Kids Say the Darndest Things - Mar. '14 Edition

Taken from the sidebar......

Brookelle: "Oh my word, _______'s (a child in her carpool) car is SO MESSY!  It's a disaster.
Me: "Really?"
Brookelle: "Yes!   Like my bedroom!"  3/14

Matt & I had attended a 3 day "Royalty & Romance" marriage conference and when we came home the girls were asking about it.....
Me: "Well, we learned this home we live in is our KINGDOM.  Dad is the KING and I am the QUEEN.   So, guess what that makes you children?"
Haylee: "Me, Katelyn & Brookelle are the PRINCESSES!"
Katelyn: "And Ryan & Kyle are the PRINCES!"
Brookelle: "So, who's the MAID?!?"   3/14

Brookelle: "You know what Uncle Mike says?"
Me: "What?"
Brookelle: "He says ALL my bones are good!"
Me: (thinking...trying to interpret the meaning for a second) "Oh!   Did he say 'You don't have a mean bone in your body'?"
Brookelle: "Yes!  Because, ya know, I don't hurt people or say bad things about them...."
Me: "Oh, yes.  That's very true about you."
Brookelle: "But, ya know ________? (a kid in her class) He only has 3 good bones, and the rest are mean bones!"  3/14

The Sacrificial Jedi Braid

Ryan started growing a Jedi braid about a year ago.....

{Summer 2013}

It started out because he went so long without a haircut, and that resulted in REALLY shaggy, long hair.  So, when he finally did go in for a hair cut, he requested she leave just a little section long, to braid.

Not everyone liked it.....in fact, at our Youth Conference this summer there was lots of talk amongst those in attendance about cutting it off in his sleep - there was even a "pot of money" out for the person who would.....but it didn't happen.  I think they were afraid of the repercussions of messing with someone's personal perogative.

It wasn't my favorite - but it's HAIR!
My view on it is this:  Children committing major sins = a BIG DEAL.  Children experimenting with hair = NOT a big deal!

As time went on, it grew a little more.  (Ryan's in the yellow shirt)

{Fall 2013}

And more. 

 And it kept growing. 

{Winter 2013-14}

And growing.... 

{Spring 2014} 

Until this is how long it has gotten today.

He took pride in the fact that, due to another friend's Bishop making him cut off his Jedi braid before he submitted his mission papers, he currently had the longest Jedi braid at VHS.

And then this morning, Matt & I attended the "Mr. Viewmont" assembly at his High School.  It is a "Bachelorette" type event that Ryan was a contestant in.
All I really knew about it was that they had to do A LOT of filming over the past month and they had rehearsals like every day after school this week!!

We watched the "Mr. Viewmont" show and we saw Ryan make it through the "interview round."
Then he made it through the "dance off" round.
Then his team won the "scavenger hunt" round, and they advanced.
Ryan was in the FINAL FIVE!

These finalist all had to do a talent in front of the whole student body as part of the live show this morning - and he was quite nervous for this part.  (He was originally going to sing, but then changed it to "Brench" pressing the Bachelorette, herself!)

So, this is how the talent section of the show played out (click to enlarge):

 (keep in mind, we had NO IDEA what was about to happen!)

(Matt's high-pitched laugh/squeel may be just as entertaining!)

I ALMOST yelled out from my seat in the auditorium, "DON'T DO IT!" 
Why was my 1st instinct to yell & attempt to stop him?  That was a weird phenomenon since I didn't like it that much, anyway.  BUT I know he LOVED it (he even said those exact words in a talk he gave in church last month!) and it had taken a long time, and it wasn't a guarantee to be crowned "Mr. Viewmont."  I didn't know if it would be worth it for him.  But, I restrained myself......it probably is not a good idea to have the mom of a teenager do such a thing!  ;)

And, in the end, he did not win.

When I relayed the experience to his little sisters, Haylee's eyes filled up with tears and she exclaimed, "He did it for nothing?!?"  (Ahhhh, she DOES care about him!!)  ;)
To which [happy] Katelyn replied, "No.  He did it for his mission!"
 (True - there's a time & a season)

What a bummer he didn't win.  (We all think he should've!)  No other contestant gave so much for his Student Body!  ;)

(But, what a fun story & memory!  And a BIG surprise for Mom & Dad.)

It's Not All it's Cracked Up to Be

My son is now 18 years old.

That means he's officially an adult.
(at least that's what he's been telling me.)

So, he had a Dr. appointment the other day, and I just dropped him off at the building entrance while I went to park the car (since we don't have an extra car anymore, I had to drive) and I moseyed on in about 5 minutes later.  It didn't matter, because he's now an adult.

