Close Lipped Kyle

Last night, Kyle went out with some friends.  I knew he got picked up from our house by his two friends, "Friend 1" and "Friend 2."  But, then later, at the end of the night, when he texted asking if I could come pick him up, he was at "Friend 3's" house.
While I was driving him home, I was asking questions about his evening, curious as to why he was no longer with "Friend 1" and "Friend 2" who he started off with, and how he ended up at someone else's house.

Me: "So, you guys just decided to go over to 'Friend 3's' house?"
Him: "Ya."
Me:  "All three of you?  'Friend 1,' 'Friend 2,' and you?"
Him: "Well, I think 'Friend 1' went home."
Me: "And 'Friend 2?'"
Him: "He must've walked home." (he lives closer to this kid)
Me: "Just now or earlier in the evening?"
Him: "Just a little earlier."
Me: "So, did 'Friend 3' call you and invite you over, or did you guys just show up?"
Him: "We just decided to go over there."
Me: "Did you go there right after they picked you up, or did you do something else first?"
Him: "Almost right after."
Me: "So, what did you do when your friends very first picked you up from our home?"
Him: "Well, first we went driving around."
Me: "Driving around where?"
Him: "Well, we were going over to see 'Female Friend 1' at her house."
Me: "And, did you?"
 
We talked for about 5 whole minutes about what happened (which wasn't totally making sense to me, thus, LOTS of questions) BEFORE he finally [and casually] mentioned that "Friend 1," the driver of the car he was in, got into an accident while they were on their way to "Female Friend 1's" house - towards the beginning of the night!!! 

(Everyone was OKAY).
Did he just experience a "slip of the mind" about the accident during my previous 20 QUESTIONS, or what?!?  ;) 
The cops came to the scene to fill out an accident report and everything.  (And they did test "Female Friend 1" to come outside...to see them, BTW.) Then, "Friend 1" had to go home to face "the wrath of his mother" whose nice car he happened to be driving.  And, that's why Kyle was no longer with him, and was at "Friend 3's" house instead - "Friend 1's" evening out with friends was over, and he had to drop them off somewhere else.

Had I not had an "inquiring mind," he maybe wouldn't have even "disclosed" that slight, little detail of the evening!  It's just one of my many roles in my "job description" as a Mom: INVESTIGATOR.

What a contrast, though, he is to his older brother who, at times, was too much of a chatterbox - in fact, we actually have had to say, "Stop talking" to him sometimes in the past.  Whereas, Kyle tries to get away with as few words as possible - as if he believes he only has a limited number of words in his lifetime, and he doesn't want to use them all up too early!  ;) 

If You Confuse the Gas Pedal for the Brake.......

......you end up with this:

{And a traumatized teenager.}

It was a "Perfect Storm" that played a part in the "incident":

• The State of Utah says they can get a Learner's Permit when 15 yrs. old....so he's old enough to get a Learner's Permit, but not old enough to enroll in the actual Driver's Ed. class, yet.  (Which means he's just suppose to practice driving with his parents in the meantime.)
• He had only had three practice driving sessions under his belt so far; one in the church parking lot, two on a real road.
• His dad is not equipped with a voice that can carry with enough volume when yelling the word, "STOP!" or "TURN LEFT." OR with a quick reflex, in his state of shock, to reach over and crank the steering wheel away from the brick column.

Oh, the joys of having teenage drivers!
No wonder the cost of insuring a TEENAGE BOY is sky high!

To make it [kind of] a little bit funny.....on their drive (just a minute before the "incident"), they passed one of our son's friends who was walking home, and Matt yelled out the window (jokingly), "Sam, stay off the roads!"
Needless to say, when the brick column tumbled over, it made a very loud noise.
Sam heard it, but didn't see it, from down the street where he was still walking and he (jokingly) texted our son, "What was that noise? Did you run over another curb?" (because that's what happened on a previous practice drive).
Our son later texted him back, "Not quite."

Told You So

I have this little sign in my home:

It speaks the plain truth!

(Although no one wants to admit it!)

