I'm driving around town and see the sign...repeat, repeat, repeat...until the deadline comes & goes.


• having a conversation on SATURDAY NIGHT about the fact that the next day was Fast Sunday. And then by the next morning, without a thought, I get a drink and partake of something out of the fridge. (this one I attribute, in part, to being "out of the habit" since it's been 2 years [pre-nursing & pre-pregnancy time period] since I last fasted.)


• forgetting to take any meat out of the freezer for dinner - and then at 5:30pm, everything is rock hard.


• scheduling a trip the last week of August - failing to remember that there's this thing called SCHOOL that will have already started by that time.


• when in the shower, I began with conditioner. So, when I realized the mistake, I followed with the shampoo, so the whole treatment went Conditioner-Shampoo-Conditioner. WHICH I might add, DID have a better effect on my hair than the "normal" Shampoo-Conditioner routine.
• going to bed with my Lily Padz on.


• This one's rather embarrassing, but Kyle had stayed down at his cousin's for several days and we were to meet up again at a family Baptism and he would return home with me then. I understood this when we made the trade-off earlier in the week, I even thought about it that morning before leaving to the Baptism, BUT, at the moment I walked into the Chapel, I had forgotten. So, when Kyle walks up to me (and gives me a big, long hug in our reunion), my first reaction was surprise - surprised to see him there! Who can't remember something like that? People with short term memory loss, I tell ya!

Then there's a few that make me just SO MAD AT MYSELF...

I was driving to my sister's in Orem for her son's baby blessing (so there's a time restraint here), but instead, I drove right on passed and ended up in Provo. I exited in Provo, got back on the freeway and headed back north, only to take the wrong Orem exit, as well. Drove around for a bit, wasn't getting in the right place, had to call my sister - which is the last thing a new mother needs while they're frantically trying to get their baby ready for his big day at church - so, in addition, to my idiotic driving/navigation skills, I was beating myself up for inconveniencing my sister with my call for help!

I had to work at 8:00 one day and I knew that (at least, at one time). I went out for a bike ride at 7:00. I biked for a while with my friend, but then she had to return home for something - this should've been a "trigger" to me, to get me thinking, "Is there anything I need to get home for?" Nope. Instead, I decided I should try to ride the whole distance (18K) of the bike part for my upcoming Triathlon after she went home. So, I did. And I arrived home at 8:20 and Matt asks me, "Don't you have to work anymore?" CRAP! I totally forgot. I have now been placed on "Initial Progressive Guidance." How can I be so dumb?

And finally, for that same Baptism I mentioned earlier, my sister had asked me to make a specific Crab Pasta salad that the Baptism boy special requested for the lunch to follow. I shopped for the ingredients two days before, I made the salad the day before and put it in the fridge to "chill" and allow for flavor enhancement, and then the DAY OF, I made it all the way to the Point of the Mountain before I realized I HAD NOT BROUGHT THE SALAD with me! "You've GOT to be kidding!" I screamed at myself as I drove the car. What in the world is going on with me? It was too late to turn around & get it and still make the Baptism, so I went ahead empty handed. They were counting on that salad. Now what was I going to do with all that salad? Anyone like crab pasta salad? Call me. SO, SO, SO MAD at myself!!! (But, maybe this distraction attributes to my forgetting I was going to see Kyle at the church!)

Like I said before, I am NOT like this -- at least, I didn't used to be! And it's freakin' me out!

Bring on the Sudoku! (I've heard it has Alzheimer's reversal effects)

Bring on the Ginko Biloba!

Or, maybe I should just get more sleep!

Any other suggestions....or explanations?!?

We've Been "Chalked!"

But, I'd say that's certainly better than being robbed!

Here are the results of someone's anonymous "Act of Kindness."

Although, it wasn't so "anonymous" afterall. We foiled their plan to do it all quietly as our family slept inside our [unlit] home late Saturday Night. Because, in reality, we were NOT inside, but were returning home, way PAST all our children's bedtime, and caught them right in the act as we approached our driveway! :) As we were coming up the street, we saw a half a dozen or so Young Adults gathered in our driveway and we didn't know WHAT THE HECK was going on! Were they choosing that spot to do/deal drugs? Or was a big "confrontation" amongst them about to take place? Or were they getting ready to egg our home? Were they waiting for us... to beat us up?

Matt rolled down his window as he pulled in next to them, ready to tell them to, "SCRAM!" I even think he was about to YELL something like, "Get outta HERE!" (that would've been a History-making moment!) But, then we recognized a couple of the girls, and one of them confessed, in her sweet, innocent voice, "Oh, dang! We wanted to surprise you! We were almost done." We proceded on into the garage and went inside to leave them alone to finish the "job." ;)

I chuckled at this one when I saw it...
They had written ALL of our children's names on the driveway: Ryan, Kyle, Haylee, & Katelyn, but apparently they couldn't remember Brookelle's name, (since EVERYONE always tells me "it's so different") but they included her anyway! :)

Is this the "new" Toilet Papering?

The Moment of Truth

I got a letter in the mail.

It's from the Driver License Division.

Uh Oh...

It's a "Courtesy Driver License Renewal notice."

Apparently, I have reached the MAXIMUM number of years allowed to renew my D. L. by mail.

Oh, no.

THIS YEAR I am required to appear IN PERSON at a D. L. examining office.

And, at minimum, I will have to blah, blah, blah and complete a new application AND have my photo taken (I just skimmed over some things since these are the two that have sent me into a panic!!!)

OH CRAP!