BECAUSE he's now an adult, he can check his own self in at the Dr. office.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he also has to sign all "consent to treat" and other like papers himself.

BECAUSE he is now an adult, he can speak up for himself, he doesn't need his mom to answer for him.

BUT THEN, the moment I walked into the office, the two gals at the front desk asked, "Are you Ryan's mom?"

"Yes."

So, then they waved me on over to them and started going through the whole 9 yards with ME.

I reminded them, because I'm sure they already knew, that he is 18 yrs. old now. (after all, doctors always seem very interested in their patients' DOB - they ask it a few dozen times in the paperwork, over the phone for I.D. and in person, too.)

I found out later why.

Ryan told me the initial interaction went like this - he said he felt like an idiot:

Do you have a co-pay?

I don't know.

What insurance do you have?

I don't know

Do you have medical insurance?

I don't know.

When was the last time you were seen in our office?

I don't know.

Do you know your family medical history?

No.

Well, you'll have to fill out a new information chart.

OK.  

(And then he walked away, without the forms, and sat down in the waiting room - and that's where I found him when I walked in.)

They gave ME the stuff to fill out - and I promptly handed it over to him.
After he was done filling out the information - it's on an electronic tablet these days, with a stylus AND advertisements for drugs pop up when you're moving between screens.  What the what?!? - he signed his own name (he redid it about 5 times - to get his 1st official adult signature just right, ya know!)

I think he liked how it felt, doing such an "adult" thing, and he returned the tablet back to the front desk feeling good and less like an idiot than before.

AND THEN, they asked him for the money for the co-pay of the visit.

At which point, he had to call, "Mom!" (I looked up from my book, minding my own business in the waiting room), signal me to come up to the front desk, and have me open up my purse to take care of the transaction.

Man, being an adult means you actually have to do stuff - and know stuff - and pay for stuff!
Psfff!  It's for the birds!  ;)

**********
For the record, I did NOT go back into the exam room with him.  I let him field all the Dr.'s [awkward & personal] questions on his own, as well as show his back side to the Dr. in private.  ;)  And he got poked with various needles WITHOUT me holding his hand!
I had to let him regain his [adult] dignity somehow!  ;)

If You Hold It, They Will Come

"Money Friends" that is.

Matt is holding $10,000 in Cold. Hard. Cash. (all denominations of bills)

And I've got my hands on $20,000 (all Ben Franklins)

We spent the last 3 days at a "Royalty & Romance" couple's retreat where they taught us (among many concepts) that we have to have a healthy relationship with money.  Therefore, Ben Franklin is one of our "money friends."

The mentors speaking told us we needed to see the money and hold the money to be able to believe we can have it for real in our lives.

OK.  Will do!

For Some Must Push and Some Must Pull

.....as we go marching up the hill. 

{Name that song}

Listen HERE for a hint.

On Saturday, we noticed we actually had a day with hardly anything on the calendar AND we've been having warmer than usual temps, so Kyle had suggested we hike to Flag Rock.

Sure!  Why not?!?

Except when we tried to drive to the starting point, the road was still closed for the winter.

So, we improvised and found another of Farmington's many trails:  the Davis Creek Trail.

It is in the mountains, so it would be quite an ACCENT!  Lots of UPHILL.  So, Matt & I wondered if our younger children would be able to make it....???  I just said, I could take them back to the car when they'd had enough and wait there for the others to finish.

{Ryan was absent, off doing his High School thing with friends, attending the State Bball tourney in SLC}

Well, it turns out, we shouldn't have even worried about them!  The children went up the trail like gazelles!

WE ARE THE ONES to worry about!

 We are the ones who were begging for rests and telling them to wait for us.  And holding each other up. 

(And when I say "we" - it's really like 70% me, 30% Matt!)  :)

My calves were ON FIRE!!!  The angle the hill was forcing my feet into were killing them.  I guess that's why we're suppose to stretch before beginning any physical activity?!?
The thought, How far I've digressed, went through my mind about 43 times.

I never wanted to be one of those moms who don't ever participate in activities (sports, boating, races, swimming, games) with the family - who just sit on the sidelines and watch - so I was making myself do it!

But, my calves!  Ouch!  My knee!  Oh!  My hips!  Ugh!

At one point, Haylee took my hand and pulled me along.  Matt tried pushing me from behind, but then decided if he went in front and I hooked onto his belt loops, he could kind of "drag" me.  ;)  But, his not-quite-a-year-post-surgery-knee was not handling it the best, either.

 (I was kind of disgusted with myself.)

