Kids Say the Darndest Things - Feb. '14 Edition

Taken from the sidebar.....

Matt was quite sick, so we had our Home Teacher come over to give him a Priesthood blessing.....Man: "What is your full name?"
Matt: "Matthew Lane"
Katelyn: (blurts out right before the blessing is to start) "What?  Really?!?  Your middle name is 'Lane'?"
Matt: "Ya - Did you not know that?......FOR 9 YEARS?"
Katelyn: "NO!"
Man: (pointing to Matt in Price-is-Right-style) "This is your father."
I don't think Katelyn heard a word of the blessing because she was still thinking about it after it was over.....Katelyn: "So, dad's middle name is, 'Lane'?"
Me: "Yep."
Katelyn: "How did I not know that?"
Me: "I don't know."
Katelyn: "Lane?   Like we used to live on Glover LANE?  Why did they name him, 'Lane'?"
Me: "Ask Grandma."  2/14

Told You So

I have this little sign in my home:

It speaks the plain truth!

(Although no one wants to admit it!)

Case(s) in point:

• My two youngest daughters think it IS ABSURD that I tell them to put their shoes away, WHEN they take them off, in their closet, that it will make their life (& mine) so much easier.  (At least, I'm assuming they think it's absurd since they totally ignore my counsel on this matter.)     AND THEN, they frequently get to experience the mad dash, frantic searching, & whining/tears which comes from not being able to find their shoes - and often still produces no shoes - and results in being late to school, church, & dance lessons.
• Since Friday is "early out" from school and really the only day that works out to play with friends after school, I tell my oldest daughter that she should do all of her reading before school, so she is free to play after.  Well, apparently it's another absurd idea because it's much more fun to just hang around doing nothing before school!       AND THEN, she has this one friend who seriously calls to play THE MINUTE she walks in the door from school.  And guess what?!?  She can't play since her reading is not done.  This is followed by MUCH weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
• My friend's daughter's basketball team had a couple players get injured and they were now short on players and asked about my daughter playing with them.  When I mentioned it to her, she protested, I don't want to play!  I told her it would be fun and she would be good - she's quite tall, after all.  Her sports lovin' older brother actually told her she didn't have a choice, that she WOULD play ball!  ;)  She went out in the garage to practice dribbling, and she tripped over some boards and fell down, so she shouted/cried at me, You should've never gotten me into this!  I told her not to trip on boards - there wouldn't be any on a real basketball court - and that she needs to try it and she would have a good time.     AND THEN, she did go play in the basketball game.  She was all smiles whenever she looked at us in the "stands" and beaming afterwards.  Her first words to me at the end of the game?  "I want to sign up to play basketball next year!!"
•  I tell my family to keep their elbows off the table.  They think I'm being too proper, that I'm obsessed with "old school" manners in our own home.     AND THEN, we average 9.2 spills a week.
• I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea and like to tell my family members this quote. NO ONE else in my home buys into this.  Why would they?  It's SO MUCH easier to just drop things along the way without paying any attention.    AND THEN, *someone's* wallet is ALWAYS missing (along with all their money!) when they need to go somewhere with it.
• I've suggested an "after school routine" for my very distractable, can't-remember-what-she's-doing-when-she-walks-from-one-room-to-the-next daughter.  It goes like this:

4:00 Arrive Home

4-4:15 After school snack

4:15-4:30  ONE page of assigned homework

4:30-4:50 Practice piano

4:50-5:10 Read

So, by 5:15, she is DONE with EVERYTHING, and FREE to do whatever she wants until bedtime!!! 

She has chosen NOT to adhere to this whatsoever UP UNTIL last week (when we had to have a "duct tape intervention."  Meaning we took all 23 rolls away from her until she could go a week demonstrating responsibility & initiative.)  So, she follows the schedule, and she discovers what "free time" with no checking up from parents feels like - what a novel idea!!!  And she says to me, "This is so great!  Why haven't I been doing this all along?!?"

