Compelled to Spill the Beans

TONIGHT (just ONE DAY AFTER last night's "closed lip" incident, mind you) while I was in my office working, I heard my son come in for the evening and say to his dad, "So, about tonight..."  

My first thought was, No way!  Was he involved in another accident tonight?  (I hadn't even had a chance to tell my husband about the first accident!)  Sometimes, it's like that, ya know?  For y'all, too, right?!?  Hello?
So, I took a break from work at my next opportunity and came out and asked my husband, "Did Kyle have another incident tonight?"
To which he replied, "Another???  When was the other?"  hahaha.  So, I filled him in on the one from yesterday, then he called Kyle up to fill me in on tonight's.

It turns out, it was NOT another car accident.  As in a crash, but.....

Kyle and his friends went to McDonald's.  As they were leaving McDonald's, the car Kyle was in drove by "Female friend 1" [same one from yesterday], who was walking out in the parking lot, so Kyle threw his drink cup, that had water/ice in it, out the window at her.  (I don't know WHY???  To be funny?  'Cause it's not funny.)

WELL......there just happened to be a cop behind them who saw this and he immediately turned on his flashing lights and pulled over their car.  The cop asked WHAT HE WAS DOING.  He told him he was just messing around with his friend back there, SIR.  Then the cop gave him a lecture about littering and respecting women/girls.  He then asked for Kyle's name and phone number, then asked for his dad's name and phone number!


The news spread like wild fire through texts/social media and Kyle started getting all these texts with people commenting and asking questions!  ;)

And here's the kicker: it was the SAME COP from the night before at the accident!  Kyle is not sure if the cop recognized him since he didn't say anything, though.

Kyle did come home and immediately told his dad about this one, and then later me - better for us to hear it from him since he knew we'd find out anyway since the cop had his dad's contact info!  (BTW, Matt never got a phone call!)  So, we've figured out how to make Kyle start yakkety-yak-ing: a cop's scare tactics!  ;)

Close Lipped Kyle

Last night, Kyle went out with some friends.  I knew he got picked up from our house by his two friends, "Friend 1" and "Friend 2."  But, then later, at the end of the night, when he texted asking if I could come pick him up, he was at "Friend 3's" house.
While I was driving him home, I was asking questions about his evening, curious as to why he was no longer with "Friend 1" and "Friend 2" who he started off with, and how he ended up at someone else's house.

Me: "So, you guys just decided to go over to 'Friend 3's' house?"
Him: "Ya."
Me:  "All three of you?  'Friend 1,' 'Friend 2,' and you?"
Him: "Well, I think 'Friend 1' went home."
Me: "And 'Friend 2?'"
Him: "He must've walked home." (he lives closer to this kid)
Me: "Just now or earlier in the evening?"
Him: "Just a little earlier."
Me: "So, did 'Friend 3' call you and invite you over, or did you guys just show up?"
Him: "We just decided to go over there."
Me: "Did you go there right after they picked you up, or did you do something else first?"
Him: "Almost right after."
Me: "So, what did you do when your friends very first picked you up from our home?"
Him: "Well, first we went driving around."
Me: "Driving around where?"
Him: "Well, we were going over to see 'Female Friend 1' at her house."
Me: "And, did you?"
 
We talked for about 5 whole minutes about what happened (which wasn't totally making sense to me, thus, LOTS of questions) BEFORE he finally [and casually] mentioned that "Friend 1," the driver of the car he was in, got into an accident while they were on their way to "Female Friend 1's" house - towards the beginning of the night!!! 

(Everyone was OKAY).
Did he just experience a "slip of the mind" about the accident during my previous 20 QUESTIONS, or what?!?  ;) 
The cops came to the scene to fill out an accident report and everything.  (And they did test "Female Friend 1" to come outside...to see them, BTW.) Then, "Friend 1" had to go home to face "the wrath of his mother" whose nice car he happened to be driving.  And, that's why Kyle was no longer with him, and was at "Friend 3's" house instead - "Friend 1's" evening out with friends was over, and he had to drop them off somewhere else.

Had I not had an "inquiring mind," he maybe wouldn't have even "disclosed" that slight, little detail of the evening!  It's just one of my many roles in my "job description" as a Mom: INVESTIGATOR.

What a contrast, though, he is to his older brother who, at times, was too much of a chatterbox - in fact, we actually have had to say, "Stop talking" to him sometimes in the past.  Whereas, Kyle tries to get away with as few words as possible - as if he believes he only has a limited number of words in his lifetime, and he doesn't want to use them all up too early!  ;) 

Paint the Town Red

The missionary care package I did for July was RED.