Case(s) in point:

• My two youngest daughters think it IS ABSURD that I tell them to put their shoes away, WHEN they take them off, in their closet, that it will make their life (& mine) so much easier.  (At least, I'm assuming they think it's absurd since they totally ignore my counsel on this matter.)     AND THEN, they frequently get to experience the mad dash, frantic searching, & whining/tears which comes from not being able to find their shoes - and often still produces no shoes - and results in being late to school, church, & dance lessons.
• Since Friday is "early out" from school and really the only day that works out to play with friends after school, I tell my oldest daughter that she should do all of her reading before school, so she is free to play after.  Well, apparently it's another absurd idea because it's much more fun to just hang around doing nothing before school!       AND THEN, she has this one friend who seriously calls to play THE MINUTE she walks in the door from school.  And guess what?!?  She can't play since her reading is not done.  This is followed by MUCH weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
• My friend's daughter's basketball team had a couple players get injured and they were now short on players and asked about my daughter playing with them.  When I mentioned it to her, she protested, I don't want to play!  I told her it would be fun and she would be good - she's quite tall, after all.  Her sports lovin' older brother actually told her she didn't have a choice, that she WOULD play ball!  ;)  She went out in the garage to practice dribbling, and she tripped over some boards and fell down, so she shouted/cried at me, You should've never gotten me into this!  I told her not to trip on boards - there wouldn't be any on a real basketball court - and that she needs to try it and she would have a good time.     AND THEN, she did go play in the basketball game.  She was all smiles whenever she looked at us in the "stands" and beaming afterwards.  Her first words to me at the end of the game?  "I want to sign up to play basketball next year!!"
•  I tell my family to keep their elbows off the table.  They think I'm being too proper, that I'm obsessed with "old school" manners in our own home.     AND THEN, we average 9.2 spills a week.
• I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea and like to tell my family members this quote. NO ONE else in my home buys into this.  Why would they?  It's SO MUCH easier to just drop things along the way without paying any attention.    AND THEN, *someone's* wallet is ALWAYS missing (along with all their money!) when they need to go somewhere with it.
• I've suggested an "after school routine" for my very distractable, can't-remember-what-she's-doing-when-she-walks-from-one-room-to-the-next daughter.  It goes like this:

4:00 Arrive Home

4-4:15 After school snack

4:15-4:30  ONE page of assigned homework

4:30-4:50 Practice piano

4:50-5:10 Read

So, by 5:15, she is DONE with EVERYTHING, and FREE to do whatever she wants until bedtime!!! 

She has chosen NOT to adhere to this whatsoever UP UNTIL last week (when we had to have a "duct tape intervention."  Meaning we took all 23 rolls away from her until she could go a week demonstrating responsibility & initiative.)  So, she follows the schedule, and she discovers what "free time" with no checking up from parents feels like - what a novel idea!!!  And she says to me, "This is so great!  Why haven't I been doing this all along?!?"

• But, probably THE BIGGEST "I told you so" incidences that's been on my mind [almost constantly] this week has something to do with the fact that after being a 3 car family for just a mere 5 1/2 weeks, we are back to being a 2 car family.  This is a result of our 3rd car now being deemed "undriveable" due to its extensive damage it has sustained by it's *driver* who was driving it in a way that was contrary to the ways I had always told them to drive!  Let alone, what really COULD HAVE happened to the *driver* if they weren't so lucky blessed to come out unharmed - at least physically!!!  But, what do I know?  I grew up in the 80's!  (*that person's* favorite line to say to me.)  As if "defensive driving" was ONLY applicable when I was in my youth!?!  

 Grrrrrr!
What do they say?  You learn 20% of what your hear, but 80% of what you experience.  You have to experience it to learn it.

And then it still comes back to this:

School's Out for Summer!

So, WHY do I feel like it's kicking my butt?
Like everyone in this house is on vacation, but ME?

WHO came up with the phrase, "Lazy Days of Summer"???

After just one week, my car drives itself to Cherry Hill, Ryan's place of employment for the summer - that I have to take him to and pick him up from practically every day!