• But, probably THE BIGGEST "I told you so" incidences that's been on my mind [almost constantly] this week has something to do with the fact that after being a 3 car family for just a mere 5 1/2 weeks, we are back to being a 2 car family.  This is a result of our 3rd car now being deemed "undriveable" due to its extensive damage it has sustained by it's *driver* who was driving it in a way that was contrary to the ways I had always told them to drive!  Let alone, what really COULD HAVE happened to the *driver* if they weren't so lucky blessed to come out unharmed - at least physically!!!  But, what do I know?  I grew up in the 80's!  (*that person's* favorite line to say to me.)  As if "defensive driving" was ONLY applicable when I was in my youth!?!  

 Grrrrrr!
What do they say?  You learn 20% of what your hear, but 80% of what you experience.  You have to experience it to learn it.

And then it still comes back to this:

Pick Your Pain

This is what I did this morning......because who can think of ANYTHING MORE FUN to do on a Friday morning?!?

I hurt my back two weeks ago and I have been in pain ever since, so WHAT'S A LITTLE MORE PAIN, right?  ;)

I actually took the liberty to interpret the "Annual" recommendation for mammograms pretty loosely!  Like almost two years liberty.  BUT, I figured since I had FOUR (4!) in one year between 2011-12 (while they figured out I just have "junk in my ducts"), then that still averages out to be one a year since I turned 40!  ;)

When I finally decided to call in to make the appointment last Monday, it shocked me that they could see me in 4 days time!!!

I wasn't ready for that....what about mental preparation?

At first, I thought I could excuse myself out of it because Kindergarten gets out early on Fridays and I wouldn't be back in time, so I asked how long it would take.  The receptionist said 45 minutes --  from arrival to departure.  45 minutes?  WHAT medical related appointment ever takes just 45 minutes??

But, I went - and she was TRUE TO HER WORD!  I walked in at 9:25 and walked out at 10:10.

Here's some observations I had in those 45 minutes:

~We (myself & other ladies) waited in a waiting room (duh!) but were then, individually, called back to some desks on one side of the room, that were kind of separated from the waiting area by a half wall.  There, we would officially "check in" with a secretary type person.  I THINK this part is suppose to be private - they were asking us questions and such - BUT I COULD TOTALLY HEAR EACH & EVERY QUESTION THEY ASKED ALL THE PATIENTS THEY CALLED OVER while I sat waiting several feet away!!!

~To the office's credit, they do have an awesome flat screen TV on the wall of the waiting area that shows kind of like a scenery movie.  There are peaceful and beautiful scenes of waterfalls, and trees with really green foliage, and flowing streams, etc. all playing to the background music of soothing piano melodies.

*I MAY have closed my eyes while I was sitting there!*  ;)

It's a good idea to have it in their clinic -- maybe it's an attempt to get people's minds off what is about to happen to them!?  OR to distract us from hearing the other patients discussion with the secretaries about their previous "emergency contact" is now their ex-husband, whether or not they can speak English, if they are an organ donor, the details of their boob history, and their financial situation.

Which reminds me, one of my "favorites" I have saved on AccuRadio is called "Romantic Piano" - it's the beautiful sounds of the world's most versatile instrument.  That station is for when things get too crazy around here - like during the "witching hours"  (weekdays 4-6 p.m.)

~In the locker room, there were a bunch of robes monogrammed with their clinic's name & logo (Think what you see in nice hotels or spas).  But, the technician who took me back said that they were all the same size -- AND they were TOO SMALL in the shoulders to fit....so just put on the cape thing.  SO, WHAT'S THE POINT?!?  Don't tease us like that!

~While the technician was positioning me on the "smash machine," she informed me she's done a previous mammogram of mine.  Based on WHEN she made the comment, I thought she had said that because she recognized my breasts as ones she's handled before!  I was kind of stunned (freaked out) UNTIL I realized, she had just looked at my history on the computer in the room and it showed all the dates and people who had performed the tests.  whew! 
But, ya know what?!?  I'm pretty good at remembering details, but I DID NOT recognize her at all, let alone recall having her as my mammogram technician in the past!  Just goes to show that I must have blocked my previous experiences due to the high level of stress/discomfort - Repressed Memory is real!  (Even though it's controversial in the psychology world!)

~Considering the state of my aching back, it was even more difficult to follow all her instructions of:
Lean in
Put your other foot forward
Look the other way
Relax your arm
Pull your stomach back out of the way
Bring your armpit down to the plate
Chin up
Hair out of the way
Hold your breath
Don't Move
Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself about

My back has been hurting pretty bad in a NORMAL POSITION, but it hurt even worse GETTING INTO [the correct] POSITION there!