THIS was the one I have been looking forward to doing the WHOLE time!  Red things are found in abundance!  Ryan has ALWAYS loved the Utah Utes and U of U = RED!  He also is fond of cherry anything!  Plus, I've had some "RED" catch phrases swimming around in my mind to use!

So, without further ado....

{the contents}

(you might not think those "black" pencils don't belong with this month's package based on their outward appearance, BUT they are actually RED scripture marking pencils that he can give out to people or use himself.)

{the packed and ready-to-ship box}

 (I have a feeling it will probably be his favorite one yet!)

The four red flaps say:

"You are an incREDible missionary"

"Go ye into all the [WVCH mission] and preach the Gospel to every.....kindred, tongue, and REDneck!"  :)  hahahaha.  (That's a reaction he got from others before he left, and that I get here at home still, but it is not necessarily Ryan's opinion, who is actually there!  But, I couldn't resist using the word, "RED" in that context!)

"We hope you have many 'RED LETTER DAYS' this transfer!" 

"Enjoy (or endure) your 'RED HOT' (& humid) Summer!"  ;) 

********************************

To see past missionary care packages, click HERE. 

Old Girlfriends

I have a group of girlfriends who have been going out to lunch together consistently for many years - maybe 7-ish+ years?  We go out for all our birthdays, or in "someone needs cheering up" circumstances, or because some eating establishment is having a "freebie" deal.  Do we really need an excuse?  But, regrettable (and unacceptably), we don't have any photos of these occasions!

Well, most recently, we went to a restaurant for one of our friend's July birthdays and we got seated close by another table full of elderly ladies who caught my attention.  (As always, that's the observant, people-watcher in me!)

 

{Note: not the actual group, but very similar to this.}

I turned to my own group of ladies whom I was with, motioned my head in their direction, and said, "Look!  That will be us in 30 years!"

We all smiled, and chuckled, and stared at them for a moment. (I hope they didn't notice and think we were rude....ah, who am I kidding?  They were too involved with each other, gabbing away, having a delightful time!)

We all said, "I hope so!"  

At least none of them informed me, "Uh, Suzanne....that is a mirror!"  ;) haha.   

The "Calm, Cool, and Collected" Alternative

The other night at Cub Scout Pack Meeting, I saw a tremendous example of parenting/handling a "Spirited Child." ;)  (i.e. fiery, hyper, nervy, catch my drift?)  In the moment, it made me go, "Wow!"  Since then, it has left me thinking about it a lot - I want to be more like her.

There is a boy who attends our cub scout pack meetings (and used to be in my specific den for a short time) who, admittedly, I have kind of tagged as, "difficult."  He happened to be in my daughter's school class, as well, and she says that the teacher/students also have similar impressions of him.  I know, we shouldn't "label."  I have witnessed several things that have influenced my feelings... 
I have seen him throwing temper tantrums to get his way. 
I have observed how he acts with other kids; pushy, aggressive, obnoxious, reckless.
One time, in a different pack meeting, when another boy was being "spotlighted," this particular cub scout stood up and loudly verbalized his disagreement with an accomplishment that had been shared about the spotlighted boy.  During his protest, he was pointing at the kid, face turning red, and then told how he himself was better than the spotlighted boy.  (It was one of those times where I was sitting there thinking, "Oh my word, is THIS really happening?")  
At school, my daughter says how he has these moments where "he's about to explode" and the kids are always trying to do "damage control" to stop or get out of these situations when they're happening.
I know!  Labeling is a no-no.  This is what happens when you're a perceptive, discerning, people-watcher like myself!  I put all the pieces together and come up with a description.  I need a change of attitude; to always think THE BEST of everyone.  But, if the shoe fits..... 

Anyway, back to the pack meeting the other night.  Recently, the cub scout program has all changed.  Our cub committee chairman (who happens to be the above mentioned boy's mother) was standing up front explaining, in an optimistic, enthusiastic way, some of the changes, including the pins that the Webelos scouts earn for finishing their requirements now.  This boy piped up and loudly "informed" us all that the old pins were way cooler than the new pins; that the new pins were, in fact, lame!  He also broadcast in his know-it-all voice that the whole old program, in general, is better than the new one and because of that, he is going to do the old program, still. (implying that anyone who pursues the new program is dumb!) 

When this happened, I got all concerned that the other scouts, especially the younger ones, were going to be swayed by his negative words and not be satisfied with, or worse, despise cub scouts going forward.  
I wanted to put my hand over his mouth so he couldn't say anything else and cause any more wreckage.  
I, instinctively, thought a reprimanding for his public [mis]behavior was in order, as well.  
I wished we could "rewind" that incident and strike it from that Pack Meeting record.