We saw a sign post indicating that we still had 2/3 of the way to go to reach "Pretty Valley" and I thought, Where's the chair lift when you need it?!?

I got to a point where I could see this view of dear ol' Farmington, 

and I pronounced, This is "Pretty Valley" enough for me!

And I turned around and went back down the mountain and waited for the rest of the brood in the car.

(The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!)

I had already hiked for an hour, and they went another hour (they made much better time without me) - luckily I was prepared with a book!

I heard later that Matt kept trying to get our children to stop and go back [using me as his excuse] "because mom is waiting."  

To which they [correctly] countered back, "Mom is fine!  She has a book!"

They found an awesome rock - and had to get on top of it, of course!

Apparently, scaling the mountain was not enough effort for 5 yr. old Brookelle, so she thought she should weigh herself down a bit more by collecting rocks along the way and putting them in her front pockets!  What?!?

That was nothing!  

Easy Peasy!

(Way to show me up!)

When can we come back?!?

 (Whoa Nelly! Not so fast.)

Matt & I were both rubbing our knees on the car ride back, then zonked out on our bed when we got home.

If You Want to Occupy a Whole Week of Your Life....

Just get this book series:

{The library even had two of the books in Large Print which was much appreciated by this 40 something yr. old - awesome!}

Yes, I know that it was not one of the books that I said I wanted to read this year as part of my New Year's Resolution, but I'm just on a slight sidetrack!  :)

Seriously, I started reading Book 1 on Tuesday night...

and finished it on Wednesday.

Then I started Book 2 on Thursday....

and finished it on Friday.

On Saturday, I started Book 3....

and was done with it on Sunday.

And then - you've probably guess it - I began Book 4 on Monday.....

and, of course, I completed it on Tuesday.

There you have it - ONE WEEK!!!

BUT get this.......somehow I was under the impression that there were only 4 books in the series (probably because that's all that is in the library), but I was wrong!  When I finished Book 4, there was a note on the last page announcing that Book 5 will be coming.......in May 2014!

WHAT?!?

So, now I have to wait for 2+ months before I can go on!

Oh, no!  What am I going to do?!?

Oh, I know.....probably return to all the normal things I usually do day after day - like eat, sleep, talk, & do laundry - when I'm not utterly caught up in reading.  ;)

While reading, I cried.  I laughed out loud.  I smiled.  I audibly exclaimed, "Oh, no!" and I thought (a lot).

I thought about things like:

money management

death

honesty

loyalty

loss/grief/coping

service

gratitude

prayer

forgiveness

morality

aliens - but I didn't think for long - I DON'T believe!

freedom/agency

love & marriage

illness

trust

and The Hand of the Lord in our Lives

My family noticed this crazy phenomenon of me going through the books so fast (when normally it takes me months)
that they would comment, It must be a really good book!  

Oh, it is! I replied.  

So, even my daughters started to ask me about it every day.  When I gave a little synopsis, they were INTERESTED.  Then they would later ask me for updates.......Now, if anything gets my extremely-not-a-fan-of-reading daughter actually drawn to reading - or a book - THAT is a good thing!!!

I'm on the waiting list at the library for Book 5.  Maybe, in the meantime, I can return from my "sidetrack" and read the other books I said I would read this year.    OR I can do something productive like fix my hair and go put gas in the car!  ;)

3 Gatsu!

YES!!!  It's March!

{finally}

Which means the worst months (January & February) are over!

Even though our weather has been mild the last couple of weeks, and today's weather hasn't change - it's actually the same - I'm just so RELIEVED we're moving onto March!

Winter has always been my least liked season, but I think, as I get older, my feelings about it are getting worse!  It's hard for me to be upbeat.  I'm not really a fan of winter sports/hobbies, so I'm not excited for snow ever.  EVEN THOUGH Utah has been known to have strange weather - snow as late as May - I feel like we're on the way out of the woods.

So, hopefully, most of the snow/cold/inversion days are over - both where I live AND where the airline I work for flies, so that we don't have to be so crazy, busy with tons of problems at work!

Hopefully, I can start to see my peeps again!  (We quit walking our kids to school when it gets into the 30's.)  It seems like we all stay inside our houses during the winter, and I don't get to see/talk to anyone.  Seriously, one day in January, I took a walk through and down every single road in my ward (church congregation geographical boundaries) and I did not see a SINGLE PERSON out.  What?!?  Do we have an anti-social ward?!?  Or people don't like to be outside in single digits when the air quality is harmful to your respiratory system?!?  ;)

So.....now that it's March, I've got several things to look forward to:

1. Having a lunch with my [long time, no see] friends
2. Going out on our semi-annual lunch with my aunts, girl cousins, & sisters on my mom's side of the family.
3. Attending a 3-day event, Romance & Royalty, with Matt up in Midway at The Zermatt Resort  (We won it!  Valued at $950)
4. Annual dinner at Ruth's Chris with a business partner (and on his dime!)
5. Spring Break with my family in Las Vegas
6. Going with TWO of my daughters to the FIRST General Women's Meeting that includes all girls age 8 & up.
7. And maybe this scene:
   

 {OK, so maybe not in Utah}

Welcome March!

