Today marks the last day of a work shift I've had at JetBlue over the last 4 months.
THANK GOODNESS X 1,000,000,000!
I've been working A LOT lately - much more than I am used to or that I care to work at my job.
The increase in hours has been due to:
1) I worked a shift this time that is actually during most people's waking hours. (As opposed to a 10PM - 4AM shift I've had in the past.)
More people awake = More people call = More busy at work.
**I will say that I chose this shift, I thought I'd give it a try, but those around me have made it extremely clear to me that they HATE THIS SHIFT! I won't do that again.**
and
2) We've just come through the winter season with the infamous SNOWPOCALYPSE(es) (plural) that wreak HAVOC on the airline industry.
More airline operations disruptions = More people call = More busy at work.
So...with working so much, I've also had plenty of opportunities to hear a lot of great/weird/funny/awesome/classic things while "On the Phones @ JetBlue."
*Customer: "I need to book a flight for either the 9th, 10th, or 11th - whichever costs the lowest."
Me: "OK - it looks like those three days all have the same fare."
Customer: "Let's go with the 9th. This is for my Mother-in-Law returning home -- the sooner, the better!"
Later...
Me: "We have some 'Even More Legroom' seats available, would you like to upgrade to those?"
Customer: "NO UPGRADE! We don't want these flights to be too comfortable for her or else she'll think she can keep coming back!"
Me: "OK - would you prefer window or aisle?"
Customer: "Let's give her a window seat -- so then she can lay her head against the window and think -- and remember how terrible we all are and how she hates us!"
Later while going over the terms & conditions...
Me: "If she is a NO SHOW for the flight, then all money associated with this fare would be forfeited..."
Customer: "Hopefully THAT won't be possible!"
Later...
Me: "You're all set. Thank you for calling JetBlue."
Customer: "Hopefully she gets there safe and DON'T COME BACK. I'll keep my fingers crossed!"
(Hmmmm...I wonder if she and her Mother-in-Law like each other?) hahaha ;)
Customer: "Can you look up my reservation?"
Me: "Sure - what is your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: "1K892PNG0X7E"
Me: "Your JetBlue confirmation number will be six digits, all letters. Can you see something like that on your itinerary?"
Customer: "No, it says right here this is my USAirways confirmation number."
Me: "Oh, is your reservation with USAirways?"
Customer: "Yes. I need you look it up."
Me: "Is any part of your flight with JetBlue?"
Customer: "No."
Me: "OK, this is JetBlue - I won't be able to look up your USAirways reservation. I would suggest you call them for information."
Customer: (voice laced with total shock) "I'll need to call USAirways???"
Me: "Yes. If your reservation is with them, you will."
Customer: (pause) "O--K-AAA-Y." (with total doubt coming through in her voice)
Me: "Hello. Thank you for calling JetBlue, my name is Suzanne. How may I help you?"
Customer: "Oh, How are you Cynthia? That's my daughter's name, as well. You've got a lovely name!"
*A customer was booking a flight for her 18 yr. old daughter and her friend, but didn't know how to spell the friend's name exactly, so she was calling to her daughter for assistance. Her daughter refused to come to where her mother was, but, instead she ripped off the spelling from wherever she was hiding out in the house. My customer tried to spell it to me, based on what she might have heard, but then I could hear her daughter in the nethermost parts of the house yelling to her about it not being right. My customer would re-spell it to me after trying to catch what her daughter said, but, again, her daughter yelled from afar the REAL spelling. After a few misspelled attempts and my customer insisting her daughter come to phone to take care of it herself, her daughter got on the phone with me and [very irritated] spelled it for me correctly. As the daughter was handing the phone back to her mother, I overheard....
Daughter: "You're literally the most retarded person I've ever met in my entire life. I hope you die!"
(Huh?!? How about, "Thanks so much, Mom, for buying my friend & I a flight!" What a lovely young woman! Don't you just hope your own daughter(s) will be like that when they're 18? How about)
* I was booking a flight for my customer who was doing it (and paying) for someone else...
Me: "Would he prefer a window or aisle seat if available?"
Customer: "I don't care. He's flying for free. He could be in the engine!"
* Customer: "I'm going to ask you a question you've probably never had."
Me: (thinking, 'No...I've heard A LOT, most likely I've had it before") but I actually said, "OK, what is it?"
Customer: "I'm going through a gender change....My ID still says, 'Michael' and I'm trying to change it to 'Michelle' which is what I go by now, but I don't have a new ID yet, these things take time....and I dress like a woman...and my gender change is not totally complete....will I have problems at the airport?....and especially with the Security department?"
Me: "The official policy with air travel is that the name on the flight reservation needs to match the name on your ID exactly."
Customer: "Do you think I need to tell them that I'm going through a gender change? Because I am."
Me: "If you feel so inclined, but it's not necessary."
Customer: "But, I'm trying to look more like a 'Michelle' than a 'Michael' and I'm wondering what to do...."
Me: "The important thing to remember is to follow the correct policy with your ID." (I repeated a version of this statement several times with each of his rebuttals and/or occasions he/she took to inform me about his/her gender change.)
He finally gave up and ended the call when he/she realized that he/she could not/did not ruffle my feathers with The Question he/she assumed would shock my pants off!
(And, YES, I've had a similar question before - it wasn't my first!)
* A man called in who was getting information from me, then would turn from the phone a bit to talk to his wife in the background about the details and ask advise about their travel plans. I could hear everything he said, but I didn't hear any response back from the wife. I could hear her in the background, so I knew she was there....
Customer: "My wife NEVER listens to me, as you can tell!"
* It's hard to correctly hear the right letters people are saying sometimes (B, D, V, T, P, G all sound the same over the phone), so it's a common practice for us crew members and customers both to clarify by saying, "B as in Bravo, D as in David, V as in Victor", etc.
So, one day I get a customer who is trying to give me his confirmation number to look up....
Customer: "W as in wiener....."
Me: (giggled a little) (He was trying to joke with me, right!?)
Then much to my surprise, when I pulled up his reservation, his name was Tom Wiener! He hadn't tried to be funny. He was being serious - that's a "W" word he can relate to! :)
6 days ago