That's because my impulses precede my "calm, cool, & collected" abilities.  (IF I have any!)

But, luckily, our cub committee chairman and his mother has honed her skills in dealing with him.  She calmly waited until he was done with his rant, then she "educated" him.  She plainly stated, "OK, that is an opinion."  And it was HIS opinion.  And other's may have and are welcome to their own opinion; and that the others may really like the new pins, and even think they're, in fact, cooler.  She pointed out that he is very "loyal" to the old program and we can work on becoming more "loyal" to the new program.  

That immediately shushed him.

And then she continued her explanation (because she was interrupted by him before) of some of the details regarding the new pins, including a new feature and symbolism of them which were special and exclusive to the new program.  

To which her son (apparently having "seen the light" now) asked, "Can I get those?"

To which she answered, "No.  You are staying with the old program, remember?"  ;)  hahaha.

ANYWAY, I thought that was so notable!  When my children (or someone else) are argumentative, or opposing, or dispute everything I say, or speaks against whatever it is, INSTEAD OF basically telling them to "keep their trap shut," I can simply point out that what they are saying is "an opinion."
Because it is.  That's ALL it is.  And opinions are not right or wrong.  I like that approach for dealing with the "difficult."  I'm grateful for examples I have out there, and the lesson I learned that evening.

OK.  Practice:
"That is an opinion."
"That is your opinion."   
"Others may have a different opinion."
"That is an opinion."
That is your opinion."
"Others may have a different opinion."
"That is an opinion."

Did you know you have to hear/see/repeat something 7 times before you remember it?!?  ;) 

Out on the Town All by Myself

I was starting to feel the *hate* part of my "Love-Hate Relationship" with Summer Vacation a little too much lately, so.......I've been pondering on a solution.

The part that I *hate* is that all my kids think that they're on vacation - from EVERYTHING!!!  (i.e. getting dressed, general grooming, reading or anything intellectual, sleep routines, eating properly, or basically LIFTING A FINGER TO DO ANYTHING.)

They all have a list of things that they are suppose to do every day, that would take about an hour to 1:15 (depending on how well they are able to stay on task, and how much daily maintenance they're actually doing), BEFORE they are able to do anything else.

So, this is how it's been going.....
They haven't been completing their lists which means they haven't been doing anything.

Here's their mentality:
Oh well, I guess I won't go play with any friends today....because I don't want to do any chores.
I guess I'll miss the Summer "field trips" we've planned....because I don't feel like doing any of my chores.
I guess I won't have any screen time (at least not when mom & dad are watching) today....because I don't like doing chores.
Oh darn, someone invited me to do something fun with them, but I had to say, "No"....because I "forgot" that I should be doing my chores. (wink, wink)

REALLY?!?  Come on, people!  It's ONE HOUR of duty for the rest of the day of freedom!  You can't figure it out?

Apparently not.

So, I came up with a brilliant idea!  And I ran it by Matt, and he agreed.

I announced that from now on, I will be going out for a treat every day after I get off work and get ready (so around noon, after lunch).  Those who have ALL of their check marks done will go with me.  Those who do not, will not.  (And I will do random inspections to verify that it was REALLY done instead of them just "fibbing" their check marks....not that these angels would EVER do that, but I like to be "thorough" ya know.)  {chuckle}
But, no matter what, I am going.

In order to make the Where Should We Go? conundrum easier, I made a list of many choices, with a number beside each one.  Each day, we will roll three dice, add up the sum of all of them, and match that answer up with the corresponding number on our list.  And then that's where I will go that day - and I will continue this every day for the rest of the Summer - the only variable will be WHERE and WHO.  The girls got really excited about this list and started to fantasize about all these places.

Well, evidently, they spent too much time fantasizing (i.e. general poor time management) because on that first day, NO ONE was done with their check list at the appointed time, and I made that first treat run ALL BY MYSELF. (gasp!  I was so surprised! haha).  Luckily, they got their act together and 3 out of the 4 children got to go with me today!

I realize this could get really expensive, really quick - have you heard of "The Latte Factor?" - so I fought my inspiration for a while....

But, desperate times call for desperate measures!

AND, I'm counting on them succombing to their old, usual mentalities sometimes, too, and not getting to go!  
Because I'm kind of fine with going out by myself, too.  
(peace & quiet is needed even more during Summer Vacation!  haha.)  ;) 

One Month of Summer - Gone!?!

June is over and done with. 

This fact created a little bit of panic with my children....it means one month of Summer down, only two(ish) to go. 

[In case my kids accuse us of "not doing anything"] Here's what's happened:

Matt's Birthday!