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Feb. '14 Edition

Taken from the sidebar.....

Matt was quite sick, so we had our Home Teacher come over to give him a Priesthood blessing.....Man: "What is your full name?"
Matt: "Matthew Lane"
Katelyn: (blurts out right before the blessing is to start) "What?  Really?!?  Your middle name is 'Lane'?"
Matt: "Ya - Did you not know that?......FOR 9 YEARS?"
Katelyn: "NO!"
Man: (pointing to Matt in Price-is-Right-style) "This is your father."
I don't think Katelyn heard a word of the blessing because she was still thinking about it after it was over.....Katelyn: "So, dad's middle name is, 'Lane'?"
Me: "Yep."
Katelyn: "How did I not know that?"
Me: "I don't know."
Katelyn: "Lane?   Like we used to live on Glover LANE?  Why did they name him, 'Lane'?"
Me: "Ask Grandma."  2/14

Told You So

I have this little sign in my home:

It speaks the plain truth!

(Although no one wants to admit it!)

Case(s) in point:

• My two youngest daughters think it IS ABSURD that I tell them to put their shoes away, WHEN they take them off, in their closet, that it will make their life (& mine) so much easier.  (At least, I'm assuming they think it's absurd since they totally ignore my counsel on this matter.)     AND THEN, they frequently get to experience the mad dash, frantic searching, & whining/tears which comes from not being able to find their shoes - and often still produces no shoes - and results in being late to school, church, & dance lessons.
• Since Friday is "early out" from school and really the only day that works out to play with friends after school, I tell my oldest daughter that she should do all of her reading before school, so she is free to play after.  Well, apparently it's another absurd idea because it's much more fun to just hang around doing nothing before school!       AND THEN, she has this one friend who seriously calls to play THE MINUTE she walks in the door from school.  And guess what?!?  She can't play since her reading is not done.  This is followed by MUCH weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
• My friend's daughter's basketball team had a couple players get injured and they were now short on players and asked about my daughter playing with them.  When I mentioned it to her, she protested, I don't want to play!  I told her it would be fun and she would be good - she's quite tall, after all.  Her sports lovin' older brother actually told her she didn't have a choice, that she WOULD play ball!  ;)  She went out in the garage to practice dribbling, and she tripped over some boards and fell down, so she shouted/cried at me, You should've never gotten me into this!  I told her not to trip on boards - there wouldn't be any on a real basketball court - and that she needs to try it and she would have a good time.     AND THEN, she did go play in the basketball game.  She was all smiles whenever she looked at us in the "stands" and beaming afterwards.  Her first words to me at the end of the game?  "I want to sign up to play basketball next year!!"
•  I tell my family to keep their elbows off the table.  They think I'm being too proper, that I'm obsessed with "old school" manners in our own home.     AND THEN, we average 9.2 spills a week.
• I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea and like to tell my family members this quote. NO ONE else in my home buys into this.  Why would they?  It's SO MUCH easier to just drop things along the way without paying any attention.    AND THEN, *someone's* wallet is ALWAYS missing (along with all their money!) when they need to go somewhere with it.
• I've suggested an "after school routine" for my very distractable, can't-remember-what-she's-doing-when-she-walks-from-one-room-to-the-next daughter.  It goes like this:

4:00 Arrive Home

4-4:15 After school snack

4:15-4:30  ONE page of assigned homework

4:30-4:50 Practice piano

4:50-5:10 Read

So, by 5:15, she is DONE with EVERYTHING, and FREE to do whatever she wants until bedtime!!! 

She has chosen NOT to adhere to this whatsoever UP UNTIL last week (when we had to have a "duct tape intervention."  Meaning we took all 23 rolls away from her until she could go a week demonstrating responsibility & initiative.)  So, she follows the schedule, and she discovers what "free time" with no checking up from parents feels like - what a novel idea!!!  And she says to me, "This is so great!  Why haven't I been doing this all along?!?"

