Kids Say the Darndest Things - April '10 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Matt & I were at a restaurant with Ryan where we had to spend a minimum of $50 in order to use a $25 gift certificate we had, so we ordered drinks, a couple of appetizers, our own meals [off the "adult" menu], add-ons, and dessert. As we were driving away...
Ryan: "Wow! For the first time in my life, I feel like my family is rich!" 4/10

Kyle: "What happens if you eat fat?"
Me: "You get fat."
Katelyn: "If you get fat, you have to have a baby!" 4/10

Haylee's 8th Birthday was coming up, so we were having a discussion about whether 8 yr. olds were considered "Big Kids" or still "Little Kids." (I said it depends on how they act!) But, it got the age groups on her mind....
Haylee: "I know how it goes; Newborn, Infant, Toddler, Little Kid, Big Kid, Teenager, Grown Up, Grandma, Old Person, DEAD!" 4/10

Katelyn knew that Mon & Dad had gone and played soccer...
Katelyn: "Who won?"
Me: "The other team."
Katelyn: (disgusted) "WHAT?!?"
Me: "They were better."
Katelyn; "Mom, you need to practice!" (pause) "From Dad!" 4/10

We have a children's Animal Encyclopedia and Katelyn was looking at the cow page. There were pictures of the different breeds of cattle...
Katelyn: (pointing to a brown Hereford bull) "That one makes chocolate milk!" 4/10
(actually they're used as beef cattle, but I won't burst her bubble.)

Katelyn went to the Dr. for her "Kindergarten check-up" and shots. She complained about going, but I told her that the Dr. had to sign her Kindergarten papers stating she was well enough or else she couldn't go to school. So, she stopped complaining. At the appointment...
Dr: "Do you watch T.V. or play video games?"
Katelyn: (nods her head) "Yes." (quietly)
Dr: (to me) "Do you think she does it too much?"
Me: "We don't have video games, but T.V.? Yes!"
Dr: (looks at Katelyn with a concerned face, then documents her record)
Then the conversation between Dr. & patient goes on to other topics. When the Dr. leaves the room...
Me: "Did you notice that the Dr. asked about watching T.V.?"
Katelyn: (looking sheepish) "Yes, Why did she?"
Me: "She needs to know all about you. Too much T.V. is not healthy!"
Katelyn: "Am I still going to be able to go to Kindergarten or not?" 4/10

I Caught my Husband Sleeping with his Girlfriend!

I'm a very jealous woman!

He says "she" was just warming up my side of the bed for me! Uhh huh, I believe him. ;)

Approaching the Big Day

I'm trying to be like Jesus;
I'm following in his ways.
I'm trying to love as he did,

in all that I do and say.

Haylee will enter "the straight & narrow path" this Saturday when she gets baptized.

We had a great day at Temple Square taking [153] pictures...drawing some looks and a few
compliments from passersby.

We were also watching the brides there that day - 5 to be exact (Haylee was counting!)

Haylee was very enchanted by the brides.

I told her that would be her next white dress to wear.

She was really admiring those brides.

I asked her if she'd like to get her picture taken with one of them, since she was so interested. I told her I would ask their permission.

She declined. She thought the brides wouldn't want to be bothered by her.

Instead, she settled for posing for a shot in one of the famous bride picture taking spots...

What do YOU think?

Would a bride have agreed to pose for a photo with an adoring 8 yr. old girl?

We topped it off by stopping at Costco on the way home for a churro and a smoothie.

Gotta Love It!

Our Streak of Luck is Definately Over

Another Annual Credit Union Meeting.

More high hopes of a big winnings REPEAT FOURPEAT.

I think our good fortune two years (and 3 & 4 years) ago conditioned us to expect it. Which, is proving to be unrealistic.

We thought last year was bad with only $45 and 3 winners.

But, THIS YEAR....only 1 winner....




Our "Disney Cruise Fund" isn't amounting to much with THAT!

More boo hoo-ing around here. :(
But, it could be worse ($0) so I shouldn't complain. Who am I kidding? That crappy [unsolicited] advise is the kind that would come from an "Adult" that no one (I) wants to hear.

******

And to add insult to injury, Ryan just found out he was not appointed to Office at the Jr. High. Tack that one onto this post I made a while back.

CONGRATULATIONS! You Just Made the Blog.

Haylee...

{What do I expect when I leave it hanging on my bathroom doorknob?}

Adventures in Sleep Studies: Part A

Remember how I thought I was losing my mind?