You see, I have managed to avoid this for quite some time. In fact, I have a Driver License that probably looks like no one else's from my state. I just don't have the "OLD" one, I have the "OLD, OLD" design of license...yes - they have changed the look of our State's license TWICE since I've gotten one. And I don't like the new look. PLUS, I have enjoyed living with all the "false" info & photo that is on my current D. L. When I renewed last time, I was seriously 8 months pregnant with Kyle and when I asked, they told me I should not put my current weight on the application (since it was "temporary" - HA! So much they knew.) They told me to write down my "pre-pregnancy" weight or just to leave it the same as my previous license. So, I took their suggestion, of course! I have been driving around with a license that has my weight from when I was 24 yrs. old on it - for the last 15 years!! And, amazingly, considering my great-with-child state I was in, the photo may have been my best D. L. photo of the three that I've ever had - way better than I could produce now, that's for sure!

Now, can you understand WHY I am not embracing this opportunity?!?

I've been trying to formulate a plan in my mind....Is it possible to get back down to my 24-yr. old weight in the next 8 weeks, so I can keep the same number? How about I just don't weigh myself between now & then so I can honestly say, "I don't know my weight." And then on that day that I appear IN PERSON, I'll just "guess" - and by default, I would most likely "guess" the weight that I've gotten used to seeing on my D. L. during the last 15 years. Can I just enter my "happy weight?" Or would that make me unidentifiable? I could just "meet in the middle" (of actual & "happy weight") with my number. Or go more towards the low-middle. Or low-low-middle. Or would 20-30 lbs. under my actual weight be more believable/acceptable? Maybe I'll just put the actual weight, I mean how many people really look at my license anyway? Only the cops, and TSA, and airport crewmembers, and grocery store clerks, and bank tellers, and people who find my lost wallet at the Ball Park, and MY KIDS who snoop around in my stuff...Okay, THEY could be the most damaging witnesses of all...it'd for sure come up in a future Home Teaching visit. Or in school. Or amongst their friends while engaging in a "one up" conversation - it'd give a whole new meaning to the classic My-Mom-is-bigger-than-yours banter! Can't have THAT! How many other people LIE about their weight on their license? Is leaving it blank an option? They don't have a scale there and force you to stand on it, do they? If not, I could literally write down ANY number I wanted, right? But, I'm such a "rule follower." Hmmm...

Well, whatever it is I do about the weight thing,

there's NOTHING I can do about the photo!

DOUBLE CRAP!!

What Makes a Cool Parent

A while ago, one of my other friends made a post about how her teenage daughter informed her that she did not consider them "cool." This, of course, got me thinking about my own teenager's opinion of HIS parents (that's Me & Matt!) So, the best way to find out was to flat out ask...

Here's how the conversation went down:

Me: "Do you think Dad & I are cool?"
Ryan: "Sure!"
I'm feeling pretty good, now, thinking we don't have the "problem" that our friend has, UNTIL he adds on something more...
Ryan: "BUT, some of my friend's parents are A LOT cooler!"
And then he can't stop - just POURIN' the salt in the wound...
Ryan: "In fact, I'd say in comparison, - they're WAY cooler than YOU!"

I wanted proof.

"Like who?" I demanded.

Like Dane. And Kennedy. And Jared, Russell, & Dathan. And don't forget Lizzy, Tyler, Calvin, & Kat. And for sure Grey, Nate, & Conner.

Hmmmm...

So, just in case you're wondering (as I was) just WHAT makes a parent, "cool" - I got the low-down from Ryan:

• One of his friend's parents once paid Ryan $5.00 just to sit in his chair at a community event (since she didn't have one.) So, if you want to be "cool," parents should give their child(ren) money to get favors/service out of them.
• Treat children like royalty. Think they are ALL THAT. Laugh at everything they ever say. Remind them how brilliant everything they ever do is. Feed their ego. Act like the world revolves around them!
• Become a crazed, infatuated-with-Edward, fanatic and actually READ the Twilight series. And by READ, that means like in ONE day....and READ past the 1st book - as in ALL OF THEM! And then, see the movie a handful of times in the theater...and then, buy the DVD, of course.
• Be available to drive your child everywhere and anywhere at a moment's notice. And you never say, "I can't right now, the baby's asleep."
• Buy them their own cell phone AND pay for the monthly bill (with unlimited minutes, texts, usage.)
• Let them go out every Friday AND Saturday night (or whenever they please) with no limits or babysitting requirements.
• Pay them at least $25/week allowance.
• Allow them to invite all the friends they want to a Birthday Party at Boondocks.
• Always give them "ideas" on how to do their homework (READ "do it for them.")
• Be completely CAREFREE.
• Buy them Lagoon season passes.
• Be in a movie.
• Totally be into computer/tech "stuff."
• Be funny - tell jokes.
• Always have gum on hand to share.
• Be a U of U season ticket holder (with extras so you can always invite a friend!)
• Act young.
• Play football in the hall at church with them.
• Talk to them well past their bedtime (and well into your "alone time") with no enforcement of them needing to go to bed.
• Talk about cool "stuff."
• Have a "cool" employment history, like being a Jailer, a Fireman (in Park City), or a Lawyer.
• Own guns and hunt a lot (and then have "cool" hunting stories.)
• Buy illegal fireworks in Wyoming to use on the 4th of July
• Always ask them if they need $$$, and give it to them.
• Coach all their children's teams.
• Take them to Major League Baseball games all over.
• (For Moms) Go outside & play basketball with them & their friends [and do so skillfully].
• Clean their rooms for them.
• Act Nice
• Don't ground them, scold them, or punish them.
• Let them spend the whole summer "veg"-ing out in the cool, dark basement with all-you-can-watch T.V. privileges, all-you-can-eat snacks, and without doing any work whatsoever.

I told him I'm not trying to be "COOL," I am trying to be his PARENT.