Hello! McFly!

My [brilliant] firstborn came upstairs the other night - right around the time when things are suppose to be [finally] winding down, the kids are in bed asleep, or at least they're not seen by me and I have a moment to breathe - and he declared,

"Ummm, I think I have a problem."

As he held out his arm to show us the damage.

He had a plastic piece of one of my other children's money bank stuck - SUCTIONED rather - to his arm!
OK - first off....WHY does he feel the need to dissect banks? And toys, contents of drawers, garbage cans, and a myriad of other household objects for that matter. Why can't he just LEAVE. THINGS. ALONE. (and nice & neat & clean and in pristine condition. OK, so maybe that's too lofty of a wish).
And secondly....WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
Probably something along the lines of "I wonder what would happen if I put a 10-inch in diameter plastic tube on my 12-inch in diameter bare skin arm?"
And then he definitely found out.
We were tugging and pulling and twisting -- all with no luck.
We used water and Vaseline and Pam cooking spray -- and it wouldn't budge.

I worried if it would cut off all circulation to his arm and would lead to his arm self-detaching.

His Dad, unamused, informed him, "This is the kind of thing that will land you in the E.R."
And I'm thinking, Oh great, that's all I need. I was just settling down for the evening!
Ryan was only mildly embarrassed with all his dad's inquiries about his intelligence.

I started to brainstorm of all the people I knew who had Power Tools that could be used in the emergency removal of this foreign object that refused to come off his arm.

At one point, his dad instructed him to stand opposite of him, facing him, hold his arm out straight in front of him, put his hand in a fist against Matt's stomach. Then Matt pulled down on the bank piece his direction and Ryan leaned back the other way.
The tube didn't budge - it looked like it might, but it didn't.
But Ryan did exclaim, "Man, Dad, you've got Abs of Steel!" (Pretty remarkable for Ryan to say that considering all the non-compliments he'd just been getting from his Dad!)
Since the previous procedure looked so promising while I'd been observing it, I decided to repeat it, but this time with ME on the opposite side of Ryan, pulling it down with his fist bracing against MY bowl-full of jelly stomach. I didn't get it off either.
And incidentally, I received NO comments from Ryan, so I went ahead and asked him, "So, do I have Abs of Steel?"
To which he responded, "Not so much!"

Eventually, we did get it off - at home. Thanks to the commotion that brought our quiet evening to a halt, Katelyn came out of her room and gave us an idea to try which did the trick!

Ryan NEVER was able to come up with an explanation as to WHY he did it, however.

So I Can Get Rid of Paper Clutter and So You Can Smile

When I clean out, I find lots of things I've saved...including some cute emails.
I figure if I post them here, I can toss the "hard copy." (And get one step closer to the ever-elusive clean home!?! I could write a whole post on that subject...another day, another time.)

MY FOOTSTEPS
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument; "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"


A WISE LITTLE GIRL
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The minister spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."


TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"


THUMB SUCKING
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.
Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench.
The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh...I know what you've been doing."


THE LORD'S PRAYER
A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptations," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."


SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?
A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


THE PRESSED LEAF
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things - April '10 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Matt & I were at a restaurant with Ryan where we had to spend a minimum of $50 in order to use a $25 gift certificate we had, so we ordered drinks, a couple of appetizers, our own meals [off the "adult" menu], add-ons, and dessert. As we were driving away...
Ryan: "Wow! For the first time in my life, I feel like my family is rich!" 4/10

Kyle: "What happens if you eat fat?"
Me: "You get fat."
Katelyn: "If you get fat, you have to have a baby!" 4/10

Haylee's 8th Birthday was coming up, so we were having a discussion about whether 8 yr. olds were considered "Big Kids" or still "Little Kids." (I said it depends on how they act!) But, it got the age groups on her mind....
Haylee: "I know how it goes; Newborn, Infant, Toddler, Little Kid, Big Kid, Teenager, Grown Up, Grandma, Old Person, DEAD!" 4/10

Katelyn knew that Mon & Dad had gone and played soccer...
Katelyn: "Who won?"
Me: "The other team."
Katelyn: (disgusted) "WHAT?!?"
Me: "They were better."
Katelyn; "Mom, you need to practice!" (pause) "From Dad!" 4/10

We have a children's Animal Encyclopedia and Katelyn was looking at the cow page. There were pictures of the different breeds of cattle...
Katelyn: (pointing to a brown Hereford bull) "That one makes chocolate milk!" 4/10
(actually they're used as beef cattle, but I won't burst her bubble.)