Well, last summer, I read a magazine article about Bioidentical Hormones and how they are helping people. There was this checklist of symptoms to determine if one may be a good candidate for this treatment.
That checklist described ME!
The top two things on the list were Forgetfulness and Brain Fog.
They had my attention now.
Then there were other symptoms that also applied:
Fatigue
Waking up in the morning tired
irritability
weight gain
low energy

So, I began my search for a doctor who believed in/would prescribe these Bioidentical Hormones - and would CHANGE my life.
I found one and had an appointment several months ago. In a nutshell, she wasn't convinced that hormones were a problem for me. In fact, I think she wondered WHY I even came!
So, I left that appointment with no prescription, but with homework - GREAT!
She had me track all my symptoms for 3 months. 3 MONTHS! And had me fill out a complete Mental Health Assessment. Then come in for blood work.
I did it all - in hopes that I'd get those Bioidentical hormones and my mind back!

Anyway...the results came back and the net of it is, she gave me an A+ in hormones. What an acheivement! :) The only significant thing she found was that I tested VERY postive for Sleep Disorders.
She asked me about that.
I told her going to bed at 11:00 P.M. would be considered EARLY for me. I also mentioned I get 3-7 hours of sleep each night.
She asked me why that was.
Well, I have "STUFF" to do, and I don't have a nanny, an "Alice" (from Brady Bunch) or a Mother who does it for me.
She said she "gets it."
But, she wanted to have me do a Sleep Study. A Sleep Study? Those are for people with Sleep Apnea and major snoring problems! And I don't snore - except for during the 9th month of pregnancy - as reported to me by my husband, who has opted to sleep somewhere else those 5 times. (Unlike myself who has stayed by HIS side through 187 months of SERIOUS snoring & nighttime noises!)
The Dr. gave me the choice of a "home study" or going into the Sleep Center.
I, of course, opted for the Home Study.
I had to go to the Sleep Institute of Utah and pick up an oximeter.

Getting it was all very specific. I had to make an appointment to pick it up. And the pick up window of time was only 1 hour and 45 minutes - on certain days. And I had to pick it up the same day I would do the study because it had to be returned the next day. And it wasn't available every day since other patients are checking it out, too...
It was all too complicated and I hadn't even started the official "study" yet!
Then to add to the exactness of it all, they made me sign a form when I got the oximeter that I would have to pay $187 for every day that I didn't bring it back! AND I had to get at least 6 hours of sleep for this study!
The anxiety started to bud...
6 hours. That's towards the high end of my norm. Wonder if I don't make it?
I didn't do my normal "STUFF" that night and went to bed EARLY instead - at 10:30p.m. so I could get that magic 8 hours of sleep.
And I try not to think about the "STUFF" I didn't do.

They give me some tape to secure the oximeter to my finger, but the instructions warn against having it too tight since it may cut off circulation and prevent an accurate reading.
I put it on. It definately feels too insecure. I worry it will fall off during the night. I wrap one piece of tape around it. Still not snug - still worried it could fall off.
I put on another piece of tape.
It feels better.
But, if 2 pieces are good, 3 are better, right?
Put on 3 pieces.
I worry it's too tight.
Take off one piece. Back down to 2.
Go back to one.
Definitely not going to work.
Put both pieces of tape back on.
And try to go to sleep.
It kind of feels like my finger/hand is throbbing.
Am I cutting off circulation?
Will they get an accurate reading?
Will I ever be able to fall asleep if I'm thinking about my throbbing finger with an oximeter attached to it?
I take off the 2nd and 3rd pieces of tape - FINAL DECISION!

The anxiety is developing more...
I wonder if that trace of fingernail polish left on my nail is going to interfere with the results?
I lay there in bed wondering if I should go get some polish remover.
But, I'm suppose to be asleep! Getting up would not look good on the reading.
I stay in bed. On my back. With the arm hooked up to the oximeter perfectly straight down my side. This is NOT how how I normally sleep.
I want to turn on my left side like normal, but the oximeter is on my right hand and the machine base thingy is on my nightstand on my right. I worry if I turn, I will pull it off the nightstand - or the weight of the base will yank the monitor off my finger.
I lay there and think of other possible sleeping positions...instead of sleeping.

I try to plan out my day for the next day, so I can make sure to return the oximeter and avoid the $187 late fee.
I lay on my right side, so as not to pull on the cord. This usually makes my arm go numb.
Back to sleep on my back.
I look at the clock. Can I still get >6 hours of sleep?
I can if I can fall asleep BEFORE Matt and all his snoring/snorting!
I'm gonna have to hurry and fall asleep or else it'll be too late for that!
The pressure is on even more. The anxiety building....