It's true.  Yesterday, I was [supposedly] taking Kyle to pick up the newspapers he delivers once a week, when he finally asks me, "Where are we going?"  I came to, and realized I was about 5 blocks past the turn off for the newspapers.  To his question, I answered, "Cherry Hill.  This car KNOWS the way now."   And then I turned around and got him to the right place.  ;)

We started out the week with only two baseball games on our calendar -- which eventually turned into A GAME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, with possibly TWO tonight!  And the boys have both been umpiring at the ball park a few nights this week.
{ALL of which need a ride from ME!}

Kyle made this observation about our "What's for Dinner?" chart:

"So, pretty much -- this planned menu sign is meaningless?!?"

(Since we haven't been around at dinnertime to ever have a real dinner!)

AND.....Here's a question:

WHY is it so freakin' hard for *some people* to pick up the otter pop wrappers and throw them in the garbage can?

It's not.  It's NOT!  It REALLY isn't people!  It's so easy!!  I don't get it!!!


AND...my excuse very good reason for not having a garden in the past was because we did not have enough yard for one.  Well, NOW we do.
As Ryan's "family project" for his Family Life merit badge, our family cleared away a plot of land in our [otherwise unfinished, weed fest] yard and made a garden.  The "project" only required 4 hrs. of work, and that was accomplished two months ago, so he's less than enthusiastic about doing anything with it anymore...

But, I'm out there every day.....always something to do!  I'm sweatin' up a storm in the morning, or getting eaten by bugs in the evening.
Our corn, pumpkins, watermelon, and cantaloupe are coming up!
The onions, green onions, and tomatoes ARE NOT!
Like NO SIGN of them (not that us lame-o's would even know what the plant was suppose to look like!)....and it's been enough time to sprout.....so I think we must've made some ROOKIE mistakes!   

Planted the seeds too deep?  Too many seeds too close together?  Too much water?  Not enough water?  Too many people stepping on them?  Too many weeds?  Bad seeds?  Too many rocks in the soil? (DEFINITELY in these parts!)  


I got me a nice, lobster-red chest - a combination of it being our1st time out this year, faulty sunscreen(?) and a new swimsuit whose designer did not have my size in mind when manufacturing it - from taking the kids to Seven Peaks water park one day.  And it DID turn into a whole day once we drive to & from.

I am even down one child since I drove Haylee out to my sister's for a few days of "cousin play" but I still feel like I am not having a relaxing summer, yet.

Maybe next week?

That's when I'm going to start my summer exercise/training schedule, too.  ;)

I

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

That describes how we spent the last 6+ days......

The main purpose for our trip was for our bro-in-law's medical school graduation in Hershey, PA, but we wanted to make a trip out of it by going a couple days early and staying a couple days later in NYC.

I had actually tried to cancel our trip due to Matt's knee and related limitations, but he insisted we still go - he was ready to start "living again!"

Since jetBlue doesn't fly into Hershey, we decided, along with one of Matt's brothers and his wife (Mike & Mandy), to fly into New York's JFK, rent a car, and drive to PA from there (a *short* 3 hrs., esp. without kids.)

Well........

Prior to starting our trip, Mandy drove her CAR up to Idaho to drop off her kids to be tended at family's place.

She then rode a SHUTTLE back, leaving her CAR up there since she would make the same trip after we got back, so she didn't have to endure so much driving all in one day.  (how ironic that thought would become later on!) 

We went to the airport to catch our flight - which somehow had sold a lot of "day of" seats and did not have nearly enough availability for us to feel confident about getting on.  When they called the standby customers' names who were able to get on the PLANE, ours were not called.

Did I mention the time was 11:30 p.m.?

We had to make a decision.  We could either come back the next night, same time and have a better chance of getting on that flight.  OR we could go down to Vegas and fly out of that airport which has 5 flights a day and a low number of standby customers.

The only thing was:  if we were going to do the Vegas option, we would want to rent a car, so our own car wouldn't be stuck in Vegas, forcing us to return to Vegas after the trip was done.