BUT, for the actual SMASH moments for the four different images they took.....Guess What?!?.....I did not notice the pain in my back!
It was trumped by the pain in my boobs!

This Weekend:

*We celebrated Valentine's Day with our traditional dinner with our kiddos on Thursday night, since many of us had plans on Friday.

Unfortunately, Ryan's missing dinner with us a lot lately due to work and studying.  :(  

I guess it's getting us ready for when he goes on his mission!  :)

(And we watched some Olympics)

* For Valentine's Day, the 6th Graders at our Elementary School

always do a lip sync for their "party."

Matt & I went and saw Haylee's group perform,

"Let it Go" from the movie, Frozen.

{And she wore a TIARA - gasp!}

* While I was in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago, Matt sent me a text, Can I reserve you Feb. 14-15? I jokingly replied that I was already busy that day........

Duh! OF COURSE, he could "reserve" me!!

He gave me instructions to pack an overnight bag, but no other details.  Matt came home from work early and we started heading north in the car.  After a while, he had me open an "agenda" printed on pink paper and folded into a "scroll".......later I saw he'd set up a "gift basket" in our hotel room.

 We had reservations at the Marriott in Logan

which included the Valentine's Day dinner buffet at the adjoining restaurant.

(We'd been to that restaurant 2 weeks ago at his Grandma's 90th birthday party, and I saw the signs advertising this Valentine's Day event.  HE saw ME looking/reading the signs, so he decided to book it for us!)  The boy is SMART -- I've trained him well!  ;)  haha.

There was a ton of things on the spread, but my favorites were:

hummus & crostini's

lettuce wraps

stuffed mushrooms

asparagus - with a yummy cheese sauce

coconut shrimp w/ sweet chili/mango dipping sauce

Prime Rib

Matt had about 254 chilled shrimp & 59 coconut shrimps and topped it off with 6 desserts!

Then we ROLLED back up to our hotel room.........  ;)

(And we watched some Olympics)

*  I totally slept in on Saturday morning until 11:00ish!

(Of course, I'd stayed up way late the night before)

* The "plan" was to go to BREAKFAST at The Crepery, 

but due to my late rising, we hit the LUNCH rush there instead - still VERY good!

 There were these delightful hanging chairs to sit in while we ate my savory crepe. 

(It made me want to buy my own crepe maker!)

*Since we were in Logan (the place we met & dated) we decided to visit a few of our old stomping grounds!  First Stop:  A & W for root beer floats.
(Although the big fireplace in the middle with bar seating surrounding it has since been removed.)  ;(

 Now THEY really know how to do a float!  ;)

*Then we went up to the campus of Utah State University, the place

of Matt & I's first meeting (Fall 1993).  We walked around

and found the classroom in Old Main where we had our

Japanese class together.

 Then we hung out in the Student Center.  

We're real nerdy sentimental like that!

(It was DEAD, though.  What?  Everyone wants to stay OFF campus on a Saturday?  Everyone at the Aggies basketball game?)

There has been so many changes/additions to the campus....it was kinda sad for us, 

we feel like we want it to remain the same, but we understand it has to grow with 

its student body and the times!  

(Back in our day, we didn't even have all this technology stuff that needed rooms & buildings to house it!  Email was new.  I didn't even use it, yet, but I knew of some real "cutting edge brains" who were experimenting with it!)  :)

* We stopped by Gossner's and stocked up on some Cookies 'n' Cream and Strawberry shelf stable milk.

Our plan was to just put it in the cold storage room, without telling the kids we had purchased some more,

and see how long it took them to discover it.........since they can't seem to NOTICE the same DANG dirty sock & Fun Dip wrapper that has been sitting on the floor/cedar chest/window sill for A WHOLE WEEK.  

They found it in less than 24 hours!

* We went to DownEast Home looking for some chairs for the Great Room.

The problem with this store is that, while I like their stuff, they only have ONE chair

of a particular kind....and I'm looking for TWO!
We ran into Matt's aunt & cousins there, though!  Fun!  That's very likely to happen in Cache Valley!

* We drove towards home by way of Brigham City (the place of our first residence when we got married)

and ate dinner at Peach City.