So, while concentrating on falling asleep before Matt, wondering if my finger is wrapped up too tight - or too loose, trying to ingrain it into my brain NOT to FORGET to return the machine the next day, getting enough sleep, getting a "good score," wondering if I'm doing it all right - I did all the opposite!
The anxiety mode overpowered the relaxation mode...

And when I did sleep, I dreamt of late fees, insufficient hours of sleep, my children coming in and turning off the machine in the middle of the night, the batteries going out, etc. etc. Those kind of dreams SUCK!

I woke up with a "Morning Headache" and feeling tired.
But, I DID manage to return the oximeter on time!

Needless to say, they called me back. After getting the results, my Dr. has ordered a sleep study for me. As in overnight - as in at their center.
Oh boy, if I thought the one in my own bed was pretty difficult -

I'm in for a RUDE AWAKENING!

(pun intended.)

So, This is Spring Break?

{The scene of our car outside our hotel door}

No wonder we've always opted to go to St. George for Spring Break in the past! :)

First Child Syndrome

I was reminded today of how funny [READ: fanatic, extreme, psycho] I was about my first child.

It all started with me just looking for some extra party invitations I needed that I may or may not have stored in a file cabinet drawer.
The drawer was hard to open and tread through because it was full of....well, stuff [READ: junk].
So, in an attempt to find party invitations, I started going through ALL the contents of the drawer.
And I found a TON of artwork that I had saved from Ryan's earliest "budding artist" days.
Most of which I had forgotten about and never looked at again.

Also, with most of it I tried hard to figure out WHY I had saved it.

Case in Point: Just look at this FINE piece of pottery.

And WHY have I saved this Halloween wreath with real candy corn? (most of which have fallen off and disappeared to who knows where, but they weren't in the file drawer.) I don't want to even think about the creatures that may have enjoyed those!

Ya gotta feel sorry for this clown/robot/jack-in-the-box with his missing eye, detached leg, and crumpled hat. For some reason, I thought it was worthy to save. (It must be the soft spot I have for the "underdog.")

Now, this drawing is just SO impressive!

I mean, it just doesn't get much better than this work of art...notice it's "colorfulness!"

And, look! I must've been so proud at his first words written...

(Do you know HOW MANY similar papers I have thrown away in the years since then that my other kids have written letters/words/their name on? Hundreds!)Now, this one IS quite interesting.....a drawing of his family, complete with me having a sword fight with Daddy while holding my little guy, Ryan, AND while being pregnant (notice the circle on my tummy) which Ryan apparently doesn't like, since he drew an "X" through it! Wow! What a talented lady I am! :)

And, THEN I saved four of the exact same pictures! FOUR! WHY? Because I was a gloating first-time parent.

Or maybe to show his progression with coloring.

FIRST, primarily all one-color, drab color choice rendition of dinosaur/butterfly/duck/gremlins scene. (Is there such a scene?)

SECOND, still mostly all one-color, but a more vibrant colored rendition of D/B/D/G.

THIRD, using a different color for many of the creatures of DBDG.

Fourth, using multi-colors on each of the creatures in the Why-didn't-I-even-pick-a-CUTE-scene-to-save?

I wonder what file drawer is housing all my other children's "masterpieces?"

Oh, I know...it's the Sanitary Landfill "file drawer."

And it made it's way there after being displayed on the fridge, closet, or back of the front door in our home for a couple weeks, then into the trash can, and then picked up by our trusty Sanitation Engineers.

Does this mean I don't love the others as much as the first? NO. I just realized now that there will be no shortage of pieces of artwork. And ONE a year is very sufficient to save- and it should be the very best one!

Because, let's face it. There just aren't enough file drawers.

And it's very embarrassing to see what I have hoarded cherished.

Things I also found in that drawer:

• MLS lists and house contracts from our last two houses we bought - in 1996 and 2001. (complete with Farmington houses For Sale at around $150,000! What a bargain!)
• receipts from some "Mystery Shopping" I did 10 or so years ago.
• University of Phoenix MBA program info/application that Matt had sent for/been interested in 10 years ago.
• Benefits package brochures and details from an old job Matt had 10+ yrs. ago.
• A "How to use the Internet" booklet from when we first got it about 12 years ago.
• 4 Gospel Art pictures that have been MIA for...ummm, let me guess, probably 10 years! (I'm very happy about this find!)

Pretty scary to think how long the very depths of that drawer have been neglected! :{

So, 2 hours later, I never did find any party invitations, but I have a cleaned out file drawer!