So.....we walked over to the Hertz (a company where Matt worked 12 yrs. ago) rental car counter, and low and behold, the manager on duty was a guy Matt had worked with way back then.....so, of course, he had to treat us right and waive the "one-way drop off fee" & such!  ;)  We were just getting price quotes on cars & mini vans, asking a lot of questions, but not making a decision.  It was late, and our brains were not working fast.  We were standing there trying to determine if all our luggage would fit into a car trunk, and calculate the cost of gas on top of the rental, then divide it by the two couples, and estimate our time of arrival compared to the flight departure, factoring in the time zone change, and adding up the hours of sleep we might be able to get if we stopped to "crash" at my parent's in St. George.  And then, of course, there was still the option of bagging the Vegas idea, returning to our homes that night, and trying the SLC flight again tomorrow - which wasn't guaranteed we'd get on!  WHAT SHOULD WE DO?  We COULDN'T think!  (Especially when we thought about all the traveling Mandy had already done that day (6 hours), and the traveling time ahead of us:  drive to Vegas, flight to JFK, drive to Hershey.)  WHAT WAS THE BEST OPTION?  We were literally standing around just staring at each other, not that we were trying to "barter" with the prices, we were waiting for our brains to figure it out - and it wasn't happening!  And THEN, the next thing we know, Matt's former Hertz co-worker announces he's going to give us a mini-van for $53 TOTAL (taxes & fees incl.) just to "get us out of here."  DONE DEAL!  :)

I feel like I'm dragging this story out a little too long, and truthfully, how do you top an unsolicited $53 mini van rental?

So, I'm thinking I'll resort to that old gimmick from the 80's television and movies: The Working Montage.

(Remember those scenes where they would compress several hours of the story into just a few minutes --  all before the next commercial?)


Without further ado, here is the Planes, Trains, & Automobiles working montage:

The scene opens on Mike, Mandy, & I rolling our suitcases out to the Hertz garage.  The time now is 12:30 a.m.

Next, the camera pulls back to reveal a meandering Matt coming along behind on his straight leg brace and one crutch.

We get in our RENTAL CAR, Matt behind the wheel, and we get on the road.

Mike is hungry.  We stop at In 'n' Out burger in Draper, where we are accosted by a couple shamelessly making out in the vehicle next to us.....they eventually came inside and continued their "lip-locking" in their booth between bites of burgers.

Matt continues driving down the Interstate, while some or all of the passengers drift in and out of sleep.

I'm awakened by the sound of our CAR driving over the washboard-like treads ("wake up bumps") and I sit up in my seat and yell, "Matt!  Matt!" -- this happens multiple times!

Mandy takes over the driving since Matt demonstrated he was not "alert" enough for the job.  Again, I'm awakened by the sound of our CAR on the bumps, and I sit up and yell, "Matt!  Matt!" to which I'm informed Matt is not even driving.  I explain my "confusion" by saying, "Well, that was a 'Matt move'!"

Mike takes over the driving after an hour and a half and we stop in St. George at my parent's.  It is 5:30 a.m.

We crash for 3 hrs., get up and get ready.  Never even seeing my sleeping Mom.

We get back into the CAR and drive.

Mike is hungry.  We go through a McDonald's drive thru in Mesquite.

Continue on to the Las Vegas airport.  We arrive.

Turn in the RENTAL CAR.

Check in for the flight.

Hear our names being called to the gate counter - followed by a "warning" that if we don't get there in 3 minutes, our seats will be given to the next standby customers!  I bee-line it to the counter and the agent asks where my party of 4 is.

The camera relocates to the others:  Mandy is in the store across the hall admiring a dress she wants to buy.  Matt is still in his seat, moving at his incapacitated, post-surgery, straight leg brace w/ crutch speed -  trying to get his backpack on so he can join me.  The agent IS NOT impressed with us!

We get on the PLANE -- all separated from one another -- all middle seats.  But, it's jetBlue, which has more legroom than your average airplanes, so we manage.

A 5hrs. 9 min. flight.

We ride the AIRTRAIN at JFK airport to Federal Circle, the shuttle pick up area.

We ride the Alamo SHUTTLE to the rental car lot.

We get in the CAR, a premium Taurus that was given to us an economy rate again, and we're on our way, trusting Mandy's iPhone's GPS to lead us there.

Mike is hungry.  He wants Popeye's Chicken.  We tell him we want to get down the road a bit first, and we'll get off in a couple of freeway exits.