Katelyn went to the Dr. for her "Kindergarten check-up" and shots. She complained about going, but I told her that the Dr. had to sign her Kindergarten papers stating she was well enough or else she couldn't go to school. So, she stopped complaining. At the appointment...
Dr: "Do you watch T.V. or play video games?"
Katelyn: (nods her head) "Yes." (quietly)
Dr: (to me) "Do you think she does it too much?"
Me: "We don't have video games, but T.V.? Yes!"
Dr: (looks at Katelyn with a concerned face, then documents her record)
Then the conversation between Dr. & patient goes on to other topics. When the Dr. leaves the room...
Me: "Did you notice that the Dr. asked about watching T.V.?"
Katelyn: (looking sheepish) "Yes, Why did she?"
Me: "She needs to know all about you. Too much T.V. is not healthy!"
Katelyn: "Am I still going to be able to go to Kindergarten or not?" 4/10

I Caught my Husband Sleeping with his Girlfriend!

I'm a very jealous woman!

He says "she" was just warming up my side of the bed for me! Uhh huh, I believe him. ;)

Approaching the Big Day

I'm trying to be like Jesus;
I'm following in his ways.
I'm trying to love as he did,

in all that I do and say.

Haylee will enter "the straight & narrow path" this Saturday when she gets baptized.

We had a great day at Temple Square taking [153] pictures...drawing some looks and a few
compliments from passersby.

We were also watching the brides there that day - 5 to be exact (Haylee was counting!)

Haylee was very enchanted by the brides.

I told her that would be her next white dress to wear.

She was really admiring those brides.

I asked her if she'd like to get her picture taken with one of them, since she was so interested. I told her I would ask their permission.

She declined. She thought the brides wouldn't want to be bothered by her.

Instead, she settled for posing for a shot in one of the famous bride picture taking spots...

What do YOU think?

Would a bride have agreed to pose for a photo with an adoring 8 yr. old girl?

We topped it off by stopping at Costco on the way home for a churro and a smoothie.

Gotta Love It!

Our Streak of Luck is Definately Over

Another Annual Credit Union Meeting.

More high hopes of a big winnings REPEAT FOURPEAT.

I think our good fortune two years (and 3 & 4 years) ago conditioned us to expect it. Which, is proving to be unrealistic.

We thought last year was bad with only $45 and 3 winners.

But, THIS YEAR....only 1 winner....




Our "Disney Cruise Fund" isn't amounting to much with THAT!

More boo hoo-ing around here. :(
But, it could be worse ($0) so I shouldn't complain. Who am I kidding? That crappy [unsolicited] advise is the kind that would come from an "Adult" that no one (I) wants to hear.

******

And to add insult to injury, Ryan just found out he was not appointed to Office at the Jr. High. Tack that one onto this post I made a while back.

CONGRATULATIONS! You Just Made the Blog.

Haylee...

{What do I expect when I leave it hanging on my bathroom doorknob?}

Adventures in Sleep Studies: Part A

Remember how I thought I was losing my mind?

Well, last summer, I read a magazine article about Bioidentical Hormones and how they are helping people. There was this checklist of symptoms to determine if one may be a good candidate for this treatment.
That checklist described ME!
The top two things on the list were Forgetfulness and Brain Fog.
They had my attention now.
Then there were other symptoms that also applied:
Fatigue
Waking up in the morning tired
irritability
weight gain
low energy

So, I began my search for a doctor who believed in/would prescribe these Bioidentical Hormones - and would CHANGE my life.
I found one and had an appointment several months ago. In a nutshell, she wasn't convinced that hormones were a problem for me. In fact, I think she wondered WHY I even came!
So, I left that appointment with no prescription, but with homework - GREAT!
She had me track all my symptoms for 3 months. 3 MONTHS! And had me fill out a complete Mental Health Assessment. Then come in for blood work.
I did it all - in hopes that I'd get those Bioidentical hormones and my mind back!