Family Vacation to Aruba!

Big Brothers torturing loving on little sisters!

Band aids....lots of band aids!

 Cousins!

Father's Day!

{Artists: Haylee, Katelyn, & Brookelle}

The Official First-Day-of-Summer celebration!

....complete with ice cream for dinner 

and opening a present (Summer-y wardrobe additions).

Swim lessons for Brookelle!

(she's in the blue swimsuit, furthest away in the photo)


Kyle attended a "Family History" themed Youth Conference with our ward the 25th-27th and had a great experience.

He also got to "sky dive" (iFly) as part of their Super Activity.  ;)

Scout day camps for Matt (in charge of the 11 yr. old scouts) & I (in charge of Bears cub scouts) up Millcreek Canyon in East Salt Lake City.

{view from the hike}

Our family went to this production of "Savior of the World"

Ladies Bear Lake Getaway!

{meanwhile the kids had a blast at home without mom making them to do their chores ;)}

I also found out that applying sunscreen to mostly the front of your legs, and hardly on the back, 

then floating on a raft (laying on my tummy) for two hours on the lake DOES NOT provide adequate protection...and it not a good idea!

Can you say BEET RED?

Can you say extremely painful to sit down - or walk?

Can you say half a bottle of Aloe Vera gel used in 3 days?

(Incidentally, the gel caused my clothes to stick to it, then I had to RIP it off my burnt skin - OUCH!!!)

Back in Black

The missionary care package I did for June was BLACK.

{the contents}

When I was thinking about what catchy phrases or advise I could use that contained the word, "black" in them,
I realized that most of them would be inappropriate and unencouraging for a missionary.  ;)

For instance, there's: 

"black as the devil"

"black eye"

"black list"

"black sheep"

"black mark"

"black out"

"black magic"

"black and blue"

"black day"

"The Black Knight"

"blackmail"

See what I mean?...I didn't have much positive stuff to work with - so I had to do more thinking!

Here's what I came up with.

{the packed and ready-to-ship box}

The four black flaps say:

"We {heart} our 'Men in BLACK'" 

"White shirts and ties are 'The new BLACK!'"

"Our hero wear a BLACK name tag!"

"P.S. Keep your bank account 'in the black.'"  :)

That last one was kinda a stretch - I've heard rumors that sometimes these young Elders have trouble making their money last the whole month long, so I was just throwing in some counsel - he might not even know what the heck that idiom means, though!  ;)  haha.

********************************

To see past missionary care packages, click HERE.

One Happy Island

My family just spent the last week (Matt) or 5 days (the rest of us) in Aruba! 

{The JOYS of standby flight benefits!} ;)

ARUBA has been on my travel "Bucket List".....and it did not disappoint!

It is [appropriately] nicknamed, "ONE HAPPY ISLAND."

Our Family's FAVES:

1. White, soft, fine, powdery sand (great for sandcastles!)
2.  We stayed/played on Eagle Beach (ranks among the top 10 beaches in the world!) which was so CLEAN (no kelp, no seaweed!)
3.  No peddlers on the beach (can you say, "peace & relaxation?")
4. Crystal clear, warm waters of the Caribbean Sea (with a smooth ocean floor, nothing to hurt your feet on!)
5.  Delicious, safe drinking water (better than where we live!)

Even after Ryan has been out on his mission for 9 months, it's still so weird to look at "my brood" and think to myself, "Who's missing?  This group seems SO small!"  I count them up, and realize all who should be there, ARE there - why does four children seems so much less than five children?!?

And WHILE I was walking along the awesome beach, having an amazing time one day with one of my daughters, she actually [had the gall to] ask me,  
"So, what are we going to do this Summer?"

OH. MY. WORD.
You've got to be kidding, right?!?
Nope.  True Story.
(Needless to say, she heard a thing or two from me!)  ;)

FREE - I'm Free at Last!

Today is the first day AFTER my 8-week Challenge is over.
And I am SO glad.
But, probably not as glad as my husband is!  Both because today is his BIRTHDAY, so I will have no restrictions on this day AND because he thought it put a real damper on his/our lifestyle!  ;)

This "Challenge" consisted of a group of about 50 people, men and women, most of whom I didn't even know who were competing to win in the healthy arena.  Two of my sisters and one brother-in-law were part of this group.  Every day, there were certain things we had to do in order to get a predetermined number of points.  Starting after the first week (the "Baptism by fire"), each week, one category was worth double points, in an effort to start separating the scores.
It took me several days to actually commit to joining the "Challenge."  Because if I say I'm going to do something.....I'M GOING TO DO IT.  Fully.  No flakin' out.
But, I didn't know if I wanted to do it.
Because I had some hang ups about a couple of the requirements.
Here's what we had to do every day:

• Accomplish a personal goal (it could be anything; spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relationships, health, etc.)
• Drink 64 oz. of water
• Stop eating before 9:00 p.m.
• Eat two fruit servings (1/2 cup each)
• Eat three vegetable servings
• NO sweets and NO white flour
• Keep a food journal
• Exercise 30 min. (5 pts.) OR 45 min. (7 pts.)