The GPS leads us down this road and then over on that road and back on another road - never getting us onto a freeway.

We drive through Jamaica, NY.

We drive through Flushing, NY.

WE FIND OURSELVES IN BROOKLYN, NY!!!

We see a couple of Popeye Chicken's, but do not dare stop.

We drive through Manhatten....and finally enter the Holland Tunnel over to New Jersey.

The camera shows a thought bubble above our heads, "WHERE THE HECK IS THE FREEWAY?"

We opt to now follow Matt's smartphone's Google maps app and we get on the freeway.

We get stuck in multiple areas of congestion & slowing [stopping] due to construction work -- the only problem was:  THERE WERE NO CONSTRUCTION WORKERS IN SIGHT!

The rest of Matt's siblings are texting us from our rental house in Pennsylvania asking WHERE WE ARE!??!

Various degrees of frustration, joking, orneriness, light-heartedness, sleepiness, laughing, accusations, apologies, playful mocking, headaches, and delirious giggling ensue.

Mike is [still] hungry.  We stop at a Wendy's drive thru when we finally clear the congestion.

We arrive at the [200 yr. old] house in Pennsylvania at 2:30 a.m.

Nothing like a "3 hour drive" turning into a 5 hour drive, while driving through all the boroughs of New York!

This arrival time was exactly 27 hours after we first left our home...and about 7 hours earlier than we WOULD HAVE arrived had we just waited for and made it on the next evening's flight out of SLC.  BUT, flexibility is the #1 attribute needed for standby travel!

Again, we crash for the second night in a row.

Saturday was spent at Hershey Park riding ROLLER COASTERS.  (Me, not Matt - that darn knee!)

Luckily, the CAR drive over was mere minutes!

For the graduation, wouldn't ya know it, we had to board a BUS to take us from the parking lot to the Coliseum where the ceremony was held.

 

{Congratulations Trey AND Michelle!}

{And Happy Birthday, Nicole!}

We drove around the charming town of Hershey in our CAR for the rest of the festivities related to graduation.

It was time to leave PA.  Mike is hungry.  We stop at a Wendy's before we get on the road.

We drove our CAR back to our hotel in New York (this time closer to the 3 hr. expected travel time) in and out of sleep, talking, singing - add in an "unfortunate event" at a gas station bathroom.

Mandy & I get out and check us into our hotel rooms.

Mike & Matt take the rental car back with the intention of riding the car rental SHUTTLE back to the airport, then catching our hotel SHUTTLE from there back to us.  Matt, being fed up with all the traveling, asks the rental car manager if the shuttle driver can just drop him at the nearby hotel instead of back to the airport.  The manager came up with an even better solution:  he advised one of his workers to get back in the car they had just returned and to chauffeur them to our airport.  Score!

We were suppose to meet Chris & Cheryl (another bro & sis in law) in Times Square for dinner....

So, we took a TAXI to the right subway station.  (He drove us through all the back streets & alleys!)

We got on the E TRAIN subway into the city.

The four of us WALKED [Matt hobbled] several blocks to John's Pizzeria for dinner.

After an evening in Times Square & at Rockefeller Center,

we took the SUBWAY back, transferred to the AIRTRAIN, which took us to Federal Circle to catch the SHUTTLE back to our hotel.

Camera zooms in on just Mandy's situation, who had decided she didn't want to leave things to "chance" with the flying on Buddy Passes anymore, so she actually booked & bought a confirmed flight on a different airline to leave early the next morning.  She took the hotel SHUTTLE back to the airport, got on her PLANE, had a connection in Phoenix, and flew the rest of the way into SLC.  She caught the SHUTTLE to take her back to Idaho....which had a tire blow out on the way.  She gets to her sister's house in Idaho, spends the night, and drives her children back in her CAR the next day.

Camera zooms in on the situation in Farmington.  Intermixed in this, my dad, staying at my home, drove Mandy's car keys, that had been left at my home when we first started this trip, up to her house in Kaysville......where a friend retrieved them and drove them out to the airport to give to Mandy, so she'd have them when she got to Idaho.