Anyway...the results came back and the net of it is, she gave me an A+ in hormones. What an acheivement! :) The only significant thing she found was that I tested VERY postive for Sleep Disorders.
She asked me about that.
I told her going to bed at 11:00 P.M. would be considered EARLY for me. I also mentioned I get 3-7 hours of sleep each night.
She asked me why that was.
Well, I have "STUFF" to do, and I don't have a nanny, an "Alice" (from Brady Bunch) or a Mother who does it for me.
She said she "gets it."
But, she wanted to have me do a Sleep Study. A Sleep Study? Those are for people with Sleep Apnea and major snoring problems! And I don't snore - except for during the 9th month of pregnancy - as reported to me by my husband, who has opted to sleep somewhere else those 5 times. (Unlike myself who has stayed by HIS side through 187 months of SERIOUS snoring & nighttime noises!)
The Dr. gave me the choice of a "home study" or going into the Sleep Center.
I, of course, opted for the Home Study.
I had to go to the Sleep Institute of Utah and pick up an oximeter.

Getting it was all very specific. I had to make an appointment to pick it up. And the pick up window of time was only 1 hour and 45 minutes - on certain days. And I had to pick it up the same day I would do the study because it had to be returned the next day. And it wasn't available every day since other patients are checking it out, too...
It was all too complicated and I hadn't even started the official "study" yet!
Then to add to the exactness of it all, they made me sign a form when I got the oximeter that I would have to pay $187 for every day that I didn't bring it back! AND I had to get at least 6 hours of sleep for this study!
The anxiety started to bud...
6 hours. That's towards the high end of my norm. Wonder if I don't make it?
I didn't do my normal "STUFF" that night and went to bed EARLY instead - at 10:30p.m. so I could get that magic 8 hours of sleep.
And I try not to think about the "STUFF" I didn't do.

They give me some tape to secure the oximeter to my finger, but the instructions warn against having it too tight since it may cut off circulation and prevent an accurate reading.
I put it on. It definately feels too insecure. I worry it will fall off during the night. I wrap one piece of tape around it. Still not snug - still worried it could fall off.
I put on another piece of tape.
It feels better.
But, if 2 pieces are good, 3 are better, right?
Put on 3 pieces.
I worry it's too tight.
Take off one piece. Back down to 2.
Go back to one.
Definitely not going to work.
Put both pieces of tape back on.
And try to go to sleep.
It kind of feels like my finger/hand is throbbing.
Am I cutting off circulation?
Will they get an accurate reading?
Will I ever be able to fall asleep if I'm thinking about my throbbing finger with an oximeter attached to it?
I take off the 2nd and 3rd pieces of tape - FINAL DECISION!

The anxiety is developing more...
I wonder if that trace of fingernail polish left on my nail is going to interfere with the results?
I lay there in bed wondering if I should go get some polish remover.
But, I'm suppose to be asleep! Getting up would not look good on the reading.
I stay in bed. On my back. With the arm hooked up to the oximeter perfectly straight down my side. This is NOT how how I normally sleep.
I want to turn on my left side like normal, but the oximeter is on my right hand and the machine base thingy is on my nightstand on my right. I worry if I turn, I will pull it off the nightstand - or the weight of the base will yank the monitor off my finger.
I lay there and think of other possible sleeping positions...instead of sleeping.

I try to plan out my day for the next day, so I can make sure to return the oximeter and avoid the $187 late fee.
I lay on my right side, so as not to pull on the cord. This usually makes my arm go numb.
Back to sleep on my back.
I look at the clock. Can I still get >6 hours of sleep?
I can if I can fall asleep BEFORE Matt and all his snoring/snorting!
I'm gonna have to hurry and fall asleep or else it'll be too late for that!
The pressure is on even more. The anxiety building....

So, while concentrating on falling asleep before Matt, wondering if my finger is wrapped up too tight - or too loose, trying to ingrain it into my brain NOT to FORGET to return the machine the next day, getting enough sleep, getting a "good score," wondering if I'm doing it all right - I did all the opposite!
The anxiety mode overpowered the relaxation mode...