• But, probably THE BIGGEST "I told you so" incidences that's been on my mind [almost constantly] this week has something to do with the fact that after being a 3 car family for just a mere 5 1/2 weeks, we are back to being a 2 car family.  This is a result of our 3rd car now being deemed "undriveable" due to its extensive damage it has sustained by it's *driver* who was driving it in a way that was contrary to the ways I had always told them to drive!  Let alone, what really COULD HAVE happened to the *driver* if they weren't so lucky blessed to come out unharmed - at least physically!!!  But, what do I know?  I grew up in the 80's!  (*that person's* favorite line to say to me.)  As if "defensive driving" was ONLY applicable when I was in my youth!?!  

 Grrrrrr!
What do they say?  You learn 20% of what your hear, but 80% of what you experience.  You have to experience it to learn it.

And then it still comes back to this:

Pick Your Pain

This is what I did this morning......because who can think of ANYTHING MORE FUN to do on a Friday morning?!?

I hurt my back two weeks ago and I have been in pain ever since, so WHAT'S A LITTLE MORE PAIN, right?  ;)

I actually took the liberty to interpret the "Annual" recommendation for mammograms pretty loosely!  Like almost two years liberty.  BUT, I figured since I had FOUR (4!) in one year between 2011-12 (while they figured out I just have "junk in my ducts"), then that still averages out to be one a year since I turned 40!  ;)

When I finally decided to call in to make the appointment last Monday, it shocked me that they could see me in 4 days time!!!

I wasn't ready for that....what about mental preparation?

At first, I thought I could excuse myself out of it because Kindergarten gets out early on Fridays and I wouldn't be back in time, so I asked how long it would take.  The receptionist said 45 minutes --  from arrival to departure.  45 minutes?  WHAT medical related appointment ever takes just 45 minutes??

But, I went - and she was TRUE TO HER WORD!  I walked in at 9:25 and walked out at 10:10.

Here's some observations I had in those 45 minutes:

~We (myself & other ladies) waited in a waiting room (duh!) but were then, individually, called back to some desks on one side of the room, that were kind of separated from the waiting area by a half wall.  There, we would officially "check in" with a secretary type person.  I THINK this part is suppose to be private - they were asking us questions and such - BUT I COULD TOTALLY HEAR EACH & EVERY QUESTION THEY ASKED ALL THE PATIENTS THEY CALLED OVER while I sat waiting several feet away!!!

~To the office's credit, they do have an awesome flat screen TV on the wall of the waiting area that shows kind of like a scenery movie.  There are peaceful and beautiful scenes of waterfalls, and trees with really green foliage, and flowing streams, etc. all playing to the background music of soothing piano melodies.

*I MAY have closed my eyes while I was sitting there!*  ;)

It's a good idea to have it in their clinic -- maybe it's an attempt to get people's minds off what is about to happen to them!?  OR to distract us from hearing the other patients discussion with the secretaries about their previous "emergency contact" is now their ex-husband, whether or not they can speak English, if they are an organ donor, the details of their boob history, and their financial situation.

Which reminds me, one of my "favorites" I have saved on AccuRadio is called "Romantic Piano" - it's the beautiful sounds of the world's most versatile instrument.  That station is for when things get too crazy around here - like during the "witching hours"  (weekdays 4-6 p.m.)

~In the locker room, there were a bunch of robes monogrammed with their clinic's name & logo (Think what you see in nice hotels or spas).  But, the technician who took me back said that they were all the same size -- AND they were TOO SMALL in the shoulders to fit....so just put on the cape thing.  SO, WHAT'S THE POINT?!?  Don't tease us like that!

~While the technician was positioning me on the "smash machine," she informed me she's done a previous mammogram of mine.  Based on WHEN she made the comment, I thought she had said that because she recognized my breasts as ones she's handled before!  I was kind of stunned (freaked out) UNTIL I realized, she had just looked at my history on the computer in the room and it showed all the dates and people who had performed the tests.  whew! 
But, ya know what?!?  I'm pretty good at remembering details, but I DID NOT recognize her at all, let alone recall having her as my mammogram technician in the past!  Just goes to show that I must have blocked my previous experiences due to the high level of stress/discomfort - Repressed Memory is real!  (Even though it's controversial in the psychology world!)

~Considering the state of my aching back, it was even more difficult to follow all her instructions of:
Lean in
Put your other foot forward
Look the other way
Relax your arm
Pull your stomach back out of the way
Bring your armpit down to the plate
Chin up
Hair out of the way
Hold your breath
Don't Move
Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself about

My back has been hurting pretty bad in a NORMAL POSITION, but it hurt even worse GETTING INTO [the correct] POSITION there!

BUT, for the actual SMASH moments for the four different images they took.....Guess What?!?.....I did not notice the pain in my back!
It was trumped by the pain in my boobs!