* As soon as we got home, I started making treats for Ryan's dance group, who were

coming to our home after the Valentine's dance.

(And we watched some Olympics while preparing)

  {Ryan & Abby - they made their shirts}

Ryan's Sunday School teacher had lent him his sports car convertible for the dance, and unfortunately, kids from his rival high school (I'll say it - it was the DAVIS DARTS!  Sore losers from their basketball loss the night before, I guess) had come into the parking lot during the dance and put peanut butter, egg, and mustard all over a bunch of cars - including the one Ryan had borrowed!  OH NO!  NOT COOL!!  So, the first item of business was washing cars when they first arrived at our home.

10 couples came!

This is what is looks like [in shoes].  ;)

* Sunday morning, I had myYW class presidency meeting before church at my home - WITH cinnamon rolls.

{Ya gotta get 'em there!}  

* Churchy Church on Sunday.

Ryan actually spoke in Sacrament Meeting -- an assignment I knew nothing about, and Ryan had

actually FORGOTTEN until 1 hour before the meeting started!   That was when

he woke up and still had to shower/dress.

We, his parents, could tell it was "on the fly" and, at times, he was just "filling time", but quite a few people came up to him and us afterwards and said how great he did and they were impressed with his ability to do it last minute. 

(Let's just say his High School Debate team experience competing in the "Impromptu" category really paid off!)
I taught THIS lesson in Young Women and handed out this candy quote card:

(On orange cardstock because that is the color that goes with the YW value, "choice & accountability")

* Dinner and FHE at the Brenchley's.

We got to stay later than normal because of NO SCHOOL on Monday.

(We came home and watched some Olympics)

* On Monday, Matt had the day off work for President's Day, so we got serious about looking for some chairs.  We went to three stores and found a couple of things
WE WEREN'T SHOPPING FOR, and were seriously considering buying,
but then we figured we better get Matt fed before we made a major purchase.....

(because those who know him, know he CANNOT FUNCTION when he goes too long without food!  

I KNOW!  It happened the first few times I was in labor, having a baby.....because my labors last SO FREAKIN' LONG, and he didn't want to leave the hospital room.  

We finally learned our lesson and started packing food for him or mapping out the local eateries ahead of time!)  ;)

OK - back to the weekend.

*Lunch at C & B Maddox in Layton

Their menu has the same turkey steaks and fried chicken that is served at my favorite restaurant, 

Maddox Ranch House, which happens to be [too] far away.

So, we can eat there and it "hits the spot" - AND I get my Maddox Turkey Steak fix!

* So, then we returned to chair shopping.

We found just ONE (of course) at this furniture store, but they were able to find ANOTHER one at a different location.

{Score!}

 So, we now have one less empty space in our home.
(I've left the tags on them because I have "commitment" issue, I guess!)

 Because of the pattern, we are either calling them the "eyeball" chairs
or the "UTES" chairs.  (See the "U" in the middle - and they're more red than this pic depicts!)

* I was getting multiple texts & calls from the kids asking what was for dinner, so 

we stopped by Panda Express and got the Family Meal for take out on our

way back home.

* We had Family Night and Haylee gave a lesson on stealing.

She shared a story out of The Friend magazine about a girl who stole a pop out of a cooler

at a public place - and THEN felt awful, etc. etc......

OK, so we all agreed that THAT example IS stealing and is wrong.....BUT we are a house

divided on the subject of whether or not it is considered stealing if you take something [that's not yours] from your OWN house.  

NAMELY:  Us parents say it is stealing.  If it is NOT yours, it's not yours.  AND it's not yours!!!  End of story.  

The kids say it is not stealing.  [BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES DOING IT, THAT'S WHY!]
They claim that since they didn't KNOW whose the (fill in the blank with whatever it was they took) was, AND it was just laying out in plain sight when they took it,
that they did not "steal." 

{Do you understand their logic?  Because I don't!}

When presented with that argument,  
I asked, "Was it yours?"

Them:  "No."
Me:  "But you took it anyway...."
Them:  "Ya, so?"

Me:  "Then it's stealing."

Them:  "No it's not."

Me:  "Let's look at the definition of stealing:  

to take (another person's property) without permission or legal right and without intending to return it.