And when I did sleep, I dreamt of late fees, insufficient hours of sleep, my children coming in and turning off the machine in the middle of the night, the batteries going out, etc. etc. Those kind of dreams SUCK!

I woke up with a "Morning Headache" and feeling tired.
But, I DID manage to return the oximeter on time!

Needless to say, they called me back. After getting the results, my Dr. has ordered a sleep study for me. As in overnight - as in at their center.
Oh boy, if I thought the one in my own bed was pretty difficult -

I'm in for a RUDE AWAKENING!

(pun intended.)

So, This is Spring Break?

{The scene of our car outside our hotel door}

No wonder we've always opted to go to St. George for Spring Break in the past! :)

First Child Syndrome

I was reminded today of how funny [READ: fanatic, extreme, psycho] I was about my first child.

It all started with me just looking for some extra party invitations I needed that I may or may not have stored in a file cabinet drawer.
The drawer was hard to open and tread through because it was full of....well, stuff [READ: junk].
So, in an attempt to find party invitations, I started going through ALL the contents of the drawer.
And I found a TON of artwork that I had saved from Ryan's earliest "budding artist" days.
Most of which I had forgotten about and never looked at again.

Also, with most of it I tried hard to figure out WHY I had saved it.

Case in Point: Just look at this FINE piece of pottery.

And WHY have I saved this Halloween wreath with real candy corn? (most of which have fallen off and disappeared to who knows where, but they weren't in the file drawer.) I don't want to even think about the creatures that may have enjoyed those!

Ya gotta feel sorry for this clown/robot/jack-in-the-box with his missing eye, detached leg, and crumpled hat. For some reason, I thought it was worthy to save. (It must be the soft spot I have for the "underdog.")

Now, this drawing is just SO impressive!

I mean, it just doesn't get much better than this work of art...notice it's "colorfulness!"

And, look! I must've been so proud at his first words written...

(Do you know HOW MANY similar papers I have thrown away in the years since then that my other kids have written letters/words/their name on? Hundreds!)Now, this one IS quite interesting.....a drawing of his family, complete with me having a sword fight with Daddy while holding my little guy, Ryan, AND while being pregnant (notice the circle on my tummy) which Ryan apparently doesn't like, since he drew an "X" through it! Wow! What a talented lady I am! :)

And, THEN I saved four of the exact same pictures! FOUR! WHY? Because I was a gloating first-time parent.

Or maybe to show his progression with coloring.

FIRST, primarily all one-color, drab color choice rendition of dinosaur/butterfly/duck/gremlins scene. (Is there such a scene?)

SECOND, still mostly all one-color, but a more vibrant colored rendition of D/B/D/G.

THIRD, using a different color for many of the creatures of DBDG.

Fourth, using multi-colors on each of the creatures in the Why-didn't-I-even-pick-a-CUTE-scene-to-save?

I wonder what file drawer is housing all my other children's "masterpieces?"

Oh, I know...it's the Sanitary Landfill "file drawer."

And it made it's way there after being displayed on the fridge, closet, or back of the front door in our home for a couple weeks, then into the trash can, and then picked up by our trusty Sanitation Engineers.

Does this mean I don't love the others as much as the first? NO. I just realized now that there will be no shortage of pieces of artwork. And ONE a year is very sufficient to save- and it should be the very best one!

Because, let's face it. There just aren't enough file drawers.

And it's very embarrassing to see what I have hoarded cherished.

Things I also found in that drawer:

• MLS lists and house contracts from our last two houses we bought - in 1996 and 2001. (complete with Farmington houses For Sale at around $150,000! What a bargain!)
• receipts from some "Mystery Shopping" I did 10 or so years ago.
• University of Phoenix MBA program info/application that Matt had sent for/been interested in 10 years ago.
• Benefits package brochures and details from an old job Matt had 10+ yrs. ago.
• A "How to use the Internet" booklet from when we first got it about 12 years ago.
• 4 Gospel Art pictures that have been MIA for...ummm, let me guess, probably 10 years! (I'm very happy about this find!)

Pretty scary to think how long the very depths of that drawer have been neglected! :{

So, 2 hours later, I never did find any party invitations, but I have a cleaned out file drawer!