Camera returns to the happenings in New York.  Again, we take the hotel SHUTTLE, AIRTRAIN, & SUBWAY back to the city to meet Chris & Cheryl at the 9/11 Memorial,

 then to Battery Park,

and finally out to lunch before we say "Good Bye" to them.

We take the SUBWAY, AIRTRAIN, & SHUTTLE back to the hotel where our baggage is being stored, tell the shuttle driver we are just getting our back and to please wait.

We ride the SHUTTLE back to the airport.

Check in for our flight.

Again, due to last minute bookings, the plane is almost completely full.  (What's up with all these people & their late purchases?  It's like 4X the cost at that point!)  We've all pretty much accepted that we will NOT get on the flight, but we have to stay just to go through the motions, and then get "rolled over" to the next day.  Much to our surprise, our name is called!  They have only ONE seat left, so we send Mike and Matt & I stay behind.  He gets on the PLANE and flies home, no incidents, arriving according to our original itinerary.

Matt & I discover ALL of our luggage went ON the PLANE with Mike.....we now were left with ONLY the clothes on our backs!  We had to resort to the ol' wash-your-underwear-in-the-sink-and-hang-it-out-to-dry for the next day trick!

Matt & I use HOTWIRE to book a hotel - Matt didn't think sleeping in the JFK airport in his condition very fun.  Since HOTWIRE picks the hotel for you, unfortunately, we got one without a hotel shuttle.  When we called the front desk, we were told we'd have to take a TAXI -- so we did.

Then next day, we shopped, and toured, and ate (at Popeye's Chicken, in honor of Mike!) in Jamaica, NY - ON FOOT.  The song from Sesame Street, "Which of these things is not like the other" was running through our minds, that's for sure.  Us white tourists stuck out like a sore thumb!

After examining Google maps, Matt discovered there IS a subway station within walking distance!  (What were the hotel staff thinking?)  So, we took the AIRTRAIN back to the airport.

After waiting in the airport, our names were called, and we got on the PLANE!  In the EVEN MORE SPACE rows, but separated again.

We sat in the PLANE on the tarmac for 1 1/2 hrs., then they announced there was a back up due to weather conditions and congestion.  They got approval to be rerouted up through CANADA, but that they would need to return to the gate to re-fuel for that flight.

To be humane, they let those who wanted to get off for a rest and for food, to do so while we were re-fueling.

When everyone had re-boarded, we got to the end of the line for take off.....and waited another hour in the PLANE for ATC clearance!

The PLANE takes off and flew the long way home, in & out of sleep, reading, talking to my neighbors, landing in SLC at 1:00 a.m.

My dad picks us up in our MINI VAN and we drive home.  We arrived home at 1:30 a.m.  I crashed in my own bed at 2:00 a.m.

--------------------

But, Matt says it was all worth it, in spite of it all.  He was tired of not being able to do anything for the last 9 weeks, so this was his first BIG ADVENTURE since that fateful day of the church ball accident.  As far as "adventure" goes, I seem to have that down pat!  Even though it may be a distorted interpretation of "adventure." ;)

A Silver Lining

My Mission President first taught me about "Silver Linings." As in, "Every cloud has a silver lining."
He taught that in the midst of difficulty - and there was PLENTY on the mission (our message was rejected, cancelled baptism dates, unable to receive permission from parents/husbands/friends who were opposed to and would not grant permission to their loved ones being Baptized, investigators dropping us, foreign languages to learn, WEIRD food, "No Shows" for appointments & church, The cold/wet/humid/scorching weather...on a bike, companion relationships, etc. - sometimes ALL in the SAME day! Aauuugh!)

But, then, he said, there was ALWAYS something GOOD that could come out of it.  Blessings were all around - even if we did not discover them until a WHILE after the desperate/unhappy/gloomy situations.


Soooo, in the middle of our Post- Ruptured Patellar Tendon life - and I say, "OUR" because it has totally affected our whole family...."Single parent" with one more "child" to care for, but only the same amount of [limited] time - and only ONE driver....

I found a SILVER LINING!

{compliments of our Orthopedic Dr.....I made the request, and a trip to the DMV, and voila!}

And what's better than having a handicapped parking pass?