Things I've Heard on the Job: #3

It's time for another installment in the continuing Saga of "On the Phones at JetBlue" for your reading pleasures (actually more for my own memory/record.)

* Right in the middle of a phone conversation I was having with a customer....
Customer: "SHUT UP!"
Me: (pause. silence. pause.)
Customer: "My husband is being obnoxious! Go on..."

* Customer: I need you to look up my reservation.
Me: Sure. May I have your confirmation number, please?"
Customer: I don't know it, just look it up with my name!"
Me: I will need a confirmation number or a credit card number to locate your reservation."
Customer: Why can't you pull up my reservation with just my name? Every other agent has been able to do it for me."
Me: (thinking) That is so NOT true! (but actually said) "I'm not sure how that happened before. For YOUR safety and privacy we're unable to release any of the information on your itinerary without one of these numbers."
Customer: "Unbelievable!...here it is....'R' as in RETARDED...."
(I guess there's no question how he felt about ME!) :)

* Customer: "Oh, I need your help."
Me: "Hhh....." (cut off)
Customer: "I've got to get my grandson back home. But, my Ex-Daughter-in-Law has NO HEART! None! You just can't even believe this lady."
Me: "Oooo...." (cut off)
Customer: "My grandson's dad died and then his puppy died, too. His Grandpa who practically raised him is about to die. And she won't let him cut his visit short with her to come back. He needs to be with his Grandpa one last time - they have a good relationship even though I'm not married to him anymore!"
Me: "Mmm..." (cut off)
Customer: "I'm thinking about my grandson, but that Ex-Daughter-in-Law, I'm telling you - she has NO HEART! You see, his dad 'O. D.ed' and suddenly died and she won't pay to change his flight even though it was her turn to pay for this visits' expenses."
Me: "Bbb..." (cut off)
Customer: "We'd drive down to get him, but the car won't even make it to San Juan. Oh, all this makes us sound like a bum!"
Me: "Lll..." (cut off)
Customer: "Well, I know that there is a price to change flights, but SHE [her voice laced with disdain] won't do anything about it! Oh, my grandson just needs to come back. Well, thanks for giving me 'YOUR EAR,' I better let you go now. Good Bye."
Me: "Thank you for calling JetBlue."
(Those darn Daughter-in-Laws!) ;)

* Me: "As far as seating goes, would you like aisle or window, if available?"
Customer: "I don't care, just as long as it's on the INSIDE of the plane!"

Me: "You bet! I can do that." :)


* After giving my customer a price quote for the flight she told me she wanted to book (On a trip for just her)....
Me: "Would you like me to go ahead and make your reservations for you at this time?"
Customer: "Oh, I don't have any money right now. I need to wait for Child Support money. But, I just got my bar tending job back, in Manhattan, so I can make phenomenal money! Can you book it for me "until everything comes through" for me?"
Me: "Actually, the only way to confirm a flight and lock in the fare is to purchase it."
Customer: "OK, I guess I'll have to call back [with doubt in her voice]....later...sometime...maybe."
(You've heard the saying, "There's no such thing as a free lunch" right? Well, there isn't a free airline flight, either.) :)

Size DOES Matter

I'm so delighted with a new purchase we just made.
Bathroom towels.
And not just any bathroom towels...
Thick, cushy, big-enough-to-cover-your-whole-body-when-you-wrap-it-around-you bathroom towels.
(Anyone else have experience with trying to "wrap" a towel around, and everything from the armpits down is exposed in the front? "Around," to me, means all the way around, not just the back side!)

Just look at the difference from where we came to now!

I will say that I'd bought our previous towels from a catalog and had no idea what they were really like until they arrived.
Such a disappointment. Look how FLAT that towel is! Pathetic is what it is! Completely UN-inviting, UN-exciting, UN-comforting. VOID of any I-can't-wait-to-take-a-shower provoking feelings AT ALL!
All bathroom towels are NOT created equal! I guess the term, "Bath Towel" is vague, with A LOT of room for variation!
Definitely something that must be purchased in person...so it can be seen, touch, and tried on for size!
But, we went about using them for a while -- too long -- until we got around to buying some replacements.
The new ones.....Oh, they feel so good. It's so noticeable! (It should be since it's 4X the size!) So soft - reminds me of a comforter, or thick cotton padding, or a luxury resort spa at home, or a pillow top.

A "pillow top" bathroom towel -- who knew?!?

I'm in "Bathroom Towel Heaven" when I step out of the shower now.

And it completely covers me! BONUS!

There's no going back now for me.

******

What "indulgence" (life's simple pleasures) is so worth it to you, that you insist on having it?