What do you think?!?

If they won't take it from their parents, will they at least believe Webster?!?

(Oh!  And we watched some more Olympics)

Friday Funnies OR Things I've Heard on the Job #9

"Funnies"  - Did anyone else used to call the comics in the Sunday newspaper, "the funnies"?

We did in my family.

Since that's what I'm going to share with you today, AND it is a Friday, I'm calling this post, "Friday Funnies" -- and it might become a regular feature???  Who knows?

My material also comes from a customer while I was "On the phones at JetBlue."

The call was coming to a natural end and I was about to bid him farewell.....

Customer:  "WAIT!  Can I ask you one more thing?"

Based on past experience, my immediate thought was, Oh no, it's one of those guys!

(Like the foot fetish guy who asks if I'm wearing any shoes.  Like the hand fetish guy who asks how big my hands are.  Like the Perv who asks what kind of lingerie I wear.  Like the whatever psycho who asks a variety of freaky &/or inappropriate questions.)

Me:  (guarded)  "OK."

Customer:  "Where does a one-legged woman work?"

(After that question, I STILL thought he was going to turn it into something sick & wrong.  Should I disconnect the call?)

Me: (still guarded)  "Where?"

Customer:  "IHOP"

Hahahaha.  Oh, whew!  What a pleasant surprise!  It was a REAL joke!  :)

Customer:  "I've got one more for you."

Me:  (guard down this time)  "OK."

Customer:  "What did one eye say to the other eye?

Me:  "What?"

Customer:  "Don't look now, but there's something between us that smells."

Bwah ha haha.  Instead of a dirty, old man....he turned out to be a clever, delightful man!  :)

Happy Friday!  (And Valentine's Day!)

**************

Other "Things I've Heard on the Job" here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.

A Couple of Math Equations

1.

 +

 +

 +

 +

 +

 =

A much needed [Winter] BREAK in Hawaii last week.

2.

 {It's the wait-until-Mom-gets-home-to-finish-Science-Fair-project-that's-DUE-the-NEXT-DAY-syndrome}

To find out how I feel about those things, read HERE.

+

 +

 {I haven't got a clue!}

+

 +

 

{Why is unpacking such a daunting task?}

 +

 +

=

A RUDE awakening to my harsh reality!

When Your Broncos Make It to the Super Bowl.....

Your husband's "DREAM" of the last gazillion years, all of a sudden becomes a "NEED!"

Such a funny phenomenon.....No?  ;)

To fulfill my need, I think I'll take off to Hawaii this week.  Seriously.

Good Bye! 

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Jan. '14 Edition

Taken from the sidebar......

I was doing a workout video in the Great Room and Miss B was nearby......
Brookelle: "Oh, I can see your tummy going, 'Boing, Boing, Boing!'." (as she rounded her arms out in front of her and did an up & down motion)  1/14

I was driving Kindergarten carpool and two of the kids were playing tic-tac-toe in the back seat......
Girl: "Aaugh! Why do I never win, and you always win?"
Brookelle: "That's just because I'm an EXPERT!"  1/14

Miss B and I were hangin' out alone.....
Me: "Do you want me to tell you a secret?"
Brookelle: "Yes."
Me: "You're beautiful!"
Brookelle: "THAT'S NOT A SECRET!"
(good thing she has self-esteem!)  1/14

Let it Be Known - Round 2

My 2nd boy has now passed me up in height!

He's definitely feeling pretty good about himself.

And by the way....doesn't his [shorter] hair look GREAT?!? ;) 

 {Here's closer proof!}

Although, he IS proud of this milestone -- passing me up alone is not what he considers his greatest victory. (After all, I'm only [a very unimpressive] 5'3".)

What he is MOST proud of is that he did it at age 14 yrs. and 2 1/2 months.........
STILL, not that impressive alone.....BUT consider THIS:

Ryan did not accomplish this until he was 14 yrs. and 7 months!!!

So, therefore, Kyle WON!  :)
(It's another one of those ongoing, unofficial competitions these boys have going between them!)

Now, Kyle has big aspirations to pass up his [6' 3"] dad, too!
{Ha!  With ME in his genetic make up?}

A boy can dream, can't he?!?  ;)

Can He Take the Hint(s)?