Having TWO passes!  (One for each car.)

Being a whole foot shorter than Matt, with much shorter legs, I've always had to move along, it seems, with a slow gallop to keep up with him.  NOW.....I'm walking very S.L.O.W.L.Y. and I'm still in front of him.  So, the shorter distance he has to "walk" (what do you call it when one move on crutches?) the better!

BUT!  I will not abuse it.  I have been in the car all by myself, and I pass the front, handicap parking stalls and find one further away, even though.....legally, technically, I could get away with it.

I've noticed others do park in those "reserved" spots EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE A HANDICAP PASS.  And THEN WE have no where semi-close to park.  I'm totally bugged by that.  Don't do it!  There ARE people who really need it!!!

And it's good for 3 MONTHS!  SCORE.  (Hope & Comfort among the challenges.)  It makes my "Gratitude List."

--------------
On the same subject of "Silver Linings" - did you think I was going to write about the movie?  I'm upset that Silver Linings Playbook is rated R.  It sounds like a great idea for a movie.....that I won't be seeing.  Hey!  You movie making people!  Why do you have to ruin all these movies with crap that brings them down to a disgusting & inappropriate rated R level?  Don't do it!

(I guess it's "Opposite NIKE Day")

Good Thing I'm Not a Betting [Wo]Man

ONLY BECAUSE OF my and my husband's impending absence next week due to [hopefully] being on a Mexican Riviera cruise, we decided to let our 2 1/2-weeks-away-from-being-17-yrs.-old son get his Driver's License -- TEMPORARILY -- even though he has not obtained his Eagle Scout yet, (the prerequisite in this family) so he could be the chauffeur to and from all the places he and his siblings need to go in an average week - and it would not drive their caretakers absolutely INSANE with their crazy schedule that they aren't used to at all!

TEMPORARILY being the KEY WORD.  He can ONLY drive while we are gone.....when we return, we are taking his Driver's License away until he gets his Eagle Scout - or until we go out of town again - whichever comes first!  :)

So, I called the Driver's License Division to schedule his road test (as per instructions on their website.)  Well, in doing so, we found out that his Driver's Ed Instructor had never entered his results into the database, so they would not let me schedule an appointment until that happened.  I also found out that his Learner's Permit had expired 5 months ago, so he shouldn't have even been driving with us anymore!  (woops!)  But at least his written score was good for one more month and he didn't have to take THAT again (assuming he could pass the road test.)  So, I spent the next little while texting Ryan back & forth telling him to go talk to his teachers.  I, myself, was also calling the school and leaving voice messages on both the teacher of the class and his instructor he did his driving with....because we needed to get him in BEFORE we left town!  I made a few more calls to the DMV and between that all, we got the proof needed entered into the system.  LUCKILY, there was one cancellation this week that they could fit him in before we departed.

Then my son started texting me:
Why do I have to take a road test?

{Duh!!!}  So, they can determine if you're safe/good/smart enough to be out on the roads!!!  (I didn't actually text him that.)

I just told him someone from the State needs to put their "stamp of approval" on his license, if he's going to get one.

Then he told me that NONE OF HIS FRIENDS had to take the test.....that they already did it in Driver's Ed.

Yeah, right!!  (I thought)  These dumb silly teenagers!

I tried to tell him that all those driving hours he did were JUST his driving PRACTICE & EDUCATION, not an actual test.

Are you SURE?  he asked.

Of course!  I'm the Mom.....besides that's just the way it was back in my day when I was 16 (+ 5 weeks!)  I had to take the test.  Your Dad had to take the test.  Everyone has to take the test!

So, I checked him out of school - out of his hardest class, Calculus, no less - for the ONLY available appointment all week to take him to the Driver's License Division.

The whole way there he was complaining about him not thinking this was neccesary, and that no one he knows has taken a road test with some government official.....and that HE'S MISSING CALCULUS!!!
He asked me some form of "Are you sure?" and "Why?" a half a dozen times on the ride there.