Can you guess which ones were my hang ups???
I'd already been "accountable" to my Fitbit, getting 10,000 steps every day, for the last 3 1/2 months at the time of starting this challenge, so that was no problem.
Water, 9:00, fruits & vegetables were also NO BIGGIE, I don't mind those at all, it just took more planning on my part sometimes.
The personal goal was suppose to be something that you were not already doing, and would be hard, but very beneficial, for you if you did it.  So, that was a challenge - hence the name of the game, "Challenge," - but I had my scorecard on my desk every day to remind me, sometimes I was literally accomplishing my personal goal in the 11th hour, but I could handle that category, too.
The ones that got me were the white flour - I CAN live on bread alone!  That's exactly WHY I've never been tested for Celiac Disease, even though Haylee's doctor highly recommends it due to me being a first degree relative to a Celiac - I can't handle the truth, if I were. ;)  I love my candy, too, but I can do without - I've done it many times before.
And the food journal - I don't dare eat anything because then I have to write it down!  Uh, THAT'S the exact purpose of it, but what a drag!  ;)

Can you guess which ones were my husband's hang ups?
~Water (he wanted a DDP drinking buddy)
~Eating cutoff time (he thinks he's "hungry" after his after-dinner snack, or wants the freedom of a late-night date)
~Fruits & Vegetables (you mean chips & sandwiches are not a complete balanced meal?)
~NO sweets (but Bowman's has their doughnuts at half-price after 7 PM each night!  And what about the weekends.  And parties/social events.  And Family Night treat.  And birthdays??  And Taco Time is now serving Dole Whip!!)
~NO white flour (what about eating out at restaurants?  They all bring out the bread basket.  Or serve white pasta.  Or flour tortillas.  Or white buns/bread on their burgers & sandwiches!)
~Exercise (you mean you're going to go out to exercise instead of sit home with me?  Too much walking with me makes his bad knee ache.)

So, as you can gather, he's jumping for joy (as much as his knee will allow) that this whole thing is DONE.

This Challenge made me realize just how UNhealthy our regular, unconscious living can be.  Unless you're really paying attention, most people (myself included!) don't get any or enough fruits/vegetables, water, and exercise every day.  It also seems like treats &/or white flour are served everywhere we go.  (One evening at Bunco, out of an entire buffet that was provided, I could only select some frozen raspberries and cheese cubes to eat.)
The rules of the Challenge did allow one day a week to eat treats/white flour (you could only earn points in this category 6 days/week), so I had to really look at my week and decide when I would take it.  The problem was, there were multiple days every week that were going to have treat/white flour "opportunities."
My daughter's birthday and Mother's Day occurred during this Challenge.
There's also my weekly date with my husband.
And Sunday night came around every week - when we like to have treats while playing games.
Throw in snacks at my weekly cub scout den meetings, bridal showers, Mom's 'n' Muffins at Farm. Elementary, school Spirit Night @ a pizza place, wedding receptions, catered work meetings, my dad's 76th birthday get-together, extended family dinners, Missionary homecoming luncheons, BUNCO, dinner out with Business Partners, packing a lunch when I was a Field Trip chaperone (what do you do instead of a sandwich, made w/ bread?), Memorial Day BBQ (hamburger w/ no bun!), girlfriends' lunch, and three days of our family vacation...and that translates into A LOT of times that I had to say, "No"!!!
It was HARD to pick just one day a week.....and then PASS on everything else during the week!

BUT.......drumroll, please.....I DID IT!  And I ended up with a perfect score for the 8 Week Challenge, so I win [a piece of] the money!!!
As it turned out, there were seven of us with the highest [perfect] score at the end, so we're splitting the winnings - only about $35/person.  We needed more "slackers" in the group, so I could've taken home the entire $250 that was up for grabs!!!
But, like I said, two of my sisters were in the Challenge (also winners), so I KNEW there wouldn't be any slacking going on amongst us - ya just can't mess with the Fowers' determined/competitive nature!  ;)

AND.....another drumroll, please.....IT'S OVER!  Yay!!!  I'm ready for some freedom!
Hopefully, "freedom" does not equal reversing all the weight loss/health I've benefited from lately.)