Here is my child, "Kylee"...er...uh...I mean, "Kyle."

 And this is how he has chosen to wear his hair lately.

 Much to my mom's and some adults from church disgust & disturbance.....

I don't say anything, unless I'm asked.  I just let his experiences tell him all he needs to know/learn.

*Although, I do have to slip in a joke when the situation presents itself; like when I got an email from the Jr. High saying that they were going to have a bunch of different themed days at school that week.   "Crazy Hair Day" was one of them.  I asked him if we was going to participate, and then followed it up real quickly with the comment, "Oh, you don't need to do anything.  You've got 'crazy hair' EVERY day!"  ;) 

So, these experiences started two months ago we were down in St. George for Thanksgiving and we (Matt, Ryan, Kyle, me, my brother & sister, their spouses, and my niece & nephews) all went to the St. George Temple together to do Baptisms for the Dead. 

When it was Kyle's turn, Matt was in the font with him, and he looked at the monitor to start reading the name of the person he was going to baptize Kyle for and he noticed that the Officiator had put a pink card of names up.  (Female names are printed on the pink cards, male names on blue cards).  Matt told him he needed to change the card.  The Officiator looked up from his desk and down into the font, and looked completely confused - and hesitant to follow Matt's suggestion.  He did doubtfully trade out the pink card for a blue card so all was right, although he couldn't figure out why Matt had made that request. 

Later, I took Kyle aside and said, "Just so you're aware......." and proceeded to explain to him that he was mistaken for a girl that day in the temple -- because of his hair!  And it was something to consider.
Well, he got pretty testy about that and argued, "Just because some 189 yr. old guy, who is CONFUSED and has BAD VISION, makes a mistake because he's OLD, you think I should cut my hair?!?"

Nope, I replied.  It's just something to consider.

*And just for the record, the temple worker was not even half that old!


THEN, fast forward just three weeks later......our youth group from church went to the Bountiful Temple together to do Baptisms again.  I was there, accompanying the group, including Ryan & Kyle, as an adult leader and was watching everyone get baptized. 

The names of the people they were doing the work for was from a foreign country, with some of the last names spelled with a t-s-z-j all in a row, and very hard to pronounce.  On the monitor at this temple, I could not tell the color of the card - they looked white to me.  So, it became Kyle's turn, and I noticed the first person he got baptized for was a "Maria" with one of those really tricky last names. 

I even leaned over to the girl next to me and said, "I guess in that foreign country, 'Maria' is a boy's name!"  And we smiled together. 

THEN the next name came on the monitor and it was "Julianna."  I started to think, What are the chances that this [girl name in America], too, is a boy name in their country?!? 

So, then I looked up and over the monitor and onto the desktop and saw that it was, indeed, a pink card that was being used!  At that point, I interjected out loud, "Are these girls' names?"

Again, all the workers looked back & forth between Kyle and the pink card.  And because he had actually been baptized [for a girl] already, his hair was wet and looked even longer in the back at that moment!
Some more baffled looks and mumblings about what was going on.  His brother, Ryan, was more than happy to blurt out, "He's a guy!"
And Kyle moaned, "Not again.  That's TWICE!"

They fixed it all, switched out the pink card for a blue card, and the rest of us ward members in there had to try SO HARD to control our giggles!  ;)

After that experience, the universal question people were asking was, "Is he getting the hint, yet?"

Well, he FINALLY did - after another month went by!

He claims it did not have anything to do with his "mistaken identity" but rather because it was too "high maintenance" of a hairstyle.  And it was.  He took a l-o-o-ong time to get it to flip up just so in the back, and to gel up the front.  I would be waiting for him to go somewhere, in the car out in the driveway, as he was in the bathroom doing his hair still! 

Tonight, he just asked me to cut it off!

{He's put that "precious memento" in a baggie and saved it!}

I've had tons of people come up to me and tell me HOW GOOD his hair looks, now!  Yep!

But, he says he's had mixed reactions at school. 
The boys are saying, "Dude, WHY did you cut off your mullet?" 
And the girls are telling him they like it!  ;) 
So, then he's having second thoughts.

To which I asked him, Who would you rather want to think you look good; the boys or the girls?

Oh....yeah....that makes sense, he realized, as my comment put things into perspective for him.