In between all his comments, I was coaching him on making sure NOT to speed or drive up into any of the snow banks, or else they would flunk him on the spot.  I also told him he would FOR SURE have to either parallel park or make a 3+ point turn.  AND on top of that, snow had started to lightly fall, so he'd have to be very careful, as well.

I had him clean out the car and put everything into a bag so the "judge" wouldn't get a bad first impression and not pass him right from the beginning.  I also brought a book and other activities for myself and Miss B. to occupy ourselves with during his hour long(?) road test.

We (I) filled out his application (he still doesn't know our new home address) and took it up to the counter......and then I told the receptionist that my son thought he didn't have to take the road test due to having passed Driver's Ed.  Funny boy, isn't he?!?

AND THEN......

.......she checks in her handy dandy computer.....and says, "THAT'S RIGHT.  We've got his "Certificate of Completion" right here!"

WHAT?!?

ALL HE HAD TO DO was get his picture taken and pay $30.00 (well, I did.)  And it turns out he could've done that any dang time of the day -- WITHOUT an appointment -- and especially NOT during Calculus class.  We were in and out of there in less than 30 minutes, with his new D.L. in hand!

What happened to the way things were done "Back in MY day?"  I had to go out alone with some intimidating, uniformed, stranger dude..... and make a U-TURN in our family's big Suburban!  (Apparently, that part IS done as part of Driver's Ed. in the schools these days.  Who knew?  Not me.)


The whole way back to school, my son kept saying, "WE TOTALLY SHOULD'VE BET ON THIS!"

Irony

I got rear ended today while driving in Salt Lake City.

While waiting for the cops to show up, we pulled over to the side of the road.  I turned my car around and parked behind him......

......and I noticed his van had one of THESE bumper stickers on the back:

 {But it had his REAL 1-800 number to call on the 2nd line}

 But, maybe he should consider changing it out for one of these instead:

hahaha :)

Another reason why I should just stay home!

I've Been Fired

I have a 15 year old.

He will be a 16 year old in a little less than four months. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN, I WANT TO KNOW!!?!
He is enrolled in Driver's Ed at school right now.
(He has flunked one Simulation Test, so far.)

He says it's because we never take him out driving. (always the parents' fault, ya know.)

It's true, he isn't choppin' away at his 40-hours-of-driving-with-10 hours-of-it-being-at night-requirement in order to get himself a Driver's License. There's this funny little rule about ONLY driving with adults....and when am I EVER in the car WITHOUT other little ones in tow?

I think he's completed about 35 minutes, to date.

Well, recently, we were at our church, and no kids were in the car, just Matt & I, and he asked if he could drive. (Sure?)

FIRST, Matt moved the car out of it's current parking spot that was flanked with two other cars and pulled into a parking spot with vacancies on each side of it -- THEN turned the wheel over to Ryan.

So, Ryan puts the car in reverse and starts backing out of the parking space -- WHILE LOOKING OUT THE FRONT WINDSHIELD!!

"LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!" I shrieked.

He slams on the brakes, and I explain to him (unemotionally and quietly, of course! HA!) that he needs to turn his head and WATCH where he's going!

So, he proceeds again to back out of the parking space, while looking out the back window at where he's going -- BUT GUNS IT while doing so!

"BRAKE, BRAKE, BRAKE!" I shrilled.

He slams on the brakes again.

"Mom is going to make me FREAK OUT!" he bemoaned.

Mr. Calm (Matt) suggests to him, to just let off the brake, instead of using the gas, and the car will move naturally.

So, he did that, and it did!

He turned into our driveway. Oh no! I hadn't considered that scenario when we told him he could drive! I had images of him smashing in the garage door, or taking out the door frame on the way in. Our driveway goes down slightly before the garage, but he didn't adjust his pressure on the gas pedal for this -- we were APPROACHING THE GARAGE DOOR TOO RAPIDLY for my liking!

"STOP, STOP, STOP!" I screeched.

"Mom can't do this." Matt declared with finality.

And that's the story of how I got fired.
{Honestly, I'm quite OK with this!}

So, this will be interesting. Mr. Procrastination and Procrastination Jr. are now in it together and fully in charge of getting in 39 hours and 25 minutes more of driving in the next 15 weeks.